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KJOETIEPAAI's Recent Blog Entries


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My holiday was stunning! So beautiful, but also very smelly... and I got sick a couple of times, but that resulted in a naturally smaller stomach... I just can't eat the amounts of food I did, cause it will get me sick... Every downside has its upside....

I'm home for about a week now and still losing weight! Yesterday I had my first run with zombierun. I could do it easily.

I'm so happy!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENGOJENGO 10/30/2012 9:53AM

  Just keep swimming,,,,you're doing great! :)

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LATTELEE 10/30/2012 8:38AM

  Every cloud has a silver lining!

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breakthrough in my weightloss journey!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Last night I had a breakthrough in my weightloss journey.

I don't do well on deadlines that have to do with this journey, even though in other parts of my life, deadlines are usually the reason why I get things done.

Last night, after I came home from a barbeque, I was thinking about my wedding in march next year. I've bought a strapless weddingdress and because I have these sunmarks (I always have a white "t-shirt" on, because of the sun) I should get rid of them. I really don't like to get artificial sun, so I have to find a way to get these tanmarks off or filled in with tan.
We will make a large trip to South East Asia before we have our wedding and I figured it should be easy to wear something strapless there.

So I tried a shirt on, that I could make strapless and found out I actually look pretty good in strapless clothes!!!! I don't have a lot of fat on my shoulders!

Next to that, I got to buy two outdoorpants, wich fit me perfectly.

Because I found this out and because I ordered my wedding dress in the size I am now, all the pressure has fallen of me.

I have outfits for SE Asia holiday, I have a weddingdress that will look stunning, even in the size I am now and I am allowed to lose weight, but I don't HAVE TO.

And that is my key.

Everytime in the past, when I said to myself: you really have to lose weight, this or that amount before this or that is going to happen (holiday, party, etc), I started to sabotage myself. Don't know why. But everytime I said to myself: well, let's try to lose some weight, no pressure, I could make these healthy choices. But then something came along, I HAVE TO lose more weight and then the opposite would happen.

So now I have peace. I will have a great holiday, I will look great in my weddingdress and it's okay if I stay the same. I feel so relieved! It's really stupid, that I have to let go, to get something done, but this is how I work.

So I CAN lose weight, I don't HAVE TO, because I am already beautiful, a real foxy lady ;)

So happy right now!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OHIO_LAURA 7/29/2012 11:20AM


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ROCKINMOM776 7/27/2012 10:29PM

    emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYOTTER 7/27/2012 9:43PM

    Peace is a wonderful accomplishment. Congrats on your success.

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ANNISSAT 7/27/2012 2:15PM


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SPARKLINGHOPE 7/26/2012 11:30AM


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MARY1313 7/26/2012 8:02AM

    Clappy Hands! That is awesome!

Mary in Alabama

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ADARKARA 7/26/2012 7:45AM

    That's wonderful!!!! I hope I'll be able to wear strapless tops soon too =)


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KJOETIEPAAI 7/26/2012 6:29AM

    we'll go to vietnam,. laos, cambodia an thailand... I see you live in Malaysia :)

I will wear sunscreen, o yeah!

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FATHINSN 7/26/2012 5:43AM

    Wish you have a great trip, you will look great in your wedding dress, no matter what's your size and weight, most important you feel great about yourself and that should make you shine in and out :D

South East Asia trip? That's where I live :D It's sunshine and rainy whole year (at least, my place is) so be prepared with sunblock and erm, rain block? LOL Perhaps here you will get rid those "white shirt" but be careful to not get lobster-red look!

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it's going okay...

Monday, July 16, 2012

In the past few weeks I have started a myfitnesspal account and that has helped me to track my calories. I really can't believe I burn so many calories with my activities, but on the other hand, I AM overweight and therefor I burn more calories with exercising than a normal sized person would... It gives me motivation. I don't get to fill the tracker every day, but I try.

For the past few weeks I have been on the elliptical trainer every other day (three times a week) and increasing the resistance of it. During the workout, I get to watch grey's anatomy and I can't watch it, if I'm not on the elliptical...

