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My train doesn't stop at Self Pity City

Friday, March 26, 2010

I'm not one to sit and wallow, I don't do negativity so find it hard when I listen to those around me being so negative!! Today's issue in the office is how very few luxuries my colleagues can afford, and how tough life is when you have to limit your nights out to 3 a week!!

Life throws such awful things at people and expect us to cope all the time, it's not that easy but I learnt that I have 2 choices:

Wallow in self pity
Change my life, I was the only one who could change me

My father died young and my little brother (6ft 2in built like a brick out house but always will be my little brother!) could drop dead at any moment.

My husband had an affair a few years back- he fell from the pedestal at that moment, we stayed together, I lost weight and now he is in awe of me. I didn't lose weight because of what he did (and wouldn't try post affair either!), I did it because of what I wanted from life.

I've had some dark times (both my daughters have had treatment for cancer in their early 20's).

I've had a hysterectomy at 35 due to a tumour and I still wake up every morning very happy, I never ask why my family. I'm so very thankful that my family and I have survived.

I have the most amazing daughters and grandchildren, and my husband is the most amazing man and I'm very proud to be his wife, despite his brief mistake (as we call it!)

I spend most of my day laughing, I have a dry sense of humour and make random comments, not always appropriate but people know me well enough to know it's just me.

I never forget, not even for a second, that life is precious and can be taken from you at any time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FUNNINFIT 3/27/2010 2:05PM

    thanks for sharing your perspective-if only your co-workers REALLY knew what sacrifice truly was-a week in a third world country, a cancer ward, on the streets, etc. & they might be more grateful & turn their thinking around!

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CELEST 3/26/2010 3:41PM

    limit your nights out to 3 a week!! Heck tell your colleagues to come over here for a month where trying to find the bond money and keeping everything together is the topic of conversation...not outings....those are a luxury only enjoyed if paid for by friends or the kids.
But I must say that I absolutely love your attitude. I believe in it too. No use crying over spilled milk or even over what you can't change. Best put a smile on your face and make the best of the bad situation. After all misery may love company, but company doesn't love misery....that's been my experience in life in any case.

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KATVHALE 3/26/2010 10:10AM

  One day at a time and each day is a new day! This world is going to throw us curves and also bring us flowers; we just have to learn to keep looking ahead and keep looking up! God is in control and if you learn to trust Him, all else will be doable!

God Bless You!

Kat

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SEKSUNSHINE 3/26/2010 6:22AM

    Positive is good but so is negative. You can't have one without the other and any one who doesn't see that is truly living with blinders on.

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FITKAT2010 3/26/2010 5:49AM

    You can't hang on to the memories of errors and problems and be truly happy at the same time.

I vote to go straight into the "negative" thoughts/feelings and truly see the lessons they give. Not one foot in / one foot out. That's a very difficult position to stay in. Kind of like sitting on the fence.

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KAYLANG 3/26/2010 5:20AM

    I like your atitude! I try to surround myself with positive and happy people myself and I find that hard sometimes. There is such negativity in the world today, but I believe that I control myself and my moods, so I choose optimism! I try to never meet a stranger and will always offer a smile. I am astounded how many times I am ignored, but I continue! Stay motivated!!!

emoticon

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Ow!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Well today the aching has really kicked in, this weeks kickboxing class was harder as they were preparing members for the grading.

I now know where my stomach muscles are- I can feel them- ignorance is bliss I would've been ok not knowing where they were!! Think the 100 stomach crunches she made us do on Tuesday were a few too many, like 100 too many!!!! They felt ok at the time, now I think she was trying to kill me!

My arms ache big time- perhaps this is the 2 sets of 100 press ups! Again maybe there were too many, by 200!! I felt so virtuous keeping up with the class, so proud that I could do this, now I just feel that I should know better than to try to keep up as my body rebels afterwards!

My friend who I took along with me says that she isn't talking to me now! I know she doesn't mean it - she had such a great time and I'm sure she'll feel so much better, once she can move again!!

