Saturday, December 11, 2010
I set the alarm last night to 9.00 for this morning, to go to aerobics class to 10. When it rang to wake me up I immediately hit snooze, then again...and again. I didn't want to go. But my sweetie woke up and he started waking me up gently, with kisses, hugs and a backrub :),so i woke up, and after 30 minutes of morning rituals and prepping off i went to the gym. Man it felt so good afterwards...I did well on the aerobics class, I was strong and fit in those 60 minutes, maybe stronger than during the week when i go to 8 in the afternoon, I felt good, I felt hope. My energy lasted long after i came home and i got several things done around the house too, and now i'm relaxing and surfing the web from my bed, proud of myself for a saturday morning workout and the productive hours afterwards in the house. :) My sweetie was so great, I would've missed the workout if it wasn't for him. He sees that i'm not comfortable in my skin and he sometimes tries t help me with these simple acts. He says he doesn't care about how many extra pounds I have (and i tend to believe him because he reeeeeally seems to love my body :D ) but i'm not doing this for him, i'm doing this for ME. I've only set ONE GOAL for 2011: to weigh 57 kgs (126 lbs). That's it! Nothing else, no spiritual or work-realted goal, just this. I will do my job of course, do everything that needs to be done, things will come along the way, but my FOCUS will be on reaching 57 kgs.
I'm a perfectionist - in my head. Which means that i have the desire to do and have everything perfectly, but i don't work for it, and when the outcome isn't how i imagined (of course only because my leck of putting work into it), i get disappointed. Knowing now the way i am, i decided to set only one goal, not many, because i actually have the energy to do ONE thing in a perfectionist way, but doing 3-4-5-6-... things perfectly - that would be hard even for a workaholic. So this is why i only have 1 goal for 2011. Also, when i look at my life with an outsider's eye, i can see that my weight is what occupies (negatively) my mind the most. So 2011: here I come!
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Although I decided to track my food in this month...i didn't start that yet. Everything was hectic, i even had a small car accident, my honey takes the exam for his driver's license tomorrow and i'm trying to learn with him as much as i can...
I did eat less today until a little too much sweets tonight but that's a start too...
I NEED to stop being negative, i need to stop hating myself, i need to TRY every day - if i'd succeed only half of the time that would be good for a start - just that i've got an all or nothing attitude - that also needs to be CHANGED!!!
Monday, November 29, 2010
I decided to start tracking my food again. It won't be simple because my daily schedule is hectic but I will try my best. I hve to plan meals - and most importantly - stick to the plan!!!!
My BMR is 1740. I go to aerobics classes 5 times a week and I'm gonna track those too but I'm not sure which type of exercise to choose. The tracker has general aerobics: both low and high impact, and step aerobics, also low and high impact. I go to a class that does step too but not 100% of the time...and it's pretty intense but in the last 10-15 minutes we lie down on the mat and do abs, etc, so that part is not very intense. This is why i'm not sure which category to choose. I checked out the amount of calories they burn and i decided that i'm gonna choose the one that burns 550 kcal in 60 minutes - it's the General Aerobics: High Impact. I might do other cardio too, i plan to go a little earlier to the gym to do 30 minutes on a cardio machine.
And although this is a december calorie deficit blog, still i will start tracking beginning with today - november 30 - because i simply wanna start it as early as i can now that i made the decision, and i also want to get a little used to it in these 2 days.
I had this really good system in spring this year when i've lost 15 or so pounds (which i gained all back BTW). I know my BMR, i track my food and exercise, so iget my calorie deficit. I also track my water intake too because that's very important in my opinion.
Here's how the model looks like:
December , 2010
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + =
Calories Consumed =
Calorie Deficit =
Cups H2O =
I plan to have a daily deficit of 700 kcal when i go to aerobics class (this means i'll consume 1600 kcal) and a deficit of 540 when i don't (consuming 1200 kcal).
December 11, 2010
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + 560= 2300
Calories Consumed = 1825
Calorie Deficit = -475
Cups H2O = 8
December12 , 2010
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + 0 = 1740
Calories Consumed = 1220
Calorie Deficit = - 520
Cups H2O = 3
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Hi everyone! Since the last time I wrote - 2 weeks ago - I had one rough week and one good week. The rough one was the first in line, i only went to aerobics class once, on monday, instead of the 5 times i planned. And i didn't do anything good on the nutrition field either. This past week was much better though, i went to the aerobics class the whole 5 times. I've got trouble eating less though. If i get hungry i eat, sometimes even when i'm not completely hungry too, i don't plan meals, i don't cook now, i don't always watch portions, if my boyfrien buys sweets i eat too.