In the weekends we have hiked a bit, to train for our vietnam holiday.

So I guess I'm making more healthy choices than before.

But now I need to stay on track in the weekends! I just fall of the wagon every weekend! I hate it, but can't seem to stop it. So my weight goed up and down and it's not funny...

Maybe if I lose more consistently, I will stay on track. So today I started with yoghurt, a granny smith and some cinnamon and later on, I will snack on some paranuts. I have to work and am cooking myself there, so I will try to make it healthy and lean.

My job is hard right now. Our team is falling apart. I don't know if I can take it that good, so maybe it's time to search for another job.

What helpt me to stay motivated is my tumblr-account. I follow some fitblrs and that helps. I will check them out and then I will get on the elliptical and do my best!

have a nice day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYOTTER 7/16/2012 8:21AM

    Weekends are tough for so many people. Helps me to have plenty of fruits and veggies waiting in the house. Good plan using Grey's as your reward for elliptical.

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MARY1313 7/16/2012 6:13AM

    It sounds like you are doing great things, except for the weekends. Maybe you could give yourself ONE day to splurge and reward yourself (not with food) when you do exactly that!


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I'm so done..... I think

Monday, May 28, 2012

gaining... just because I have no stopping signal.. or maybe I have, but I'm ignoring it...

I'm so fed up with this journey to nowhere! I'm always failing it, I don't know why. Is it selfsabotage? Maybe I don't really want to lose weight? Do I think I "deserve" to be fat for something I did before?

I have been trying to lose weight since 2006. 6 years! And all it got me was more weight.

What is that? Why is that? When will it stop?

So maybe it is time to stop trying to lose weight, just accept it and try to live as healthy as possible. Maybe I should quit all the sites, because in that time I can do something active. Maybe I should keep everything to myself and struggle on my own.

It's a flight from the world... Done it before and it didn't help then. And I mean that I moved to the other side of our country. Nothing really bad, don't worry. All I got then was a feeling of loneliness.

Can anyone tell me how to imprint the thoughts that I want to lose weight and that I have to do something for it. Leave nibblestuff alone and stop when I'm full. Go outside to move my body... any way, doesn't matter. How to keep my house neat and tidy and clean, instead of always worrying what people who come over unannounced will say/think.

I am so fed up with failing!!!!!!!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BJPENNY70 5/28/2012 11:47PM

    Don't give up. You are to valuable. You might not see it, but you are. I know loneliness. I spent years housebound. All my friends disappeared when I was injured. My husband worked two jobs and was so tired when he came home he would sleep. The only people I had to talk to was three states away from me. You may or may not want to hear this. I started leaning on the LORD. HE helped me get through all those lonely years. I ask for HIS help to lose weight. I weighed 336 pounds at one time. I have all kinds of health issues. I was a mess. I could barely cross my livingroom. I would be in pain and out of breath. Just like you I was ready to give up. I didn't know how to start. Nothing had worked for me in the pass. I couldn't get up an exercise. I thought my budget wouldn't support healthy food. But I finally realized I needed to trust in God to help me with my weight loss and how to do it. I started getting the resources I need to get started. SparkPeople was one of those resources. I knew I had to obey the LORD and do what was healthy for my body, mind, and spirit. I started eating healthy in October 2011. In November I found Spark People and was encouraged to exercise on my bed for 10 minutes a day. 73.5 pounds later I am walking, working in my yard, and I am able to clean house. I went from hopeless to much healthier and happier. You can do this. You are so worth it. You already know what your weaknesses are. You can overcome them. You can ask God to help you and obey HIM in the path HE gives you. Re-examine your situation and yourself. You will find what you need to do. Don't give up on yourself. It is not hopeless.

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    What I hear in your post is that your intuition is telling you that what you are doing isn't working for you. It is telling you to try something new. It is telling you to get out of the house, away from the computer, away from the food.
It is telling you that you need a goal and a purpose that will inspire you.
It is probably telling you that you need to open your mnd to something new, a different way of looking at things, a different approach.

