Sunday, September 11, 2011
I wanted to first state that this day will always remain in my memory until the day I die and will never be forgotten. I did not lose any one that I knew on this day ten years ago, but regardless if I knew them or not, they were fellow Americans and fellow human beings who did not deserve what happened to them on this fateful day that will always remain a day of history that we wish had never happened.
I'm getting stronger every day and can slowly see improvement from my surgery which is a welcomed event for sure. I am now finally dealing with some distracting pain but my husband says he thinks that is because I'm getting up and walking around instead of lying in bed and that's probably why my pain has increased.
I've had a few people ask me what surgery I had, and thought I'd post about that. I had several fibroids and polyps on my uterus that were causing me to bleed excessively, causing a lot of pain, and other issues. I was told that I could have them removed or have a hysterectomy and I chose to go with the less invasive surgery.
Because I have severe nausea when I'm put under anesthesia I was given a patch to wear behind my ear right before they wheeled me into surgery. At my last surgery they gave me some type of medicine in my i.v. to help with the nausea but had lots of trouble waking me up and they had to stop it so the nausea came on after major surgery which wasn't good with all the stitches I had. Apparently a lot of new remedies for that have developed to help with nausea since I had my last surgery years ago so this go around I was able to get help for the first time ever.
The patch was wonderful and allowed me to go home the day of surgery since I was able to take a few sips of ginger ale and get up (with the help of a nurse and my husband) and go to the restroom instead of having to stay overnight as I always had to after surgery because I could do neither of those things because of severe throwing up that went on for what felt like forever.
Unfortunately the patch caused severe dry mouth (to the point although I could eat, it was very difficult even after taking several mouthfuls of water after one bite), dizziness, and blurriness in my eyes.
I was thrilled to have very little nausea but the blurriness was terrible because I couldn't read very well and it made me feel woozy because of the dizziness too.
That is all past me now and the major issues I'm having now is pain in my abdomen and top of the legs and the lack of strength. I'm walking around the house and trying to get my own meals (just reheating things, not major cooking) so help my husband not be completely worn out as well as to hopefully get my strength up and get my muscles working again.
You tend to take little things like giving yourself a shower every morning, going to the restroom on your own without help, etc. so when surgery post-op things come up it's hard to give up that independence. I obviously don't need to depend upon anyone helping me get a shower, etc. still but I did let my husband run errands today and pick up some items that I normally do myself.
I know in a few weeks I'll most probably be back to normal and hopefully feeling better than ever since the fibroids that were causing me so much pain and bleeding will hopefully be gone for a very long time, but it's hard for me to be patient, but I'm trying.
Thanks to all of you for your kind posts the last few days and sorry that I keep focusing so much on this but it just feels like it's controlling my life at the moment and there isn't much else I can focus on as I am trying to eat healthy, but haven't been able to do any exercising (other than my normal routine of getting out of bed, walking up and down the stairs, etc.) but I hope to be able to start that in the near future when I'm better.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
I can feel myself improving every day now and things are getting better after my surgery. The problem is I am very impatient and I want to be 100% better now but it's not going at the pace I want it to. I'm still having a little pain that is annoying but not horrible, but it's the lack of energy and strength that is the major obstacle for me right now.
I'm bored silly because I don't feel well enough to do anything and I really felt sad yesterday that I couldn't go to the kid's first day of home school P.E., but I was so thankful that my friend picked them up for me so they could go. They had a great time and from what my friend told me, the turn out was wonderful.
I'm getting around (meaning walking around the house some) more now and I actually took a shower by myself and made up my bed for the first time. Those things sound so little and nothing really and you tend to take them for granted, but I sure don't now. My husband fussed at me for not calling him since he was afraid I would fall in the shower since I'm still dealing with spaghetti legs and a sense of light headedness, but I guess I'm stubborn and I want to be independent in something.
He's been great and I've tried really hard to take it easy (as much as I can, LOL), but I really have been resting and taking it slow, but really, really bored and depressed about being stuck at home so much 24 hours a day.
