Monday, October 15, 2012
First off - Man this weather is crazy! It was so cold Saturday morning & then yesterday it was gorgeous! Today it has been rainy and kind of warm. Crazy fall so far!!!
I had my second 5K on Saturday morning. I got up at 7:15am, and I wasn't tired at all. I was really surprised I was ready to move pretty fast! I was really nervous about it Friday night, but I didn't let myself get too worked up.
My ex left me a present on my car - hand & feet warmers. I didn't want to put the adhesive feet warmers on because I Didn't want to get any weird blisters or anything during the race. My feet actually weren't cold at all. I put the handwarmers in my stretchy gloves & I wore them for more of the race. I threw them out halfway during the race when I saw a trashcan because I wasn't as cold anymore. There were a lot more people at this race compared to my first one. There were a lot of teenagers who were just going to walk & not be timed.
The one thing that really made me feel funky was the cold air. It really hurt my throat during & after the race. I kept having to clear my throat the whole rest of the day! The park was really nice. First we went through the park, then up this very long hill. We went through a residential area for a half of a mile or so, and then this random trail showed up in between two houses. There was more park area back there. I wasn't really near anyone for most of the race. I randomly caught up to someone at the 2 mile marker. I kept trying to jog as much as I could. I would randomly have to stop & walk when it was too much. I kept doing this over and over for the whole race.
I wanted to get under 37 minutes, but as I was racing, my mind changed. All I wanted was to get it over with! I was feeling really emotional because that day was going to be my wedding. My whole life changed, and instead I was running a 5K as a single young woman. I didn't give up & I kept pushing myself. It felt like I was running for an hour. As I approached the finish line, I couldn't see the time too well. I just ran as fast as I could at the end! I saw the time was 36 Something - I was so glad I finished & I was under 37!!!
There were so many baked goods at the refreshment tables - it was so weird to see so many brownies, doughnuts, cookies etc. I ate a banana and then took an apple & protein bar with me. I also took two doughnuts & brought them for my parents. I saw other people with plates full of food, so I figured it would be ok to take 2 goodies for them. I wasn't even tempted to eat them- woohoo!
My official time was 36:36! I had to email the coordinator to find out where the times were posted. She just got back to me with the website!
First 5K 9/30: 37:37
Second 5K 10/13: 36:36
My legs aren't as sore as they were the first time I ran the 5K. They still hurt, but not as much! I am really glad! Hopefully as time goes by, I will recover faster & faster!
Some 5K Challenge updates: As of right now, I am at 169lbs. That is 81 pounds lost. I am still having a tough time with the lower calorie range. I am not really going over, but I am more frustrated. I eat less during the day, and then have to catch up more at night. I need to figure out how to get more veggies & fruits in!
This work day flew by today because of the tax extension deadline. I offered to wait to take lunch until I was done processing returns. I didn't get to take lunch until 2:45! I went to Target and bought a thin rain coat with a hood & also a nicer trench coat to wear. I am going to wear it for my cousins wedding in 2 weeks if it is cold.
Hopefully everyone has a great rest of the week! Keep Sparking!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Fat! haha I still feel fat. I remember a while ago I posted a blog saying "I lost X lbs and I still feel fat". It is true. The thought of still being chubby is there! However, I don't feel as big. Actually, I haven't felt big in a while except last night when I saw the pictures of me in my undies. I think I felt bigger again because I still have a lot of flub in spots I want it to be gone at! Plus, I normally don't see myself from the side or the back like that! When I have clothes on, I don't see my body overflowing out of my underwear and I like it a lot more. I know I need to learn to be more comfortable in my own skin. I am working on it!
Besides feeling a lit big still, I also feel:
I posted some pictures of thing that are approx 80 pounds at the bottom of this blog. Check them out! I will post pictures of me 80 pounds heavier soon! Ick!
I took progress pictures last night! I DID! However, I don't have them on my home computer yet.
