KITTYROXX   48,238
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Still alive - but barely!

Monday, February 02, 2009

I know I've disappeared in the last couple of weeks, my mom was in town until yesterday and I have been ill for the last 8 days. This bug will not leave! I do find it a coincidence that I suddenly got sick when I started consuming trash after eating clean for awhile... Connection?

I am scheduling myself rest today (complete with chick movies and soup) so that hopefully tomorrow I will be recovered enough to run and drop by the gym tomorrow. I have my first 10k on Sunday and I am freaking out! I have not run since the last day I felt healthy - Sat. Jan. 24. **sigh**

Hopefully February will be a month of a great 10k, losing the pesky pounds I gained (I weighed 111 today - a 3 lb gain in ONE week - yikes!), getting back into my half marathon training as well as a totally awesome and kick butt workout schedule 5-6 days a week.

I'll write more later when my head clears itself of this insane head cold.

Wish me luck!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DRAGONFLY180 2/4/2009 7:18PM

    i'd be sweating it if i'd not run that long and had a race coming up, but maybe this is just what your body needed - a nice, good rest. get a couple of runs in before the big day, and you'll probably do fine. good luck and have fun!!!

Comment edited on: 2/4/2009 7:18:43 PM

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MINICOOPER452 2/4/2009 7:00PM

    I guess I'm with the rest of 'em.....I knew there had to be something going on since we hadn't seen you in awhile. I miss the pix updates of your maaaavelous transformation and the great quips you come up with. Let me know if I can do anything to help ya out. Stay warm, drink lots of fluids, take lots of Zicam......I swear by the stuff. Feel better soon.
Love and Blessings.
emoticon not entirely sure, but I'M pretending that's chicken soup......

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KARBIE18 2/4/2009 7:13AM

    Yikes! I knew there must be a reason you were MIA. I'm glad to see you are feeling better, and hope you're well on the road to recovery before you have to run. Hope, even though you weren't feeling well, you enjoyed your visit with your mom.

Take care,

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    Sorry to hear you have been ill, hope you are better soon!

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LILHLFPINT 2/2/2009 7:12PM

    (oh no! i'm so sorry to hear that. i was wondering how you were doing.

i hope you feel better soon.)

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    Glad to see you back!!! Sorry you weren't feeling haven't been eating peanut products have you?!?!?! You will do great in you it's your first 10k so no matter how you do, it's still a personal best!!! Be gentle with yourself and have a great time!!! Depending on how I feel after my long run on Saturday, I may volunteer at the Firecracker!!! I'll let you know and maybe we can meet up after you run!!! Have a great week!!! Jackie!!!

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KITRAE1 2/2/2009 2:35PM

    *wishing you luck*

I hope that you feel better soon....that you kick butt in your marathon....and that you enjoyed mom's visit.

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"If running was my boyfriend, I'd guess you'd say we've been fighting all week."

Friday, January 16, 2009

With the start of half marathon training, new gym schedule and restarting strength training after taking a one month+ break all on the same week, I was destined on a one way road towards train wreck that may somewhat equate to that picture of red-lipsticked Britney sitting on the sidewalk crying.

In anticipation of a very hilly 10k (461' gain for a straight 2.75 miles) AND HM (703' minimum elevation gain - yikes!), on Monday I tried to run a new route filled with taunting hills. Result? My eyes brimmed with tears at mile 4 and I negotiated a compromise with myself to where I won't stop running if I cut out the second half of the hills I had planned. After the run, I was so exhausted to where I could not even pet my cat and my eyes were glazed and staring at the wall. You can say I was traumatized. emoticon

Tuesday: I woke up somewhat sore and it was hard to get out of bed. I attended a Super Sculpt class which seemed easy but that night, some more soreness came on. Good thing I skipped the Pilates class!

Wednesday: I could barely drag myself out of bed to get DH ready for work - and OMG my butt was so sore!!!! Just sitting bed made me wince. Could it be from all the butt squeezes in the sculpting class??? I went on a short run which felt like it took foooooooooorever but it helped shake out the soreness. I decided to skip a yoga strengthening class and opted for a stretching class instead. Ahhh!!!!!!!! Me likey.