For me, a good idea would be to stick to the aerobics class, get used to it, make it a habit, a daily part of my life, something i don't decide to go or not because i just go, naturally. I hope this will happen in a month. In the meantime, i don't want to stress tooooo much about food. I will try to make healthy and diet-friendly choices, but it won't be such a priority as the aerobics class. I want to do it this way because if i want to do two new things in the same time (aerobics+nutrition) i get overwhelmed and quit. But once i'm used to aerobics starting a new way of nutriotion won't be as challenging because that will be the only thing i'll have to focus on, i won't have to focus on an other new thing too.
And, by the way, to go a little further, i realised that once i'll lose my extra weight (or part of it), once i'll be totally used to doing aerobics and eating right, i will be able to try new things. For example start running again. Go vegetarian/vegan. Try a dance class. Enjoy a new/old hobby. Try new ways of earning extra money (hmmm....this came out wrong...i didn't man anything nasty...:)) ). Start a big project (i can think of renovating the house but that's a really big one...:) ). Etc, etc, etc, etc.
But right now i feel that losing weight is the one project that takes up all of my energy. During the day, while i work, there isn't a 10 minute period that passes by in which i don't think of my extra weight. (I know i have to relax and not stress about it, but i can't accept myself like this, I will never be happy in this body, no matter what. ) After work i hardly have 1-2 hrs before the 8 pm aerobics class that lasts until 9.00, i get home at 9.15-9.30, take a shower wash and dry my hair and voilá: i gotta go to bed if i don't wanna be tired the next day.Plus I have a boyfriend. Plus i have friends. Plus i have family. Plus i should have a little time each day to relax, read, surf on the web, etc.
It's not easy. But I'm already starting to get use dto aerobics, i like and enjoy it and it makes me feel better about myself, it makes me stronger. This will work out well. I feel it! :)
Sunday, November 07, 2010
I wrote a blog entry 2 weeks ago after I decided that I'm gonna post blog entries on SP again more regularly. Although I want to write more often than 2 weeks I just didn't have enough time and when I had I forgot about it.
I can confidently say now that I've been going to my aerobics class regularly. We do one hour of simple or step aerobics and it's really intensive, I sweat a lot and my muscles are sometimes sore but I already feel that I can do more without stopping and I feel that I'm more flexible than 3 weeks ago, isn't that awesome?? I also am lucky because they now do a class on Saturday too (they only had classes between Monday-Friday).
So they have aerobics between Monday-Saturday now, that's 6 days, I'm aiming for 5, not because I WANT to skip a day but because my work consists of traveling medium distances on a few days of the week and each Wednesday I stay in an other city. So I aim for 5, I went 4 times this week though, because on Monday I got home at 9 at night from work. I'm happy with 4 too for this week, but next week I won't get home that late, so I want to go 5 times.
My emotions about this aerobics class are mixed. When I started it a needed really big pushes each day to get my butt up and go. Now it's only natural that I'm going and I don't need anything to motivate me, because I just go. Sometimes though, right before leaving, there's that small side of me that wants me to stay home for different reasons, like if I surfed the web until taking off I feel like I want to surf the web more and thus not go, but I always go anyway.
It feels good that each time I had the opportunity to go this week, I went.
Food on the other hand isn't so good. I eat and I eat more than I should and it makes me feel bad and stupid. I do the 3 biggest mistakes one can make with food:
- i eat big portions, portions that are too big if someone is trying to lose weight
- i eat anything, not just the weight loss-friendly stuff
- if there's some good food in front of me that I like very much I just eat almost as much of it as I want
Some progress though is that I don't eat chocolate almost at all now. My boyfriend buys himself a lot of sweets and I 80% of the time don't eat of it.
So what I need to do in addition to what I do so far (exercise and a liiiittle self-control with food) is:
- work on the remaining 20%,
- skip the not diet friendly foods altogether (the maximum is eating one spoonful of it, just to taste because I love tastes),
- the dinner I have on Wednesday night in that other city has to be diet friendly: a soup and a salad for example (or maybe just a soup!!) - not pizza
- eat smaller portions
My mood is quite low btw. Having this extra weight, not looking the way I'd like to look, not having as much money as I'd like to have :) - these all add up and somehow I can' look at the bright side right now - but I know I will when I'll see the number on the scale more down - finally.
I found a quote btw that I love:
"A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses these skills to accomplish his goals" - Larry Bird
And another one:
'"It's impossible", said Pride.
"It's risky", said Experience.
"It's pointless", said Reason.
"Give it a try", said the Heart.'
And one more:
"Stepping outside my comfort zone is the price I pay to find out how good I can be". (D. Davila, marathoner)
I HAVE stepped outside my comfort zone this month by going to aerobics classes but this is far from enough. Now I have to step outside my comfort zone with nutrition.
And I WILL do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today I'll go to my mom's birthday party where there's a lot of food, I'll blog about how it went later.
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