We both have said that although we ache and the only word we seem to be able to say is 'ow' we feel so much better for going, it's a good ache, a 'I've done something to be proud of ache'

Roll on Tuesday, I can't wait!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CELEST 3/25/2010 4:41PM

    You really put a smile on my face with your descriptions. Yes it is an ache to be proud of. My younger son said those exact same words to me when he set my very first mini-extreme-dream challenge for me. I believe I ended up in tears after the first one, which is when he put his arms around me that night and said those words. Now, I've lost count how many I've done and I am soooo jolly proud of my challenges, the incredible things I can do and the weight that appears to be melting off me with them.
Keep posting, that was a brilliant and fun read.

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NURSEGREENEYES 3/25/2010 4:37PM

    You go girl! Sounds like you're working hard in this class! Great job!

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Two legs for a reason!!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

When I moved to this area in June 09 someone told me that if I want to continue to run at my usual time of 4.30am I would need to be the speed of Linford Christie, as I'm built for comfort not speed I decided that if I can protect myself then I can carry on my 4.30am runs.

Since moving I haven't run early mornings but due to my new sport I'll be able to go back to my fave routine, and not have to be so concerned that I wont be able to protect myself. I always try to remain safe but rather than be sorry I opted for extra safe!

I took up kickboxing this month as one of my personal goals and thought I would update on my progress (if I can call it that!)

I'm doing well with the punches- not as fast as the more experienced but I got a handle on them early on

Not so well on the kicks and as the title of the sport suggests this is a big part of it! I seem to have a problem balancing on 1 leg and now know that I have two legs for a reason- so I don't fall over everytime I try to kick something!!

I have a few options open to me:

1.Grow another leg
2.Practice my balance more
3.Give up!

Options one and three are not really options for me so I have chosen option 2!

I absolutely love the class, the people are fantastic and very supportive, the instructors are amazingly patient and the calorie burning is a def plus point!!

I have now taken a friend with me as she wants to lose weight- the only problem is the height difference, she's 6 inches taller than me!

I would def recommend kickboxing- even to the faint hearted, I know a lot of people take it seriously but to me it's about getting fit and having a good time. I laugh while I'm there and others now know that this is how I am, that I am giving it my all but rather than cry with frustration that I can't stand on 1 leg I laugh at myself.

I also take it a class at a time rather than plan how much I'll do next time, this works for me and doesn't add extra pressure.

Life is about living every day to the max and I fully intend not wasting a single moment

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CELEST 3/25/2010 4:42PM

    You are my newest find on sparks and each time I open one of your blogs I end up with a smile from ear to ear at your descriptions of things. Fabulous man, keep posting cos I still have plenty of unused smiles.

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KATVHALE 3/24/2010 11:01AM

  Good for you! I used to go to kick boxing classes when I lived in south Florida but since moving to St. Augustine, I haven't been doing it. You are right that it does take good balance, which I don't have... and it is a really good workout! I used to really work up a sweat.

There are just some things that I really can't do any more and I guess it is because of my age! I do have a bad back (two bulging discs) so I have to watch what kind of exercising I do now.

Keep up the emoticon work!! I see much weight loss in your future!

Kat

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SPIFFYCAT 3/24/2010 6:21AM

    Good for you, go for it.

I had a knee problem and my phsyio had me doing balancing exercises to strengthen the muscles. simple ones to start, like
standing on one leg with the foot slightly off the ground, hips straight, done as many times as possible ie, whilst making a cuppa or washing up.
Walking slowly forward heel of leading foot in line with back foot, heel to toe.
Then as the balance improved more complicated ones
I'm sure if you google you will find plenty of them.

The physio told me the cause of a lot of older people falling is lack of balance skills.






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SOFT approach

Saturday, March 20, 2010

I've been reading quite a few members blogs this week and notice that some of us Sparks are panicking!! Varying reasons but the main theme seems to be that they don't feel they are committed enough or have done enough.

