Sunday, September 15, 2013
I will consider participating even though in a very bad shape..even just walking
Thursday, September 12, 2013
This summer holidays was not really a "summerholidays" for me; but i will blog another time for that.
Duriing that period and on August 9th my girlfriend's Vicki's brother died. He was a nice man full of life of 49,doctor with two young girls and a beautiful wife and what seems to be a "good life" ahead.
As far as we all knew he was not ill ,out f the blue his color seemed not very well (yellow) he entered a hospital for checking it and in the hospital he was infected with resistant staphylococcus and in a few days he died.
I had not been talking and communicating with my friend V. except of two short phone calls on the occasion of birthday or name day wishes.
This made it extremely difficult for me to go now and see her for...consolation(?)
With a lot of hesitation and guilt i fixed a coffee meeting to which i went as if was going to the guillotine.
To my compete and absolute surprise this meeting was so GOOD!
Such good and valuable things were said and lived..
Feelings of all kinds made us stay ther for a good 4hours . Tears and laughters there was not very much to introduce everything was already known. I had been in her family thousand times she has been in mine all the same..
She was afterall my very close friend for a great 15 years in our critical 25-40 period sharing lovestories , chidbirths and serious illnesses .
Someway dissapointment, laziness, boredom and ......(?) made us distant.
But you cannot ever break a relationship that has been part of your HISTORY..
In so many moments i recall she is there; with her photogenic smile helping me to serve my guests, dancing, flirting staying late at night sometimes satying awake all night , helpig me pack for going away , introducing me with her lover or fiancee , leaving me her baby son for a moment and he had his first walk with me...(he!he!) coming to visit with her baby daughter and she had her first walk onto my lap..(he!he!)
That is why i so little believe in breaking.
It takes just a good minute and everything burst into you nostalgically and feels like "at home".
Even though you say to yourself that you have overestimated, mismeasured,you can very well live without him/her, all this psychic investment is really unbreakable.
We are so very different with Vicki but she was always adding this new clever touch to my thought that i needed so much, she was seen and showing things to me from a completely new angle.
I am not good at naming what i was adding to her accurate reasoning or immaginative trips but undoubtely there was something there.
Long lasting realationships like chronic illnesses only sleep inside us do not disapear.
Noboy can make me laugh so loudly or cry so deeply as someone with whom i have a past full of laughters and cries .
This person is a witness of your very life story, for heaven sake!
I am positive now that the fragility of friendships is made of iron.
And that is one very good thing..
Monday, May 20, 2013
Such a lovely weekend was this!
There has been an international book fair in Thessaloniki (2)
very different from any other year, with a lot of space and presences of book writers and interviews and discussions and parallel events.
Even though i was in a low energy high depressive mode i joined.
Firstly because i had a commitment with an old friend not seen for a long who was going to go there and i accept her invitation for a coffee. Then my internal thirst came in surface demanding for more and at last a signal-gift came to make sure for me that this is the way up for me.
What i did was only to accept the offering possibilities ,reluctantly but that was already enough.
We had a "small talk" (which was one of the worst part for me) then attended a brilliant presentation about an interesting book , presentation made by one of my best loved authors P.MARTINIDIS (1),
a contemporary dancing performance of a dancer i love Calliope Sfika in the port just in front of the sea,
an interesting installation in Thessaloniki Museum of Modern Art (3)
with theme "love" where dance, theatre, poem rehearsed and videos took place
and in the evening a singing performance of a mezzo soprano in the museum's auditorium.
Waiting for the singer to come i would have never had thought that this Maria Lavida would be my Maria, a woman that i had met a few years ago in a bank which from the first moment became a person seemed different and special. We had been talking for hours mostly about her own problems, she had just came from America after 11 years and was lonely, with family problems and interesting.. I knew she was in "classical singing" not sure if she was still studying or what; most of the times we were talking about her relation to her mother her grief after her death, her relation with her brother, men.....i felt that she was in need, asking something and i gave it to her to the extend that it came naturally to me...
I could have never thought of her offering sth to me.
We did not see each other for some years
last night there she came in front of me again she was the mezzo soprano to give the rehearsal in the event.
The rehearsal was mediocre due to some technical details, (f.e her pianist had not come on time!!!! and replaced with another one)
but late at night when the Museum was closed she sang again behind closed doors
only for six of us (friends) and it was DIVINE! Such a privileged, a gift..
All these events fed back my batteries were offered without any money so i could afford them without remorses that i cut financial resourced from my children at this crucial moment and i felt so absolutely grateful!!
Yes, keep expecting gifts to fall from the sky....as an old sparkfriend used to say you need to "wish" and "it is going to be heard"
Good luck and have a nice week dear co Sparkers!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Yesterday was my mother's in law day.
I had to stay with her all day long (her caregiver's day off).
I did my very best for her to have an almost smiling day; i had fortified myself against seriousness with a special playful attitude, i dyed her hair, which together with a face cream was the second most asked favor by this old teenager and to my luck my best friedn Eleni came in my company and help .
Eleni is like myself only "reversed", my sign is her ascendant and my ascendant is her sign.
This gives us a chance to balance and a mirror to look at each other flaws and strengths in a favorably detached way..
Her heartful laugh ,this "have always something to say or a story to narrate" and most of all . her proven LOVE fortification, were the most precious tools to get over a difficult day.
The day finished with my MIL laughing and feeling as happy as possible - on given circumstances- she declared that we had such a wonderful time together and came almost running with her walker at the door to see us off and wish us good night.
I am sure that the hint is to treat her as a little girl.She may almost have forgotten she had become mother, grandmother, wife ....but she will always be that young girl she once was.
I guess this is one of the ways God is helping some of us to pass through this difficult point in life.
So, to resume, the day was a difficult but good day.
I didn't eat too much,
i once more witnessed the priviledge of having such a good friend
Today i am feeling full of energy and power.
I wish you a good day!
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