Tuesday, December 16, 2008
A few days ago, someone found a light switch and turned on a lightbulb in my head.
I've accomplished a lot of cool stuff in my life, but there are a very few select items that I can stay I've been doing for an extended amount of time. I get really excited when I start projects, but once I reach a milestone or get good at a skill, I drop it like a hot coal and I'm on to something else completely different. I've always thought that it's just me being a commitment-phobe, but a few days ago I found out that it was NOT that at all.
It's all about GOALS - it is exactly that that spins my hamster wheel at dizzying, lightening fast speeds. An idea pops into my head and I think about it for a little while. Once I decide to do it, however, my focus is locked on like a missile target and there is absolutely no possible way any one can say or do to convince me otherwise - and I can also tear a pretty chunk off a person if someone dares to tell me NO! Interestingly, if anyone tells me that I *can't* do something (ability-wise), it adds even more fuel to the fire. It causes heartache and headache for the people around me (my poor DH!)... You can also imagine the hell I put my parents through as a "rebellious" teen.
I feel so much better knowing that commitment was never the problem; I just need goals to keep me interested. I'm afraid of gaining the weight back, but just the fear itself won't keep this weight off; it's continuing to strive towards some direction that will keep me in line. I'm also afraid that I will never be that person who can say they've been running for x amount of years, but I see now that as long as I schedule milestones, I will do it! Furthermore, ANNOUNCING these goals to the public will mean there's NO WAY I will back down. Yes... This should work finely!!!
My Goals for 2009:
1. Complete a 10k Race on February 8
2. Complete a 10k Race in under 60 minutes
3. Bike the LA Marathon (still not "feeling" it yet... we'll see)
4. Complete a half marathon
5. Complete the Long Beach Marathon in October!!!! (I was considering running the LA marathon in May, but I think biking it with my DH would be good quality time spent - and that is important)
6. Get in shape for a photo shoot in November/December (this means gym time)... I want to document exactly how I looked at 29!
ULTIMATE Goals (my dreams!)
1. Qualify to run in the Boston Marathon (whether or not this stays on the list depends on how I do in the half and full marathon)
2. Do an ultra marathon!!! (Ditto. I noticed that I am more of an endurance runner than speed, which is why I have this one my list. Maybe that's why I was born with bigger legs? lol)
3. Do a duathlon
4. Do a triathon - (I have a fear of water, but I may try to conquer this with swimming lessons next year. Why is it that I won't let others sway me, yet I allow myself to believe that I can't do something? Shuuush mind!)
5. Do a century ride
6. Come in first in my division in any running race
BTW - CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT IT WAS JUST IN JULY THAT I WAS A COUCH POTATO??? Some days, I scare myself. I'm surprised my DH hasn't asked me what I've done with the woman he proposed to!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
On Christmas Day of 2007, a cruise ship dropped us off on the beautiful island of Grand Turk. As we enjoyed the warm waters and delicious sun, I couldn't help but ogle at this mom of a toddler with the most AMAZING body ever. She didn't look like a model, but her body was better than most "normal" women I see - it was the first 6-pack I'd ever seen on a woman! And did I mention she was a mom???
I was shy and ashamed of my body. I had just finished dieting for a few months with exercise here and there, but next to this woman I felt like a blob! I felt like hiding my pasty white softness behind the beach towel and I think I was annoyed that my DH took a picture of me in my bathing suite, hence the twisting motion in the before/after picture - a poor attempt at trying to look thinner.
Fast forward to July 2008 - I was SO sick of being sick of my body. I started walking every day and stumbled onto SparkPeople very soon after. I started logging my food, learning what healthy really is, developed a support system among the most AWESOME Sparkers ever, and flew through the Couch to 5k Program!
Fast forward to November 2008 - I make different habits all of the time, but I have a lot of trouble actually committing to anything - or anyone! - for life. I remember sitting in my bathtub one day, asking myself the same question I ask every other day: "Do I see myself doing this a year from now?" Typically the answer is "Umm, we'll see" but on this particular day, I actually startled myself with a "HECK YES!" A couple of weeks later, I went to get my engagement ring resized - a super big deal to me. After it was done, I sat in my car and just gazed at the ring that now fit perfectly on my newly slim finger. It was that moment that I truly committed to my new lifestyle.
