Wednesday, September 15, 2010
So it's been a LONG tech week and a huge build-up to last night's opening of "Sunday In The Park With George". But we survived, the show is open - we're still waiting on critical reviews, but we have already been Jeff Recommended (Chicago's version of a Tony Award), and quite honestly, the show was really great. It was the best we could have done for where we are in the process - a couple of minor blunders here and there, but nothing that would have been noticeable to an audience, and I think that everyone, genuinely, felt like it was a good night. So we'll see how it gets reviewed!
I had a really lovely day yesterday. I opted to take the day off work - something that I have never done before for an opening - and let me tell ya - I'm gonna do it again for the next one. I felt relaxed and refreshed and like I had my head in the game - which is exactly how you want to feel walking into a house FULL of critics.
I woke up yesterday morning - determined to run W5D3 of C25K - the first 20 minute run with no breaks. I wasn't sure I could do it, but was committed to at least attempting it to see how far I could get. Well, wouldn't you know that only one minute into my run I dueled with a piece of sidewalk and bit it hard :( The sidewalk won. But I got up, dusted myself off, walked a few paces to make sure I was ok, and then kept right on running. And I finished! The WHOLE 20 minutes. I think it was toughest around the 12 minute mark. The announcement broke in for the Day 2 runners to start the last 8 minute run and I honestly was feeling at that point like I wouldn't make it. But I persevered and just kept saying "Just keep going - go until you pass out if you have to - just get to the tree - ok now get to the end of the block - home stretch baby - you just gotta make it to the park" and bit by bit, block by block I just kept running. Wow. I am so proud of myself. I didn't even think about my injury until I reached home and felt the throbbing and stinging on my left leg. I looked down and realized that I was bleeding - I didn't even know I had scraped my leg, that's how focused I was. Here's the damage:
Owie! It hurts more today than it did all day yesterday. Surface scrape - you know how they can smart. Yowsa! But who cares? Cause I finished!!! I mapped it out when I got home and figured that I ran just over 1.5 miles in 20 minutes putting me at a 13 minute mile - way faster than I thought I'd be! So now I will start working on my mapped out 5K course and do Weeks 6-9 on the new route so I know how far I have to go to reach that 3.1! I'm feeling really confident now that I should be able to run my 5K in November without issue.
After such an awesome achievement I sat and had a leisurely breakfast at home, catching up on some Spark blogs and articles before heading out for a relaxing pedicure. Oh man - that hit the spot! The massage chair on my back, having my feet rubbed and toes painted - I felt awesome. I topped off the afternoon with a visit to my favorite brunch place for a club sandwich.
After a short nap and another shower I started getting dolled up for the evening. I decided to wear my hair down with heavier eye make-up. Since my face has gotten thinner, my eyelashes seriously look longer. It's kind of amazing that you can collect fat pockets even around your eyes! Glad to be rid of those for sure cause my peepers were pretty rockstar last night. (I wish I had taken a pic before I left the house!)
Because I have to do a lot of stuff during the show, including climbing up and down a ladder to get to the control booth, I packed my dress and heels in a bag for the after party and put on my skinny jeans and a sparkly, black tank top. I didn't want to have to mess with putting on my Spanx after the show, so I threw them on under my jeans and tank - holy crap, they do really suck you in in all the right places. I was pretty stoked that my muffin top was barely noticeable under my shirt!
Now here comes the best part - I got to the theatre, finished setting up for preshow and we opened the house. I had gotten a few compliments already, which made me feel pretty good, but as I was standing backstage waiting to give the actors their "places" call, one of my actors came up to me and started a conversation. Just normal stuff we were talking about - I thought it was to quell his nerves, and we were joking and laughing a bit. Then he sticks out his hand and introduces himself to me. Odd, I think - but maybe he's playing a joke - so I shake his hand and introduce myself back to him. Then I see his face drop. "OH MY GOD! JENN??? I totally didn't even recognize you! Here I am talking to this beautifully, voluptuous woman thinking - is she with the front of house team or the orchestra maybe? - I had no idea it was you!" I burst out laughing. I have seen this guy pretty much every single day for the past 3 weeks straight. And granted, it was dark backstage, but that had to be the best compliment that I received all night! I just winked at him and said "Yeah - I clean up a little for Openings". Tee hee. So awesome.
