Thursday, October 11, 2012
Fat! haha I still feel fat. I remember a while ago I posted a blog saying "I lost X lbs and I still feel fat". It is true. The thought of still being chubby is there! However, I don't feel as big. Actually, I haven't felt big in a while except last night when I saw the pictures of me in my undies. I think I felt bigger again because I still have a lot of flub in spots I want it to be gone at! Plus, I normally don't see myself from the side or the back like that! When I have clothes on, I don't see my body overflowing out of my underwear and I like it a lot more. I know I need to learn to be more comfortable in my own skin. I am working on it!
Besides feeling a lit big still, I also feel:
I posted some pictures of thing that are approx 80 pounds at the bottom of this blog. Check them out! I will post pictures of me 80 pounds heavier soon! Ick!
I took progress pictures last night! I DID! However, I don't have them on my home computer yet.
I am going to put them on tonight & post another blog very soon! I don't like how the pictures turned out - just because I didn't reach my goal yet. But I looked back at my OLD pictures.. and yuck. I don't even feel like that person anymore. I shed 80 pounds and a lot of negativity went with it!
I didn't reach my first BIG goal yet - to be at the high end of my healthy weight: 155. but I know I will!!! The only thing that would stop me is Me! and I won't let that happen!
I can't wait for my 5K on Saturday! I still never thought I would be excited about jogging & completing a race! My second one so far!!
Thank you SO much to everyone here at Spark. I love all of the features here. The support is amazing. Just reading comments from one member to another helps inspire me. Everyone is here for their own reasons, but they are all important to me! I hope everyone has a great rest of the week, year, lifetime! and Keep SPARKING!
A lovely member sent me a Sparkmail not too long ago about HOW I lost my weight so far - I wanted to copy and paste some of it on here. Maybe some of my ideas will help someone else out!
here is a random list of what I do & don't do with my diet:
-I track everyday - even if I can't do it on the weekends, on Monday I go back and enter everything. or I pre-track. If I know what I am having for breakfast and lunch, I put it in early and then I have a better idea of what I can have for dinner
- I don't weigh food, so if I think I am over 1 serving, I count it as 1.5 or 2 depending
-I don't eat red meat - ok I occasionally will have ONE meatball. I don't consider myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat sausage, bacon, steak, burgers.. anything like that anymore.
-I eat Turkey burgers, turkey or chicken sausage, tuna, other types of chicken.
- lots of veggies with dinner! The more veggies I have, the less meat/rice/pasta part I have
-I don't eat fried foods like mozz sticks, cheesesteaks, crispy chicken, etc. The only thing I would eat would be french fries - but I started a 5% weight loss challenge for 8 weeks and I told myself NO french fries for 8 weeks!
-I don't eat cookies or cake or candy. Occasionally I will have some icing off of someones cake, but otherwise I just say No. I would rather have more dinner than a brownie.
-I cut back on cheese a lot. Most of the time, I don't even taste cheese on a sandwich. So I cut it out!
-I use egg whites.
-I don't use any butter or margarine at all. I completely cut it out. I use oil sprays or maybe a bit of oil depending on what I am cooking
-If I eat out, I make a lot of changes to what I am getting. If it has cheese, I say no. I order extra veggies, but ask how they are prepared.
-I eat 50 calorie sliced bread, whole grain pasta, brown rice
-I eat 90 calorie granola/fiber snacks.
-I don't eat potato chips. I like pretezels, wheat thins... I don't weigh food, but I try to count out the serving size if it says it on the package. I count it out at home and keep mini-snack plastic bags full so I can just grab one.
-I do like tortilla chips & salsa though.. but I want to cut back on that a lot because of this weight challenge!
-I drink water and diet iced tea and hot tea. Sometimes I have a small glass of fat free milk or use some with cereal. I don't drink soda except diet coke if I have an alcoholic drink - but I try to stay away becauase the calories are crazy in drinks!
Monday, October 08, 2012
Warning: This blog is a bit blah. I try not to put too much detail about the blah parts of my life in this blog, but sometimes I just feel like I have to! I hope everyone has a spectacular Monday!
In general, I am a pretty upbeat person. If you had read some of my other blog posts, I am sure you have seen my !!! and happy faces all over the place. Even in person, most people know I joke around and giggle a lot. I crack jokes & try to find the upside of most situations. I do have some sides of me I struggle with.