Thanksgiving was a test. I was a very bad girl for about a week, but I believe I truly showed how serious I am in my commitment when I got back on the horse towards clean eating and fitness... Hence the before/after pic I put together!!!
I leave for another Caribbean cruise on Dec. 18. This time, it will be MY turn fluttering around proudly in a bikini! (For the first time in my entire life, if I may add)
THANK YOU SPARKPEOPLE!!!!
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
It was last night when I got that email titled "You Are A Motivational Member." I paused, rubbed my eyes, looked again, and then considered getting some eye drops.
I mean seriously, it is the Sparkers who motivate ME. It's perusing and reading pages for hours on end that makes me jot down notes for to help me be more successful. It's my fellow Sparkers on my favorite SparkTeams who help me realize that I am not alone in this journey. It's the friendships and laughs we've shared over the boards that keep me going every day. SparkPeople is such a gift to my life.
Well, thank you so much to those who voted. This also means that I have no choice now but to work towards that 5%...
Monday, December 08, 2008
I got a new Garmin Forerunner 405!!!!! It is manly looking and pretty big on my wrist, but hopefully it will help me grow some you-know-whats in training to run longer, faster, harder and more efficient. I'm also excited that I will no longer be calculating my pace and distance by hand, saving time that can now be used towards more useful things like surfing the web, playing with my cats, taking out the trash, and - oh yeah! - the dreaded holiday shopping.
Of course this also means that I have now no choice but to continue to run; otherwise DH will NEVER let me forget that he sprung all that $$$ only to let it join with other gadget friends in the corner that are so sadly but busily collecting dust (Very typical of me)
I originally posted this is the SP Class Sparkteam, but reposting it here, since reflecting on the past year is bloggish:
Tell us how you were before SparkPeople (weight and/or measurements, attitudes, health, etc.). How are you doing now? How far are you from your goal?
+ I lost at least 10 pounds with SparkPeople! With the exception of building more muscle, I am pretty much at my goal.
What were your first impressions of: drinking 8+ cups/day, consuming 5+ fruits and veggies, exercising regularly (cardio and ST), sodium and fiber levels? How are you doing with that since then?
+ Water: Initially I was going through toilet paper by the case, but it's either I'm more used to it now or it's gotten better. Either way, I'm enjoying a clearer complexion.
+ Veggies: Wasn't a problem to begin with. I think I was a bunny in a prior life.
+ Exercising regularly: It's my lifestyle now, woohoo!
+ Sodium: I think I made a conscious decision to cut back in November and started cooking my own foods more. I'm amazed at how infrequently I now feel bloated. I can seem to taste food better too.
+ Fiber: I'm not sure if I was supposed to feel a difference, but it might be one of the reasons why I was able to lose weight.
Looking back, What are you most proud of?
+ I ran a 5k!!!
What were your greatest challenges and lessons?
+ Chocolate and I broke up. It was a toughie, but I had to say good-bye to Kit Kats, Snickers and Reeese's.
What did you learn about yourself?
+ I need more support than I admit
+ There's actually a workout I love!
+ I latch on to the past than I realized (hanging on to old clothes, waiting on resizing my ring, etc.)
Do you have a support network at home? Who was your biggest cheerleader?
+ My DH. It was really hard for him to deal with all the changes at first (eating healthy, making time to exercise on weekends and vacations too, logging my food), but he's always supported my new lifestyle. Bless him!
What attitudes, actions and habits are you choosing to let go of this year so you can begin fresh in the New Year?
+ Good bye guilt! Today is a new day.
+ Stop leaving DH in the dust. Include DH in my workouts by taking romantic walks. :)
If you had only one word to describe 2008, what would it be?
What do you look forward to the most?
+ I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!
+ New gym membership :):):)
+ My one year anniversary of mainataining a healthy lifestyle. That will be a first!!!
Describe your goals for 2009. Any milestones?
+ Maintain my new healthy lifestyle... Become the 5% who keep the weight off.
+ Race a 10k and a half marathon (gulp)
+ Look stupendously fabulous in a wedding dress
How will you have fun this year?
+ I'm going to try out my local running club. Connecting with runners online is fun, but I imagine running with a group will be a blast.
Finish this sentence: "2009 will be the year of..."