After the show we recepted with our friends, family and fans. I did a Superman change into my dress and heels backstage and arrived on the scene to more comments about how wonderful I looked. It was so nice. AND I lasted 3 hours in 3 inch heels - that's an accomplishment in and of itself!
At the end of the night I ate too little (good food - I ate plenty of bad food) and drank too much - and I'm certainly paying the price for it today, but it was worth it. It's been a long while, and a lot of shows, since I felt like I belonged at an opening. But last night I brought it - and I'll continue to bring it from this day forward. I was complimented, flirted with and genuinely appreciated all night, and that felt so darn great. But the best part about all of it is that I finally got around to appreciating myself - and I realize now that that's what was missing before. Being a stage manager is tough. It's not about the glory. The audience doesn't applaud for you. But last night's sense of accomplishment was about so much more than just the show. And that's all that really matters!
*As of right now I have no pictures of myself last night - but I know there were a few taken, so as soon as someone posts one on Facebook, I'll steal it and post it here!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Wow. I've had a good day today. Come to think of it, I've had a pretty darn good couple of weeks. And it's unfathomable to me that I'm managing everything that I am right now. This will be the first time I've survived a CLEAN tech week. No sugar, no caffeine loading, and no fried food. I feel amazing! I'm exhausted - but who wouldn't be with my schedule right now?
I dragged myself out of bed this morning after a week long schedule of midnights at the theatre. But I knew I had to run today, and I was GOING to do W5D2 of C25K. 8 minute runs. Two of them. (I don't even want to think about what comes next - the 20 minute run, but by the time I get to running it I will have talked myself into that too - cause I'm unstoppable!)
I've had 2 rest days since I ran W5D1. I didn't like D1 much. I felt sluggish and it was hard which I wasn't expecting at all. I thought since I was used to running 4 intervals, switching to only 3 would be a breeze. Not the case. So I was honestly worried about this morning. But it was only 2 intervals. I could do it. I laced on my shoes, stretched out my calves, and took off on my 5 minute warm-up walk. Then it was time to run. I straightened my shoulders, took a deep breath - and did it. Twice. I had to really push at the end, but today I ran a total of 16 minutes. Awesome #1 - check.
As most of you know I was holding my breath for the magical 269 on the scale this morning. I've been in the 270s for what feels like FOREVER. Most of it was superficial. I changed scales in the middle of the past 10 pounds, and the new scale weighed heavier, so it felt as though I had to re-lose weight that I had already lost. It kinda sucked. So stepping on the scale this morning was a little nerve-wracking. I wanted those 260s - and bad. I kid you not when I say that my first weight was 267.8. I had to get off and on again to confirm that it was so. I literally exclaimed "WHAT? NO WAY!" out loud and scared the bejesus out of my cats. I ran to get my camera, came back and it had gone up :( But then I realized that it went up because I was hanging on to my camera. So I put the camera down and managed to get 268. On the nose. Here's the proof!
WAHOO!!! I was (and am still ecstatic). I'm so happy to be here. And to have gotten here on the busiest of all possible weeks for me is a feat I never thought I could accomplish. Awesome #2 - check.
So of course I had to run to SP immediately to enter my new weight. 5 pounds! I haven't dropped 5 pounds in a week since the first week I started and was losing water weight. It's still a little unbelievable to me. I'll be anticipating next week's weigh-in all week for fear that it's not a real number. But I know it is, it has to be. I'm learning to love and appreciate my "plateaus". It may not feel like it to you guys, but I will often spend 2 or 3 weeks only losing about .3 of a pound at a time - and it seems to be happening every 7-10 pounds or so. But then my body just decides to shed and I drop a huge number like this week that makes up for it. I can't knock it - I'll take what I can get!
So I am now a grand total of 45 pounds down AND under a BMI of 50!!! Inching closer and closer to being out of Obese territory every day. Look at me go :) Awesome #3 - check.
So there you have it - A Trifecta of Awesome today. It feels so good.
Leaving you with a picture of my beautiful yellow bouquet that was a reward for 37.5 pounds that is still going strong!
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
I don't know what it is about fall, but for me it will ALWAYS be associated with getting a new wardrobe. That feeling of fresh, new beginnings - a new pair of shoes, and a pretty little something to wear on the first day that the weather turns.
I mentioned in my last blog how woefully neglect I am on clothing right now. I've been holding off buying ANYTHING because I don't want to invest only to give everything away in a couple of months - but the straights got dire my friends, so today, I splurged. I still have a little buyer's remorse, but overall I feel really good about all my new threads!
