School Stuff

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I had a great time last night at a friend's house with her and some other home schooling friends. We had so much fun that I ended up getting home around 11:00 pm, LOL.

This friend is the one who hasn't noticed my weight loss all this time and acted shocked when another friend asked how much weight I had lost and when I replied she said "Really, you've lost weight?". At the time I had lost 26-27 pounds.

I wore my size 10 jeans (since I can finally get in them) and she remarked about me "getting skinny", LOL. I was very good and avoided all the fattening snacks everyone had and the great thing was that I wasn't hungry after a very filling dinner I had before leaving.

We got a chance to schedule some activities for our group in September and October that I hope will pan out since I think they will be a lot of fun for us and the kids.

The first day of regular full-time school went okay yesterday. My son, who has some learning disabilities, did pretty well for it being a first day of school so I'm pleased. I know we'll get all the kinks out and things will flow more smoothly after a week or so and once we all get used to some of the new curriculum I purchased.

I still have to unfortunately purchase about $50-$75 more curriculum items for us after spending hundreds at the home school curriculum event we went to in July, but I think we'll be done after I purchase these items and won't have to purchase anything but odds and ends every once in a while after that.

I'm a little sad because our head librarian is retiring today. We've known her (and in fact she and the other lady who retired a few years ago) were the first people we met when we moved to this little town. The library is practically our 2nd home so we got to know them well and they got to know us as well. We will probably take time to go by the library today to her retirement party and wish her well on the rest of her journey in life.

  

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60SIXTY 8/31/2010 8:16AM

Size ten jeans Report Inappropriate Comment

Busy Weekend - Starting New School Year Today

Monday, August 30, 2010

Tonight we are having a mom's night out although we're not technically going out, but rather going to a friend's house. Hopefully the kids won't have to come with me (since it's a mom's night out event) but my husband is on call so who knows what will happen?

We're getting together to try to schedule events for our home school group, eat desserts that everyone brings (I will just forgo that and drink lots of water), look over what curriculum each friend bought this year for their kids (the great thing about home schooling is that you get to chose your curriculum and what works best for your children), and general girl talk.

We had a fantastic time at the public pool yesterday. My kids were so glad that Dad went with us and actually got in the water and swam with us. The kids got a lot of exercise because we stayed there for around 4 hours and we had a lot of fun as a family.

I can tell it's going to be stressful getting back into the full-time groove of school again today. I have made sure that the kids have some of work to do over the summer so they don't forget everything they have learned, but boy is it hard getting introduced to new curriculums, a stricter schedule, etc.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KISSFAN1 8/31/2010 8:02AM

Caroline - I miss you being on here too. I hope work winds down a little bit and you're able to take some time to relax and take it easy. We're about 5 hours from both the North Carolina and South Carolina beaches so the hurricane would have to go pretty far inland to affect us although we sometimes get the rain or stormy weather effects from them. I miss the ocean so much, but when it's hurricane season I'm sort of glad to not be near them since we did experience Hurricane Hugo years ago in South Carolina. Sorry to hear about your diet not going well, it's so hard to do the things we want to when we're busy. My exercise lately just stinks to be honest although I'm doing well on my calorie intake. Take care and hope you're able to relax soon. Report Inappropriate Comment

CAROLINECHICAGO 8/30/2010 9:38PM

Hi! Glad to hear you had a good weekend. You don't live too close to where this hurricane might land its outer spirals, do you? We're starting to get in the groove with school--but my work has been insane, so I haven't been blogging much. It's so sad. I log in, log my food and go. Very lonely. Miss you! But hopefully things will soon calm down and the school year rhythm will kick in! BTW: My diet has really been bad. I need to dig out the slow cooker for football season. Good luck w/ your first week of school! Report Inappropriate Comment

My Bargain Shopping Saturday

Sunday, August 29, 2010

We plan to go to the public pool today as a family since my husband is not on call with his job. It should be a lot of fun and the kids are looking forward to it.

I had the most wonderful bargain day yesterday. I went to most of my favorite "bargain" places and found a few new ones too. I got my daughter some pants and me a shirt for 99 cents, a brand new hardback college dictionary (like we used to have in public school for everyone to share in the classroom) for $5 at a new bargain store that opened recently, some heirloom tomatoes that I found at a local farmer's market for the same price as regular tomatoes, Maybelline make-up (blush and eyeshadow) for 99 cents at The Dollar Tree, etc.

