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My Latest Creation!

Monday, July 30, 2012

I like to introduce you to my newest design. I finished it late last night as I couldn't sleep. So knitting it up seems like an easy solution to my worries. It felt good just to sit in peace and knit, I didn't even have the TV on, just silence all around me.
This is just what I needed,
So without further introductions here's

"Ellie"



She sit about 10 inches tall and I think very cute. I love her big ears and her soft colours.

Today was another lazy day, didn't much except for Sparking, watching the Olympics and more knitting. I finished another Sockmonkey, now I am planning on making her a chef's coat and hat.

One more UFO project finished. Tomorrow I hope to have my energy back so that I can get my housework done, my laundry and cleaning up my room, maybe get out for a bit and get in some much needed groceries.

My chest is still feeling heavy as well as my heart and mind. I just pray that things turns around for the better for us.

Right now I am just focusing on myself and no one else. I need to put everything aside and just heal my mind, body and soul.

We all need to do this once in awhile.

I hope you all have had a great weekend and a great upcoming week.

Thanks for all your hugs and prayers.

Sandraland out.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OVERACTIVEELBOW 8/1/2012 1:34PM

    emoticon emoticon
One step at a time. Remember to truly forgive yourself for any mis-step you perceive you have made. And, remember it was not the first oops and most surely will not be the last. Isn't it great to be human and not perfect?
Audra

Comment edited on: 8/1/2012 1:35:18 PM

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BOVEY63 7/31/2012 1:45PM

    Your creation is absolutely adorable - I love it!!!
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Praying that you get all the healing you need.
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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/30/2012 8:49PM

    Ellie is so cute and I love her soft colors!!! You come up with the neatest ideas!!!
Happy to hear that you are going to focus on you right now!!! Keeping you in my prayers.
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JUNEAU2010 7/30/2012 8:18PM

    ellie is very, veru cute!

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IAMDESSIE 7/30/2012 6:40PM

    emoticon she is cute. You do it so well.

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BEEJAY49 7/30/2012 5:09PM

    That is so adorable! :) Thank you for sharing!

You are still in my prayers! HUGS!

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MYSTERY-LADY1 7/30/2012 4:58PM

    emoticon

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CINDHOLM 7/30/2012 4:06PM

    Your pink elephant is SO sweet!!! emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 7/30/2012 10:52AM

    So cute!!
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TRAVELISMYGAME 7/30/2012 9:36AM

    Ellie is adorable! You do such great work!

Sorry that you are having a rough time right now. Taking a step back and putting yourself first sounds like exactly what you need to do. I'll keep you in my prayers!

Tiffany

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TUFFYBIRD 7/30/2012 9:30AM

    Ellie is very cute - but then I always like your creations. I hope your mood and situation improves too.

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SAMMIE-I-AM 7/30/2012 9:20AM

    Cute I love it!!

BTW this is SGKAYLOR, just made a new page so I have a new name

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LASKIE2 7/30/2012 6:57AM

    I love Ellie! She's so cute with her big ears!

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MALEXANDER4 7/30/2012 6:57AM

    Ellie is wonderful. But then you always create beautiful things. Keep a stiff upper lip and know that we are praying for you.

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LASKIE2 7/30/2012 6:57AM

    I love Ellie! She's so cute with her big ears!

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GOANNA2 7/30/2012 6:14AM

    Thinking of you and praying that you can heal . We all need some time
to ourselves and i'm glad that you can do that. Ellie is beautiful.
Again I have to say that you have a wonderful talent. Good luck. emoticon emoticon

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SAFETYSUE 7/30/2012 4:24AM

    Sandra, I am glad you found some peace and quiet enjoying you amazing talent! I love Elli, I would love one for my new granddaughter born yesterday!
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_LINDA 7/30/2012 1:47AM

    So glad you are putting yourself first Sandra! That is exactly what you need to do before you stress yourself into illness!
Ellie is too sweet -great idea with the pastel colours!!
Enjoy the Olympics, its what I am spending a lot of time watching :)
Go, Canada, GO!
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Feel better Sandra, thinking of you,
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BUTEAFULL 7/30/2012 1:34AM

    those ears would also work for a mouse like Angelina ballerina

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DEEJON123 7/30/2012 1:15AM

    very cute, but I must say I like the picture of the 2 kitties more! They are adorable!