I had a good feeling about today. Sometimes you can walk into a fitting room and absolutely nothing looks right on you and you leave depressed and angry. But I knew that that wasn't going to be today. I had lots of time today to shop, so I meandered around Lane Bryant, touching all the fabrics, going through all the sales racks, holding up one shirt against another. I was there on a mission: bras, underwear, jeans, a sweater to go over tank tops, and maybe a couple of shirts if the funds allowed. I grabbed as much stuff as my arms could hold and headed to the fitting rooms.
I tried on the bras first, and sadly, was not as small around the ribcage as I thought I was, so I had to send those back for the next size up. Still fine though - the next size up was still down a full size from the bras I'm currently wearing. Next were the tops. Now I knew from what I have at home that I'm swimming in a 22/24, and an 18/20 is comfortable, but getting big - so I took a deep breath and selected a 14/16, pulled it over my head, and...IT FIT!!!! OMG OMG OMG. OK - don't get too excited - the shirt is a baggy one, so it's supposed to fit loose and it's definitely not LOOSE. Try another one. It fit too, and so did the next and the next. I was flipping out. I've NEVER worn the 14/16 size at Lane Bryant. I was already an 18/20 before I moved to the U.S. and so I skipped right by that size and went on to the next ones. Thrilled. With a capital T. Now the jeans. I had grabbed a pair in size 22 which is what I'm currently wearing at home. But the ones I have at home are from a Canadian store and everything there tends to fit smaller than the stuff here (made for us American big-bottomed girls) and they're getting a little loose on me now, so I also crossed my fingers and picked out a size 20. Well - I've already told you that I had a feeling about today. So you know I'm going to tell you that the 20s FIT! Oh yeah! I did a dance in the fitting room. Seriously.
Mission accomplished. 2 new bras (42B), 5 new pairs of underwear (size 18/20), 1 new pair of jeans (size 20), 4 new tops (size 14/16) and 1 new sweater (also 14/16). I won't even tell you what the price tag was - but that's ok. I deserve this stuff. I've worked hard for it. And I feel pretty! I never did get my 40 pound reward, so this is it. Wahoo!
The thing that excites me the most though is that quite possibly my next shopping trip could be to a normal store! (for tops anyway). Lane Bryant has been good to me. But I'm over her and her big bottomed ways. I'm ready for Ann Taylor, and Neiman Marcus, and heck - even JC Penny is looking pretty fly these days. Sizes have changed a lot since the last time I was here - and I know my body is different too, so it's strange to me that the last time I was a size 12 I weighed 180lbs and at the rate I'm going now, I should be in a 12 when I'm still over 200. Not sure how that works exactly except that there are fat cells and heavier layers buried deep, deep down somewhere that it's still my job to seek out and blast away to see the scale move some more. But I'm happy that for the time being my closet is reaping the benefits of my loss. Vanity sizing or not - a girl sure does feel pretty when the number on the tag drops!
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Hi Everyone! I'm sorry I've been slow on the blog posting lately. I have so many great ideas for things that I want to write about and by the time I look up from what I'm doing it's too late, and I should be in bed, but I need to get some stuff out before I can sleep so here goes - this is going to be a crazy, mixed up jumble of everything going on in my life right now, so sorry for the dump!
Blog #1 - Title: GONE
So The Scientist left yesterday - which is why all the cryptic, sad status messages from me. It was an exhausting day. There were a lot of tears, and hugs, and more tears, but we made it through and now he's spending some time with his parents in California before leaving for Germany on the 15th. I miss him. And I will continue missing him for a long time. But, it was not meant to be. We will be lifelong friends, I'm looking very forward to having someone to visit in Germany (and other wonderful places around the world since he travels frequently), and I have had a wonderful two years with him, but I know in my heart that he is not my "forever man" so I have to move on. And he knows this too. Deep down we are two different souls who have shared so much over two years - good times and bad times. I think this move is the best thing that could have happened for his career and I wish him so much success and love and happiness. But I am on a road to achieving those things for myself too and I can't let this stop me now. Besides, I told him when he sees me in November that I'm going to be a skinny bitch - so I have to live up to that promise!