The eyeshadow had 3 shade of shadow in it, so it's a great bargain and the blush is loose mineral blush that I've seen for close to $10 each in other stores.

I know 99 cents isn't the cheapest price ever for clothing, but we've not had a lot of yard sales around here for the last two years and if I can get clothing for 99 cents and look for the clothing inside an air-conditioned building vs. being outside in the hot, muggy weather, then it's worth the extra 50 cents I'm paying. At least the clothing is hanging on racks as well so I don't have to bend over like I do at yard sales, so it's a win-win situation for me.

Another new bargain store I found was actually in my own town. A friend of mine asks me almost everytime she sees me if I have gone there and I have to say that I haven't because the outside of the building just didn't appeal to me. I have no problem with thrift stores not looking great on the outside because I know there are bargains and potentially great bargains on the inside, so it's not an issue. With grocery stores, I'm used to a regular looking, mass-marketed grocery store and generally don't go to a lot of mom & pop grocery stores.

As I mentioned above, I thought it was a regular overpriced mom & pop type grocery store and since I have my favorite places to shop for food (Trader Joe's, Sam's Club, Wal-Mart, and sometimes Harris Teeter and Bi-Lo) I just never bothered going inside to see what they had. By tthe way, this place is probably a mile or less from my house.

Well since I wasn't going yard saling, I decided to stop by on a whim and see what was so enticing to my friend. It was sort of like a resale grocery store in a way with lots of frozen foods (name brand) and lots of food items that were dirt cheap and also contained health and beauty items and produce. I was shocked that they had some Trader Joe's items, organic hamburger (which I plan to purchase the next time I go by but couldn't get it yesterday since I was heading out the opposite direction of home), expensive name brand food items that I only purchase when I have a great sale and double/triple coupon events at Harris Teeter or Bi-Lo, etc.

I got some Wilton decorative cake items for 79 cents each (for my son's birthday cake in September), Wolfgang Puck soup (same soup I bought at Harris Teeter but it was around $3 a can and no, I didn't pay that amount, LOL) for 79 cents a can, name-brand hair accessories for 25-75 cents which I have seen in Wal-Mart for around $3-$4, etc.

I guess I know where I'll be adding to my bargain stop routine in the near future. The other new bargain store I discovered is a new store in the next town that opened recently that I bought the new hardback Webster's College Dictionary at for $5. It was wrapped in plastic wrap and was just what we needed for our home school since some of the children's dictionaries we have don't have all the words we need to look up.

This same dictionary is around $25 everywhere else so I was thrilled and so was my husband. He was wanting me to purchase one in a regular store (we were making due with other dictionaries we had as well as the dictionary online site) but I just can't pay full price for things and was happy to find a bargain price.

I keep telling him to have patience because eventually I will find what we need or want at a good price and almost always I do just that. :-)

  

Thanks Everyone For the Support

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Thanks everyone for the comments you made on my Spark Blog yesterday. It meant a lot to me and I appreciate the time you spent commenting on my situation.

I'm going to do what I normally do when I'm in pain (no, not gorge on food, LOL) and that is stay busy and get things done that I need to get done for my family.

We did a test run of some of the home school curriculum that I purchased back in July at the home school curriculum fair and I realized there are a few things I need to purchase to go with the books, particularly the science book I bought.

The children seem to like the history and science books I purchased so far although as usual, they aren't thrilled about math or grammar, LOL.

Despite the stress I'm dealing with right now, I'm still doing great with my calorie intake and I'm not gorging or going overboard with food. I'm proud that despite my emotional state that I'm remaining in control, but boy has it been hard lately.

I've been searching for another church consignment sale to take all our excess kids' clothes, books, etc. to and I think I found my third one. I have one sale coming in the beginning of September and whatever doesn't sell I hope to take to this third one that I found. This consignment sale is closer to my home than the other 2 but you don't get as big a percentage of your sales as the others. I figure by the time I take everything to the first 2 sales, I'll be happy to get anything for what is left over.

It sure beats having to hang on to fall/winter clothes that the kids can't wear anymore and hold on to them another whole year since the next sales after these will be next year for spring/summer clothes and I can't bring fall/winter clothes to those sales.