I am going to put them on tonight & post another blog very soon! I don't like how the pictures turned out - just because I didn't reach my goal yet. But I looked back at my OLD pictures.. and yuck. I don't even feel like that person anymore. I shed 80 pounds and a lot of negativity went with it!
I didn't reach my first BIG goal yet - to be at the high end of my healthy weight: 155. but I know I will!!! The only thing that would stop me is Me! and I won't let that happen!
I can't wait for my 5K on Saturday! I still never thought I would be excited about jogging & completing a race! My second one so far!!
Thank you SO much to everyone here at Spark. I love all of the features here. The support is amazing. Just reading comments from one member to another helps inspire me. Everyone is here for their own reasons, but they are all important to me! I hope everyone has a great rest of the week, year, lifetime! and Keep SPARKING!
A lovely member sent me a Sparkmail not too long ago about HOW I lost my weight so far - I wanted to copy and paste some of it on here. Maybe some of my ideas will help someone else out!
here is a random list of what I do & don't do with my diet:
-I track everyday - even if I can't do it on the weekends, on Monday I go back and enter everything. or I pre-track. If I know what I am having for breakfast and lunch, I put it in early and then I have a better idea of what I can have for dinner
- I don't weigh food, so if I think I am over 1 serving, I count it as 1.5 or 2 depending
-I don't eat red meat - ok I occasionally will have ONE meatball. I don't consider myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat sausage, bacon, steak, burgers.. anything like that anymore.
-I eat Turkey burgers, turkey or chicken sausage, tuna, other types of chicken.
- lots of veggies with dinner! The more veggies I have, the less meat/rice/pasta part I have
-I don't eat fried foods like mozz sticks, cheesesteaks, crispy chicken, etc. The only thing I would eat would be french fries - but I started a 5% weight loss challenge for 8 weeks and I told myself NO french fries for 8 weeks!
-I don't eat cookies or cake or candy. Occasionally I will have some icing off of someones cake, but otherwise I just say No. I would rather have more dinner than a brownie.
-I cut back on cheese a lot. Most of the time, I don't even taste cheese on a sandwich. So I cut it out!
-I use egg whites.
-I don't use any butter or margarine at all. I completely cut it out. I use oil sprays or maybe a bit of oil depending on what I am cooking
-If I eat out, I make a lot of changes to what I am getting. If it has cheese, I say no. I order extra veggies, but ask how they are prepared.
-I eat 50 calorie sliced bread, whole grain pasta, brown rice
-I eat 90 calorie granola/fiber snacks.
-I don't eat potato chips. I like pretezels, wheat thins... I don't weigh food, but I try to count out the serving size if it says it on the package. I count it out at home and keep mini-snack plastic bags full so I can just grab one.
-I do like tortilla chips & salsa though.. but I want to cut back on that a lot because of this weight challenge!
-I drink water and diet iced tea and hot tea. Sometimes I have a small glass of fat free milk or use some with cereal. I don't drink soda except diet coke if I have an alcoholic drink - but I try to stay away becauase the calories are crazy in drinks!
Monday, October 08, 2012
Warning: This blog is a bit blah. I try not to put too much detail about the blah parts of my life in this blog, but sometimes I just feel like I have to! I hope everyone has a spectacular Monday!
In general, I am a pretty upbeat person. If you had read some of my other blog posts, I am sure you have seen my !!! and happy faces all over the place. Even in person, most people know I joke around and giggle a lot. I crack jokes & try to find the upside of most situations. I do have some sides of me I struggle with.
I have made a lot of progress with my weight loss & with eating healthier. I definitely have come a long way since I started Spark almost 14 months ago. I still feel troubled with some other aspects of my life. When it comes to choosing a banana or a cookie, I know what is healthier for me. Some people will choose the cookie, and I am ok with that! I have my own plan & I am happy with it!
What some people don't know is that I feel broken in other aspects of my life. I don't talk about it a lot, but it is still there. I try to remember this with everyone I talk to. Everyone has their own story. They also have their own way of handling things.