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DJ4HEALTH 7/30/2012 12:42AM

    it is so cute!!

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A Very Lazy Day!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Well I went to bed on time last night and still I coundn't get to sleep. I think I fell asleep around 4 or 5 this morning and woke up around 9 to the load sounds of Caribean music playing outside.

I had to get up and close all the windows and still you could hear the load music. I look out the living room window and there was a truck dress up for the parade today playing the load music and a few people dancing on the side walk.

don't know what the celebration was for but there was a small parade going on at 1o up the street from me.

I went back to lie down with ear plugs to block out the sound. Didn't work very well.

So for the rest of the day I of course felt sluggish, so I sparked for a bit and knitted for a bit. Watch some of the Olympic.

Well time to shut things down and go lie down again.

UGH! I hate feeling like crap. My sinuses and draining down the back of my throat and into my chest now. It feels like a herd of Elephants are sitting on my chest and I am now starting to cough up so phelm.

That is good I think, best to get it all out.

Have a good night. Hugs.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/30/2012 8:45PM

    Hope you were able to get some restful sleep and are feeling better today!!! Praying for you that you are soon back to 100%,
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

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JUNEAU2010 7/29/2012 11:41AM

    I had a lazy day, too! Right now watching Olympic boxing - CAN just won and now GBR has won. Chores soon!

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NATPLUMMER 7/29/2012 10:23AM

    emoticon

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TUFFYBIRD 7/29/2012 10:18AM

    I'm a day late in seeing this - I hope you're feeling better by now.

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BYEFATNANNY 7/29/2012 9:08AM

    Hope you are feeling better today and got a good rest.

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MALEXANDER4 7/29/2012 6:49AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GOANNA2 7/29/2012 5:50AM

    Hope you got some rest. emoticon emoticon

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SAFETYSUE 7/29/2012 3:44AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DEE107 7/29/2012 12:09AM

    hugs my friend praying for you and your family

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NEPTUNE1939 7/28/2012 11:00PM

    your on my prayer list! emoticon Earl

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CINDHOLM 7/28/2012 10:51PM

    Hope you feel better soon!! emoticon

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Venting and trying not to blow up!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Well as I sit here writing this blog I am watching the opening ceremonies of the 2012 Olympic. Nothing else is on TV right now except for re-runs and shows that I don't care for.

I usually tape the opening and closing ceremonies and watch them later but I am enjoying watching it tonight.

This past week has been another up hill battle for me in many ways.

I am still struggling with this allergies/sinus and now lunge issue and it is getting a lot worse. There is no answer right now for what is making me feel so sick. More test will be run next week. Right now I am trying to rest as much as I can while still working and trying to make rent and pay my other bills.

I am continuing to knit it up and make new items for my Web site. I must get back to it and update it. I have not for a few months now. I need to stay on top of it more often to get more orders and get things going again.

As of right now I have no new orders so I am finishing up some old items that I have started awhile ago and get this stash finished.

Right now I am working on a new Elephant and a new 20 inch Dinosaur and then finishing up a Chef Sock Monkey with a chef's hat and coat.

In my UFO stash I have yet to complete the Wallace and Gromit series of dolls and animals. I still have to sew up a new Scooby Doo, the pieces are all crochet but still needs to be stuffed and sewn together. I also have a couple of Santa's and Elves to finished that I started last year but never finished because life events had gotten in the way.

So you can see I have a lot of knitting, crocheting and sewing left to do so I will be busy with my fingers. All this I can do while watching some of my favorite Olympic events and shows.