I just want my life back and want to be mom, wife, friend, etc. again. I'm a little bummed too (although I shouldn't be since I expected it) that my mother has really no interest in how I'm doing. To be fair, she did call the day of surgery but only for a second and I haven't heard back since. I shouldn't be disappointed I know, but I have to be truthful and say that I am and so I'm a little down from that too. I guess I thought that me having surgery would cause some concern for her, but as expected, she is the same mother I always had which is a mother that really has never shown any interest in me or my well being.
My daughter was very stand-offish with her while she was here on Labor Day and I know my mother had to pick up on it. My daughter wasn't rude or anything like that, but she is at the age now that she can't be fooled by people who "fake" things with words but not actions. My son is much more accepting of it, but I could see that my mother has lost any chance of a relationship with my daughter because my daughter is not willing to fake things.
I'm trying hard to deal with emotions (wanting to cry all the time, but not allowing myself) but when I watch any footage of 9-11 it brings the emotions on big time.
It's hard to believe it's been 10 years and I still remember that day and will never forget it as I know most of us that were old enough to remember won't.
Friday, September 09, 2011
I hope my blog today actually makes some sense. Oh my gosh, I guess I shouldn't have been blogging the day after surgery.
My surgery went well, the nurses were great and so nice, I was well taken care of by them and by my husband. The funny thing is he is exhausted and while he did a great job, he didn't do all the things I do every day, so I think he has an appreciation for all that I do. He mentioned that there was a lot to do with cleaning, cooking, schooling, etc. LOL I love being appreciated and I love him knowing that what I do is not always easy and does take up a lot of time and energy.
He is very dependable and I can always count on him to take care of things, even if they aren't the way I would do them or his cleaning isn't as "tidy" as I would do it. I do appreciate that I married the type of man that I did though and he will always makes sure the kids and I are taken care of.
My vision is still not 100% what it was and are still slightly blurry, but no where near as bad as they were a few days ago. I had very little nausea (thank goodness) because normally I am in majorly sick from that after surgery for days. This new anti-nausea patch they give you before surgery is awesome, but it does tend to have some annoying side effects like dry mouth (very hard to eat anything even after chugging water after every bite), blurry vision, and dizziness/headache.
The patch is off so the side effects are not as severe as they were but I'm still a little woozy and light headed and my vision is still a little blurry, but not like 2 days ago thank goodness.
I had a wonderful homeschool friend bring prepared food for my family the other day so all my husband had to do was heat it up and cook it which was deeply appreciated.
My pain is no where near as bad as I expected and I didn't even need the Percocet that the doctor prescribed. I'm having pain in my upper legs (been hurting since surgery) and I was told it was because my legs were in stirrups for so long. I have just slight cramping in my abdomen so nothing horrible or excruciating, which is great.
My parents came the day before surgery and it was very awkward and uncomfortable, but I tried my best to be positive and not show how I felt. My mother commented numerous times that I must weigh only 90 pounds and asked me continuously if I was done losing weight. She has not seen me in a very long time so I could tell it was a big shock to her and she couldn't hide her shock very well.
As usual, it wasn't really a visit that made me feel better nor did it provide me with warm, fuzzy feelings of being cared for at all, but again I tried to be friendly and accommodating.
The kids are supposed to start P.E. classes today with our home school group for the first time and a friend of mine is going to pick them up for me and take them since I can't really drive right now.
My husband has to go to work today so I'm going to miss all the help he has given us and again I'm so thankful that I married a man who takes care of business when there is a crisis or an emergency since he and I are what we have to depend on in times of sickness, etc.
Thursday, September 08, 2011
I'm still struggling with being able to see clearly right now so may make a million mistakes on this blog. I am able to eat fine and didn't experience much nausea at all (as I normally do) after my surgery thanks to a patch they put behind my ear.
Unfortunately it has caused some dizziness as well as dry mouth and blurry vision. The blurry vision is driving me nuts because while I can see, small print like what I'm typing is very blurry.
Surgery went fine, I was in som epain, but they gave me some medicine in my iv to help with that. I'm still very weak and wobbly but trying to get up out of bed from time to time so I dont' stay weak.
I'm trying hard to get better and I'm a little frustrated with this blurriness because I can't read in bed or get on the internet much since everything is blurry.
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