Thursday, July 24, 2014
So, I've been struggling these past few months. Obviously. What with the house remodeling and antibiotic and ugh.
We put Walter down. The vet said he would deteriorate pretty quickly. He might recover but once we saw the signs of internal bleeding, we knew. He was vomiting and not himself on that Monday night. I knew it'd be my last night with him. I slept downstairs with him, knowing that I might wake up to find him gone. He wasn't... But we took him in that day. I won't watch someone else suffer so I can have a few more moments.. We took rock in as well so he could be there to say goodbye to his brother.
I will pick his ashes up tomorrow. Some will go in the urn with Duncan but most will be spread in our stream.
Our kitchen is being torn out little by little.
I got the upstairs all painted and now it's just two more walls that I can't do because of the height and then the upstairs will be completely done! Except for our bathroom. :)
I am currently ripping up the tiles on our kitchen floor and have taken most of the dishes out of the cupboards. Surprisingly, I'm taking this all rather well. I hate chaos but this, for the Moment is a controlled chaos. The mess is being kept to a minimum and that's all I ask for.
Our yard has completely fallen to me. That's 6 acres almost of mowing and weeding and etc.. Add in a busted mower and grass that grows faster than anything I've seen... And add that to all the things I have to do inside (finished painting stairway, painted ceiling of doggie dining room, etc) and I'm overwhelmed.
I've been doing two big black husky bags of weeds a day and trying to haul some of the brush..
The truth of it is, I'm effing exhausted. My back and legs constantly hurt and I am just so tired.
Add that with the 90 minutes a day biking I've been doing every day.
I wake up tired.
So I have gotten back into the exercise routine. 90 minutes most days biking. My weight had creeped to 150 and that's just not acceptable.
Today I am 144, almost 143.
I feel better. I look better.
I've even gotten in some strength training although with the hauling of rocks and brush, I probably don't need it. :)
My eating has been exceptional, if I do say so myself. And I do!
I'm mainly eating fruits and vegetables.. Cheese and nuts.
Yeah you read that right. The vegetarian that hates vegetables is eating vegetables.
I've added in a protein shake thing ....no, not a shake. I can't stand snakes. A little thing of fruit punch that has 84% of protein in it.
It's 180 calories and I hate giving that up, those 200 calories, but I can't do shakes.
So, those of you that are friends with me on Facebook, I ask you not to mention this there until a time when I have divulged this info..
We are currently trying to conceive.
Which is why I'm on protein..
I went to a midwife center here to check them out and see if this is the way I would like to go when there is a child, and yes, I will be going with them.. And after reviewing my history and eating habits etc, she said I should get some protein shakes so that's the reasoning for that.
I think that's it.
Life, death, weight, calories, remodel. Check. :)
Thursday, June 12, 2014
You get a fat ass.
It's been rough here. So rough.
To begin with, I went to the dermatologist about face and demanded to come off of the antibiotic that was seriously causing me to be so fatigued that I could barely move. He said no.
I am now on half the dose and feeling much much like my old self. A little fatigued but nothing like I was.
The house is in a constant state of chaos.
Got bedroom painted. Got dining room painted. Got family room painted--finished that today. The floors are being refinished on Monday or Tuesday so all the furniture from living room,dining room, foyer and family room has to be removed.
Once that's all done, the rooms need to be wiped down and put back in order and then the hallways get painted as well as the kitchen being ripped out.
Due to the painting, I just haven't had time or energy to workout. A few days this week I did get short workouts in but then the husband scheduled the floor refinishing and since we needed to paint before that, I've been hauling ass to get that room done.
The scale has not been overly kind nor overly terrible. Today I'm 145.
This next week with the floor refinishing means that I'm going to be cooped up with the dogs upstairs for four days at least all day. I'm going to bring the bike into the bedroom and get in some much needed miles.
I don't muchly care about the scale right now.. But I see a huge difference in my butt. Literally. Lots of squats are in the agenda this next week.
We've been going to eat a lot lately... There's been a lot going on where we are out for hours and it's more out of necessity.