Right now I have stopped exercising but I haven't stopped my walking. Walking is all the I am capable of doing right now.

I have started a new food plan so that I can get stronger and healthier and get this excess weight off.

I got on the scale this morning and found myself up another five pounds, that is a total of ten pounds now that I have gained in the last few weeks or so.

I am shocked, totally confused as to why.

I know you all will write and say that it is stress, being sick, not sleeping right, et.

I don't think that is the answer for I have stayed within my calories and have not gotten over except for one day a week where I have treated myself with a special snack and those calories only added up an extra 300 calories a week.

I have burnt the right amount of calories per day to stay with in the range. I have looked at all my charts here on Sparks and on my other exercising site. These charts and grafts tells me that my weight should be at my goal or maybe one or two pounds more not ten.

My brother is still not looking for work and I really don't think he will ever look for work. Today, this morning and this afternoon when I got off from work all we did was argued, I am so sick of this and his laziness.

I won't go into details but let me just say this when he started his vent I just sat there in the truck and didn't say a word. There was no need to rehash things over and over and over again.

What I did say to him, was that I am tired, sick and can't deal with this right now. Let me get into the apartment change, have some lunch( it is 2:30 and breakfast was at 7am this morning, have a short rest. Then we can sit a talk about it.

He stormed off to his room, came out and wanted dinner. I had already started a Beef Caccitore with spaghetti.

The garbage is still piles up in the corner of the hallway and it stinks, He hasn't clean the fish tank and we are now down to four fish. We started out with more than 20 last year. Poor fish are dying because of his lack of cleaning and laziness. I will not clean the tank been told not to touch it or feed them. I don't.

He now expects me to pay for his gas bill for his truck and car because he drives me to work three or four time a week and brings me back. Each trip is only ten to fifteen minute ride depending on traffic and rush hour.

His last receipt that he handed me was over $90.00. If I buy a bus pass for the month it comes to about $80.00. So I know he using the truck or car more than what he tells me.

I refused to pay it all, I will pay my share and that it that.

He is also mad that he had to drive to the car home without me today and take mom to the Hospital for her Ultra Sound. They are checking out her Gallbladder, Kidneys and other areas of her stomach. They are also doing blood test.

I had order Handi dart for them so that John doesn't have to put mom in the truck, the car is not working(dead battery or something). Handi Dart will take them to the Hospital and bring them back once these test are done.

Then John can come and pick me up on his way back home. I am on the same route that we drive to mom's and back. All he needs to do is drive into the parking lot, wait for me to come out and then drive home.

So on the way home I got an ear full, For fifteen minute all he did was vent, He told me he how he was feeling and that it was not fair that HE has to do it all.

What, are you nuts. WE are doing it together and yes our sister, dad and Aunt are not pitching in to help, they after all live a great distance from us and from mom.

He now says he has had enough and doesn't want to do any more.

So I guess it is all up to me to do EVERYTHING NOW!!!!.

I told him I give up just do was the ***** you want to do but don't come running to me and complain to me. Get a job, do something around the house cause I am fed up as well and Will not look after him any more, pick up after him et.

I am soooooo FED up. I can't even have my space anymore or a few minutes to myself unless I go to my room to read or to knit. Can't watch TV cause the picture tub has gone and I have ask him to put mom's old TV in my Room.

Now that I have vented and I haven't really blown up yet with John, I want to scream at him, shake him to the core but I didn't instead I use my knitting needles and knitted for two hours straight. I feel better,

I feel better now that I have written this out on page and can see what is weighing heavily on me. This must be the added 10 pounds that I have gained.

There is no use to explain to John how I feel, I have done that so many times as has he so many times, more than I.

This conversation is getting old and tiring.

I also found out that he has been reading my blogs here.