My opinion............
Life is not all about how much you weigh/dieting. Being a certain weight won't make you happy. Having a fit/healthy body probably would help a whole lot. Your voice within is leading you to something else that will create a lifestyle that you love and a mind/body that allows you to fully participate in it. Either weight loss, or satisfaction with your present weight will be a result......not an end goal.

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KIM--POSSIBLE 5/28/2012 7:41AM

    I felt this way for a long time before things finally started to work, and I can't explain why they did then, either. I had been going to the gym every day, working out and eating what i thought was healthy most of the time, with no results from 2003-2009. I had dropped the gym membership and put away the scale and quit.

I started over, slowly after a few months of doing nothing, in August 2009. I started walking, just walking, 30 minutes a day with an elderly neighbor. Then, started walking 30 minutes by myself and 30 with her when she could. I added one small change at a time. More water, increasing fruits and veggies, reducing breads, watching sodium, etc. I was down 30 pounds in Dec 09. I told my husband about a year later, if I'd tried to make all the changes at once, I would never have made it. Making small changes gradually made them seem not such a big deal.

Tracking took me a long time. I lost at first without needing to track, and it took so much time I decided I didn't need to. Then I plateaued, so I started tracking, and I still do. It is easier now because I eat a lot of the same things, so I can just copy meals over from one day to the next. I never followed the spark meals, always did my own thing.

I still struggle with eating the way I know I need to. My weight has been fluctuating lately, due to stress and trouble finding time to exercise. But I am not losing hope! You can do this, too. Look at what you have been doing and find one place you can make an improvement. Once that is habit, look for another, and another. I am constantly tweaking, trying new things, adjusting. Remember that this is a lifestyle change, not a diet that will stop once you reach that goal.

As far as the house, with 5 kids, grad school, and dh who is as busy as I am, the house doesn't stay company ready. I have just had to decide that if that company cares that the house isn't perfect, I probably don't care about their opinion anyway! I used Flylady.net before, and still use some of the concepts from there. I spend 15 minutes working on one room each day, and that has to be enough.

Lift your head up! You are worth taking care of and treating yourself well! emoticon

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LULUBELLE65 5/28/2012 5:06AM

    I know for me, I cannot take everything on at once; I get overwhelmed and freak out and either binge or just give up. I think the reason I have had some success this time around is because I started very small. All I did the first few weeks was drink 8 glasses of water and track everything I ate. I didn't worry about making the calorie range I was targeting, or about getting the proper nutrients.

Then, after I got tracking and drinking water to be a habit, I started trying to eat more fruits and veggies. I told myself I could have whatever I wanted as long as I ate all those fruits and veggies. it is amazing how much less room you have in your body for ice cream when it is filled with bananas.

At that point, I could feel some differences, less bloated, clothing fit better, etc., and it was easy to make the move to counting calories. I am not perfect certainly, and there are days I mess up, but I know I feel better when I eat better, and even if I don't lose another pound, that is a benefit I intend to keep. The other thing I do that helps me a lot is to look at my eating as a weekly tally, rather than a daily one. If I go over on one day, I don't worry as long as I am within the calorie range for the week.

It's not all or nothing. Make one change. Once it is a habit, make another. Allow yourself room to indulge occasionally.

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KINDRA96 5/28/2012 4:27AM

    I know what its like to be in a vicious cycle of hopelessness. I know what its like to be discouraged from weight loss because you don't get the results you want. I know what it's like to want to have hope but to be too burden by other factors such as low self esteem and other things that build up. You are not alone. I don't mean to sound cliche or like an Oprah wanna-a-be but you can do this. I've lost weight and gained it back before but now I'm on the right track. It takes time to find out whats right for you and times when you relapse and mess up. Don't give up, this is motivation. Now you know what not to do this time. Try something else. Remember success is not achievement with no failures on the way, success is moving from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. I hope this helps. Good luck to you and stay positive even though its easier said than done. emoticon

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Sunday, May 06, 2012

The last three weeks I got all my diet books together and I read them and got out the best advices. And I have about ten different books!!!