I need some extra income anyway to pay for the curriculum I still need to purchase, but was unable to find at the home school curriculum fair, so hopefully the last two sales will help with that.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BNBLYNNE 8/31/2010 10:26AM

I'm glad you have learned how to deal with your situation. Report Inappropriate Comment

KISSFAN1 8/30/2010 3:29PM

Thanks Irishgirl74! Report Inappropriate Comment

IRISHGIRL74 8/28/2010 10:27AM

I hope things work out! Report Inappropriate Comment

Dealing with the Emotional Hurt

Friday, August 27, 2010

I hope to stay home for a change today and get some things done. I have to prepare for our new school year starting next week so I'm trying to organize all that plus get the house in shape for the weekend.

I'm still feeling very depressed right now due to family situations. I'm blogging about this because my instinct right now is to go gorge on the tortilla chips and hummus with abandon and I know why I'm wanting to do that but figured it was best for me to write about it, whether anyone reads it or not.

My mother and sister joined Facebook a few months ago (I'd already been a member for awhile before they became members). My mother sent me an invitation but my sister didn't because we are not on talking terms at all. She is exactly like my mother and abuses her daughter in so many ways that I can't bear to be around her. I've tried to stand up for my niece but I keep getting it turned around on me and accused that I hate her. Why would I be standing up for her if I hated her? I'm the only one doing that and the only one brave enough to say something about the situation she's under. I try not to blame my sister or mother in the situation and focus on my niece only when I mention things, but they have turned on me like I am the devil.

As a result, I have had to sadly give up on helping my niece and live with the fact that she will have the same exact childhood as I did and feel unloved and uncared for. She is already showing really bad behavior as a result and I wouldn't be surprised to see her pregnant at an early age in her search for love and acceptance from someone.

My mother and I have never had a good relationship because she has never given me unconditional love or acceptance. I've tried my entire life to please her and do everything I could to make her love me, but to no avail. I realize now that she is incapable of it so I have quit trying to please her and just leave her alone. I realize she is furious that she doesn't have the control over me anymore that she once had. She doesn't really love me, she just wants to be in control of me and to feel like she has the power to hurt me as deeply as she possibly can.

I've seen her do it to other people and laugh about it, so I'm not oblivious to how she works. She is very cunning and will smile at you while she searches to find your weaknesses so she can attack them when you least expect it. As a result, I'm always on my guard where she is concerned because I know how she works.

When she sent me a Facebook invite I waited awhile before I accepted, because I knew it was not because she cared about me, but was more to punish me and see what was going on in my life. Well what I knew would happen has, she posted pics on her FB page and made sure one was sent to me so I would see them.

What do I see? Well, my sister is her FB profile pic with the words "My **insert my sister's name) on it and my sister's name is listed first as her children. I am the oldest and you would think that you would name the oldest first. A silly thing to mention I'm sure, but if you knew my mother, you would know it's done intentionally that way. Everyone I know who has more than one child lists them in order of who is the oldest first including me.

She had 1 pic of me with nothing written under it at all, but tons of comments on all the other pictures.

What other pics does she have? Well tons of pics of my sister and family at last Thanksgiving that I was not invited to so I would be sure to see it. And the hits keep coming.

I truly don't understand why a mother of all people would go out of her way to hurt her child that she gave birth to, but that has always baffled me my entire life and I have always felt that I was unloved and unwanted by her as a result. I felt like nothing good was supposed to be a part of my life because I obviously didn't deserve it because I never felt I was supposed to be happy.

This as well as tons of other little barbs and hurts she goes out of her way to kick me in the teeth with has caused me to be very upset lately. I try avoiding her as much as possible because she only wants me in her life to punish me. She was abused as a child, and as a result abuses me. My sister makes sure it is known that she and my mother are close and best friends so I know (as if I didn't know it anyway) that I am not accepted or loved by any of them.

I can identify with my niece and the way she is treated by my sister because I was treated the same way, but they twist everything around and accuse me of hating her, etc. The sad thing is, it's my sister that hates her own daughter, not me and they hate that I can see the truth. Nice family huh?

So I'm dealing with wanting the hurt to go away and wanting peace and no drama in my life to happen. I stay away but I get blamed for things even though I haven't spoken to my sister in almost a year and haven't seen her in years. Facebook is their way of getting to me since I avoid them at all costs. I knew better to not accept my mother's invite (my sister pretends I don't exist so no invite from her which is fine since I would not have accepted anyway), but part of me knew that if I didn't, the price would have been even worse than accepting.

