Tuesday, December 10, 2013
This morning at 158 I decided I need to add myself some mini goal motivation:
So since I'd love to lose 20 pounds, I'm going to reward myself with the following:
155: 1 new workout shirt
150: 1 hour massage
145: new spin shoes
140: TRUE GOAL: Book a mini trip to Denver!!!
hehehehehehehehe I've so got this.
Sunday, December 08, 2013
It's been nearly 14 months since I've blogged. And a lot has happened in 14 months for sure!!
I've changed jobs.
I've fallen in love with a new career.
I've gained 20 pounds.
I quit Sparking ( ^ might help explain the previous statement)
I've re-fallen in love with Spinning.
I've made some REALLY AWESOME friends.
I've competed in a couple of "mud races" including the Tough Mudder. (Oh yeah baby)
I've remodeled my entire home.
I've met people from all over the country.
I've hung out with millionaires and broke a$$ people in the same room.
I've loved myself a lot.
I've been angry with myself a lot too.
I've rekindled an old friendship, that means more to me now than it ever did before.
I've lost friends (just grown apart)
I've loved and lost and hurt and rejoiced.
I've rediscovered the Lord.
So with all of that happening, I guess seeing the scale move up and down and up again and back down a little bit.... It just seemed to be, I don't know, not as important as it once was.
Yes I'm important. My health is extremely important to me. But to be honest. I've never felt better. Even though I'm 20 pounds heavier than I was a few years ago, I feel like I'm better now. I'm more "whole". I'm more mentally and spiritually whole. I'm happy for the most part. I'd be happier if I could still wear all those cute clothes that are just too darned tight, but I'm working on that. (That's changeable).
What I don't miss from being 138 pounds, is the self-righteous, narcissistic attitude I had. I thought because I was a gym bada$$ I was all that. I wasn't. I was a girl who could play with 50 pound dumbbells on a Bosu. Can I do that now? Nope. Not sure I'd even want to at this point. I'm focused on a more holistic approach to my fitness and life. I'm FAR more flexible now than ever before. Why? Because flexibility is IMPORTANT. Duh.. My skin is better, my mood is better, my outward AND inward attitudes are BETTER!
So it's 20 pounds. So it's a pants size or two. So what. I'm beautiful no matter what, because I treat people beautifully. It's not about what you weigh, what size clothes you wear, what your thigh size is, or waist size is, or bra size is.
It's about YOU 100%. Loving yourself, your near and dear and all you encounter.
Here's to a new me, may I be better tomorrow than I am today and kinder each moment!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Well, a lot has happened in 2 months.
Stress, feeling like crap, losing my trainer, losing my motivation, trying like hell to find it back, talking myself up, bringing myself down.
Gaining 10 pounds... GAINING 10 POUNDS!
Pants not fitting right.
Busting a zipper.
Possibly changing jobs. (fingers crossed) many, many interviews. Finding the job THE JOB, and getting through 3 interviews in 4 weeks. Feels like it's a never ending high-low emotional rollercoaster of anticipation and near let down then back up to looking positive to hear nothing again for days on end. Trying to remain positive there.
Home remodel... NEVER ENDING FREEKING HOUSE REMODEL!
Dealing with all of this and trying to figure out a new workout plan, going it alone, knowing I can do this, knowing I am smart enough but not having the internal will to do it.
Trying to spend time with the kid and husband and friends and family and being a good wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister.... self....
Overwhelmed and underwhelmed.
Trying to eat right, but wanting to emotionally endulge in garbage.... oh delicious garbage.
Going to break through, just have to get the stressors out, have to let go of it all and give in to my self to trust myself and my wisdom... I will get through this. I will feel better and this stinking 10 pounds will go back away....
I will make this work!!!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Ok, I got off track for a couple of weeks. I know, I know.... I know what I need to do... I got back to reality and I'm doing what I need to, but I'm getting that "addicted to the scale" thing again and that's not healthy. No you won't see it move that much every other day, and even if it does, it's most likely not really moving but water is changing within my body.
So what I need to do is not concentrate so much on the number on the scale but rather the feeling in my body.
Yes I feel squishy, that happens when I over-indulge in salty foods (god I love salty foods) and no it doesn't help that I had rediculous amounts of processed carbs, and yes 4 days of eating right doesnt' undo a two week bender... So just give it time, be smart and quit obsessing.
Okay... I can do this... I can do this... I can and I will do this!!!!
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