Thursday: I did an hour aerobics that concentrated on legs in the first half hour and waist up in the second. TORTURE!!!! We worked on muscles I haven't called upon since the first half of December and my confidence plummeted as I took (gentle) orders from the super-fit should-be-on-the-cover-of-Oxygen-magazine instructor. She is no joke. I went home beyond exhausted - I collapsed in bed at about noon and didn't get up until about 6 pm. (DH didn't appreciate that I was bouncing off the walls at 9 pm though - heehee)

Friday: Tempo Run day: 1 mi slow jog, 3 mi 8:39 pace, 1 mi slow jog. I've been agonizing over this because I've been practicing on slowing my pace that I wasn't sure if I could do it anymore. In addition, I've been SO EXHAUSTED! To combat my fear, for the past few days I used visualization exercises, which calmed my jitters a bit. I decided to use my regular route. WRONG DECISION - my regular route is hilly!. At about mile 2.5-ish, I broke down to a walk (or "pathetic crawl," as some would describe it) for about 1/4 mile and from there, slooooowly jogged and completed fartleks instead (I even ran up to the 6:34 pace - wow!!!). Plus, did I mention that it was 75 degrees in the morning???? Holy cats. I finished the mileage (with a beet red face!), came home for a snack (I almost threw it up) and sat a good few minutes in shower on the floor. I wasn't sure about attending a yoga class an hour later, but I'm glad I did! Thanks to the class, I came out once again a relaxed, less sore, and a little more optimistic. Gotta love yoga.

Of course, I can't just vent and leave it as is. Tough times are excellent opportunities to learn and grow - and this week definitely fits squarely in the box called "challenge."

Firstly... (I got this idea from one of my favorite Sparkteams)

I ACCEPT that I bit off more than I could chew this week.
I ACCEPT that my body needs rest.
I ACCEPT that I am exhausted.
I ACCEPT that I am afraid of the elevation involved in the HM.
I ACCEPT that I can't hold up the 8:39 pace on a hilly route, and especially when I am exhausted.
I ACCEPT that I need to recover.
I ACCEPT that rebuild will follow breakdown.
I ACCEPT that I have a long way to go.
I ACCEPT that I need to learn patience.
I ACCEPT that this is hard because "There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."
I ACCEPT that this time will pass at its own time.
I ACCEPT that my body has a timetable separate from my mind and heart.
I ACCEPT that I am turning 29, not 19.
I ACCEPT that I needed change and challenge, which will help me grow.
I ACCEPT that everyone needs to start somewhere.
I ACCEPT that I am not listening to my body close enough.
I ACCEPT the heatwave blanketing SoCal.
I ACCEPT that I need to work hard.
I ACCEPT that hard work does not always feel good.
I ACCEPT that the finish after hard work is delicious.
I ACCEPT that not every run will be glorious, but most will be.
I ACCEPT that my body may crave more nourishment.
I ACCEPT that the harder I work, the more my body needs me to listen.
I ACCEPT that I need to "trust the process."

Secondly, my plan.

1. With the exception of yesterday, I am not eating enough carbs. With the mileage I'm putting in, I should be aiming for 225-250g of carbs for energy and NEVER below 200g. The exhaustion could also be coming from the lack thereof as well. The body is like an employee - you can't crack the whip without extra compensation or risk your employee going postal on your booty. With this in mind, heavier training means MORE FOOD. I need to hammer this into my head.

2. Possibly find a new route to do the tempo runs. My regular route is hilly, but with long runs on the monster hills, it's too much for me right now. I need a flat stretch of road.

3. Use the iPod again? I ditched my iPod awhile ago because it was sooo much more fun to just run on my own, but never underestimate the amount and power of motivation that comes through music! I'm not sure about this though because I like to be aware of my surroundings and I feel a lot safer without it. Plus, music gets annoying when I'm trying to concentrate on breathing and form. Hmm.

4. TEA DOES NOT HYDRATE. What was I thinking??? I've been drinking my jasmine green tea first things in the mornings, but it seemed to do nothing but dehydrate me during my run today. Water rules!

5. Even though the classes are incredibly fun, I may need to scale back a few. Except for yoga of course. :):):)

6. Fall in love with running again. If running was my boyfriend, I'd guess you'd say we've been fighting all week. I hate that I'm looking at it like a calorie burner these days instead of an activity that I sing Lionel Richie songs to. I think it's time to hit the books about running again... Maybe find inspirational running quotes... Stories... Maybe even peruse my old blogs from when I did the C25k and One Hour Runner plans. Running and I need some darn good make up you-know-whats!!!

