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Time has flown by

Monday, September 29, 2014

I can't believe it's fall already. Time has just flown by lately. As usual for me this time of year is extremely busy with work. One thing I'm doing differently--I REFUSE to not be a priority. The only way I can keep up with work and all the other responsibilities is to carve out time for me.

I've been attending pilates classes at least 2 times per week for the last 2 months. Sometimes these are regular pilates classes and sometimes they are Lagree pilates, which is a higher paced, cardio and strength training pilates. I think the workout calculators for pilates are a bit off. They don't take into account the higher intensity classes or moves and they don't really seem like they give us enough credit for working out when we choose pilates. I break a sweat with every class. I get sore muscles nearly every class. I think the workouts I'm getting are a great strength training workout. The more resistance we use (typically I'm 2 reds and a yellow, sometimes a blue) the more we are working.

Anyway--I'm not posting a whole lot on here--but I am reading and learning and I am active. Most importantly, I am physically active. Whoohoo!

As the holidays come closer and closer, I hope to finally lose 15-20 pounds. I'm working on it all the time. And no matter what--I know that by being more physically active, I'm doing a world of good for myself.

Keep sparking everyone!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOLABUG79 10/1/2014 9:32AM

    Congrats on the pilates, keep it up.

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LESLIELENORE 9/29/2014 5:44PM

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Recovering yet again

Monday, July 14, 2014

2 weeks ago, I underwent an extraction of the tooth that has been problematic for the past year. I underwent a complex root canal and had a cap placed after a complex cleaning, several rounds of antibiotics for an infection at the root level that had also entered the bone. All of these treatments failed and during the complex cleaning (use of laser treatment included), my cap came off. This was a permanent cap, so it wasn't supposed to do that. After more x-rays and much discussion, it appeared the infection had come back. It was decided the best thing to do now to heal this once and for all was to pull the tooth.

I was informed it would take about 15 minutes to pull the tooth, I'd be on antibiotics again for another couple of weeks and I'd be in some discomfort. All sounded ok to me.

I showed up for my appointment, finally ready after a year of repeated infections and problems, to get this tooth out of me. Clearly it's been causing me problems and I just wanted to be well. Now, please know that I do brush my teeth regularly, use mouth wash, floss all those good things. Somehow, this tooth just basically started dying and we don't know why.

They numbed me up pretty good that morning and explained again that it should only take about 15 minutes to extract the tooth. After 15 minutes of pulling and tugging and pushing on my jaw, the doc said, hang on we need to stop. Great, I thought...what now? At the same time, my TMJ flared up badly and I could no longer keep my jaw open. So they started massing my jaws for me and got a bite block. The doc came back in and said, this tooth will not come out as simply or easily as we thought. You appear to have 2 roots that are joined making it impossible to just wiggle the tooth out. The plan--drilling down the tooth to expose the roots so they could be cut.

After more numbing and lots of prayers on my end. The drilling began and for the next hour, I felt like I was in my own personal hell. The drilling, that high pitched squealing whine was insane. The smell of burnt tooth was disgusting. The pressure on my jaw was nearly unbearable.

1 hour and 15 minutes later, that problem tooth came out. The doctor flushed the pocket with antibiotics and said, it's out now and hopefully you'll heal with minimal problems. You will be in pain and so we'll help with that.

I thought--ok....I can handle all of this! It's over. I'm going to be well and I'm going to be healthier than I've been in the past year.

Sadly, that night as everything wore off---the pain became excrutiatingly unbearable. I was in tears. Now crying when your head already feels like it's been drilled to nothing and squeezed in a vice grip is not recommended. The pressure that builds up when you cry just added to the throbbing and pulsating pain in my jaw. My husband nearly took me to the ER.

Mercifully, I somehow passed out and was able to sleep for a couple of hours. What followed was 2 weeks of the worst nerve pain I've ever had. I have DDD in my entire spine and lots of issues with that so I'm not a stranger to pain. This facial nerve pain was the worst ever. Seriously...unbearable.

Whenever I bend over, my tooth begins to thump and throb. If I sneeze or bear down or do anything that even slightly raises my blood pressure--my tooth begins to thumb and throb.

I cannot even exercise right now. I've tried and it just makes the pain go through the roof. And there are only so many pain pills I'm willing to take. And once you realize, those pain pills aren't touching the pain---why take them?

It's been a year of hell with repeated infections and just feeling worn out. I think I hoped that after the tooth was gone, I'd somehow magically be well again and feeling great.

That hasn't been the case. I hope today, at the follow up, they can give me an idea of when this throbbing will stop.

I'm also going to try walking again today. Perhaps I'll be able to walk a short bit without the throbbing.

I know that no matter what, I'll get through everything thrown my way. I may not be achieving the results I wanted in the time line I wanted---but I'm not about to give up. I know that the pain is temporary and that I'll be able to work out again soon. I know I can eat healthy meals and at least keep the diet clean until then.

No matter what---I'll persevere.

My blog isn't about wanting or needing sympathy. Although, I'll admit the first few days after the procedure, I wanted to be babied and cuddled and I wanted my mommy like I've never wanted her before.