People say Time heals. I do believe time does help heal things, but I think attitude and outlook can definitely speed things up or slow things down. A negative attitude and keeping emotions bottled up inside can sometimes cause more problems than solutions. At least for me, if I stay sad, it will make things worse for me. I used to be so angry, sad, and I almost gave up wanting good things. I don't know how it got like that, but it did. Whenever I used to be happy, something bad would happen & it would make me feel worse. I didn't want to be happy anymore because I felt like it would get ruined in some way. Something in me changed. I suddenly realized how far away I was from my true self. I can't change the past, but I do remember how I was and how much I don't want to be like that anymore. Instead of sulking, I keep my head high and keep smiling.
Now, I try to stay happy even though I know life is complicated. I can't please everyone - it isn't possible. I need to keep putting myself first! I sit and think before I act. I try to play out every scenario in my head before making decisions. When I do make a decision, I ask myself if I will be happy or content with it. If I will be miserable, why should I keep making those decisions? Life isn't fair, but I need to keep telling myself I deserve to be HAPPY! I may be hurting one or two people along the way, but I can't help everyone. I can't fix everyone. I can only give advice, and try my best to please myself and everyone else.
Sometimes when I read some random Spark blogs, I get this funky feeling inside of me. I can tell some members are so sad and frustrated with life. I wish I could just spend a day with them, listen, and help change their outlook. Unfortunately, I can't do that. I also can't do that with people I see everyday. I offer advice when I can, but true change comes from within. We all need to figure out our own way to handle everything in our lives! For me, I just think I need to stay happy to live a fulfilling life.
Life is too short. I can't keep putting my wants off forever. My goals are my own! If i don't reach them right away, only I can determine how I will react to that. Will I give up on myself, or keep pushing? I smiled my way through my 5K even though I wasn't ready for it. I finished at my own pace, and I think I can do the same thing with my life. I know I still have to do some things I don't want to do, but I still try to be pleasant and smile when I can. I make the best of what I do have instead of being miserable!
Sorry if those paragraphs don't make much sense. I just feel off today, but I am going to keep smiling. The 5% challenge started, I am going to fit in 45 minutes of exercies in tonight, I am going to be more prepared for my 5K which is on Saturday, and this day will be over before I know it. I can't give up just because I don't feel 100% like myself today. I am very thankful for Spark & this wonderful community. Even if I am having a terrible day, I know I can come here and feel better. I am much more than a number!
I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Keep on Sparking & try to keep going in your own way!
Friday, October 05, 2012
Zumba last night was great. It was a small class, but I had an awesome time. I realized I don't really talk to anyone there. I don't know why, but I always have trouble talking to people. I guess I don't really have anything to say? I just go in, do my zumba thing, and leave! The instructor knows me by name, and is very friendly! I always keep a smile on my face, I just don't have the urge to start up random conversations. If someone talks to me, I always answer in a polite way. I don't know if I will ever grow out of feeling insecure. I definitely changed a lot, but sometimes I still get embarrassed for no reason. It is all mental!
The 5% Fall challenge starts tomorrow! For some reason, I feel like my whole life is going to change starting tomorrow. I am feeling nervous, anxious, excited, worried... This should just be another day for me, but I am part of a team now. I really want to do this. I feel like I can lose the weight in 8 weeks. I have the support from my parents and a few friends, I just don't know if I can do it. I haven't been actually disappointed in myself yet. I just hope I won't be disappointed if I don't lose the weight. I have done a great job so far - I know I have. I have completely changed my life. I make healthier decisions now, and I feel better mentally! Even though I have stress, I try not to let it build up and weigh me down. Good luck to everyone in the challenge & also to everyone else who has their own challenges and goals!
My shoes are being shipped out today. I can't wait to get them - I hope they fit!
Hopefully everyone has a lovely weekend! Keep Sparking!!!!!!!
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