7. Implement a reward system into my training schedule? I'm atypical to where I don't respond to rewards, but who knows. It's worth thinking through.

Well that's it... I'm off to the spa for some r&r. Hey - that's a reward, isn't it? ;-)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSICA0431 2/1/2009 6:10AM

    Well, I realize you have probably bounced back from the "fight".
Kitty you will come back from this stronger than ever. You have come so far. It is okay to take the rest you need. The guilt will get you back on track the next day. It always does. I think the only thing that would slow you down is an injury and you get injuries by doing to much, as in exercising when you are tired. So take a break (just for a day, lady). Allow yourself that time, it is okay! really!

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LILHLFPINT 1/20/2009 12:40PM

    (aw, i hope you had a good time at the spa.

you might say you've been fighting but i definitely see you trying to work things out. ::smiles::

i find everytime i do a new exercise or move, i really feel it but as time goes on, it gets easier and less painful. you might want to keep that in mind.)

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    You are handling the pressure great!

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LILTROUBLE 1/17/2009 9:26PM

    Wow that sounds like a very rough week. I am so proud of you for pushing through. And you are so fast!! wow.
I think your plan moving forward is great.
You can do this. Make up with running and enjoy :)

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DRAGONFLY180 1/17/2009 11:27AM

    that was a pretty tough week after your time off. also, you are definitely right about finding some flat routes to run. i'd think running all hilly routes would lead to injury. hope next week goes better as you implement the changes you've come up with. good luck!

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KARBIE18 1/16/2009 6:41PM

    Yes, rest, eat, scale back. All of the above. You are doing amazingly well, but, as you've figured out, you have to take care of your body if you want to do well. You CAN do it!

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    What 10K???? What 1/2 marathon??? Did I miss something??? Please fill me in before my head explodes!!! LOL!!! Jackie!!!

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I had a very discouraging run on Monday. In anticipation of the outrageous hill in both the upcoming 10k and Half Marathon, I planned this even more outrageous route for yesterday with hills that would make a rollercoaster jealous. Result? It kicked my booty so bad that I had to cut out half of the hills in order to finish the distance! It left me glazed and glassy eyed for the rest of the day, thus missing the yoga class I was so excited about, all because I ended up staring at the wall with no energy left to even type a single letter on this keyboard. It made me question if I wanted to honor those commitments... Or even running for that matter.

My confidence was half restored this morning when I went to a Super Sculpt class (DH got me a gym membership last week btw!!!). I was nervous when I stepped in because I am this super clumsy gal with ZERO coordination (see Note below). Furthermore, by the time I fetched a step, the other women already snaked all the spaces in the back, forcing me to take one in the front so that every one can see me possibly fall on my face - arrrrrgh!!!!

My anxiety level lessened when I caught the buzz from the women about how she was the best instructor in the entire gym... 1 hour later, rumor confirmed! I surprised myself by being able to keep up with the instructor on her instructions with zero mishaps. Whereas yesterday's run deflated my confidence in my fitness level, today's class put back a little spring that left my stride.

I am one of those pathetic people who couldn't catch a ball even if you *passed* it to me, so you can imagine my anxiety level when it comes to receiving instructions to do something even as simple as the grapevine. This is why I like running - no balls involved whatsoever! All I have to focus on is putting one foot in front of the other, which is enough work for me.

This week's workout schedule:

Sun. Jan. 11 - (off)
Mon. Jan. 12 - Run 7 miles w/hill training
Tue. Jan. 13 - Sculpting class
Wed. Jan. 14 - Run 2 miles, light strengthening class, stretching class
Thu. Jan. 15 - 1 hr aerobics/strengthening class, yoga?
Fri. Jan. 16 - Run 5 mi tempo w/hill training, yoga :)
Sat. Jan. 17 - Run 2 mi

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Your attitude is simply amazing!!! You can turn lemons into lemonade and make it taste like champagne!!! Keep up the great work and one day soon you will be running those hills like they are nothing!!! Maybe you should start a spark team for uncoordinated athletes!!! I'll be the second member!!! LOL!!! Have a great day and I'll see you soon!!! Jackie!!!