I have made a lot of progress with my weight loss & with eating healthier. I definitely have come a long way since I started Spark almost 14 months ago. I still feel troubled with some other aspects of my life. When it comes to choosing a banana or a cookie, I know what is healthier for me. Some people will choose the cookie, and I am ok with that! I have my own plan & I am happy with it!
What some people don't know is that I feel broken in other aspects of my life. I don't talk about it a lot, but it is still there. I try to remember this with everyone I talk to. Everyone has their own story. They also have their own way of handling things.
People say Time heals. I do believe time does help heal things, but I think attitude and outlook can definitely speed things up or slow things down. A negative attitude and keeping emotions bottled up inside can sometimes cause more problems than solutions. At least for me, if I stay sad, it will make things worse for me. I used to be so angry, sad, and I almost gave up wanting good things. I don't know how it got like that, but it did. Whenever I used to be happy, something bad would happen & it would make me feel worse. I didn't want to be happy anymore because I felt like it would get ruined in some way. Something in me changed. I suddenly realized how far away I was from my true self. I can't change the past, but I do remember how I was and how much I don't want to be like that anymore. Instead of sulking, I keep my head high and keep smiling.
Now, I try to stay happy even though I know life is complicated. I can't please everyone - it isn't possible. I need to keep putting myself first! I sit and think before I act. I try to play out every scenario in my head before making decisions. When I do make a decision, I ask myself if I will be happy or content with it. If I will be miserable, why should I keep making those decisions? Life isn't fair, but I need to keep telling myself I deserve to be HAPPY! I may be hurting one or two people along the way, but I can't help everyone. I can't fix everyone. I can only give advice, and try my best to please myself and everyone else.
Sometimes when I read some random Spark blogs, I get this funky feeling inside of me. I can tell some members are so sad and frustrated with life. I wish I could just spend a day with them, listen, and help change their outlook. Unfortunately, I can't do that. I also can't do that with people I see everyday. I offer advice when I can, but true change comes from within. We all need to figure out our own way to handle everything in our lives! For me, I just think I need to stay happy to live a fulfilling life.
Life is too short. I can't keep putting my wants off forever. My goals are my own! If i don't reach them right away, only I can determine how I will react to that. Will I give up on myself, or keep pushing? I smiled my way through my 5K even though I wasn't ready for it. I finished at my own pace, and I think I can do the same thing with my life. I know I still have to do some things I don't want to do, but I still try to be pleasant and smile when I can. I make the best of what I do have instead of being miserable!
Sorry if those paragraphs don't make much sense. I just feel off today, but I am going to keep smiling. The 5% challenge started, I am going to fit in 45 minutes of exercies in tonight, I am going to be more prepared for my 5K which is on Saturday, and this day will be over before I know it. I can't give up just because I don't feel 100% like myself today. I am very thankful for Spark & this wonderful community. Even if I am having a terrible day, I know I can come here and feel better. I am much more than a number!
I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Keep on Sparking & try to keep going in your own way!
Friday, October 05, 2012
Zumba last night was great. It was a small class, but I had an awesome time. I realized I don't really talk to anyone there. I don't know why, but I always have trouble talking to people. I guess I don't really have anything to say? I just go in, do my zumba thing, and leave! The instructor knows me by name, and is very friendly! I always keep a smile on my face, I just don't have the urge to start up random conversations. If someone talks to me, I always answer in a polite way. I don't know if I will ever grow out of feeling insecure. I definitely changed a lot, but sometimes I still get embarrassed for no reason. It is all mental!
The 5% Fall challenge starts tomorrow! For some reason, I feel like my whole life is going to change starting tomorrow. I am feeling nervous, anxious, excited, worried... This should just be another day for me, but I am part of a team now. I really want to do this. I feel like I can lose the weight in 8 weeks. I have the support from my parents and a few friends, I just don't know if I can do it. I haven't been actually disappointed in myself yet. I just hope I won't be disappointed if I don't lose the weight. I have done a great job so far - I know I have. I have completely changed my life. I make healthier decisions now, and I feel better mentally! Even though I have stress, I try not to let it build up and weigh me down. Good luck to everyone in the challenge & also to everyone else who has their own challenges and goals!
My shoes are being shipped out today. I can't wait to get them - I hope they fit!
Hopefully everyone has a lovely weekend! Keep Sparking!!!!!!!