I found out by accident that if you click on to a message from anyone of you my email
that it automatically goes to this page and all you have to do is scroll down and read what I have written. So much for privacy.

Even though my email and spark is password protected you can still click on to your mail site, click onto any message that appears and it will take you to that page.

I wish there was some way that you need a password for you mail messages to appear.

I hope you know what I mean, I have a hard time sometimes describing things.

Any ways I must go now he is coming out of his room and I don't want him to read this.

You can leave a message here cause maybe if he does sneak and read this he will fully understand the frustration and anger that I feel towards things.

I am frustrated with his actions or lack of then and his venting.

We need to stick together and help each other.

I can't afford to live on my own, he can't afford the live on his own with no income coming. He won't leave and I won't force him to leave. Everything here is in my name.

You know I want to move but not like this and not on my own and getting a roommate can be challenging and I don't want to go there.

I also am dealing with other issues concerning my ex and I am not ready to tell it here, Not yet anyways.

I still love him and wish him well. I still think of him every singe day and can't stop thinking about him. I know he isn't thinking of me.

I just can't turn off these thoughts and feeling.

I can't talk to anyone in my family about him or my friends cause I don't have any but the ones that I have met here. I can't talk to any one at work cause the are work buddies and not friends yet.

In the meantime I have the next three days off to think things through and to try and come up with some new solutions that is manageable.

If it turns out to be nice and sunny I will go out for a walk by myself just to get away from the apartment and to get in some fresh air.

I just don't know what to do any more so I will emoticonI can't give up and I have to find a better way.


Thanks for reading this and thanks for caring about me and giving me your continual support.

Well I guess I should go to bed now and try to get some sleep. I only got in two hours of sleep last night so my emotions are running amuck.

Makes total sense now as to why I am feeling this way about my life and my situation.

I know after a long solid night of sleep and a good healthy breakfast tomorrow I should feel a lot better.

If only I can shut down this brain of mine.

Good night!


PS

One reason that I won't blow up on my brother is because of his reaction. I don't know what he will do. He does have a temper I have seen him use it on others but he has never used it on me.

I won't take that chance with him or anyone. I have been badly hurt before

Enough said.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/30/2012 12:11AM

    Oh my Sandra. That is just way too much stress!!! I just hope you are doing well and that John understands where you are coming from. Know that you and John are both on my daily prayers list.
I am here for you any time!!!
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

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_LINDA 7/28/2012 11:07PM

    Oh Sandra :((( So very sorry things are piled up on you like this :(( Don't know that you can do anything about your lazy brother, but let him stew in his own mess and don't pick up after him or cook for him. Why should you? He is old enough to fend for himself. Sorry about the fish tank, that is bad he won't even look after that :(
You are strong enough and smart enough to get through this. You are an amazing woman, and you must put your needs first seeing how you are the primary wage earner there. That is your right.
Between the allergies and stress, I know you won't be sleeping well if it all, but do what you can to relax and take your mind off things before you to try to go to bed.
Thinking of you and wishing there was something I could do to help..
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MYSTERY-LADY1 7/28/2012 6:54PM

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KENDRACARROLL 7/28/2012 6:40PM

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JUNEAU2010 7/28/2012 4:46PM

    emoticon emoticon
Take care of you. Time to be uber selfish and take care of you. John should be very grateful that you have not tossed him out on his ear and he should show that appreciation by helping you, especially given your health issues. My BF does not work, so I have very similar circumstances...

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NATPLUMMER 7/28/2012 11:38AM

    emoticon

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WANT2BHEALTHY60 7/28/2012 10:06AM

    Have you had any exams for hypothyroidism. Even a little low can run havoc with your system. Look at the thyroid team here at spark.
I have a brother like that too, and am so glad I live in another country now.
In other words I sympathize.


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ARCHIMEDESII 7/28/2012 7:27AM

    You certainly have been having a stressful time !

