KLEE46's Recent Blog Entries

A Lot Is Going on Inside

Sunday, September 27, 2009

We are always in the process of movement, even when we seem to be standing still. A table is not just a table, it is a bunch of bouncing and moving molecules.

So when we seem to be at a standstill, we must be aware a lot is going on inside, bubbling to the surface in its own good time. I am learning not to be discouraged when my program does not seem swift and smooth.

More will be revealed.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTAMIA 10/28/2009 4:08PM

    It is within stillness that I find my greatest power which propels me onward.
Be Well ~M

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ZAHNASGRANDMA 10/18/2009 9:42PM

    Soooo true

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RICH530 9/27/2009 9:26PM

    Interesting!!! thanks!!

emoticon Lee

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SLCB1023 9/27/2009 2:09PM

    Sometimes the eruptions are not pleasant ones or really attached to the cause. emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 9/27/2009 12:53PM

    Lovely photograph!

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SLIMMERJESSE 9/27/2009 12:08PM

    I was thinking these exact thoughts this morning. I have been sooo discouraged by some of the areas in my life seeming so stagnant. Then I realize that it will all unfold, and to just be as still as I can. Have a great. day.

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GERIKRAGH 9/27/2009 11:35AM

    It's like an ongoing serial. When's the next one?

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The Emotional Charge Has Been Taken Off Old Triggers

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I am home from a wonderful trip to San Diego. Although I needed to travel 90 minutes on windy roads to get to and from the Eugene Airport, I was able to do so. Yes, I needed seat belt extensions, but they were cheerfully given and gratefully used. They also motivated me to be so successful on program they would no longer be needed.

The biggest gift of the trip was seeing my father, enjoying his company and discovering the emotional charge had been taken off of the old triggers. Whether I agreed with him or not, was scolded by him or his anger showed up it was no big deal. I learned after the moment it was still peaceful and calm and loving. For me, that was a long way from previous interactions.

As always I met the nicest people on the plane. I had some good baby energy on the way to San Diego. I met Mike, who was very outdoorsy and well toned and friendly on the way home. It felt good to be accepted and to have pleasant conversations. I also made a nice spiritual connection with my father's friends at his local Thai restaurant.

One of my biggest surprises was watching my father sharpen his knife on the steel rod and going through his extensive spice collection. He is truly a chef and a cook. I never realized how accomplished and knowedgable he was in that area. He actually said he was going to try some of my flavors as well. Please understand my children used to say, "Mommy, mommy I'll be good, please don't cook dinner!" So that was quite a compliment and growth on my part.

I am so grateful for Spark People as a home base. I have learned so much here. Thank you to all who contribute to my success, the success of others and our community. May we all reclaim the positive sides of ourselves, the love of family and the thrill of new discoveries along the way.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMMERJESSE 9/20/2009 1:32PM

    Wish we could have met for coffee while you were here. Maybe next time? Have a wonderful day.

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VLVTGRRL 9/15/2009 6:15PM

    If the emotional charge is off old triggers, are they still triggers? Glad you had such a positive, great trip! Welcome home!

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ALEXSGIRL1 9/15/2009 6:14PM

    wow im love how positive you are. i love your spin on things. and the courage you have to try new things. or to stick yourself out there when the experience wasn't great before.it's good to know that time changes,and so did you.. emoticon

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PAULASTRAS 9/15/2009 5:34PM

    love the blog, so sweet of you to share it...glad your trip
was a successful one and you are back home safe and sound.
love and hugs paula:)

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REBAP123 9/15/2009 10:58AM

    Karen, I'm so glad you had a great trip and nice time with your Dad. You've come a long way in healing.
Hugs...Becky emoticon

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BELLACUDDLES 9/14/2009 2:55PM

    Looks like you had a great time! So happy for you!


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CHBADILLO 9/14/2009 12:21PM

    Great blog!Thanks for sharring about your time with Dad and that you to were a Mom with children begging for fast food instead of Mom's cooking :)

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JEAJUD 9/14/2009 7:42AM

    Great to hear you have a good time and that you are accepting others for who they are and you're not letting them get into you! Great job!

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BIKERBABE2BE 9/13/2009 3:50PM

    Yeah for YOU!!!

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BABYFACE26 9/13/2009 3:19PM

    Fantastic blog! Made me happy to read of your successes, especially in the interaction with your father. Boy can I relate!!! My dad passed away a very long time ago...but I'd like to think, if we were able to talk now, I might have a similar experience. Meantime, I know that my interaction with ex BF echoes my communication with dad, from many years ago.
They are earthy, rational. I only know what I can see - is their world view. Mine is very different!

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CABINDOG 9/13/2009 3:06PM

    I loved this! I love the Discovery Statement Chart. I can identify. Thanks for the blog, Kay

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DEBMORSE1 9/13/2009 2:50PM

    I am thrilled for you that "the emotional charge has been taken off the old triggers." That's huge!!! You will continue to grow and improve every day as a result!!! Best wishes!

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 9/13/2009 2:36PM

    I am so happy to read such a happy account of your trip. Thanks for sharing the story of your success.

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My Life is Full So My Tummy Doesn't Have to Be

Sunday, September 06, 2009

I am super calm and collected today. My faculties are in place and I am grateful for a beautiful life.

That being said, there is still more footwork to do to insure a healthier life. A few more stones to turn over and obstacles to be faced. Not a lot different every day.

But there is variety to life. There are peaks and valleys. Right now I am in a green valley of abundance and new beginning, and lots of mixed metaphors. I don't mind that so much now. Life is full is what I am seeing and feeling and maybe that is the difference.