So that's where I'm at.
That medicine really kicked my butt. I thought perhaps that it was me messing up but as soon as I switched doses, it was like night and day on how I felt. Whereas before I would just paint and be content with that, now I'm a little pissy if I can't get in a short workout and I'm doing crunches every now and then.
So, that's where I am.
Wednesday, May 07, 2014
so, everyone knows about the face wash debacle that has scarred my face, im thinking for life since its now been 2 months... and the antibiotics that i have to be on..
it is still sucking majorly with them. so fatigued.
i begin each morning waking up more tired than before i went to bed. but i plan to make it a great day. and then i end up sitting on the couch saying that i cant do it.
having serious heartburn related issues as well. swallowing is extremely painful. i mean, i swallow once and have to clutch my chest for a good minute and then take a minute more to gather up my courage to take another swallow.
so, things arent good here.
add in the renovations to the house of preparing to have kitchen ripped out, laundry room has been torn apart since april... just got that painted and back together as it is going to be until we get cabinets.
bedroom is all taken apart for painting...
its been crazy amounts of stress.
so i was moping around yesterday. i was incredibly sore and yesterday was the first day since sunday i havent spent all day painting. and i mean ALL DAY.
i had grand plans for a workout and a migraine side tracked me.
when i woke up, i was feeling so down on myself.
like i cant do this.
like im going to gain all the weight back.
like im failing.
and then i got to thinking.
first, the doctor DID tell me to put on 10-15 pounds.
second, i am holding in at 140-143... today im 143 but last friday i was 140. and we ate out twice this weekend so 143 is respectable. [oh and i forgot about the pizza incident so make that 3 times and at a later date, i will recount the pizza incident of 2014...]
third, 143 is freaking respectable.
most importantly, how do i feel?
well, aside from feeling like snot from the antibiotics..
am i feeling porky?
the answer is slightly.
i do feel a little porky from not doing strength training. but other than that, no, i feel just as good as i did at 138, which is where im striving to get back to.
and then i got to thinking that it is so stupid to be so down about a stupid number when i feel okay.
so thats where im at.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
im still here.
so last time i was here, it was 4/2... at least, last time i was here blogging.
the days leading up to the 10th were rough--husband's sister and her family were coming down on their way south for the night. that meant that i cleaned entire house top to bottom. the 10th was the husband's birthday and also my doctor appointment about my face. [more on that in a minute.]
the 10th and 11th were okay. i was cooking and cleaning. i didnt eat much.
the 9th, however, i was asked if it would be okay that my nephew came down for the next week. that meant that saturday morning at 5 am the husband's family left and there i was, up cooking and washing bedding for more guests that arrived at 11.
unplannedness sends me into a tailspin. since i eat the same thing every day and the husband makes do with a lot of thrown together meals, i had to find recipes that were lower calorie, kid friendly, mostly vegetarian or could be made vegetarian... in two days.
i wasnt exactly pleased. of course i was happy to see bird. i wasnt pleased on the short notice. if you know spring break is coming up, and you know there is a chance of spending it here, one would think one might inform the person.......
anyways, the plan was: get up in the mornings and go for a walk. then in the evening, go for a walk with the husband and dogs.
well, that didnt happen.
one day bird and i went for a walk. the next day, he got up at 11 and we had plans and there it goes for the rest of the week.
i didnt track my food--i never do when company is here.
and i ate and ate.
we went to a pizza buffet, and went for pizza two other times.
when company came, i was 138 on april 11th.
when company left, i was 143 on easter sunday.
of course, im back to 141 today cos its never real weight...
back to mostly tracking and getting in workouts.
my doctors appt: talked to him about side effects of antibiotics..
severe heartburn, severe fatigue, increased dizziness on rising to a standing position or when i get in shower.
verdict: suck it up. have to be on antibiotic for foreseeable future.
im not crazy--the fatigue is very severe with this drug.
so im doing what i can.
ive done short strength training workouts this week so yay me.
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