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    Sorry this keeps repeating!

Comment edited on: 1/14/2009 8:19:42 AM

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    sorry this posted so many times emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/14/2009 8:20:21 AM

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    You have the right attitude! and your doing great on workouts, keep it up!

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JANEYJAYE 1/14/2009 12:44AM

    Glad your confidence returned. And congrats on taking the class despite your reservations on doing that type of class. What a great turn around! Awesome!

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LILHLFPINT 1/13/2009 11:58PM

    (::hugs:: i'm sorry about your rough run but i'm glad you had a better workout today. i feel you on the clumsy, my boot camp instructor even points out how i need to be more aware of my surroundings when i bump into things during class. d'oh.

hopefully you'll be a little easier on yourself for the next run so you can do the hills but not kill yourself.)

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KARBIE18 1/13/2009 8:36PM

    Glad to hear your confidence was restored. Sounds like you have good reason to be proud of yourself.

I'm sure you'll get those hills - I think you expected too much from yourself, and may have to take it more gradually. You ARE a runner. You can do it!

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Bob Greene's 5 Questions to Consider

Friday, January 09, 2009

I don't watch all the Oprah shows (I skip all the ones where she interviews celebrities - snooooze!), but I love the content on her show. With all the complaints everywhere about how sick people are of celebrities with unrealistic lives, etc, here is Oprah, confessing that even with all the money in the world, even SHE failed at keeping the weight off! If fat were a person, he/she would be the MOST non-racist non-class-ist nonjudgmental in the entire world. Her candid confession - something all of us can relate - on Jan. 5 was inspiring and once again, I was ready and raring to transform my life situation and spirit with challenges courtesy of Oprah.

I was SO excited to hear Oprah announce to her students that there was "homework" to be done. I thoroughly enjoyed the mental and emotional exercise though writing in the workbooks on the Oprah site during the A New Earth series, so there was no hesitation to click to create a new workbook for Bob Greene's weight loss series (he addresses maintenance - an area where content is rare!). The following are my answers to Bob Greene's 5 Questions to Consider, the first "homework" assigned before the live webcast on Monday. If you're interested, you can read more about it here:


A before pic - Dec 2006

*What are you really hungry for?*

I am very hungry - starving? - for health. I deserve to be healthy!!! Yes, I deserve a strong body resistant to diseases, ailments and injuries. I also deserve the vitamins and nutrition that come with whole foods. My arteries do not deserve to be clogged and my heart does not deserve to work so hard just to go up one flight of stairs.

I am hungry for accomplishments that show that it's never too late to carve a healthier body out of a ragged body that isn't used to any rigors of exercise. I just started running in August but - even though people recently told me I can't - I WILL run a marathon this year. And this isn't just for people to see, it's for me to prove to myself so I *know* that I have the power to do anything I put my mind to - even in the physical/fitness area.

I am hungry to maintain euphoria, which is something exercise provides me on a daily basis. As long as I continue my workouts, I can battle the depression that plagues me every so often.

I am hungry for the skills to deal with stress so that even when the world crashes down, I can take a breath and say, "I accept that. Now, let's make a plan."

*Why are you overweight?*

I'm no longer overweight, when I was, on the surface I'd answer the question with "lack of exercise," however looking below the surface, I look back and say that I was slightly depressed by not knowing who I am. Since then, I found running and from there, I discovered confidence and became more self-assured. I am also stronger emotionally and mentally and less or a doormat. I can stand my ground now and less of a people pleaser - although I still am.

*Why have you been unable to maintain weight loss in the past?*

First of all, I didn't accept the necessity of exercise in one's life in order to not just maintain weight, but for good health. Exercise and diet meant fitting into a pair of skinny jeans and looking cute in my bikini in a few months, never health.

Since I never thought about health, I never connected issues like heart disease, diabetes and osteoporosis as possibilities in my future. Again, the skinny jeans and bikini: every bite I _didn't_ take was not about possibly preventing diabetes and every dollop of sweat I created was never about preventing a stroke in my future.

