My brother managed to have today off.
So he and I went out for a nice long drive in the rain and looked at some truck and various car lots. Tested one pathfinder but it was crap. Couldn't find any that we like that was in his price range.
We did do a lot of walking despite it raining.
Came home and I made up a nice spaghetti and meatsauce.
Logged on to the computer and it was blank. Unhooked all the wires and plugs and reboot. got it to work some. Now I am trying to catch up with sparks, do my blog and go to bed.
My brother is not going to buy a truck but instead he is going to help me with my share of the bill, actually all of it until I find a job and can pay him back.
I don't like this but what can I do, I have to take his amazing offer of help, I don't like being in this situation any more than he does.
My brother is AWESOME!
I hope you all have had a great day and a great Thanks Giving Canadian.
I am thankful that I was not alone and that I spent the day with my brother and not alone. Even though I would have had my sparkers.
I had some cute pictures to share but my page blacked out and now I lost everything.
Will try again, they say third times the charm. Right
Made this last night since I was wide awake again and didn't get any sleep.
I did manage to get in a two hour nap at noon today/ So that is better than nothing.
I went for a two hour walk while defraging my computer and my computer froze while doing it. Now it won't let me defrag. Can't restore either I now have no restore points.
Whew just managed to save it. Ignore type O's. can't get the feature to work.
Any ways I will continue this blog tomorrow.
Thanks for hangin in there with me, Please don't be mad,
One question If I copy my resume here will sparks be mad and delet my blog. I need someone to look it over for me and tell what is wrong with it and how in the world am I going to get references now.
I am trull a mess inside and out. I will clean myself up and I will "FAKE IT TO MAKE IT" as everyone keeps telling me todo but it sure is hard. I don't like faking anything but if that is what I must do then I will do it.
Hugs and I wish you all a great Monday and Happy Thanksgiving.
I wonder if I can reset everything back without destroying everything? Not taking a chance.
Oh and some more good news.
BEING SARCASTICE HERE!
Mr. BF cancelled our dinner date wasn't that nice of him. He rather spend time at his Girl cousins place and go out for dinner with her than spend one minute with me.
I am so very lucky. I got to spend the day by myself. Woohoo!
So I know you all have said not to do anytbing while I am depressed or in this mood but I reall really want to tell him off.
He knows I am hurting, he knows how hard I am trying to get a job, any frigin job. I don't care I will clean toliets for money. He thinks that I should have had a job by now.
One more thing about yesterday. I was told not to use my only two refeerences that I have any more.
Back to square 0 not one.
So now you all know that I am failure here in my real life. I know that I am not a failure in my Spark's life and I know that I am worth it.
I am worth it to have someone to love me for me and not because I have a job.
I am worth it to have friend in my real world and not just my many many many wonderful sparks friend that I have here that trully care for me.
I am worth it to get healthy and to sleep every night for 7 hours. I am not greedy I will take 6 but I really need a full 8 to function.
I am worth it to stay fit and to gain more strength. I can't evern lift 10 lbs anymore but I will get it back.
So I may not have a BF for much longer and I may not have a job this minute but what I can do is to stay with you wonderful and supportive sparkers and get a life that I will be happy with.
I will work out starting new. Starting a new program tomorrow. going to lose my blog so I willend now.
I've had a very bad day today. Got no sleep at all and after laying in bed for hours I took a sleeping pill and that didn't even work. So I got up and worked on my knitting for a while, Well actually all day except for when I went out for a long walk in the rain to get out of this place for awhile. I walked for about an hour and got soaking wet, went to the store to get milk for breakfast tomorrow.
I just finished taking a long hot bubble bath and I still feel rotten. The wine would have tasted so good if it wasn't sour, had to put a cork back in it and I took it back to the store where I got it and they gave me my money back. I was going to replace the bottle but I would have drank the whole thing and that would not have been a good idea.
I weighed in this morning and as you all can see I gain weight. I know it is from lack of sleeping and pour eating habits even if I did exercise this week, it sure didn't help any.
I also got some very bad news today and right now I can't discuss it. In a few days time I might be able to but right now I need to do alt of thinking and praying.
I wish I can say more but I can't. We will leave it at that.
I thank you all for all your feed comments today. I know who my friends are in Cyber space and I appreciate it very much. I will be around, I need you all and I know I have your trust and support.
I am truly appreciative to all of you for your lovely comment on my knittables and encouraging me to stay strong and that I will get a job soon.
I have delete lots of old programs and sites on my computer that I don't use anymore. I have done two scans on my computer today to fix and resolve my computer issues and still I can't figure out what is causing the shut down.
