Saturday, November 30, 2013
Well... I graduated Naval Bootcamp November 15th. Now I'm getting ready to go to school in Florida. I lost about 12 lbs being in bootcamp! WooHoo. It was definitely an experience. One I don't really want to repeat but was truly invaluable. I learned a lot about myself. Some of the things I was struggling with before I left, I'm no longer struggling with. I'm still just as self conscious as I was before but I give it less power. I guess showering with 40 women will do that to you.
I've grown into myself. I'm learning that the problems I had before still exist, just because I changed the environment doesn't mean I solved the problem. I'm still fighting with the issues I had left over from my ex. However, now I know I'm worth something, I'm no longer doubting myself or thinking I'm not going to be good enough. I'm strong enough, smart enough and beautiful enough. I will deserve everything I get good and bad and that's because that's the way it was meant to be. It's unfortunate it took going through boot camp to figure that out, we should always know we are people we should be proud of. I'm owning my personality and even better I'm leaving all the reservations behind. I may never see that person again whom I went up to and said "hi" and had a meal with but it was worth it. Someday I may be on a ship and out in the middle of the ocean for months on end. Suddenly things have far more value than they used to. It's easy to be fearless when you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, it's easier to be fearful when you have something to lose and don't need to gain. The hard part is not letting that fear or courage be a detriment.
Every quality can be a virtue and flaw at the same time you just have to figure out what category it falls into at the right time. Life is only what we make it. Find what you need to blossom, and shine. If you don't you won't ever be happy with yourself.
Anyway for those of you who are wondering, yes Joe proposed and I did say "yes"! Hope to hear from you all soon.