My life is full so my tummy doesn't have to be.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELLACUDDLES 9/7/2009 9:11AM

    That was great......looks like a great book too!!!!


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FLMOMX2 9/6/2009 3:48PM

    Glad you are doing well. Have a great week.

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BABYFACE26 9/6/2009 1:39PM

    I can really relate to this blog. My life is also becoming more rich, suddenly. What I prayed for. And food dwindles in importance. looks like an interesting read.

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We Are All in This Together...Alone

Saturday, September 05, 2009

We are all in this together...alone. What a concept. Whether in a family, in Spark People, in a nation or the world, we each occupy a unique environmental niche that no one else can fill.

Setting the food chain aside in the eco sense, we are a chain of behavior and decisions. We may not realize, that we are also the sum up of all of our ancestors patterns as well. Again, setting aside ultimate creation, all of our lineage's choices have affected us to some degree.

The opportunity is to set a course in a new direction. To honor our singularity while blending into the masses. This can become a fun exploration as we sort out where others end and we begin. We learn what our strengths and weaknesses and preferences really are. Then we can follow the path of fulfillment and joy while leaving what no longer serves behind.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CABINDOG 11/15/2009 7:10PM

    KLEE--this is the perfect example of a beautifully poetic blog. You must continue! Kay

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BABYFACE26 9/6/2009 1:48PM

    Uh hum. So many seemingly opposing concepts. Accepting our need as humans to "blend in" as you phrased it. I'd say, being part of the community. Feeling like we belong. How can we be so unique, each of us, and still - share so much in common with the human race, and our ancestors, and other mammals? How can we be so important in our uniqueness, and yet no more important than any other human being? How can one person become more themselves by "deflating the ego" as Liz said..and another (like me) by finding their Ego, and enhancing it?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Ellen emoticon

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RUSSELLORAMA 9/6/2009 12:31PM

    Awesome post! I was just trying to verbalize this sentiment the other day and couldn't quite find the words. You've summed it up perfectly!

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BELLACUDDLES 9/5/2009 6:46PM

    That's right; we are all in this together, but the choices we make are OURS alone! Everyday there are choices in all aspects of our lives; let's all try to make good ones!!!!!


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CALOUSTE 9/5/2009 2:43PM

    Nicely put!

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RICH530 9/5/2009 10:22AM

    Thanks!! You sure made me stop and think!!!
emoticon Lee

Comment edited on: 9/5/2009 10:22:41 AM

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SLCB1023 9/5/2009 10:02AM

    We are all on this same journey and we can love and support and encourage each other. BUT in the end, each person has to do their own work... alone.

Thanks for sharing.

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LIZ-GS 9/5/2009 9:56AM

    Cool concept - thanks for sharing! Yep - that's a mouthful of truthfulness - I've finally learned that making connections with kindred spirits is what I need to do to be healthy.

Bye, bye overinflated ego - deflate the ego to deflate the flab.

Much needed your insights today. Spark on!
emoticon Thanks for sharing a bright idea. Liz.

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SHERYLDI1 9/5/2009 9:56AM

    Gosh, making me think on a Saturday. You're right.

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I Can Embrace All of Me; I Cannot Guarantee There Will Be No Prickly Parts

Monday, August 31, 2009

I am not discouraged, but I have been slipping lately. I had a respite of eating within my calorie range, but did not exercise as needed. It seems exercise is always my last stand.

I know at some level I will be successful with my program if I will burn those excess calories. Even when the pounds are not coming off I am less depressed and my blood pressure benefits.

Today I am going to do the inner work to unravel more of why I will not allow myself the pleasure of moving the body and reducing the excess weight. I am a bundle of energy that is bottled up.

Ah, if the lid blows off it is about anger. I am afraid I will unleash my stored anger inappropriately. I have been here before, but have not really investigated a lot about the anger. It frightens me. I do not know what I am capable of when out of control anger shows up. Will I kill someone? or myself? Will I yell and make loud noises?

The noise of anger disturbs me. I remember my father's yelling and beating me. I guess I feel if I do not make noise or draw attention to myself I will not be hurt. Yes, I want to be a fat invisible safe me. Still seeking the easier softer way, and not finding comfort anywhere I look.

My fear is unleashing an unknown me who may not be as nice as I would like. I can embrace all of me, I just cannot guarantee there will be no prickly parts.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELLACUDDLES 8/31/2009 6:15PM

    Oh, friend, sorry you are feeling such anger. Maybe you can try some deep slow breaths.......breathe Jesus in.....and the devil out.....he wants you in his corner; Also, try hitting a pillow when you feel really angry; it's helped me in the past.


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SLCB1023 8/31/2009 2:56PM

    Sometimes things have to get shook up to make progress. Holding it all in is not good either. So think of some things that you can blow off that steam before it backfires and you let your program go. emoticon

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BIKERBABE2BE 8/31/2009 1:50PM

    Karen, wow...you said a lot. I hope you don't 'hide'. I hope you can find a way to deal with the anger and the other stuff, too. Keep moving and keep analyzing. You are amazing.

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CMESPARK 8/31/2009 1:31PM


Take care

Comment edited on: 8/31/2009 1:49:32 PM

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GEINAHG0757 8/31/2009 1:29PM

    Karen - This blog spoke to me like few others have. Maybe we do keep ourselves "coated" to protect us - and others FROM us. Well, I got some news for folks. Get ready to see some "prickles"! You rock!


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