Blog #2 - Title: Threshold
I've officially lost 40 pounds. The next FRACTION of a pound that I lose will officially push me into a territory that I have never breached before - The Most Weight That I Have Ever Lost On A Diet territory. But this is not a diet. And that's why this is different. And not only am I not afraid of this new territory, I am running towards it with open arms like a fawn through a field of daisies. BRING IT ON!!! I am so excited to be here and to be feeling what I'm feeling right now and to NOT BE AFRAID. God it is freeing! I am brimming with anticipation for what the next 10, 20, 30 pounds looks like and I know I can do it. The 40-pound threshold doesn't scare me - it only makes me want to push harder!
Blog #3 - Title: Lucky 7s?
I hate 7s. Seriously. As a continuation of the above blog, as long as I keep seeing sevens on the scale I am not stepping over that 40-pound threshold. Grrr. I'm SO done with the 270s right now I can taste it in every fiber of my being. And again this morning - 273. Exactly 40 pounds, on the nose. Not an ounce more. However - I have been under an inordinate amount of stress this week/month, I've been doing everything right, and it's going to happen. It's GOING TO HAPPEN. 69, 69 , 69 , 69....hey now, get your heads out of the gutter! At least I'm not going up. But these darn plateaus are KILLING me. *Razzberry to that*
Blog #4 - Title: Who Is This Healthy Chick?
My non-scale victories have been off the charts this month. Thank god for that because like I said above, if I see one more 7 I might go postal. But I officially did the "are you too skinny for your pants?" test today - which I equate to being able to pull your jeans on and off without unbuttoning them. I can now do this with my old "skinny jeans" that are a size 24. These are the very pair that I couldn't even button at my heaviest. Woohoo! I can smell the 18s in my closet. Ten more pounds....just ten more pounds.
At rehearsal last week I was microwaving my dinner - homemade mini meatloafs with polenta and carrots - delish! One of my actors commented on how good it smelled every night and how smart I was for prepping my dinners in advance. Score one for me! And here I thought I'd look like a geek for bringing my tupperware all the time. Turns out, I'm the belle of the ball. Now everyone else salivates over my healthy food while they eat their greasy take-out or worse, try to tide themselves over with stale rehearsal cookies and donuts until they get home at 11pm to eat dinner. No Bueno! It gives me such an incentive to pack my lunch and dinner every day, even though it is a lot of extra work. It has made such a difference in my energy levels too. This might be the first show I've ever done where I didn't gain at least 5 pounds from all the eating out, social drinking and bad food schedules. I am so proud of myself for accomplishing this since it really has been a detriment to my health in the past.
I ran day 2 of Week 4 of C25K this morning. When I stepped outside in my standard tank top and sports bra I was shocked. It was actually COLD outside today. (And it still is - yey Fall!!!) I knew the cooler temperatures were going to make the run easier, but I had no idea that I would increase my speed as much as I did. I had to tack on an extra block just to finish the recording. I am so pumped for the cooler weather. And I'm a runner. When I came back inside I was barely sweating - talk about feeling healthy!
Even though I ran today, I miss the pool. And my body misses the pool - I have noticed that I really do not lose as much weight when I'm not swimming. Only one more week until my schedule returns to normal and I can get back in the water. I can't wait to buff up my shoulders again. I love my arms when I swim - they get so strong! And with the addition of running and Zumba, I have every confidence that I'm going to blast that 270 in the next couple of weeks and push through the 260s as well. But today I really needed someone to notice me. It's gotten to that point where I can REALLY see a difference in myself. And I don't want to be the center of attention when it comes to my body - but today, because the scale was the same yet again, I needed to hear it from someone else. Needed to feel like all of this was worth it - even with the running, and the pants, and the good feeling inside. And I got what I wanted! My co-worker approached me today, cautiously (which was nice of her). She said - "I don't know how you feel about me drawing attention to this, but I did want to say that I am really noticing your weight loss. You can totally tell that you've lost a bunch of weight and it's looking really good on you." That's all I needed to hear. It's not just me. Other people can see it. Now I can go back to my anonymity and hope that no one notices for the next 40 pounds...haha - highly unlikely.