Still no word from the help desk in this matter. All I know is that quite a few customers are having the same problem as me and it has nothing to do with Sparks. It has something to do with the set up of the program.
I have tried to restore but the program won't allow me too. I have tried to reset the program to its original settings and it won't allow me too.
So the next best thing to do is to take the computer in and have the net work guy fix my computer but it will cost me over 100.00$ and about 4 days for the repairs to be done.
I don't have the money nor do I have the time to spare to get my computer fix. I need my computer for my customer orders and I need it for my daily and evening sparking. I won't give that up.
So what I have decided to do right now is to leave things as it is. Work around the problem and don't get upset about it. When I do get a job and save up some money after paying bills, rent, groceries and my brother back then I will get something done with this computer.
Or maybe Window7 can fix this compatibility issues with Internet Explorer and Java Script and my reader programs.
I have lots and lots of patience when it come to my knitting and my crocheting so I need to work and learn to get more patient with my computer and my health.
One step and one day at a time, right? RIGHT!!!!!!
Tomorrow I am going to delete all my message that was left on my page and leave only this weeks on. I need to free up some space on my computer and see if this site and my computer will speed up.
I will keep all of my blogs cause they are a part of my life and my way of journalising. I will keep your comments on my blogs and will not delete them because they mean so much to me.
As for the rest of my weekend, my thanksgiving has been cancelled. My BF and his family will not celebrate thanksgiving this year but will celebrate the US thanksgiving later on.
That is OK with me.
So what I am going to do now is John and I will go and see our dad and aunt and have dinner with them at a restaurant and have a great time. First time in over 22 years that I will be spending thanksgiving with my side of the family and not my BF.
About time don't you think. I do and so does John especially since he has that day and evening off for a change. I am looking forward to this visit.
I started a new project, a new customer order today, a new teddy bear and I have an order for a cow and a pig. So I will start these ones next week. I still trying to finalise the finishing of the lab coat for the teddy bear first but I need to go to the craft store for some buttons. I don't have any I thought I had some but can't find them. Oh well a trip to the stores will do me good tomorrow I need to get out and get some fresh air.
Today I stay inside cause I had very little sleep last night and I am suffering from allergies today and the air quality in not the greatest today.
Anyways now that it is raining and I have fresh air coming in I am feeling better and can breath again.
I hope and pray that you all are doing well and that you are having a great day. I wish you all a very Happy Thanks giving weekend for all the Canadians and I wish the rest of my dear sparkers and fantastic weekend as well.
I had to reinstall Internet Explorer today cause it shut down on me on my knitting sites and on my patterns when I was attempting to print them out. I try to down load some coupons but couldn't cause of java script and internet problems. Reinstated and still have same problems.
So I am now attempting to try Mozilla again while I am on Sparks and on my knitting sites. Let see if tomorrow is any better.
At least I fixed my printer and now can print off my resumes and some of my own patterns that I have in word.
I am happy about that.
Here are some pictures to you to smile at:
I call him Eyore
I just finish this Giraffe tonight.
and the teddy bear. I just need to sew on the buttons and do up a name tag and maybe add a navy tie to the bear.
What do you think MOMMA-LITTLE.
Do you like him or would you like a different teddy bear. I have lots of free time and I can make some changes.
It is so nice to be able to go out the front door of our apartment and go for a walk outside. The sidewalk is now finish and look great, not tripping over lose concrete and rocks. It was a gorgeous day out to day and my walk went great. Cleared the mind and now I am more focus on things I need to do.
I am back to sleeping only four hours again and wanted to have a nap so badly today but I didn't. I need my sleep tonight and I will be going to bed in one hour which will make it 11pm. If I am not asleep by 12am I will be taking a half of a sleeping aid.
Tomorrow is a busy day. I need to go to shoppers Drug Mart or London Drugs to get more hair dye, get my fringe cut, go to the dress makers and see if they can hem up my pants for me cause my sewing machine is broken and I don't sew very well. I also need to find out the cost of getting three pairs of black dress pants taken in at the waist. If I afford it I will get them done if not I will be wearing baggy pants when I go for an interview hopefully sometime soon.
Well I can't think of anything else to say so I will leave it here for now.
In the three hours that I was on sparks today I managed to get my sparking done. I did however cancelled some threads that are not being used and it was taking up to much time opening them up and seeing what was written.
I am cleaning up my computer, my workspace and my bedroom tomorrow and Saturday. Monday is our thanksgiving here in BC so I will be spending the evening with my BF's family and cousin for dinner if they are having one. Still haven't heard. It will be strange not to have Nana there but she will be there in spirit.