Saturday, September 22, 2012
Another week has come and gone and my nerves are building. Next Saturday the 29th I am participating in the Nor-Cal Tough Mudder and I am not nearly in the shape I had anticipated when I paid my entry fee last January. There has really been no consistency in my strength training since May and the last month there has been a lack of consistency of making it to the gym just to do cardio. Tough Mudder suggests being able to jog 5 miles on a consistent basis before taking on the course. I can't really jog at all :( I can walk and I do that quite a lot so I will just have to walk the 12 miles I suppose. Although I am sure that I will end up jogging, ignoring the pain it causes me due to the adrenaline pumping through the crowd. My only goal for this event is to finish, to survive the 25 obstacles somehow. I'm anxious, excited and scared, should be a good time.
This week I did better with going to the gym, but still slacked off a bit the last couple of days. I did 135 fitness minutes, could have and should have been more, but I can't change that now. Also, my eating was better this week. I definitely had a couple of off plan meals (nachos anyone?) but over all I did a better job.
I had some stress lifted off of me also when I found out that my final paper for Global Economics and Business Applications had passed. That's 4 more units down (84 units in less than 2 years) and a real monster of a class out of the way. I also wrote a paper this week that I had been sort of putting off for a while because I knew it was going to be a bear. It was indeed a bear, with tons of researching to find all of the pertinent information. I got the paper written (10 pages single spaced) in one day, but that was a terrible day! Most papers take me 3-4 hours to write, this one too approximately 11 hours to write with just a few short breaks here and there. Long, miserable day, but it's done.
Anyway, you didn't come here to listen to me complain about school, you came here to laugh and mock me for my failures!! (kidding) But no failures this week, only triumphs! Let's get to the numbers and see how they stack up:
Weight : 222.6
Lost : 3.2
Total : 94.6
It was a good week for weight loss, maybe I'm back to doing the right things? I'm getting close to being back at my all time low of 217.2, just 5.4 lbs away now. It's too late for me to be in better shape for the Tough Mudder this year, but if things go well (I don't suffer catastrophic injuries) I will have enough time to be in better shape for next time.
So for now friends, I bid you adieu. See you on the flip side.
2011 Nor-Cal official Tough Mudder video:
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Long and dreary, each day seemingly endless; time almost standing still yet still no time for rest. The pain of life endures through the fog of internal war, the din of battle always ringing in my ears painfully bringing tears to my eyes.
That first paragraph means nothing, I just started to type and that's what came out. Sometimes when I need to write a paper I just can't get started so I just type a word or two and then let my fingers roll with with whatever comes out. I usually continue on to writing what I need to write and go back and erase that initial paragraph. This time I decided to let it stay.
Okay, so this week I was at home with my mom each day, I had all of my workout equipment available to me here, lots of things I could do to get my minutes in. So how many fitness minutes did I get this week?? 20 Yep, 20. I walked on the treadmill one day for 20 minutes. It was so boring! At the gym I throw on my ear buds and watch a tv show but out on my patio I had no tv to watch and I don't have a working mp3 player (or much music on my computer to transfer anyway) So I just walked looking at my back fence. Boring.
So no working out but I could combat that with proper diet. So I had steak and rice pilaf twice, corn dogs, and other various crap. Not everyday mind you, but over all I'd give my diet a grade of D for the week.
So let's see how that translates into numbers:
Lost : .8
Total : 91.4
Holy cow, all of that inappropriate eating and lack of exercise equaled a loss of .8! Perhaps if I eat a little better next week and actually get some exercise I could lose a little more and feel more like my old self. I think I may give that a try.
My mom is doing much better and getting around pretty good with her walker. I think I'll hit the gym after taking my son to school in the mornings just to be sure that I get some gym time in. And I'll make more food for myself instead of looking for whatever is going to be easy and fast.
That's it for this week. Be well people :)
Saturday, September 08, 2012
This was a very long week. It started out alright, getting some gym time in on Monday and Tuesday and eating not too badly (but not too clean either). But on Wednesday things got a little hectic. My mom went into the hospital that morning for a total hip replacement. So I've been driving back and forth (about 40 minutes each way) to visit with her for a few hours each day in the hospital. Then on Friday it was my son's 16th birthday and in my family we have a tradition that the birthday person gets to have whatever they want for their birthday dinner. My son wanted me to make a paleo pizza that I'd made a few months ago. So I took an hour to shop and about 2 hours making the no-carb pizza crusts. Hunched over the counter whisking and kneading ingredients just killed my back, but hey, the kid only has one birthday a year!