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Talk to your doctor about any weight gain you've had these last few weeks. Have you been on any medications because of your breathing or allergy problems ? There are many medications that can cause a person to put on weight even though they are eating normally.

I have many friends who gained weight when they changed their birth control. They were eating normally. what happened ? Their bodies started to retain water. This could be happening to you too. You may well be retaining water.

There really is only so much you can do. Being a care giver for a parent isn't an easy thing. You do the best you can.



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CINDHOLM 7/28/2012 6:10AM

    emoticon

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MALEXANDER4 7/28/2012 5:56AM

    emoticonThis is all I will give at this time. You don't need to hear any more. Breathe my friend just breathe.

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BEEJAY49 7/28/2012 5:43AM

    I hope you got a good nights sleep, you certainly need it. I don't know what email program you use, but can't you log out of it after you're finished, then you can use your password to log back in so he can't get to it.
I know what it's like to pretty much have to do it all mostly when it comes to aging or sick parents, it's not fun and is so very stressful.
I know it's hard to get a job now days but if he would even get something small to help out with the bills and at least his own gas, that would be great and I'll pray on that and pray for you!
Keep venting, it helps! Love you! HUGS!

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GOANNA2 7/28/2012 3:27AM

    Oh Sandra. You have so much going on right now. I am glad you were able to vent and get some of the feelings out. We are here to support you. John is being very unfair to you. Get a good night's sleep. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Three Year Sparkversary!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Wow thanks for all the goodies and the lovely messages that I received today. I can't believe that three years has passed since I started this new weight loss and healthy journey.

I have met so many wonderful friends over the years and I have learned so many new and wonderful things to get fit and healthy and to stay healthy.

I was so hoping tostill be at my weight goal but unfortunately I have gained about five pounds back on due to my migraines and injuries.

I have not been exercising like I should be and I have been eating rather poorly.

This will change now that I am feeling better and I am gaining strength back.

Today I finally woke up with no headache or any pain what so ever. I still feel a bit tired but that is normal with having a migraines. It will take a few more day to get this tiredness out of me.

At least I have been sleeping good and I hope it will continue tonight.

I got a few more extra hours next week and that will help a bit.

Thanks again and I hope you all have a great evening and a great week.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAFETYSUE 7/30/2012 4:30AM

    Happy third Sparkversary! You are an inspiration Sandra!
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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/28/2012 12:14AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
So glad you are feeling better and hopefully you will continue to get some good sleep and rest.
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 7/27/2012 2:01PM

    emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 7/26/2012 10:54PM

    emoticon emoticon
Glad you feel better!

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DEE107 7/26/2012 10:50PM

    congrads and hope you feel better

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BUTEAFULL 7/26/2012 5:51PM

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MAGA99 7/26/2012 2:20PM

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BOVEY63 7/26/2012 2:15PM

    Happy 3rd Sparkversary! I am so glad you joined because you have become a wonderful friend!
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Happy to hear that you're feeling better!
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TUFFYBIRD 7/26/2012 1:08PM

    Wow ... 3 years, emoticon

As far as the 5 pounds goes - you'll take care of them in no time.

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CINDHOLM 7/26/2012 12:20PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LILYGAL 7/26/2012 11:17AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 7/26/2012 11:04AM

    emoticon

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MALEXANDER4 7/26/2012 7:35AM

    emoticonYou go girl.

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LOPEYP 7/26/2012 6:38AM

    happy emoticon!

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SWAZY33 7/26/2012 6:13AM

    Congrats on your emoticon

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BEEJAY49 7/26/2012 3:27AM

    Happy Sparkiversary! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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_LINDA 7/26/2012 2:03AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Happy, happy Sparkaversary!!
So glad you are feeling better and can now get back on track!!
Was so very glad to have met you on my Spark journey!!
Sleep well my friend
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TAMPATINK67 7/26/2012 1:09AM

    Happy Anniversary! emoticon

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Feeling Slightly Better But Still So Very Tired!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Wow for the last two days all I did was sleep, drink water and rested on the bed while watching some TV. I stayed in my room all day yesterday and only came out today because my TV in my room is not working any more.