So I'm da**ed if I do and da**ed if I don't.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BNBLYNNE 8/31/2010 10:26AM

Hugs to you. I do not understand why some families can do this to each other. Block them both on facebook so you do not have to see those pictures that bother you so much. Report Inappropriate Comment

KISSFAN1 8/31/2010 8:56AM

Thank you so much Caroline for taking the time to read my ongoing family saga post and for your comments. They mean a lot to me. Report Inappropriate Comment

CAROLINECHICAGO 8/30/2010 10:07PM

I just saw your post. I'm so sorry. My husband had similar issues with his father. It's so wrong . . . but I know I don't have to go there with you. Just de-friend them on Facebook and try to move on and enjoy your life with your wonderful kids and husband. As my husband has always said, "If it hurts, why do it? You wouldn't keep hitting yourself with a hammer." Hang in there, sweetie. Report Inappropriate Comment

KISSFAN1 8/28/2010 8:27AM

Thank you everyone for the encouragement and for listening to my pain. It's not always on my mind, but it seems she "hits" me emotionally from time to time so it's fresh in my mind again. I'm done with the abuse and although I don't have a relationship really with them, it seems they try to find other ways to "get me" since I don't go down to visit anymore and can't do it in person. I'm done with Thanksgiving visits anyway since it is a 4-5 hour drive and I have to turn right back around and come back home the same day since my husband ALWAYS has to work the day after Thanksgiving. I'm not driving 8-10 hours in one day and get abused and treated badly on top of that. My parents don't celebrate other holidays because of the religion I was brought up in, but my sister and I do. I do that alone with my family as well so I'm used to doing it alone. All my family lives in another state so as dysfunctional as they are, they are near each other and can be together but I feel abandoned because I'm in another state (not their fault, of course) and also feel like I'm shunned from the family for not accepting the abuse that has been doled out to me all my life. I'm used to being alone as I mentioned earlier so I will accept that and deal with it, but when family members who should love you attack me for no reason and call me up and leave terrible comments on my answering machine or to me, then I have no use for that type of behavior. Report Inappropriate Comment

SUZYMARC 8/27/2010 9:15PM

I am so sorry this is the situation you must live. Your mom doesn't know what she is missing in having a healthy relationship with you. Maybe beyond the control factor she is actually jealous of you and the traits you so wonderfully carry. I too have tried to rescue a niece for many years but the abuse and twisted behaviors outweighed my good influences and attempts at constant communication. A child will copy what is in front of them on a daily basis. How you managed to get out of that loop, is a wonder and a GOOD one at that. You cannot let their toxic behavior bring you down, that gives them back power. Besides remember you don't want that negativeness being somehow absorbed into your own children who have a wonderful mom who loves them enough to make them a priority. Avoid the facebook scene and ignore her. I'd like to believe she may change for you, but honey it just might never happen. Love the family you have created, teach your children your wonderful ways, and make a new legacy that carries on encouragement, family love, and respect. Report Inappropriate Comment

MARSHASTAR 8/27/2010 11:04AM

I'm old now and can finally look back and see what a hard life my mom had. She never liked me at all, and I finally accepted that fact and was able to start finding ways to be kind to her anyway. Yours is a sad situation so many have experienced. You have to know you are an exceptional person just because you are you. Your mom may never see that, but it isn't your fault. Surround yourself with people who can see your greatness - avoid your family if they bring out negative feelings in you. Oh, yes, avoid those facebook encounters. Best wishes to you. Report Inappropriate Comment

CLASSYLADYMAY 8/27/2010 10:35AM

OH i so know a little how you feel.. But even thou your mom wants to control.. she still loves you.. she just doesnt know how to show love in the right way.. maybe it comes from how she was brought up i dont know.. the thing is we know our parents arent perfect so excepting them as they are is best.. but one thing for you to do.. as my mom died and had a stroke before that and i didnt get a chance to tell her what i wanted to tell her and feel that i should have, because i resented her so much and stuff that hurt me, i should have told her. So its hard but i would tell her how you feel, if you dont it will affect you all your life.. and then when you want to tell her.. you might not be able to . Dont think bad of yourself.. you are a awesome woman and your mom just losing out on the best life with her daughter! Report Inappropriate Comment

MRE1956 8/27/2010 9:33AM

Wow.....this is such a shame..... about your family situation - blood is not always thicker than water, sad to say..... Report Inappropriate Comment

MYBULLDOGS 8/27/2010 9:17AM

anyone can produce a child. it takes a parent to raise a child. we all have our crosses to bear. you are not alone with having difficult family members. just because you have the same blood doesn't mean they are truly family. been there, done it. don't let them drag you down. get off facebook and move on and enjoy your life. live your life for you. good luck. Report Inappropriate Comment