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KMAE1028's Recent Blog Entries
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Sunday, November 22, 2009
I went running on my usual walking path today. I ran about 3 miles. It felt so good. And by felt so good, I mean it kind of hurt and was really hard!!! But I'm really happy I did it. I don't have any races lined up for the rest of this year - no turkey trot or Christmas race or anything like that.
However, last night at my friend Kiri's birthday party, she asked if I was planning on doing the Colfax Half Marathon again this year. We both did it last May along with a handful of other friends. For me at least, it was terrible. I had a really hard time finishing, and only finished about 15 minutes short of the cut off time. I was hurting really badly by 7 miles into it, and it took all that was in me to get to the finish. I want another go at it. So I told Kiri yes. She said she wanted to as well. Now, the nice thing about the Colfax Marathon/Half Marathon is that if you register early (before January 15th) you can register a friend for free. So Kiri is going to register herself for $50, then I will get the friend for free code, and register myself, and cut Kiri a check for $25 bucks. You simply cannot beat a $25 half marathon. That is a fantastically awesome deal. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to it, and I know that this year will be much better than how last year turned out.
Also at Kiri's party last night I got a nice handful of compliments on how good I looked and that everyone liked my bangs. So that was just really nice to hear, and a great confidence booster. It's funny about my bangs... they really do make me feel great about myself. Every time I look in a mirror or catch my reflection in a pane of glass, I feel happy, beautiful, powerful, confident. It is truly amazing what a great haircut can do.
And now for something completely different: Do you take vitamins? My mom suggested taking B Complex, and I just started and I loooooove it! I checked with the pharmacist at Target to make sure it was okay to take it with my prescriptions, she said it was fine. Even only taking it twice so far, I have a little more energy. The bottle says "Helps convert food into energy." Which can only be a good thing. There is also some Vitamin C in the ones that I bought, so I am sure that is good to get a little extra of as well. Anyway, do you take B Complex? Do you take other vitamins? What do you think?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009
We had a really interesting conversation in my Depression class on Monday. We were talking about the scripts that are in our heads. Think about it. What do you constantly hear in your head? Is it positive? Is it negative? Personally, most of my scripts are negative.
I'm not smart enough.
I will always be overweight.
There is no way I can do this.
I will never be able to run a marathon.
Etc.
How many times have you thought to yourself "Why can't I get my head straight? Why am I so hard on myself?"
Here is the answer. You might not be the one that is being hard on yourself. It might be something else.
Another question: Do you believe in evil? It doesn't have to be in a religious sort of way (ie. Satan, or the Devil), but just evil sprits/forces in general. Personally, I do. I know there is evil in this world that is actively working against us.
And those evil forces are really good liars.
These evil forces are lying to us. They don't want us to succeed. So, the next time you hear a negative thought running through your brain, take the time to identify it as a lie. If you are faith-inclined, make it a prayer. "Jesus, that is a lie!" Or just say it out loud. "Something is trying to tell me that I can't lose this weight. That is a LIE! I can lose this weight, by eating healthy and exercising."
The most important thing in this practice is to be consistent. Whenever you hear those lies in your head, identify them, and speak out against them. Eventually, they will not happen as often. The better you get at identifying them, the more they will just disappear.
So that is what I learned this week. I don't think I worded it as well as our instructor, but I did my best. I hope this helps someone, even a little bit.
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In other news, I am doing so well. I am racking up the NSVs this week, let me tell you. Today after my workout with Jillian, I decided to go out for a 1/2 hour walk. It was the perfect plan... except it didn't work. I ended up going for a 1/2 hour run. WHAT?!?!?!
Let's back up for a second. The last time I really ran was my half marathon back in May. Historically, when I take months long hiatuses from running, it has always been super hard getting back into it, and it takes a few weeks before I can even run a whole mile without stopping to walk or wanting to die. Today I ran 1.72 miles. Without stopping. Because apparently I can. I guess losing 20 pounds and working out (walking and doing my DVD - that's it), really has upped my endurance. I hope this translates to easier hiking next summer, too.
Anyway. I let Jillian kick my ass for 22 minutes then went for a run. What have I become? I don't know the answer to that, but it felt pretty dang good.

