Friday, November 11, 2011
My Dad is a Vietnam Veteran. I think he served in Germany and Vietnam for a total of 33 months. He tells everyone how he came back a different person. I can understand why, although I will never fully know how since I was not around then. I try to thank him when I can. Not just for serving the country, but also for providing for me and caring for me. Happy Veterans Day to all of the Vets and their supporting families.
It is also 11/11/11. I always say 11:11 make a wish! So I was pretty excited for the day =) I like writing the date on all of my work today!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
I have been wanting a new job for a long time. I almost quit once about 6 months ago. I barely get paid anything here, but have to do everything. I really need a job because of some kind of income, but mostly because of insurance. It only cost me $40 a month when I first got it. Now it costs $100 a month. I still have not gotten a raise after 2 1/2 years of working here. They "can't afford" to give it to me. When I almost quit a while ago, I told the manager I only work here still because of the insurance. There was no reason to lie and say I would stay because I like it here. After that argument, the owner said he would try to change the company a bit to make things more organized. He said he would hire someone new for the one position where someone quit. Well he had me put up job ads 3 times now, and still never hired anyone... Nothing is fixed and it is actually worse because everyone is so fed up with each other. I really want another job, but I am using the insurance a lot right now because of my arm (they still don't know the problem). I can't get on my fiances insurance until we are married. I don't really want to stick it out here another year before that happens. Sigh. I don't think I could afford insurance on my own unless I get a job that pays a lot more than what I am paying now. Everytime an argument starts up here, it is never my fault. Everyone knows I didn't do anything wrong, but they still like to blame me. When they know they are wrong, they don't even say sorry. If I make a mistake, I admit it and fix it and try not to do it again. Everytime there is an argument now, I can feel my blood pressure go up. I get so flustered because I physically hate it here now. I have almost walked out about 4 times now. I need to really put resumes out there because I can't just quit here although I would love to. I would love to just make more mistakes like the rest of the people do here. I just can't afford to get fired now. Plus, I am not a bad person, so I don't think I could do that anyways.
I just got an argument with the owner today because of a seminar he said he wasn't going to do. He has known about it for 4 months, and said no no no until just now apparently. I am the one who has to put together all of the flyers and brochures and samples for those kinds of things. Since we don't have enough money to pay for extra printer ink or extra paper, I can't just make extras and have them here. So he just tells me now that he is going to do it and the seminar is next week. There is other stuff I have to do (because I do everything here). I told him I wish he gave me more than a week, because now I barely have any time to put things together.
Anyways, I need the motivation to do something about my situation. I guess I could try to cut costs somewhere else and put it towards insurance. I guess I could always ask my parents if they could help me out for a little bit. Damn stress is killing me. I hate feeling physically sick with this crap!
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
The title says it ALL. Now that I am feeling a bit better, I need to start doing this again. I know the pup would love more walks. I brought out my winter jacket so I can stay warm while I walk. I just want to get more socks. Most of the pairs I have are too thin, or they have holes in them!
Monday, November 07, 2011
I was sick for a while.. I actually still am a little bit =( Sinus infection & 2 ear infections. My head still feels stuffy & my ears feel stuffy too. I was using the phone app to calculate my food & water, but I didn't feel like doing anything else here on spark.
I am ready to go home already although it is only 10am, ugh! I had a dream I got a new job and the whole dream was me putting away clothing items haha. I dream a lot more when I am on medication.
Friday, October 28, 2011
My RA Dr just gave me this diagnosis of fibro on Wednesday. I have been to my regular Dr who had me get blood work, xrays, nerve tests, and then he sent me to an orthopedic. He saw me for 5 minutes and told me he couldn't help me & referred me to an RA Dr. The ortho Dr thought I may of had RA. The RA Doctor gave me antiflammatory meds and gave me more blood tests. I just got the blood test results yesterday and he told me he thinks I have fibromyalgia because everything else came out negative. I am 26 and have been having bad headaches since I was 14. I went to different neurologists and Drs and no one could figure out why. The only trigger I could find was strong smells, but I also get headaches randomly with no smell associated with it.
My main reason for even seeing the Drs was because I have hand pain and shoulder pain on my right side only. It is really tingly even if it isn't hurting. I didn't do anything to it, so I am not sure how it happened. It has gotten worse over the past 2 years and my neck has been bothering me too. My Dr thinks I may have fibro because of other symptoms not related to the pain: fatigue, very sensitive to pain if I bump into something, headaches, anxiety, tummy problems, low vit D, and some depression. I have been doing some reading and everything I see says it is pain in all 4 quadrants. I haven't really noticed pain in those areas like I do on my right arm. He gave me a prescription of Tamarol, but I didn't try it yet because I want someone with me the first time I try it. I have pain during the day, and he said to take it at night. I don't wake up at night because of pain, so I don't know what to think...
I want to see my regular Dr. again to see what he thinks. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated!
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