KIMPY225   62,085
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KIMPY225's Recent Blog Entries

What else?! Accident & Birthday Weekend Blues *sigh*

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Usually I don't type TOO much about my life, but I just feel like I should. Sometimes I just have to express myself in different ways to clear my mind and get back to my normal self.

On my way home from work yesterday, my Mom's car got rear ended. I am alright & it wasn't my fault. I just got really nervous and shaken up about it. The car seems to be ok, but I still was all worried & weirded out this morning. At least I didn't have to drive. I got a ride to work. I am getting picked up after work & get my car back. Over $400 worth of parts had to be put into it. Fun fun!

If you asked me a month ago what I would be doing for my 27th birthday, I would have had an exact answer - I was going to go camping with my fiance, and 4 other people. We didn't get to go camping last year & also didn't get to go in May when I wanted to. Even though I knew July was going to be hot, I decided I wanted to camp in NY for my birthday.
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We aren't going camping this weekend & I also don't have a fiance anymore.
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Well, life is full of crazy twists & turns. All of us requested off Friday & Sat/Sun if they needed it. I don't really want to get into details because everything is a mess right now - but now my birthday plans are a mess. No camping. No wedding. I also lost a friend in all of this. I am trying to keep my head up because there is nothing else I can do - I can't get sucked into the sadness because that is where I kept ending up in the past. I need to keep moving Forward.
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I have been trying to walk everyday this week. It is a mini-goal, but if I can do it I will definitely be a bit proud of myself. Working out/exercising has always been tough for me. It is extra hard for me when I just feel like curling up and sleeping all day. I know I need to keep moving! For my physical & mental health!
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A few friends came out of the blue & asked if I wanted to get together this weekend. Some just asked because they know I am feeling down. Others actually want to celebrate my birthday. I am trying to be happy when I can. I am normally a pretty upbeat person, but I have felt guilty lately when I have happy moments. Hopefully in time I will be able to feel happy without being down at the same time.
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I need to watch what I eat this weekend since most of my meals will be out with friends & family. I have some walking/exercise already planned out too. Hopefully I don't get too bummed out this weekend. If I do, I just need to tell myself I will get through it! Damn time... damn complications. But such is life, right? If I didn't have the tough times, I wouldn't appreciate the good times as much.

Thank you to everyone who leaves comments on my page & blog. I really appreciate every one! I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SABLENESS 7/13/2012 9:35AM

    emoticonto you! You've had a lot of unplanned unwanted change, but you've got some good Plan Bs. Thanks be for caring friends who want to be supportive and make your birthday a good one, and for a new friend. Ditch the guilties over happy moments and enjoy them with all you've got. If you find yourself getting down, make a 10 items gratitude list before you do anything else. If you need some starters, give thanks for the clarity with which you're able to view your circumstances, for the friends you do have who care, for a job to go to--I've been out of work for 2 years, for this site where you can unload how you feel and know that you'll get support, for the determination that's keeping you moving even though curling up in bed is a tempting option. You take it from there. emoticon

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JEANINNEWCASTLE 7/13/2012 12:35AM

  emoticon I admire your determination to keep walking and taking care of yourself. I hope that you have a nice birthday weekend despite the sad circumstances.

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Rewards for saying No - not just for saying Yes.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Eating the right food & exercising is saying Yes! This is definitely a great thing. I created a reward system a long time ago for my eating right. After almost a year, it is a habit now to say yes to the healthy food.

For me... I realize how hard it is to still say No. I don't reward myself enough for saying No! Saying no to the bite of junk food goes a long way! Saying no to laziness & procrastination is also important! For me, it is a lot easier to say No to food. I will pack my own lunch, bring snacks to a friend's house, or make 10 changes to a menu item when I order it at a restaurant. I HAVE to eat food so it is easier for me to make better choices.

It is a lot harder for me to say No to laziness. I like being outside, but I usually like someone there. I need to learn to keep doing things for myself. Say no to being lazy & yes to working out by myself! I really think I should create that reward system for working out.. if only I could make myself do it! haha

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAI_ZEN 7/12/2012 12:21AM

    "After almost a year, it is a habit now to say yes to the healthy food." This is a huge accomplishment! Good for you!

Building on that success, you know you can change your habits for the good, and create the habit of fitness. Develop a reward system that works for you, and you'll be well on your way.
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KAPELAKIN 7/10/2012 10:47PM

    Do you have a dog, or do you know a dog you could borrow for walks? I found that having my dog look at me expectantly, hoping that we would go out for a walk, was often enough motivation to get out the door. Now it's a habit several days a week, but his enthusiasm always helps me get motivated, and I'm not at the mercy of someone else's schedule. Alternately, you could find a podcast or book on tape that you like, and only allow yourself to listen while walking/running, assuming you have a low-traffic enough area that you can do this safely.

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Some Pictures - 70 lbs lost

Friday, July 06, 2012

I didn't take any good pictures yet, but I have some old pictures vs new pictures of me. A few friends wanted to see the actual difference, so I put a few together. I can actually see a difference in them =) I want to try and get better pictures too. Eventually...

Seeing the pictures makes me want to lose even more. Thank you for all of the support so far! I hope everyone has a great weekend.




  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SABLENESS 7/13/2012 9:37AM

    Awesome pics! 70 lbs! I'm jealous! But I'll get there eventually.

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NEW_PARADIGM 7/11/2012 8:57AM

    Your hard work and dedication really shows! Your beautiful smile radiates even brighter!