Sunday, November 08, 2009
I promise that not all entries are going to revolve around the 30 Day Shred. Maybe once a week, or when I move up a level.
But I just had to say that I have not felt so sore upon waking up since May, when I ran a half marathon. Even my chest was sore this morning. I laid in bed for about half an hour debating whether to get up and do the Shred again, or to rest and sleep some more.
I got up. I shredded. It hurt. But then when I stopped, it felt amazing. I laid around for awhile afterward and waited until I stopped sweating before showering. (Did you know you are supposed to do that? If you shower while you are still sweating, the sweat can get clogged in your pores. So always wait until you are no longer sweating before showering!)
In NaNoWriMo land, I am behind on my word count. However, I did a few thousand words last night, and will try to do the same this afternoon. Then after work, I am going to see The Time Traveler's Wife at the cheap theater, by myself. Since I worked all weekend at my second job, going to the movies is going to be my "weekend" before going back to work at my first job, tomorrow morning.
That's all I've got for you today. I am very much sore, and steps are not my friend. I tried going upstairs on the stairs after the Shred and almost threw up, no joke. Then I took the elevator back down, hahaha.
I hope you all had great weekends!


Saturday, November 07, 2009
I have a confession to make. I have been weight loss blogging... at blogger.com. I know, I know, I'm cheating on SparkPeople. But I can't deny that I love the support group I have made over there, and I like the layout better... not so cluttered. I am trying to make my way back here though, because I really like the options to track exercise and weight loss.
So I have been officially working on eating healthier, exercising, and losing weight since September 29th, 2009. I have struggled with it all my life, and tried many different things, and after reading the book "Half-Assed" by Jeanette Fulda, something in me changed. And I had a passion like I have never have to become a better version of myself.
Since the end of September, I've lost 20.9 pounds. I have done it by keeping track of my calories, trying not to eat when I'm not hungry, and regular exercise. Mostly I just go for walks in the park in the morning. But now I have also added to the mix Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I did it for the first time today. I feel shredded, a little bit. I am sure I will feel it more tomorrow.
If I think of it, I will try to start copying over my blogs to SP. Then I can have two support groups! Anyway, I'm glad to be back, and to start trying to get the hang of SP again... after all these months. =)


Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Yeah I'm bored. So I thought, what the heck, let's see what's happening at SparkPeople these days. I haven't been here in about 2 months. Why did I come back? I just haven't been feeling good lately.
I have to say that I have been overweight for most of my life that I can recall. And because of that, I've learned to deal with it. I love myself for who I am. I think I'm pretty. I have decent self-confidence, but it's not through the roof or anything. I don't let being overweight stop me from doing much, hence the half marathons, hiking, playing hours of basketball in the park. I'm too stubborn to accept that I can't do these things, so I go out and do them just to prove that I can. I like that about myself.
But lately I've been feeling really out of sorts with my body. Despite how well I can be active when I want to be, I haven't been doing it lately. I eat junk a lot. The only thing I have kept on track with is not having caffiene or soda - and I'm incredibly proud of that. It's been just over 6 months, and I don't think I'll ever go back. I was that much of an addict. I put all my food into the nutrition tracker today, and I have over a thousand extra calories. Not that I'm big on counting calories, mind you, I was just interested. But I might do it for a few weeks just to see if it helps.
So yeah, I'm not that active, and I want to be. I'm having health issues, too. Like, it's been 50 days since I last had a period. It's driving me nuts, and yes, I'm going to see a doctor about it soon. But it's just one more thing to add to the list of frustrations. (Which, off topic here, also include not having a job and housing for next year yet. YIKES!!!)
So that is where I am. I am almost done with my AmeriCorps year, which is why I'm desperately looking for jobs. I'm really looking forward to going home in August for 2 weeks.

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