Blog #5 - Title: The WW Challenge
This is a blog that I will extend into a full length one just as soon as I get time. But to give you an idea of the new challenge that I set up for myself, I'll tell you this: I was going through an old folder of WW stuff the other day - my 5 pounds lost ribbons, old Points books, recipes, calculators, etc. from my 6+ times joining and quitting the WW program. Some people love it - it's not my thing (as is evidenced by my upcoming challenge). I also found 3 of my old weigh-in books that span a number of years and a number of failed attempts at losing weight. I am approaching the weight I was at the last time I joined WW. In 25 weeks I yo-yoed up and down on their program, losing almost 20 pounds at one point and then going right back up again to only 6. My challenge is going to be to get to the lowest weight in that book and then destroy it forever! No more failed attempts. No more diets that don't work for me. I have already proven here that I can do whatever I put my mind too. So I'm going to take that last failed attempt and prove to myself that I can get past it...and then keep right on going. If I continue to do these challenges back to back, one WW weigh-in book at a time, by the time I finish with my third book challenge I will be under 200 pounds, and at a weight I haven't seen since I was 13 years old. Yep - I found my book from when I was 13. I just want to hug that child and tell her it's all going to be ok. Because I'm going to make it ok and blast through that bad memory too. I'm excited. More to follow in the next blog with photos!
Blog #6 - Title: Fall Fashion
I'm running out of clothes. And fast. The stuff I bought to wear last fall/winter is all too big. I have SOME clothing left over from my "smaller" days that I'm into now. I'm desperately trying to wear all of my favorite summer clothes one more time before the season ends because I know once we hit the cold weather I'll never wear them again. It's exciting, but it's also sad (because I spent SO MUCH MONEY on all that stuff not so long ago). And I just got the new Lane Bryant catalogue - Lord Help Me. I want everything, and yet I want nothing. I don't want to buy something I'm going to wear twice and have to get rid of. I want to buy things that fit now, but I also want to buy things that are a little too small so I'll have stuff to work into. And despite how much I love some of the things in the pictures, I'm OVER Lane Bryant. I'm DONE with fat girl stores. I can't wait until I can shop in normal places - but that just isn't yet. I still need to go through one more round of big, expensive clothes before I can start shopping the sales at Nordstrom Rack. And I also need underwear and bras, which are expensive and which also will be falling off me soon enough - too soon to really justify their expense, but I suppose spending a little cash is better than boobs flopping around in a bra that's too big. Oh, If I Had A Million Dollars...
Eesh - this was supposed to be a brain dump to help me sleep. I think all I did was stimulate myself more. I'm pumped for these challenges. I feel healthy. I'm on task to have more of a new body by November for me and for The Scientist. I'm making a list of the things I absolutely need and want to buy to get me through to the next round of sizing.
But I seriously have rehearsal in about 7 hours, and sleep is important for my health as well, so I must go to bed! Thanks for reading!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I admit it. I'm wrong! About a lot of things. But I'm tired of feeling ashamed because of it!
OK - hold the phone. Let's back this up a bit so you get an idea of where I'm coming from here.
I'm a pretty opinionated person...now. I wasn't always like this. In fact, for as long as I can remember, I haven't had much of an opinion at all. Or if I did, I was lead to believe that what I thought didn't really matter. No one ever said to me "your opinion doesn't matter" (in so many words) - but that is honestly what I believed.
I believed that if I didn't like NKOTB when I was in Grade 5 that the other kids would laugh at me. Sure I had a mad crush on Joey at the time, but I basically started liking their music because everyone else did too.
As I advanced to highschool and my peers became involved and opinionated about politics, pop culture, boy and drugs, I also stayed the course and followed step with what everyone else was doing and saying for fear of standing out or, in the worst possible case scenario, being asked to defend my position on something.
University was more of the same - I became an expert in writing the papers that the professor wanted to read, and giving the answers in class that my T.A.s wanted to hear. Socially I was no better - I went to raves because they were "cool" at the time, wore baggy pants and t-shirts and hung out with the wrong kinds of people - all because I lacked the ability to assert myself.
What I didn't realize about being a lemming, however, is that it had the opposite effect of what I wanted it to. Pretending to be the same as everyone else doesn't make people like you more (as I thought it would), in fact, it makes people like you less because you are no longer an interesting person with your own thoughts and opinions.
Now, those of you reading this are probably thinking that this behaviour is fairly classic. It's just bowing to peer pressure the same way all young people do. But in my case, this "lemming-ness", this desire to jump off a cliff because everyone else was doing it, went far deeper than the standard pressure from others to conform. I was so afraid of being shamed for my opinions, for being me, that I opted not to have any to avoid being chastised for my beliefs. I opted not to have a self because it was easier not to.