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KAI_ZEN 7/9/2012 10:35AM

    Gorgeous!
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CAROLIAN 7/7/2012 3:14AM

    emoticon You are doing so well emoticon

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MCJULIEO 7/6/2012 2:54PM

    LOOK AT YOU!
What a wonderful example of success!
Love your smile!

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THE_NEW_MELISSA 7/6/2012 11:44AM

    You can definitely see it! Wowser! Great job!

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MELINDAKAYE2 7/6/2012 11:20AM

    Awesome!!!

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EVLOBOS310 7/6/2012 11:14AM

    Wow, you can really see how hard you are working, especially in your face! You look fantastic! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAPELAKIN 7/6/2012 11:14AM

    What an accomplishment, you're looking great! emoticon

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DOTTY7267 7/6/2012 11:10AM

    Thanks for sharing, you can really see the progress. emoticon

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SMURFETE09 7/6/2012 11:08AM

    You rock! You look amazing! Keep up the good work!

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Why can't I make myself work out?

Thursday, July 05, 2012

I want to workout more - I really do.
I can not eat cheese on a sandwich. I can stop myself from having that one last bite. I can pack healthy food for lunch everyday.. but why can't I give myself 30 minutes to work out? or even 10? I just don't get it.

For the food portion of this lifestyle, I have most of that under control. I track everyday, treat myself sometimes, and know what I should & shouldn't eat. I just can't get myself to workout yet. It has been almost 11 months since I first started Sparking. I don't need someone for food motivation, but it seems like I need someone to push me to workout. I do walk sometimes, but it has been hot out most days. Or rainy/stormy by the time I get to walk outside. I walked for 30 minutes on my lunch break last week. I liked doing that - but it is just so hot now. I don't want to be all sweaty and gross in my work clothes and then come back feeling nasty.

Maybe I should start up rewards for working out instead of for weight loss. I didn't give myself the last 3 weight loss rewards anyways so.. hmm. I am just so stressed lately with personal problems, so I am not really thinking about working out when I actually get the time. I only think about it while at work or when I can't!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLR080500 7/6/2012 8:55AM

    The rewards for exercise sounds like great motivation. I also once found it hard to exercise. However, I have found that it helps a lot with the stress in my life.

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KAI_ZEN 7/5/2012 12:26PM

    I think the rewards idea is a great one. Then you'll get to the point where the workout is a reward. It can really help with stress reduction, improves sleep, improves self-esteem, and gives you those powerful, feel-good endorphins. I think you form a habit of exercise, and then it feels like something is missing if you don't do it.

Find what works for you and your schedule. You can do it!

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PAMMY222 7/5/2012 9:49AM

    You and me both! I exercise in short (very short) streaks, then nothing for weeks. It is way too hot to get out for my regular walk, or even walk the dog! Where does the desire to exercise come from? And how do we keep it?
Keep up the good work with your nutrition, and, like me, just keep trying to get some fitness time in.
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70 pounds lost so far and I feel....

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Ok I do still feel fat. But that is ok. It took me a long time to get where I am at. I started Sparking in August 2011. I can't believe it has almost been a whole year since I changed my eating lifestyle. I am really glad I did start it. I feel healthier, and a bit skinnier too. I started at 250 and now I am at 179.4. I am proud of myself, but I still don't believe that I lost that much already. I guess I still feel chunky, so my mind isn't letting me fully acknowledge all that I lost so far.

I used to wear size 22 or 24 jeans, and now I wear size 14 or 16 (depending on the brand). I was wearing size 2X shirts but now I am wearing XL or L depending on the shirt. Sometimes I try on my old shirts just to see how big they really are now.

I definitely feel a lot healthier. It is easier for me to get around! I *still* need to take more pictures of myeslf, but I never think of it when I am near my camera!

My next goal is to lose 75 pounds total by August 1st. I really need to start working out more to get there! I think I can do it if I really focus on it. The goal after that will be to get to 155. 155 is the high range of the "healthy weight" for my height. I can't wait until I have lost that much - but I know it will take a lot of time and energy!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAI_ZEN 6/28/2012 12:42PM

    emoticon
I read somewhere that it can take 6 months for your brain to catch up and see yourself how you really look.

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LINDAMARIEZ1 6/28/2012 12:04PM

    What an inspiration! Keep up the good work! You will reach the goal you desire I can tell! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MCJULIEO 6/27/2012 10:20PM

    Wow! Wow! Wow!
Take those photos, and post them for us to Oooooh and Ahhhh over!
You are doing GREAT!

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TRYINGTOLOSE64 6/27/2012 9:55PM

    Congrats!! Keep up the good work!

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SUNFLOWER1024 6/27/2012 7:55PM

    Congrats!!! that's awesome! I'm starting where you started a year ago....a size 22. I refuse to get any bigger! Please inbox me any tips that you have that may help me on my journey...how did you eat? What did you do for exercise?

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CRISSA1669 6/27/2012 5:47PM

    Congratulations!! That is awesome!!

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REESYK 6/27/2012 5:34PM

    Congrats! What an Inspiration!

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CARLINICHOLE26 6/27/2012 4:49PM

    emoticon emoticon


You will get to your goal weight! You have done well!!

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CAROLJEAN64 6/27/2012 4:45PM

    I am impressed and I also know how you feel. It is hard to see a new picture of yourself in your mind. However, don't think only about how you look, but how you feel... more energy, better able to deal with frustrations, happier!!!

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BDAYGIRL3 6/27/2012 4:45PM

    Very motivational! Keep up the awesome work!!

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PATTOMMC3 6/27/2012 4:39PM

    emoticon That is awesome!

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