After reading all those books, I became enthusiastic about it and really wanted to start the last weightloss program ever.

I have two books in wich the writers state that eating clean, the way you find products in nature is the best way to give your body what it needs. And by giving it what it needs, it will stop screaming for chocolate, icecream, cookies etc etc. I believe that's true, because now I put in raw veggies, more fruits (not too much!) and nuts, I have less cravings and I stop eating sooner, because I'm full.

Only on evenings when I'am alone and bored, I eat lots of stuff I really don't need, but I know it's not a physical problem, just an emotional one...

So after reading those books, I made an action plan. A guide for living my life healthy. I will put it down here:

* every friday I will make a plan for eating and exercising. The plan for eating will have veggies and fruits of the season and I will be able to get all of it at the farmers market.
* twice a week I will get fresh produce and I will plan the moments in my calendar
* I will cook less, so we don't have to throw stuff out and I don't have to eat more than i need. (I only need what fits in the palms of my hand, because that is supposed to be the size of my stomach!!!)
* at dinner, I will make 2 or 3 types of veggies, and I will add raw veggies to my lunch. i also will try to cook some veggies I've never used before and add them to my recipes
* eat more fish
* bake my own bread, starting next month, because I've never done that before and it's kind of expensive if you start and we need to be careful with our money this month.
* keeping a food journal. Not here, but on paper. So I will recognise bad patterns
* drink a glass of water every hour, just not while eating
* drink green juices every day
* take vitamins
* choose 1 day a week when I can let loose a little, but still make good choices... I don't have to eat a whole chocolatebar
* make a plan what I can eat at parties. it has to be something I really love, why bother eating it, if it's not something I really really love to eat?
* set the table for dinners (we eat in front of the tv). make eating important
* Move every day. The gym, zumba in the attick, dancing, walking, going somewhere on a bike, it doesn't matter
* go outside every day
* do my cesarexercises and meditate every day
* planning my tv every week: what do I really want to see?
* no more than 30 min a day of computergames (wii fit is NOT a computergame in that way of course)
* do something in the household or garden every day. Can be really small.
* get enough sleep/ rest and balance rest/ activities. Get up on time, take a shower immediately (I walk around in my pyjama's and by 3 o clock PM I will get my shower, only to find out that the day is almost gone)
* give my skin a weekly treat
* draw weekly, at least an hour
* do my singin exercises weekly
* evaluate dayly, reward myself for accomplishments eand write down compliments and victories, for when days are rough.

This is my actionplan for now. It doesn't have to be perfect right away, I am allowing myself to make mistakes. every step I do in the right direction is one step closer to my goal. It's not going to be easy, but I really want to be healthy!

So wish me luck and you may copy this plan for yourself, if ou think it will help you :) I hope it does!!!!

Now is the time, the time for me! Not another start, but a more planned start. Enjoying life's possibilities any way I can! I hope to give everyone that reads this a boost of enthusiasm and belief!

with love from Holland,

Nienke (Kjoetiepaai)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON-MARIE 5/6/2012 7:28PM

  Nienke, good for you!

Clean eating is awesome.

Remember to come by the "Girlies Ditching100+ pounds" team so I and the other scan support and encourage you.

Be blessed,

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THINNYGINNY 5/6/2012 6:40PM

    This will work - I know because your plan is basically what i am doing - and what the books tell you is right on - you will lose cravings - took me a few weeks - but now I am never hungry. I eat around 1200-1400 cals a day - but it is all veggie/protein/whole grain - and my body is getting so many NUTRIENTS now - sometimes I eat a small lunch mid afternoon - cause I forgot earlier. You would know why that is a big deal if you knew me!! I am losing weight - but am feeling great and satisfied. i can live like this forever. Go slow - find some good recipes you love - go easy on your body with exercise so you don't hurt anything - but yeah - you got it - not only will you lose weight with your plan - your body will love you for it!!!

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