Put these these twisted thoughts together and you will understand why exercising 3 days a week were only a means to an end. The 4 days of "rest" did not mean a time for my body to heal the new tears I put into my muscles, but just relief that I get to sit back and do nothing all day. No wonder rest days upped the temptation for me to quit exercising. And I'd quit exercising, I'd go back to my old eating habits and a mind polluted with body-hating thoughts. It was a cycle and one that I hope to finally break this time.

*What in your life is not working?*

Right now, my strength training is not working. Right before the trip, I simply stopped. I need to get back on it. I need a plan.

Further down, I don't feel like my commitment skills are working. I'm getting married, but I am SO scared! My mind spins in "What If" circles and I seem to look for reasons to _not_ get married. The good thing is that I recognize that it's just me and not him. Right before I got married to my exhusband, my mind was screaming "NONONONONO" which obviously screamed that he was not the right person. My mind is not doing that now, it's just freaking out.

I also don't feel like I do anything. Running and SparkPeople fills the void, but I don't feel constructive towards anything "worthwhile." Maybe as I make friends at the gym, this will change. I'm also thinking about looking into Personal Training, for reasons unknown. Maybe I should take some kinesiology classes? Hmm... Maybe the lack of stress in my life is making me crave stress?

*Why do you want to lose weight?*

Before, I lost weight because I wanted to look good for 30, but now I'm burning fat because it's kind of fun! I'm doing what I love (running!) and I am so excited to see what I can turn my body into, without any expectations about who I want to look like - the reason why I never ever post pictures of celebrities I want to look like (pictures are fake anyway).

Whereas my spirit and excitement in experimenting with my body is what keeps me going, what keeps me from eating that extra piece of cake (my weakness) is my wedding at the end of this year. Same goes for my ST - or lack thereof. This is why I joined a gym yesterday. I just need a plan to get this going. (But of course, once I get back in ST, it will be about building muscle as for health rather than looking toned, which will be treated more as a cherry on top of the icing).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Thanks for sharing your answers, you are doing awesome!

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LILHLFPINT 1/10/2009 11:23PM

    (congratulations on joining a gym yesterday!

i love that you answered all the questions. thank you for sharing your responses.

congratulations on really finding a healthier balance in your life.)

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No More Moping, No More Guilt!

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

I am back from the cruise plus recovery. (Needing a vacation after the vacation... You know what I mean, right???)

Recovery as the surprise that struck me when I saw that I gained 5+ pounds from one week of gluttony... SIGH. That means I gained a little more than 25% of the weight I lost. SIGH SIGH.

Points from the cruise
- I ran 3 days around the ship, once during the gorgeous sun setting over the famously turquoise Caribbean waters - bliss! There was also an occasion where the salty water sprayed my face... But heck I didn't mind - I was running in the middle of the Caribbean!
- I took my FIRST spin class! It was headed by this Australian chick who could really yell and talented in the art of torturing from 6 feet away. After the class, I was completely drenched head to toe and ready for a HUGE meal and a nap. My crotch also hurt from the seat - ick! emoticon
- I exercised good healthy eating habits... for the first few days. LOL Towards the middle of the cruise I completely lost control and dove head first into every dessert station I could find at every meal, PLUS the midnight dessert buffet celebrations! Goodness, I was soooo bad. emoticon
- I got attacked by a sloth. Yes you read right - a SLOTH!!! It's a good thing he's really cute. The good thing about the incident is that it made me aware that my tetnus expiry date was coming up and so I marched down to the Medical Center on the ship and got me a tetnus shot (which, by the way, had my bicep hurting for a week - wah!)

I completely moped during the first couple of days I came back about the weight I gained, but something snapped when I woke up on New Year's Day. I mean, what's the point of acting depressed over a simple situation really and not do anything??? It was that very moment that I got my lazy butt out of bed and completed an easy 2-miler - and at one point, was running into the 7 minute mile area!!! I think it was that and coming home euphoric when the running bug bit me. The clouds of guilt dissapated and once again I was enthusiastic about fitness and clean eating again. HURRAH!

Oh oh oh before I forget, I wanted to make some updates on my running goals this year:

Feb. 8 - Firecracker 10k
May 2 - Palos Verdes Half Marathon
Oct 12 - Long Beach Marathon

Another change I made to my running program was to start running 5 days a week, with 2 of the days easy 20 min/2 mile runs. Moving my schedule around also allows me to run only once day on the weekend - a perfect compromise with DH, who felt a bit outed since I started my new relationship with running.