+ friendships, love and great health
Monday, December 01, 2008
I really plateaued this month. I point my French-manicured finger towards the injuries incurred back in the beginning of the month that sidelined me from running, but to be fair, there were other factors too that kept me from doing as much cardio as before - like boredom!!! With the exception of running, I am bored to tears of Curves and am considering asking DH for a REAL gym membership next year (pretty lights! sparkly machines! yoga! beautiful bodies to motivate me even more!). Until then, I'll just tearfully make do with bike rides and walks here and there like a spoiled princess brat.
So back to the weight issue, it wasn't until after I started running again and adjusted my nutritional intake that the scale started to move again, this time by one pound. It doesn't upset me though - I'm pretty happy where I'm at and I'm more focused on other things at the moment. Besides, I think I look much more cut than last month, so part of the weight I didn't lose could be a gain in muscle. I'll take that ANY day.
(Additional Note: I scaled my miles down this month by a lot, so this could be the reason why my weight didn't go down by much either)
Oh oh oh additional note: I've become super energetic - borderline hyper! - when I'm around people. Upsurge in confidence? Energy due to exercise? Who knows. But what I do know is that I startled myself when I went out to lunch with BFF. I run, I jump, I laugh and my energy does not stop. The old shy laid-back me is gone!
Ok - I really tried to do the goodie-without-guilt thing but it is just not for me. When I do indulge, I just need to plan heavy workouts around it and make sure I *ALWAYS* share it with HB - and if DH says he doesn't want it, then none for me too. Otherwise, it's just better for me to steer clear away. (With the exception of a dark chocolate square a day, I've cut candy completely out of my diet)
Meditate 10 minutes a day: Yeeeah this got old fast. To begin with, I lead a very unstressful life and running is like meditating to me anyway, so I really don't need to do this. But at least I tried it, right?
Last month I wrote about how I am still chubby in my mind. This is still the case - I need to stop picking at myself in the mirror so much! - but it's much better now. I start to feel "fat" when my abs aren't so defined, but it only takes one run to make them appear again. I know, I'm silly!
***MILESTONE:*** After a few scary incidents of almost losing my engagement ring, I finally went in to get it resized. It was hard because it was another way of letting go of the old me and my old lifestyle. I feared the new me would go away - what then? But then it occurred to me that - duh! - I can always get it resized bigger if need be. I should have overcome my fear of committing to my new healthy lifestyle, but hey, this was a compromise.
I got really depressed and crazy when I couldn't run. My moods swung like a yoyo - I was miserable to be around! Luckily I healed and I was back on cloud 9 again. Now I know-KNOW how badly I need running in my life.
*What's been working*
Publicly announcing ALL of my goals. I used to be secretive about my goals; I wouldn't announce any online until I've already started it. I took a risk by publishing my ultimate running goals and I'm pretty pleased by the pressure I put on myself to complete them. I'm an ambitious person, but it adds the pressure I thrive on to transform dreams to checked-off tasks. :):):)
Reducing my sodium intake. I stopped salting my foods a long time ago, but then eliminated processed food for the most part so that I can gain control of my sodium. I also started asking restaurants to make my food sans salt. It took a few weeks of getting used to taste-wise, but I'm enjoying being bloat-free!
Cinnamon raisin Ezekiel bread. The PURRRFECT snack to curb my sweet tooth.
Roasting veggies and baking fish. SO easy, SO tasty and SUPER nutritious!
*What's not been working*
Cooked salmon. As nutritious as it is, there's something about the meat that makes me feel, well, fat. Raw salmon is another story though. I tried other fish since then and now prefer lighter white ones like tilapia.
Gourmet cheese. These days, the only place I can eat this stuff are samples from the grocery store. Otherwise, I can't stop myself from pigging out and I get into massive trouble!
Snooze button. A bad decision made while I'm not quite coherent, but I need to remember that it's even harder to get out of bed and functioning after pressing snooze.
I thought I'd give this splendid little holiday its own category. We went away for the weekend where I did workout and ate healthy, but it wasn't until we came back that Sunday that I went berserk over the champagne which led to making TERRIBLE choices in food (and lots of it too!). Awful. In anticipation of looking drop dead fabulous on our cruise in mid-December, I pledge to stay away from booze until I get my foot on that ship!
*Current Weight:* 106-108
I scrounged up some more before pics...
I just want to cry every time I compare my befores and afters!!!
Are those abs really mine???
Just after a hardcore session of push ups and arm work
I swear running helped me achieve this.
I'm developing leg muscles!
Though it's not my current weight, it's the lowest I hit in November.
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