Now that this week is over, I am hoping that I can get closer to being back on track. Although I will be the main person taking care of my mom here at home because my dad has a long term substitute teaching job for the next month so I'll be the only one home to help her out. Not complaining mind you, she's my mom and it's the least I can do. I just don't think I'll be getting to the gym much this week. I know what you're thinking, I can go to the gym in the evening while my dad looks after my mom... not gonna happen. The gym is always crowded in the evenings and I have loathed crowded gyms since I first joined one at age 15. But I do have a treadmill, stationary bike some dumbbells and my kettlebell here at home so I SHOULD be able to get some exercise time in. Of course I still need to write papers for school too. sigh.
I need to officially write my numbers down here so I feel more accountable. I have just been so "off" since my vacation but it's time that I owned up to it instead of just being vague.
Weight : 226.6
Gain : 2.8
Total : 90.6
I was down to 223.8 last week and I ballooned up a bit this week. But on the plus side, I am not feeling depressed now, just concerned that I am not ready for Tough Mudder on the 29th. I guess I'll just have to see what happens.
Thanks for reading and thanks for all of the support. It's good to have friends that understand what you're going through.
Sunday, September 02, 2012
I have some admissions to make. I was not good this past week. I ate pretty terribly and I only got to the gym a couple of times. I have also been derelict in keeping up with you all, reading your blogs, checking my friend feed, etc.
Yesterday was my grandmother's memorial service, it was nice. The only tears I saw were shed by my over dramatic cousin who enjoys having attention paid to her. It was a nice service, but still it was sad.
Another admission, I've been depressed. Not from the passing of my grandmother, not from putting a few pounds back on, not from feeling like I'm not prepared for Tough Mudder at the end of the month. Not from any one thing. Possibly from a lot of little things all bound up together; all that I've mentioned already plus bummed about writing papers for school, not having a job, my back and hip hurting and always feeling lonely.
I kind of feel like I'm in quicksand. I attempt to break free of how I feel but the harder I've tried to shake the feelings, the more I'm pulled in. I just came home from a vacation, but maybe I need some time off from stressing about what I'm eating and how much time I spend in the gym. I need to get back to enjoying preparing my food and going to the gym. Lately it's all been drudgery and that's a problem. I haven't enjoyed going to the gym for several weeks now, it's begun to feel more like I HAVE to go and spend so many minutes each week there. I want to enjoy going to the gym again.
I'm not enjoying life right now and having just a little depression makes things so much worse. I need to relax, breath and find some enjoyment and try to break this cycle and get back to being myself.
I did drop 1.2 lbs this week but still have 6.6 lbs to get back to my low of 217.2.
Also, I didn't write any of this to try and get some sympathy or pity. I just wanted to in some small way put down on (virtual) paper a little of how I'm feeling. Thank you.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
I missed writing last week's blog because I was in Victoria, BC, Canada at the time, on my last full day of vacation. I've been home since the night of the 19th but only made it to the gym one day this week due to circumstances out of my control.
My father and I spent all week at the senior complex apartment where my grandmother lived. We packed and moved all of her stuff out, it's surprising how much stuff you can fit into a small apartment!
Except for my grandmother passing away while I was around 1,000 miles from home, the vacation was a good one. I'd never been to Alaska before and the scenery was both beautiful and majestic.
This is Ketchikan, looking towards downtown.
This is the ship we were on. 4 decks above the middle lifeboat is my brother and his girlfriend, the cabin to the right of them was my parent's and the one to the right of that was mine and my son's
Here's a picture of downtown Skagway, looking towards the mountains.
In Skagway my son and I went into the mountains and rode some zip lines.
This is my son 'trust falling' backwards from a zip line platform.
And me coming down a zip line.
The day before I left for vacation I weighed in at 217.2, exactly 100 lbs down from where I started. Of course that Saturday was a free day for me and I ate well. Unfortunately, the whole next week was full of free days as well!! But I knew that going in and I was planning on using the ships gym each day to stay on top of things. Well, I never actually made it to the gym, was always busy or worn out from being busy. But I can honestly say that I walked more that week than any other week since I got my driver's license in 1986! Even all of that walking didn't help me much though because I weighed myself on Monday morning of this week and I was at 230.0!!! I was up 12.8 lbs over the course of 9 days. LOL
I didn't eat that well this week and didn't get much gym time in but I was still able to drop 5 lbs. from Monday to today. However, I am still 7.8 lbs above my lowest point. But the weight will come off and I had a good time so I think it was worth it.
My son even got a picture of a black bear cub at the Mendenhall Glacier Park outside of Juneau.
I should have more pics soon. Pics that need to be scanned, pics that are on other people's cameras, etc. This is all you're getting for now :)
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