Friday, May 03, 2013
It has been super slow at work this past week. Quarterly payrolls are done. April 15th is long gone now. The accountants still have work to do, but I have none right now. Since I have had free time, I have been browsing on Spark friend blogs again. I noticed about half of the blogs mention the words "scared" "worried" and/or "upset".
We are all on Spark for a reason. Some of us want to fit into a dress for a wedding. Others want to lose their freshman 15. There are other Sparkers who are training to run marathons. Some of us can afford personal trainers and some of us use laundry detergent as weights! No matter what the reason, we are all trying to better ourselves in some way. I think we should all give ourselves a pat on the back for being on this website. No matter how we are feeling right now, we have all accomplished some kind of goal. Most of us have many goals for the near and far future. We all stumble at some point. Just being on this site shows you have the strength to better yourself even if you don't see it!
I wish everyone would take a minute and just breathe. Give yourself a hug - give yourself a compliment! We are all different, but we all deserve the recognition of being a good person. Even if you feel weak, you are still a great person. Your goal may be to not drink soda for a day or run 20 miles in one day. Even if we don't reach our goals right away, we still deserve a reward for trying. The reward could be telling yourself "you WILL do it tomorrow!" Keep moving forward and look to the next day. Just saying "YES " instead of "maybe" can really help!
I get scared about losing weight. Actually, I still feel scared about it. I get nervous about what people I don't know think about me. In the past, I used to be really upset about it. I put all this energy into being stressed over something I can't control. People will think what they want no matter what to do. People in general are never satisfied. I wish I could show everyone that you need to care about yourself! If you aren't happy with yourself, take small steps to try to fix it. Maybe learning to love your attempt to better yourself can be even better than getting to the end result. Use the energy you put into stress into something else!
Everyone can lose a pound in one way or another. The journey we take is still important no matter which way we go. We all have good days and bad days. I wish I could help everyone who was having a bad day. Sometimes when I am down, I try everything to make myself smile - but it doesn't always work. I just try to remind myself that I have the chance to try again tomorrow. Life is short, and we may not have a tomorrow, but I still try to tell myself Now that I can't give up!
I am still one pound away from my goal weight. Am I scared? Maybe. I don't know. Am I worried I will never lose that one pound? Yes and No. I KNOW I could get to 155 if I only ate celery and carrots all day. That wouldn't be worth it. I don't want to lie to myself about the weight loss. I lost so much weight, and I don't feel like the person I see in the old pictures of myself. It would be so easy to just eat unhealthy foods again. It would be cheaper, more convenient, and tastier! But I need to stop and give myself that pat on the back to keep myself going. It isn't easy to be on this healthy journey. I know it isn't always easy for my Sparkfriends also. Life isn't easy. Life is a challenge!
Thank you to everyone who has posted on my blog, and also on other pages! Your support is appreciated! Hopefully everyone has a nice rest of the day. Even if you went over calories for the day, don't give up. Even if you wanted to go to the gym but can't - don't give up! Keep sparking!
Friday, April 26, 2013
That was definitely a strange Blog Title - but it is true! I have been growing out of my old workout clothes again. Most of my tight-fitting workout pants are too big. When I run, they slide down. Only one pair has a string where I can tie them tight. I have been trying on new pairs of pants, and none of them have string on the waist! Even when I try on the smaller size, I jump up and down a few times and the pants just start to slide off of me. When I ran the 5K a few weeks ago, I had to literally hold up my pants the whole race. It was a super pain!
I only saw one pair of running capris in the local Sporting Good store which had string- and they were $60 and hot pink! No thanks! I bought a pair 3 weeks ago which fit me perfectly(no string) and they still slide off of me when I train. I don't understand - I guess it is just how my body is?
Any suggestions on what type to buy or what to do to help with this problem? The only pairs I see that have strings are the loose pants. I don't want to run in relaxed fit pants! I have been to 4 stores now and I am having trouble finding what I want! Boo!
Anyways, work has definitely slowed down. I have had time to actually browse online today! I even commented on some fellow Sparkfriend blogs today! I have a 5K tomorrow, and I wasn't feeling up to it the past two days. Then I read some other blogs, and now I feel better about it! It should be a nice sunny day - so hopefully it isn't too cold when I actually run!
I went to my first NHL game last night. It was super fun! Even though I am not a huge Hockey fan, it was definitely the most exciting sporting event I have ever been to! The Flyers are not in the playoffs, but the fans were still so awesome. It was great!
Hopefully everyone has had a wonderful April so far. April 26th already - WOW! I don't know what May goals I want to create yet - but I need to start working on that soon!