My blog is about reminding myself that challenges come in all sizes, shapes and in a variety of ways. My challenge this past year has been my health. And what I've realized is that unless i take charge and make changes and put my foot down on getting healthy--I will forever struggle with my weight.

It isn't about making anyone but me happy. It's about me. I've struggled, but no more than other people I know. I have pain--but it's nothing compared to what others deal with.

I'm going to do this. It's going to take longer than I wanted...but that's ok. As long as I keep moving forward, I'm happy.

Keep moving forward matter what!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LESLIELENORE 8/3/2014 11:41PM


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BIGPAWSUP 7/14/2014 3:32PM

    You are amazing. You can do all of this and you will be awesome on the other side.

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JLAMING263 7/14/2014 3:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Thursday, June 26, 2014

Last June, I had a severely infected tooth, underwent a root canal, months of antibiotics and a crown. Six months later the infection came back. I underwent another dental procedure to help....sadly I found out two weeks ago, there's another abscess forming at the roots. We now gave to pull the tooth, clean the pocket and undergo bone morsel implants in preparation for an eventual dental implant.

Why does it seem like every time I make progress on anything, something happens and I'm set back?

I know losing weight will help in so many ways. But I try and fail over and over. I want to know what I'm doing wrong. Ugh

Life isn't always easy and I know that. I also know that this slump will be over soon and I'll be back on track again. One bright spot....not being able to chew for a few days should help.

Plugging away as usual.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OKGOATGAL 7/8/2014 11:58PM

  We all have these times. It has taken me 2 years to lose 15 pounds. Because I like, no, I am addicted to sugar. I do many things right, but it is so hard to not eat sugary stuff even though I know it isn't healthy. As long as you keep on keeping on you are not failing.

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BONNIEMARGAY 6/27/2014 12:52PM

    Rats. Wishing you relief.

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GERIKRAGH 6/27/2014 10:31AM

    You are not failing. In spite of the setbacks, you haven't given up. You are slowly moving forward. You are accomplishments.

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BIGPAWSUP 6/27/2014 7:21AM

    You can do this. Best of luck on the tooth.

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Gearing up....again

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Two weeks ago, I came down with a cold. After it progressed to a cough and possible respiratory involvement, I went to the doc. He indicated I had a bad virus. Not much for me to do other than rest, drink lots of water, rest, rest, rest and eliminate as much stress as possible.

In my head, I said all of this to my doctor.

What I actually said was, how? How do I not stress out? I'm the primary bread winner in the household. I work full-time, plus I have a part-time job and I take on project work as well. In addition, I am studying so I can get two additional credentials, which will improve my value in my career and my earning potential.

He then, in rather too much detail, discussed what was physically happening to me as result of too little sleep, too much stress and a diet that is not as healthy as it could be.

He reminded me that my entire body is affected by stress. The long hours I put in, the stress, the not sleeping or eating well, are now OFFICIALLY taking a toll on me. If I don't change things, I will simply get sick again.

Stress is insidious, we all know this, yet we don't always make necessary changes to help reduce stress levels.

In the last month, I've had quite a few reminders that I need to buckle down and GET THIS. I need to lose weight. I need to continue cleaning up my diet, get rest, start reducing stress.

So, what's my plan? I'm working on it. I don't have it all figured out. But I do know, I am doing the following:

1. Eating at home (or home-cooked/packed meals) whenever possible.
2. Getting more sleep.
3. Turning off computers, tablets, Nook by 10pm each night. (this is the hardest)
4. Not checking my phone in the middle of the night when I get up.
5. Increasing my physical activities.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BDYNAMIC 6/9/2014 9:13PM

    I do not think I would take the Doctor's advice lightly ............ And I may not be the best one to talk to .............. As I esp at this place in life am BIG on the word DELEGATE ............. In other words .......... I would not tax myself to the point of collapse or losing sleep ..... etc. IF it were me, I would look at what thing I could DUMP overboard ............ and do whatever it takes to NOT get sick again ............ And I might put the Nook and computer etc. on vacation until further notice .......... A lot of things that take our time are unnecessary ............... emoticon

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GIMMESPARK 6/8/2014 2:26PM

    Thanks for your encouragement on my "RockStar" wall post. I thought I'd check out your page and see we've got a lot in common--not the least of which is stress, stress, and more stress! I'm on Week 1 of SP's Official Stress Busting Challenge... Will let you know how that goes.

In the meantime, as a Harley-loving single mom (read: sole breadwinner) of a teenager, I feel a bit of your pain and am pulling for you!

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PATTYKLAVER 6/8/2014 6:47AM

    Yes, I've felt this way and gotten the speech. I haven't quite figured out how I am going to do it. I am proud of you that you have a plan.

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LESLIELENORE 6/7/2014 8:59PM

    emoticon Stress is a difficult thing to reduce.

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GERIKRAGH 6/7/2014 8:45PM

    Did you tell the doctor you'd give up one job if he would sponsor your rent?