I wasn't born with this fear. In fact - if I look at my personality now as my "birthright" personality, I never should have had any problems with a fear of self-expression. I am loud and outspoken by nature. I am a proud person and I love being in the spotlight. I can be brash, but I am also humble and gentle when I need to be. And now I can honestly say that I am not ashamed of any of those traits. But I am still working on honing my abilities to be those things when I need to and want to because every so often the old feelings of fear and embarrassment will creep up on me.
So where did these feelings come from? Quite honestly, they came from being teased by my own parents as a child. I never felt comfortable at home talking about anything that was near and dear to my heart because of how it might be received. I remember my very first school-girl crushes - how tender and vulnerable a young girl's heart is at that point in her life. And how my mother used that for her own amusement with her friends who would then tease me about "being in love" and "who's the boy now?"...I was mortified. I remember shopping for my first bra - almost in a full B cup by the time it happened because I was chubby, and my mother telling me that we were going bra shopping because I was flopping around all over the place when I ran to the car after school. She then bought me 3 bras, wrapped them up like a birthday present and gave them to me to open in front of my family and younger brothers...I was horrified. When I first got my period I was at my babysitter's house for the day and had already endured her telling my younger brothers and her kids why I had opted not to go swimming that day. I had lived through her handing me a diaper-like pad while my brothers and their friends ran around the swimming pool singing "Jenn got her period, Jenn got her period". But the worst came when I finally got up the nerve to tell my mom. My grandmother was in town visiting, and though my mother didn't make the announcement at the dinner table, she may as well have as she hugged me and fussed around me about how I was now "a woman" in front of dad and grandma...I wanted to die.
After puberty, it became about my choices of friends. Always one to choose the outsiders (why not? I was one myself), my mother never approved of who I was hanging out with. They were always too loud, too silly, too immature, or not from the "right side of the tracks". Of course my opinions of my friends never mattered all that much. I was told who I was and wasn't allowed to fraternize with.
There was also my precociousness. My love of language and desire to try new words and phrases. I'm sure many people have experienced the embarrassment of saying the wrong word at the wrong time, or using it where it doesn't belong. But today that is still one of my biggest fears because of being laughed at mercilessly when I made a mistake. It's a wonder I wanted to learn anything at all.
Standard stuff? Maybe. All part of growing up? Sure. But I think it could have been handled differently. Because since all of these things were happening to ME, it would have been nice if I was actually involved in any of it. If my opinions and thoughts and feelings were ever cared about or taken into consideration. If I felt like maybe, just maybe, my life and my deeply personal experiences weren't being used as entertainment for someone else.
So I conformed. I became the same as everyone else. I used the same words, watched the same tv shows and lost my opinions. And I got fat because I also lost the ability to connect with myself. I no longer knew how. I ate in the closet to feel good about myself and because it was the one thing I could control that was my little secret. The one place I didn't have to conform. I didn't have to tell anyone and if I was careful, no one would ever know...except for my expanding waistline.
The only things I was fairly adamant about were:
1. I hated exercise and always would, and
2. I couldn't ever lose weight because I was destined to be fat
So here I sit today, a lot of personal work later, re-learning how to connect with myself, discovering who I really am and caring for that little girl who has been so ashamed and embarrassed in the past - adamant about many things, highly opinionated, blog-writing and bossy (sometimes), and this is what I think:
1. I LOVE exercise - and I will not be embarrassed about admitting that I was wrong about this in the past (even though I know my mother will call me out on my complete distaste of it before - because that is what she does).
2. I can and I will lose the weight. All of it. Because I don't need it anymore.
3. I am an interesting person BECAUSE I have opinions. Like them or lump them, my opinions are part of who I am and therefore they are VALID.
4. I am pro Obama, I like Lady-Gaga but I think she's nuts, and Real Simple is the best magazine on the shelf.
5. Raves are horrid and I never want to attend another one in my life - which is good cause I think that fad is finally over now.
6. Lemmings are cute, but dumb.
7. I will LISTEN to my children - their thoughts, their feelings, their opinions. And I will empathize with their hearts and minds before I make comments that could hurt or shame them.
8. I am still terrified about feeling like I don't know something in a crowd and my first instinct is to nod and say "oh yeah, I like that" or "oh yeah, I know what you're talking about" but I am consciously working on admitting when I don't know something or when I do have an opinion about something.
9. I will be friends with people I like and who like me - regardless of which side of the tracks they come from.
10. Joey is still the cutest New Kid
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