Thursday, October 04, 2012
The 5% challenge starts so SOON!
One of my bosses knows a lot of my weight loss. He asks about Spark, asks how much I have lost so far, etc. I got a new pair of pants that actually FIT! They aren't baggy and don't slide down at all. I love them. That boss gave me a crazy compliment today. He said "Wow, you are Slim Kim!" I said "not yet, but hopefully soon!" He asked how much more to go until my goal. I said I wanted to lose 16 pounds to get to a healthy weight for my height. He said "Wow you will be 100 pounds then!" I said "not quite, but thanks!"
Obviously I don't look like I weigh 120 pounds now, but I am glad all of my hard work definitely is making a difference. Looking better is just a bonus in all of this for me. I am not trying to impress anyone. but it does boost my confidence. I lose weight, feel healthier, and then push myself to do more. When I push more, I lose more weight and feel even better! Every step is important in my journey. I try to remember this in other aspects of my life too. Everything that happens creates a chain reaction. If I am moody, I may give someone attitude. They might be in a grumpy mood because of me & then I would feel even worse. I try to stay positive even when things aren't going smoothly! Life is too short!
Zumba TONIGHT! I ordered two pairs of sneakers online - a pair for Zumba and a pair for running. They both may not fit, but hopefully they do! I am really excited about it. I think I got pretty good deals, so hopefully they are a good fit for me. If not, then I will keep looking!
I scheduled my exercise for next week before the 5K. I don't want to do 5K training Friday night & then run the next day! Even though I don't have yoga anymore, I kind of like having an open night. I can do Zumba on Monday or Thursday - or both if I have the money for it. I still want to find some kind of workout dvd program to do at home. Someone suggested I try the insanity program. Maybe after the 5K on the 13th I will look more into it.
I hope everyone has a great rest of the week! My weekend is almost here! I get to do the rest of that stupid MRI tomorrow night, but thats ok with me. I need it & hopefully the specialist will be able to figure everything out at the end of the month when I go back!
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
So I had two tests at the hospital today. Something is wrong with my right thumb - my dominant hand. I didn't do anything to it to cause the pain. It has been on/off for years. In May, I helped someone move, and now it is a lot worse. It hurts when I write and I can barely open things. I got an X-ray and saw a hand specialist who has no idea what is wrong! I was told to get 3 more tests done - 3 phase bone scan, MRI & EMG/Nerve test. I had a bone scan & an MRI today. The bone scan was fine although I am radioactive now woowoo! The technician asked me to stay away from small children & older people for the rest of the day! eek! So I had my MRI for my hand too.... 20 minutes in, the tech told me she was going to reboot the machine because of an error. I told myself in my head.... "I am going to have to come back another day..." 30 minutes later, she told me it still wasn't working! haha. $200 for this damn MRI! I can't believe the machine broke on me hahaha. Actually, I do believe it. Those things happen to me quite often. So anyways.. I have to go Friday night at 8:15 to get 9 more minutes of scans done. Damn! Oh well, I need it done! I just hope I don't have to deal with any insurance or co-pay BS because I will be going a second day.
I could be miserable with what happened, or I can just move on and keep going. I choose laughing at the situation over being mad about it. That stuff happens all the time to random people! Of course it would happen to me also =)
Anyways, while I waited around in the machine for that extra time, I was thinking about the 5% Fall Challenge. I still need to change my eating habits if I want to get this goal. Last night I had some tea instead of a big snack before bed. It really helped me out!
The countdown to my next 5K started! 10 days! My legs have still been so sore. I have been soaking them twice daily now! I have Zumba tomorrow night, and I am going no matter what! YES! Zumba tomorrow! I never thought I would be so excited to exercise. I still don't have the correct shoes. Bummer. I went on my lunch break a few times over the past 2 weeks, but I had no luck. Since I knew I would be gone most of the day for the tests, I have been working through lunches this week. Hopefully I find shoes this weekend or next week! I still need Zumba shoes & running shoes! They are expensive, but I definitely need both pairs. My Mom laughed at me when I said I needed running shoes. She said all sneakers are the same. I didn't feel like arguing with her!
2 more work days for me & then the weekend! Hopefully everyone has a great rest of the week! Keep Sparking! and stay away, because I am radioactive! WoOoOoOoO!!!
Get An Email Alert Each Time KIMPY225 Posts