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BIGPAWSUP 6/7/2014 8:01PM

    You can do this. I'm in a similar boat to you. We are in this TOGETHER.

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RENATA144 6/7/2014 7:51PM

  emoticon for the emoticon Educational blog. emoticon
P.S. - how did you get my photo !?!? Jest kidding !!! emoticon

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Sunday, May 18, 2014

This week, I'm focusing on mindfulness. Being mindful of what I eat, how much I eat, how I feel when I eat. If I'm eating without being hungry and why.

What I have learned recently, or perhaps have always known, is that I eat too fast. Studies show those who eat faster consume nearly twice the calories of those who eat more slowly. Hence, the reason for focusing on mindfulness.

I frequently eat while working, which means, I eat in front of a computer. I know this isn't good as the concept of mindfulness disappears when you eat with distractions.

I received a really great article on this subject and I'm sharing the link with everyone. I think this whole process involves learning how to eat, when to eat, what to eat, how much. Learning how to exercise more efficiently and more often. Learning who I am and learning to love who I am.

I had a really awful moment this weekend as we celebrated my husband's great niece's first communion and his great nephew's 4th birthday. We were at a Boomers (kiddie rides, bumper cars, games, miniature golf). The kiddos wanted to go on the ferris wheel. I love ferris wheels so I was all for it. Unfortunately as they attempted to put the bar across my husband and I, the bar was pushing so tightly against my stomach it actually hurt my bladder and I think it left a bruise. Now this ferris wheel is a small (think street fair) ferris wheel as compared to the 10 story massive ferris wheels. Regardless, what a humiliating moment and it was more than an a-ha moment. Never before have I had a problem with any rides. And while I'm overweight, I'm not that large that this ride should be a problem. Yet, sadly, it was. The worst part about yesterday is that I have NOT gained weight in the past 8 months, in fact, I've lost a couple of pounds.

Here's the link to the mindful eating article.


Another thing I'm working on starting this week involves journaling and reading through a workbook I found. It's called "The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Weight Management" by Michele Laliberte, PH.D., Randi E McCabe, PH.D., Valerie Taylor, MD, PH.D. This book is a step-by-step program to help:

1. Prepare for successful and lasting change
2. Design a personal eating and exercise plan
3. Manage difficult emotional and interpersonal challenges
4. Develop a healthy relationship with your body
5. Maintain progress and deal with relapses

I want to succeed so badly, I'm willing to do just about anything. It's just so hard to be "on it" 100% of the time. I know I need to be focused 100% of the time, but I'm not.

I will continue moving forward and continue making my changes as I go. I will continue working on my goal until I succeed.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RENATA144 6/7/2014 7:52PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Mindfulness to me is focusing on the contents of the mind which is projected outwards onto the world.

It is difficult being 100% of the time when one is distracted by fears and guilt. We all are! And yes it takes determination. You said you were willing to do anything, right? So, I would recommend that you do do anything which includes not going off program for any reason. Consistency is success!

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SWEDE_SU 6/7/2014 7:50AM

    emoticon emoticon l

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SATCHMO99 6/7/2014 6:53AM

    So great to hear you are learning about mindful eating. I also eat too fast (the only way to get "seconds" habit from when I was growing up).

There's a very simple tool that anyone can use. Get a piece of washable cord and tie it around your waist so that you can still sit down with it in place (it's best of you are aware of it though). Knot the cord. You'll notice if the cord gets tight - eat less. You'll notice if the cord gets loose - hurray.

The reason it's washable is because you don't take it off.

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BESSHAILE 6/7/2014 6:28AM

    Ahhh. If blind robotic eating is one of your issues (ask me how I know what that's like) You also might like the book "I can make you thin" by Paul McKenna. His focus is all about really being there. His mantra is SO good.

eat when you're hungry
eat what you want
savor every bite
quit when yo u're full.

well - easy, right. And if he's so great why am I on Spark People?

Because I draw help to me from wherever I can find it. No body or place has it all.

We are constantly growing and learning - how to do better, how to sabotage what we do well. how to overcome our own worst habits.

anyway - you might like this book a lot. I did.

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2BDYNAMIC 5/20/2014 10:36PM

    Hi--I'm on the Strong-United team too and haven't really met you so HELLO ...... emoticon and I hope to get acquainted! ........... Good thoughts ......... eating can get away from us when we are in front of the tube for one! ......... (Mindless munching) ........... (been there; done that) ............. GOOD luck w/ al you do ........... Here for you ............... Jan ........ otherwise known as 2B ............

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LESLIELENORE 5/19/2014 6:00PM

    Actually I don't think expecting 100% is reasonable. Perfectionism is dangerous. I know when I accept that I will fail on occasion I am happier. I just have to pick myself up after slipping and make the next right choice.

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BIGPAWSUP 5/18/2014 10:09PM

    I KNOW you can handle this. You can do this. You can move forward. I believe in you.

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 5/18/2014 9:24PM

    You can do it! I'm sorry you had that experience. :( Keep pushing forward and you WILL get there! I'm with you! emoticon

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