Monday, November 24, 2008
*The days before the race:*
* Other than a light 30 minute run on Friday, I did absolutely NO running and made sure any aerobic activity I did was low impact. I also upped my carbs slightly for maximum glycogen on race day. I know this was only a 5k, but over preparation is how I deal with my unknowns. :)
*Sat 11/23 PM:*
* High protein and good carbs for dinner
* Surprisingly even with pre-race jitters, I fall asleep easily.
* Thanks to my lovely CAT who does not come with a snooze alarm, I am up 15 minutes before the alarm.
* Alarm sounds and I literally BOUNCE out of bed! DH snoozed the alarm for himself and I go about getting his coffee and making him breakfast. It was the perfect activity for me to calm my nerves before I imploded from anxiety. For once, I allow myself to comfort my emotions with food, even if it's a bowl of cereal.
* We leave for the race, which is only about 5 minutes away.
* My tummy is in knots and I feel like throwing up!!!
* We park and when you talk about Fight or Flight, I am in full Flight mode. I start BAWLING my eyes out. Thank goodness DH has skills when it comes to calming me down. I stop crying right when I realize that my eyes will be puffy in the pics. Vanity ALWAYS wins.
* Beach at this time of morning = FREEZING and I literally climb and cling onto DH like a koala bear for warmth.
* I have never been around this many fit looking people in my life. I feel like a martian who's just touched down at her home planet.
* I brave the cold and take off my jacket for a pic. :):):) (Excuse the no-make up look)
Me, braving the cold without my jacket (:O
* OMG do I have to pee or am I just cold??? (I found out that I was cold and nervous. TMI?)
* They call them Olympic stretches, but what they're really having us do are stupid Mickey Mouse type exercises. I feel even dopier when I start stepping all over myself. I am so uncoordinated!
* Line up at the starting line!
* A couple of people were doing these sprint things at the starting line and the race director told them to stop. I feel intimidated by their fitness. And I am SO SHORT!!
* DH tries to get me in the front of the line for pics, but I am super shy and put myself in the 3rd-4th row.
* There's the horn... MADNESS!
* It's a small race, but I still feel like a buffalo crossing a river with a herd.
* "PAAAAAAAACE YOURSELF!!!" I say to myself but it's really hard.
* My right foot feels constricted from my tight laces but I decide to wait it out (thankfully it loosened itself later).
* I felt claustrophic behind these girls so I put my mind to my form and started pumping my arms really hard. I slid past them easy and settled down again.
* Mile 1 split is 7:57 - WHAT!!!!!! I have *never* broken into the 7 MM area in my entire LIFE!
* I'm getting really nervous as I feel myself slowing down. I am SO cold.
* The sight of DH with the camera calms me down immensely
* To calm my nerves, I look to my right at the ocean. I echo DH's words to me: _"You have nothing to worry about, you've done this before."_
* I am using a girl in white as my pacer and my heart sank when she got further away from me. People are passing me now. Lesson: slow the H down next time
* I pass a guy laying on the ground on his back, clutching his left leg. I'm grateful that I am not the one on the ground.
I was right to pick out a pink outfit, right??? LOL
* I am very relieved to see the mile 2 marker, though it seemed to take forever. My watched showed that I clocked in at 8 minute-ish. A quick calculation means I can finish this thing before 28 minutes!
* I can't find my gusto... WHERE IS MY GUSTO!!!
* Right before mile 3 my pacer went off track and stopped running. I use another pacer - a guy in black and push myself to keep up with him.
I'm a bit embarrassed by the expression on my face...
You can kinda see my glutes jump out of my leg. I've never had that kind of definition before!
* There is a guy right in front of me...
* It wasn't until I saw DH at the finish line that I found my strength and sprinted towards the finish line, BLAZING past the guy in front of me! (I realize now how rude that was - oops) I come in hooting and hollering and went straight in for my hug from the #1 in my life who supported me every step of the way: DH
Sprinting... Blazing... Watch out dude! He ended up placing 1 second after me - oops on my part. (I kinda like the way my abs look in this pic heehee)
Is it over already???
* They calculated my time at 25:08 and 8:07 pace. Not too far is my net time, which was at 25:05 with a pace of 8:05. This is the fastest I've ever run, but I have to account for the fact that I have a rancid amount of hills on my regular route and this was all flat terrain.