So now if I want to watch any of my shows John can go into his room and watch TV.

I won't be buying a new TV any time soon, It is not a top priority, rent and the bills that needs to be pay more important.

So I am writing a short blog tonight to catch you all up, Missed sparking these last two days but I needed to rest and get rid of these migraines. My sinuses are still plugged and painful but I rather deal with that than have a nasty migraine.

If I am not better by tomorrow I will be seeking medical help to see if I have a sinus infection. I hope not.

Well time to go back to bed for I am still so dreadfully tired and can't focus on anything any more.

I wish you all go night and hope and pray you all have a great week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAFETYSUE 7/30/2012 4:27AM

    Hope you are feeling better very soon!
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MYSTERY-LADY1 7/27/2012 6:16PM

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LILLI56 7/26/2012 2:06AM

    Sorry you aren't feeling good. Have you ever tried a Nettie Pot for sinus congestion? I get migraines and a lot of the time it starts with clogged sinuses. It really helps me. Another thing to help is to use a little peppermint oil on your temples. Not to much because it burns your eyes, but that also helps me.

Hope you get over this really soon.


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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/26/2012 12:49AM

    Sure hope you are feeling better and continue getting some much needed rest and sleep.
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DEE107 7/25/2012 11:22PM

    hugs and hope you are feeling better today

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JUNEAU2010 7/25/2012 9:10PM

    Migraines are so draining, I'm not surprised you're tired! Feel better soon!

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MYSTERY-LADY1 7/25/2012 8:35PM

    emoticon

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KATIEKAT475 7/25/2012 2:34PM

    Hope you get to feeling better soon! hugs, praying for you! emoticon

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CINDHOLM 7/25/2012 1:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 7/25/2012 9:49AM

    emoticon Glad you're getting some rest.
I had a migraine on Monday that was replaced by a sinus headache yesterday so I totally feel you.

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TUFFYBIRD 7/25/2012 9:16AM

    I hope you're feeling better soon! Migraines knock me flat - sometimes for 2 or 3 days at a time, so I know what your going through. emoticon

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LOVESLIFE48 7/25/2012 9:12AM

    Feel better soon my friend. My son gets migraines. I used to get them. The are horrible. Hugs to you!! emoticon emoticon

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TRAVELISMYGAME 7/25/2012 9:08AM

    Sorry that you aren't feeling well. A couple things that have really helped keep me healthier is taking Vitamin C and Zinc daily. My doc has me on 1000mg of Vitamin C and 50mg of Zinc along with my allergy (Zyrtec) pill. Might want to see what your doc thinks!

Tiffany

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LILYGAL 7/25/2012 9:04AM

    Sandra, I just wanted to tell you about my DD. She was having terrible headaches/sinus issues. Then she started having teeth problems. She went to her dentist and he told her that she needed to have her wisdom teeth (top) removed. He told her that her sinus issues would clear up. And they did. She has not had a headache or sinus infection since. Maybe????

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MALEXANDER4 7/25/2012 8:03AM

    Hope you feel better soon. emoticon emoticon

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BEEJAY49 7/25/2012 3:21AM

    Feel better soon! HUGS!

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_LINDA 7/25/2012 1:50AM

    So very sorry you are feeling so awful :(( What a double whammy! Keeping fingers crossed you don't have a sinus infection.
I had to take an allegra because the high winds brought my neighbour's smoke in so bad I was having difficulty breathing :(
Don't know if I will sleep much. Could never lay down when I was so badly stuffed up.
Hoping for a better tomorrow!
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CUINPARADISE 7/25/2012 1:44AM

    Hoping you'll feel better very soon!
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TURTLERAE55 7/25/2012 1:38AM

    emoticon
Keep up the good work.

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