Monday, April 22, 2013
Happy spring everyone. It has been a while since I posted.
I got all of my blood work results back - I don't have lyme disease. My iron is at 20 and it should be 40 or above? Also I have low Vit D. I have been taking iron and Vit D for the past 2 weeks. The Dr told me the Vit D would give me more energy in a few weeks. I don't know if I have more energy, but I do feel happier. Even in the mornings when I wake up, it is easier to get out of bed. Now I even smile in the morning instead of being grumpy! I just need to KEEP taking the supplements! That is the toughest part for me!
I still watch what I eat. I try to walk and get in extra exercise when I can. Tax season is over, and I have more free time on the weeknights and weekends. I ran a 5K 2 weeks ago & I have another one this Saturday. I went to a 1 mile benefit walk this past weekend. However... something is missing. I don't have the urge to come on Spark people too often anymore. I do love reading the progress of other people. I miss the challenges - for some reason, I have really been slacking on posting on them - sorry teams. Even though I am not losing weight, I am not gaining weight either.
Even though I can fit into size Large and some Medium shirts now, I still hate my body. Since I lost so much weight, the body I have under my clothes is not attractive to me at all. Everyone says I look great -but they don't see the stretch marks and extra skin. I really should go to the gym and work out differently to maybe try to change my body. But I don't have the extra money to spend for a gym membership. Plus, I don't have the motivation to make myself work out that much. It is frustrating - I have come in so far and changed so much in my life.
I am happy in most of my life now - which is a change from the past years. I wasn't miserable before (except with how much I weighed). But now I feel more like myself. Somehow I have changed so much for the better and I love it. However, somehow I have been stuck. I can't push myself harder right now to lose more weight. I am so close to my goal, but I just can't force myself to get there. Maybe I am happy so I am distracted? I am not eating too bad though. I still make great, healthy choices when I am eating most of the time. I do have french fries sometimes, but I limit how often I have them. I want to start Zumba again next week since I won't be working when they have class! I just don't know how to push myself harder. Part of me doesn't want to push harder because I might give up altogether. I am happy on the path I am on until I look at body in the mirror. I wish I knew what to do!
I could starve myself for a week and get to 155- but how is that worth it to myself? I would just gain the weight back the next week and that wouldn't be right. I don't want to cheat the system just to say I reached my goal weight for a day!
Oh well! I need to sit down and make some time for myself. Maybe sitting down and thinking out some different goals will change my outlook again on my weight loss.
Hopefully everyone has a great week! Keep pushing towards all of your goals. I am still trying to reach my goals, it is just tough for me to reach my weight loss goal right now!
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
Thank you to everyone who has supported me! I really appreciate it. Every compliment and piece of advice and support really helps me going forward! Thank you!
Normally every month I post my goals for the month. I have been very busy with work and my personal life. Instead of posting my normal goals, I just want to post about what I would like to accomplish this month and what I have planned.
I have two 5K races. One is 4/7 and the other is 4/27. Since I have been on the antibiotics, I have not been exercising because I still don't feel 100%. I am doing yoga tonight after work. I definitely don't feel ready for my race on Sunday - I want to ask my Dr if I should do it or not. Maybe I will walk most of it if I don't feel well. I still want to go even if I can't run.
Once tax season is over, I will have time to go to Zumba again. I miss going! The weather is nicer, so I want to be outside. I just have to definitely make sure I check for ticks right away. I am still waiting for my test results.
Instead of having a weight loss deadline this month, I am getting rid of it for now. Instead of feeling disappointed, I want to focus on other things I KNOW I can do. I do want to reach 155, but I know it won't be this month. I need to work up to exercising more often. I will get there, I just know it will not be this month.
This month I want to accomplish:
-Keep tracking my fitness and food
-More craft projects.
-Keep moving forward - happiness is very important!
-Plan more girls-day-out events if I can.
-Pay off more bills
-Be outside and exercise as much as I can
-Not worry about my weight loss goal. I still want to track, but I got rid of my deadline
I did an Easter pot project which turned out pretty cute. When I get more free time, I want to make more things. I miss doing that!
Hopefully everyone has a fantastic April - actually hopefully you have a great week & a great day! Whenever I get sick, I am thankful for every day I have where I don't feel sick. Since I am feeling a bit better, I am trying to be thankful the best I can! There is a lot going on in everyone's lives, and every bit helps! Don't give up on your goals - just modify them. I am not giving up on my weight loss. I am just changing it to help me get through it!
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