I use the SOFT approach to record my day (and to plan for tomorrow) and monitor my progress:

Successes- what have you done well
Opportunities- did you work out, eat well, did you find you time
Frustrations- what is hindering you, standing in your way, what can you improve on
Threats- Is there anything that will stand in your way tomorrow, such as a birthday, meal out

I've been using the above since I started my weight loss journey, it does help and it keeps me focused on what I have done well, and what things I might want to improve on

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOANOFSPARK 4/15/2011 4:31PM

    great advice......that sounds like a great approach....:)

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EDWARDSC393 2/28/2011 12:59PM

    I like the soft approach! I don,t beat myself up. Need to write down stuff more, but I do it here. Thx for the good blog! Cherie

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CO-CREATOR 2/28/2011 12:43PM

    I think that is a great approach. I am going to give it a try.

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CELEST 3/25/2010 4:48PM

    Good advice. I had that panicky feeling only today thinking that I have been sooo good since Nov but I had tons of weddings etc to attend and felt it gave me motivation. Now that its all over, I panicked that I would not have the motivation. But I got over it, I'm sure I will. I just have not tracked my food for a week, while away at the last wedding and having no internet access. But its over now, and I must get back to logging my food or the wheels might very well come off.

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NEBRASKANURSE 3/20/2010 12:04PM

    Excellent idea! Thanks for the blog

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NORAB52GOOD 3/20/2010 11:24AM

    Ooooh I like that! Thanks!!!!

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No TV!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

When I moved last year I made a conscious decision not to take my TV with me, I thought that it would be too easy to slip back into my old ways when I moved to a new area- watching tv, eating and not joining a gym. I wanted to live my life rather than watch others (fictional) living their lives.

The first thing I did when I moved was locate a new gym, followed by the library, I ensured I had the internet too!

Most of the office chat is around what programmes were on the night before so at times I feel that I cannot contribute to these chats however I can honestly say I do not miss the TV!!

My best friend says that she would never cope without one, my response- have you tried? She hasn't!

When I walk into my home I feel a sense of calm, a tranquility I have never felt before moving. I feel I can shut the world out until I want to face it again.

I have 24 hours in my day, just as everyone else does however I do feel that I get so much more done since I have moved and have no tv to occupy my time. I now feel I utilise every moment of my life

I still visit friends with tv's and now the constant background noise drives me mad but for years I used to put the TV on telling myself it was just for background noise!

The amount of people that look at me as if I am not speaking a language they understand when I say I have no TV is amazing, they say they've never met anyone without a tv before and what's it like!!

I feel liberated as I no longer rush home to watch the latest soap, or build my life around which programmes I want to watch.

I feel I am now in total control of my life, which is the most amazing feeling, I wouldn't change this for anything

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CELEST 3/25/2010 4:46PM

    I understand fully. I own a TV, but for almost 8 months I had needy family living in my lounge (one set after the other) which meant getting access to viewing was a bit awkward. I turned off my DSTV, and have not bothered to turn on my TV even though the last of the family moved out since the beginning of February. I thought I would miss it, but truly my life is full and I don't miss it at all. The only thing that you miss is being able to add "rubbish talk about fictional people". At a wedding I recently attended I was told I reminded people of Jeannie D - a presenter. I had to google Jeannie D to know who they were talking about. LOL NOW DONT SWITCH OFF MY INTERNET that would be a different matter altogether.

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FUNNINFIT 3/16/2010 1:28PM

    Wow! That sounds great for you-I'd love not having TV-I can spend so much time reading, working outside/being on the internet-plus, like you, when I do watch TV, I feel like I have to eat!
keep us posted on how you're doing with this and if you 'convince' anyone else to try doing without tV

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MONARCHCT 3/16/2010 7:06AM

    Although my husband watches a lot of "stuff" in the evening, I sit with my laptop as most of the shows bore me & all the commercials (repeated, repeated, repeated) make me crazy. Other than the news, which is usually depressing, I think I could give up TV too. Anything that happened is on the internet if I feel I need to catch up. What a great way to make full use of your time.

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ILOVESP 3/16/2010 5:22AM

    emoticon

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MARYJOANNA 3/16/2010 5:19AM

  Good for you! We have a couple in our Sunday School class who have never had a tv. It certainly would be a challenge! I applaud you!

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