* I placed 3rd in my division and #51 out of 215!
* All the men in their 70s were faster than me... LMAO!
* The 2 top male finishers were in their 30s and the two top women were in their 40s - INSPIRING!
* I couldn't stop smiling. I felt very special when their photographer took lots of pics of me running. :):):)
* This race was a true MILESTONE. I now know that running is my sport and fitness takes a real part of my life.
* I'm debating whether or not to do another 5k in December...
* It was just FOUR months ago that I could barely walk for 30 minutes, let alone run anywhere!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
In my last post, I described the exhaustion and symptoms of depression-without-feeling-depressed that has consumed me lately. It was just so strange to go from daily euphoria and tons of energy to lethargy, the desire to stay in bed and feeling like I could cry with a drop of a hat - without anything to cry about, added to the fact that I'm actually pretty happy overall!
Well, the answer (thankfully) came to me today.
After resting for over a week, I got my butt out of bed this morning and went for a sunrise run. OMG! It was EXACTLY what I needed. Thanks to the time I spent on the bike, I ran faster and stronger than before. After the run - and even hours after - that familiar sense of euphoria enveloped me, and once again, I became the happy, confident gal that I really am.
Now I know for a fact that running is a necessity in my life. It centers and grounds me. It empties my head so I can live patiently. It sucks the frustrations in my heart and pours peace back into it. It erases the word "can't" out of my vocabulary and transforms dreams into tasks. Running: it is my Rx to life.
Monday, November 10, 2008
There is something going on that I can't quite put a finger on.
Being that I prefer cardio over ST, I typically start ST with a bad attitude. (What a confession!) Thankfully, however, the attitude turns into a happier one as I get into it and then before I know it, I'm pushing hard because I *want* the burn. In the end, I feel really really good and I'm very happy that I worked out.
Today, however, I started with my bad attitude and it *stayed*. I was very excited to use my new ball to do my crunches, but - maybe it's the extra movement - I got pretty nauseas and cut my reps short. I tried to get through some of my other exercises - giving me a pep talk through it all - but I am still unenthusiastic. As I type this, I'm actually halfway through but I'm considering calling it a day - something I NEVER do!
I wonder if this has to do with my complete exhaustion yesterday. I've been pretty stressed and stretched with planning, cleaning, entertaining and cooking for a bunch of my in-laws, which was a lot of work for a gal like me who is used to cooking for 2. I woke up yesterday morning unable to get up and out of bed. I ended up staying in bed all day, skipping workouts and making good friends with my television. This is not me. And now, all I can think of is crawling back into bed and vegging out until DH gets home.
I don't know what's going on but what I do know is: 1) this too shall pass and 2) I need to listen to my body and rest.
And so, the mystery shall remain.
P.S. I should note that I was VERY enthusiastic during my cardio this morning. I was myself then! It was after that when I started crutchin my energy levels with caffeine. Argggh.
Friday, October 31, 2008
I am still in disbelief over my new numbers from Curves yesterday. This exercising/eating right thing really works!!!
Weight: 106.2 lbs (this was before breakfast, so I'm sure my normal weight is more)
Body Fat %: 17.40% (down from 18.00% on Sept. 29)
BMI: 20.7 (down from 21.7 on Sept. 29)
This, at least for me, is a huge loss for a month. I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that I upped my running days from three to four?
P.S. I'd like to thank my Spark friends and the SP Class SparkTeam for helping to make this a reality for me, you guys are the BEST!!!!!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I believe daily workouts have spun my metabolism almost out of control! It feels like Iím doing nothing but eating Ö all Ö the Ö time. And even when I do eat trash, it takes me no longer than two days to get my weight/body back to where it was before. This is new to me.
Itís also weird to say that Iím losing weight without being proactive about it. Maybe itís the intensity of my workouts that make it so, but it just feels like my body is shedding fat just doing whatever Iím doing. This is also strange.
I also have TONS of energy. Itís ridiculous really, because it can be borderline hyperactive. For example, sometimes my fiancť has to stop me and tell me to slooooooow down when Iím telling a story or how about in the shower this morning after a lengthy run, I felt the urge to jump on my bike and ride around the neighborhood. Can you say: ADD?!
