Tuesday, December 09, 2014
So I've been talking about revamping my program/routine for months, have I done it yet? Not completely. But I'm much more inspired and aware and willing to really put in the work now than I've been in a while.
Have I worked as hard at this as I should? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Have I seen the results I want? No--not yet.
What am I doing about it? Re-reading books, SP articles, listening to books on audiobooks, etc. I'm relearning things. Clearly what I've done before hasn't gotten the results I hoped for and as such, I feel a need to really sit and look at what I've done, what's helped or worked and what hasn't.
After watching yesterday's motivational and inspirational video, I'm more "on fire" than ever.
I know what to do, know how to do most of it--it's sticking with it and really working at it that I slack off on.
I'm currently listening to and reading Dr. Phil's book on weight loss (Ultimate weight loss solution) and I think my hubby is getting me his upcoming weight loss book (I think it's called 20/20). I've realized that my issues with losing and not losing lie in what goes on in my head and may be deeper issues than I thought before. That's why I chose to go with his book first, hope it was a good call!
I'm also rereading SP articles, looking at new recipes, and trying a tip I got from one of those articles. That is hold myself accountable by making a journal entry/blog every day. It's not my nature to share a lot and I've been known to be insanely private. so public blogs are hard for me--but I'm giving it a shot.
I also started carrying a small journal in my purse so I can jot down thoughts, food intake, etc during the day.
I just read an email which gave this great healthy tip for spaghetti: Grate zucchini lengthwise and cook with onions, garlic, and a little broth until tender. Add to spaghetti pasta and serve.
Sounds yummy to me! What a great way to sneak in another veggie!
I say if at first you don't succeed, keep trying! Everything will fall into place. You will learn from your mistakes and eventually you will succeed. It's also good to realize that things aren't working and reevaluate periodically.
Oh and my big win for today----as much as I wanted a candy bar, specifically a Reese's, when I stopped for gas today---I didn't get it. I dealt with my anger at some work related stress. I'm so happy I didn't cave in to the urge to eat candy or other comfort foods.
Monday, July 14, 2014
2 weeks ago, I underwent an extraction of the tooth that has been problematic for the past year. I underwent a complex root canal and had a cap placed after a complex cleaning, several rounds of antibiotics for an infection at the root level that had also entered the bone. All of these treatments failed and during the complex cleaning (use of laser treatment included), my cap came off. This was a permanent cap, so it wasn't supposed to do that. After more x-rays and much discussion, it appeared the infection had come back. It was decided the best thing to do now to heal this once and for all was to pull the tooth.
I was informed it would take about 15 minutes to pull the tooth, I'd be on antibiotics again for another couple of weeks and I'd be in some discomfort. All sounded ok to me.
I showed up for my appointment, finally ready after a year of repeated infections and problems, to get this tooth out of me. Clearly it's been causing me problems and I just wanted to be well. Now, please know that I do brush my teeth regularly, use mouth wash, floss all those good things. Somehow, this tooth just basically started dying and we don't know why.
They numbed me up pretty good that morning and explained again that it should only take about 15 minutes to extract the tooth. After 15 minutes of pulling and tugging and pushing on my jaw, the doc said, hang on we need to stop. Great, I thought...what now? At the same time, my TMJ flared up badly and I could no longer keep my jaw open. So they started massing my jaws for me and got a bite block. The doc came back in and said, this tooth will not come out as simply or easily as we thought. You appear to have 2 roots that are joined making it impossible to just wiggle the tooth out. The plan--drilling down the tooth to expose the roots so they could be cut.
After more numbing and lots of prayers on my end. The drilling began and for the next hour, I felt like I was in my own personal hell. The drilling, that high pitched squealing whine was insane. The smell of burnt tooth was disgusting. The pressure on my jaw was nearly unbearable.
1 hour and 15 minutes later, that problem tooth came out. The doctor flushed the pocket with antibiotics and said, it's out now and hopefully you'll heal with minimal problems. You will be in pain and so we'll help with that.
I thought--ok....I can handle all of this! It's over. I'm going to be well and I'm going to be healthier than I've been in the past year.
Sadly, that night as everything wore off---the pain became excrutiatingly unbearable. I was in tears. Now crying when your head already feels like it's been drilled to nothing and squeezed in a vice grip is not recommended. The pressure that builds up when you cry just added to the throbbing and pulsating pain in my jaw. My husband nearly took me to the ER.
Mercifully, I somehow passed out and was able to sleep for a couple of hours. What followed was 2 weeks of the worst nerve pain I've ever had. I have DDD in my entire spine and lots of issues with that so I'm not a stranger to pain. This facial nerve pain was the worst ever. Seriously...unbearable.
Whenever I bend over, my tooth begins to thump and throb. If I sneeze or bear down or do anything that even slightly raises my blood pressure--my tooth begins to thumb and throb.
I cannot even exercise right now. I've tried and it just makes the pain go through the roof. And there are only so many pain pills I'm willing to take. And once you realize, those pain pills aren't touching the pain---why take them?
It's been a year of hell with repeated infections and just feeling worn out. I think I hoped that after the tooth was gone, I'd somehow magically be well again and feeling great.
That hasn't been the case. I hope today, at the follow up, they can give me an idea of when this throbbing will stop.
I'm also going to try walking again today. Perhaps I'll be able to walk a short bit without the throbbing.
I know that no matter what, I'll get through everything thrown my way. I may not be achieving the results I wanted in the time line I wanted---but I'm not about to give up. I know that the pain is temporary and that I'll be able to work out again soon. I know I can eat healthy meals and at least keep the diet clean until then.
No matter what---I'll persevere.
My blog isn't about wanting or needing sympathy. Although, I'll admit the first few days after the procedure, I wanted to be babied and cuddled and I wanted my mommy like I've never wanted her before.
My blog is about reminding myself that challenges come in all sizes, shapes and in a variety of ways. My challenge this past year has been my health. And what I've realized is that unless i take charge and make changes and put my foot down on getting healthy--I will forever struggle with my weight.
It isn't about making anyone but me happy. It's about me. I've struggled, but no more than other people I know. I have pain--but it's nothing compared to what others deal with.
I'm going to do this. It's going to take longer than I wanted...but that's ok. As long as I keep moving forward, I'm happy.
Keep moving forward everyone...no matter what!!!
Get An Email Alert Each Time KMRJPR Posts