My running schedule for the week:

Sun Jan 4 - (off)
Mon Jan 5 - 60 min HR Zone 3
Tue Jan 6 - 20 min HR Zone 3
Wed Jan 7 - 30 min Tempo
Thu Jan 8 - (off)
Fri Jan 9 - 40 min HR Zone 4
Sat Jan 10 - 20 min HR Zone 3

I am so excited, 2009 will be the best ever!!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    You can do it!

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DAWNO64 1/8/2009 1:12PM

    Don't worry; those pounds will drop right back off within two weeks - I'm betting on it!! Looked at your vacation photos; envious of your time in the sun!!! But I didn't see those five pounds anywhere. Your mom won't notice!!! Just relax and enjoy your time with her. Looks like your DH got a bit of a sunburn, so that means you spent plenty of time out enjoying yourselves. Glad you had a fun trip!!

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KARBIE18 1/8/2009 7:25AM

    I also know what you mean about needing a vacation from your vacation. Glad you're back, though.

Attacked by a sloth! Sorry, but I couldn't help but laugh (now that it's over, of course).

With your motivation, and the good habits you established before you left, you'll get that weight off in no time. This is just the one step segment of the "two steps forward, one step back" theme. Time for those forward steps.

Glad you enjoyed your vacation. It sounds wonderful!

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    Glad you're back!!! I saw your list of race!!! VERY IMPRESSIVE!!! Just wanted to remind you Surf City has a 5K!!! emoticon Don't worry about the 5 pounds..once you get back into your routine, it will melt away!!! See you soon!!! Jackie!!!

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THATMARY 1/7/2009 10:17PM

    Hey! Glad you had a good (and interesting vacation- how many people can say that they were attacked by a sloth? You'll have that story for years to come :). I know what you mean about the weight gain, but its a vacation what can you do? And you snapped out of it pretty quick. So, I'm glad your back, your safe, and still kicking butt! Great job! You've motivated me to just get out there and just run. emoticon

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LAURA2BZ 1/7/2009 9:31PM

    Oooooo the cruise sounds so fun!! Sorry to hear about the sloth emoticon and the bike seat... At least you've gotten yourself back on track with the running! You will have that 5+ lbs gone in no time flat! You are so motivated and such an inspiration! I'm so glad you are back, I really missed you!!

Laura emoticon

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DRAGONFLY180 1/7/2009 9:27PM

    sounds like the trip was fun and eventful. i'm afraid i'd be sea sick if i tried to run on a ship. i'd love to try spinning and think i might try it at my gym. anyway, congrats on getting out of your funk. good luck on training for those races this year!

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LILHLFPINT 1/7/2009 1:43PM

    (i'm glad you had a great time on your cruise. it's so funny how you always need a vacation after the vacation, i know exactly what you mean.

bleh about the weight gain. i feel your pain. i've let myself slide in the eating department and even though i've been exercising, the pounds are creeping up. isn't it funny how you can eat whatever you want for years and not exercise and your weight stays the same but lose a few pounds and it's SO hard to keep them off? crazy.

well, welcome back and happy new year! i agree, this is going to be an awesome year.)

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JESSICA0431 1/7/2009 10:08AM

    Their you ARE!!!!!!
I am so glad you are home safe!! I was so worried...I would be lost w/o my KITTY!!!

Now...I know you said you are back on track with the 5 pound gain from your vacation...but...just in case you need a little encouragment I am going to take this oppurtunity to try and put you back on that pedestal (in YOUR never left as far as I am concerned) where you belong!
5 pounds. That's it. You have lost more than that and you will lose this 5 pounds (if you haven't already) plus more if you want to. You set achieve your goals. You are committed. You are so *strong*. I am not just saying that to give you the 'warm and fuzzies' I really mean it. You are an inspiration to me for a reason. Because you have your moments of struggle and then you pick yourself back up and dust your self off (along with some midnight buffet crumbs) and run towards that finish line.
Don't be afraid of the guilt...sometimes guilt is just what we need to remember where we do not want to be again. Feel it. Own it. Take responsibility for it. Then use that anger, sadness or pain and take it over your finish line with you! emoticon

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