Last time I wrote about how I was still chubby in my mind. This is pretty gone! Maybe the fact that Iím practically swimming in all my clothes serves as a friendly daily reminder (which may be why I prefer my exercise clothes over the norm).
Re: my exercise routine, some days I get bored. I feel bored of running, bored of Curves, bored of ST. Instead, I crave a sculpting session or a class that focuses on core training. Either way, I may be bored of my routine and subconsciously seeking new challenges.
Something strange happened recently. For the first time in my life, Iím actually really happy with my body. It was scary to see the new and amazing form that was taking place, but you know what? I kind of like it and it feels even better to know that I now treat my body with the most utmost respect. So this is what it feels like to love my body.
Because Iím happy with what I have, I no longer feel the need to chase 105 lbs, even though Iím so close (currently stabilized at 109-110). Iím still going to do my daily workouts, eat healthy and log my food on a daily basis, but Iím not going to sweat it if I stay at my current weight forever, especially since I have more factors going on for me (building muscle, which weighs more than fat). Of course Iím not going to fight it if I happen to get there, provided I donít look too thin.
Ok so that wasnít so ďemotionalĒ... I just had to get that part out and it just flowed into that space.
Other emotional pointsÖ Oh yes: euphoria.
I am fully convinced that daily workouts have something to do with the daily euphoria I feel everyday, which is fine, except on some days, it gets so overwhelming that tears brim my eyes. I have no reason to be euphoric really and yet there I am, standing by myself about to cry a river! I do not lie when I select constant 10ís on my moral meter (and the last time I didn't workout it was due to a stomach virus). Jeez. People pay for this stuff and here I am, unable to shake it on a daily basis.
***Whatís been working***
Change of perspective. Recently, 100 Pushup Programís Week 4 frustrated me so much that I thought about quitting it. Right before I threw in the towel, however, I realized that my initial motivation to start the program never had anything to do with doing 100 consecutive pushups, it was that the exercise itself gives you killer arms and, well, I wanted that. After I remembered that, the program became fun again and then Ė would you look at this! Ė I passed Week 4 Day 3 with flying colors. Taking the pressure finish this program within a certain period of time allowed me to cheerfully repeat Week 4 next weekÖ For which I believe will be the last time. :) So lesson here? When things get tough, remember what and why you started the project.
Running 4 days a week versus 3. Actually, Iíve tried implementing this for the last month, but things just keep coming up so that I only run 3 days (or if there were 4 days, one would only be a partial run). I donít really know why I wanted to do this except I feel at home when I run and the idea of walking 6 miles like I used to no longer appeals to me. I might be developing a compulsion towards running based on a fear of performance loss, but Iím not going to think about it too much. All I know is that itís the best feeling when I complete a run and Iím going to do it because I love it.
Weighing in weekly at the most helped me to love my body. I canít believe I placed my self-value off of some dumb numbers on the scale! Seriously.
Lastly, I am shocked at how well 6:30 am workouts are panning out. Morning workouts used exhaust me during the day, but for some reason, it no longer takes a toll on me. If anything, it makes me even more hyper and Iím much more relaxed during the day, since it frees up my afternoons.
***Whatís not been working***
Depriving myself of goodies (or ďbaddies!Ē as they should be called). I wrote before about how important it is to indulge here and there and while I felt like I was, in actuality, eating one cookie a month could and should easily be referred to as DEPRIVATION. Boo me. I already eat a block of dark chocolate every morning (coupled with green tea, it prevents cancer!), but Iím thinking about setting a weekly/daily block of time when I can treat myself to something deliciously evil. I mean hell, I burn more than enough calories to splurge in cookies, cake, ice cream, piesÖ Mmm.
I am impressed at how little time it took me to get to where Iím at. It was only in July when I was a pudgy couch potato who broke a sweat walking! It is very special how forgiving our bodies are, isnít it?
It occurred to me that my wedding is 14 months away. When I started working out, I stated that I wanted to wear a white bikini when I tied the knot. I know I wanted it to happen, but I didnít think that it takes only a few months to get that body (at least for me and where I started from). A year ago, I promised myself to start working out a year before I get married to get ďthatĒ body. Whereas Iím pretty happy where I am now, Iím confident that Iíll still be working out daily next year Ė who knows how much more amazing my body will look then! Talk about a pic to show my future grandkids.
Current Weight: 109-110 lbs.
(Body Fat and BMI to come)
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