KIMPY225   61,193
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Happy Wednesday (try to have one!!)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I am trying to make the second half of my week better! The first half really got me

My Dad isn't doing so great. He has smoked since he was 12 years old, and now he is 64. He had a heart attack two years ago and had to have a pacemaker put in. His breathing is awful, but he still smokes. He will never quit because he is a stubborn Vietnam Vet. He goes to the ER because he can't breathe - about once every two or three months. Anyways, I stopped over on Monday to pick up some of the birthday presents that were delivered to my parent's house. I stayed for dinner and had to keep myself from crying. My Dad looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. He had a lot of stubble, and kept wheezing. I felt so bad for him. I know it is his fault from all of the smoking, but I still feel really bad because he is my Dad. My Mom told me she is trying to be accepting of the fact that there is nothing she can do. This makes me feel horrible. I feel bad for her too.

So between that and other stress with some friends, the beginning of the week had me feeling pretty down. I am finally starting to get over it. The special birthday plans I have for my fiance are next week!! Every day I give him a "clue" of what we are doing.
Some of the clues so far are:

There may or may not be food.
His response: So I may starve for three days. Great!

There may or may not be balloons.
His response: Ok, so balloon animals are definitely involved.

There may or may not be people there you like.
His response: Wow I guess all of my enemies will be there, thanks Hun!

Have a great Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLIAN 1/26/2012 1:49PM

    Sorry about your dad parents can be so stubborn,Glad birthday plans are moving ahead hope your fiance enjoys his day HUGSxxx

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WOLFRAML20 1/25/2012 11:50PM

    yay i am excited for the party or whatever you want to call it. sorry to hear about your dad. see you soon.

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MOEMOORE 1/25/2012 9:37PM

    Sorry to hear about your dad. And it can be so hard to watch the people you love make unhealthy choices. It is hard, but you do have to accept that we are all responsible for our own choices.

I'm sure you guys will have a blast with your plans for your fiance's birthday!

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MAMAWLINDALOU 1/25/2012 11:56AM

    SorryAbout your fathers health problems it does put a lot of stress on us in situations like this one. You are a strong person. Hope the rest of your week is better. hang in there!!

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TWINNYGRAN 1/25/2012 9:44AM

    So sorry to hear of your dad's health problems! You are clearly a great support to him. You sound like fun. Hope you have a great time at your fiancÚ's birthday. emoticon

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SUSANSCHLOSSBER 1/25/2012 9:25AM

  Sorry about your dad's health...you sound like a good support for him. Enjoying the clues you left your fiance. Best of luck to you!

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Onederland!!! Compliments can be a girl's (and guy's) best friend

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Happy Sunday! I can't believe I made it to One-derland!

Last night we went to a regift party. I knew I wanted to drink and have a good time. I looked up some lower calorie drink recipes & even watched my calories so I wouldn't go over too much. I know those aren't healthy decisions - but hey, I deserve a little break once in a while! The party was so much fun. When the host opened the door, she commented even before I took off my coat and sweatshirt. She said I was getting so skinny & looked great. About 30 minutes later, she asked how much weight I lost so far, and I told her almost 50 pounds. A girl I never met overheard me, and asked how I did it. I told her I use Spark! Normally I don't like to talk about the weight loss because I don't want people to think I am bragging. I am definitely not! I must admit, it did feel good to actually be asked advice. Later in the night, another friend came in and said I was starting to look so thin. I may have actually blushed. Normally I feel so out of place at any party because I feel like I am so overweight and everyone was looking at me. I am trying to tell myself it doesn't matter what I look like, but it definitely is nice to get some compliments. When we went out to lunch early in the day, I got a compliment on my glasses and eye makeup. Just that made my smile too. I tried to take a picture with my phone while I was laying down. I took my glasses off though. It reminds me of one of those Myspace or Facebook poses hahaha. I don't even think it looks like me!



I started to feel guilty for drinking, but then I realized there is always another day! I tracked it all & am actually awake at 730am!

I decided to weigh myself this morning. 3 days ago I hit 199! I like to get my weight on two different days before I officially count it - this morning I showed 198.6! I smiled and felt so good! I haven't been below 200 pounds since 2006. I still can't believe I have done so much already. I originally wanted to lose 50 lbs by October 2012 - and it is so crazy I lost it already!

I didn't get a chance to put the weight comparison pictures into the computer yet. Hopefully soon I can put them on here & actually see for myself what the difference is! I still have so much more I want to lose, but I am very proud.

I am so happy I found Spark. Thank you to everyone who has helped. Even just reading other blogs helps me out. I know we are all real people who have a somewhat similar goal. We also have some kind of common problem too! It is difficult sometimes to relate to other people sometimes when it comes to how hard it is to stay on track. Thank you again to everyone! You have all done such a great job and I hope you all stick with it!

My next goal is to hit 185 which will have me be at "overweight" on the BMI instead of obese. Hopefully my surgery wounds will be healed soon, and I can start working out more!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOEMOORE 1/25/2012 9:33PM

    WHOO-HOO!!!

Congrats on reaching Onederland!!

And you're right - you do need a break every once in a while! I'm glad you had a great time at your party, and when someone asks you, its by no means bragging! Its about sharing your story.

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JMACLIVES 1/23/2012 4:19PM

    YAY! That is a beautiful number, you wear it so well! Keep it up and remember there is no harm in celebrating, even having a drink now and then. This is not one of those restrictive diets filled with "don'ts" is a brand new life and obviously a brand new YOU!

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BEESMUM2003 1/22/2012 9:08PM

    WOOHOO!!! congrats on hitting onederland..l cannot wait for that day!! I am truly so happy for you!! emoticon

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 1/22/2012 5:31PM

    So happy for you. Compliments are sweet to hear, especially when for so long you just wanted to melt into the background and not be noticed. I know...I spent many years in that corner too. Good luck as you work towards your goal!

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QTEALADY20031 1/22/2012 5:27PM

    Congratulations! You are doing great on your weight-loss journey and accept those compliments with a great big THANK YOU! emoticon June

Comment edited on: 1/22/2012 5:28:11 PM

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HHB4181 1/22/2012 3:45PM

    Of course you deserve a break everyone one and a while!!! Glad you had fun at the party and to hear about all of your compliments!! Congrats!!
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PEPPYPATTI 1/22/2012 3:32PM

    Way to go, girl! I could just feel your excitement at the party! You are doing so great!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRGIRL78 1/22/2012 3:25PM

    emoticon

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Still Stressed, but keeping my smile on!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Life is still tough right now. I am trying not to let it bring me down, or I will be in a funk which will be extremely hard to get out of.

There are so many little good things going for me right now, and I am making sure I remind myself of them! My fiance's birthday events are coming up soon and that makes me so excited. I designed a banner and had it printed out to hang in the apartment. The dollar store helped me get some more birthday decorations. Too bad I have to wait to put them up! haha. Poor guy, I keep reminding him "It is almost your birthday!" I even made up a couple birthday songs about it haha. When I get really happy, I make up silly little songs.



It is almost Friday!!!! Saturday I am going to a fun re-gift party with my fiance and friend. It is usually a fun time to see all of the silly gifts people bring!

Hopefully everyone had a wonderful Thursday! Even when times are tough, just breathe and think back at all you are doing to make yourself a better person! We all deal with life everyday. Good luck to everyone!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLIAN 1/22/2012 3:17AM

    It's years since i went to one of these parties nobody seems to have them now .HUGS xxx

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MOEMOORE 1/22/2012 1:07AM

    I think we all should have a silly song playlist. The songs that make us smile no matter what is going on! Isn't it amazing the power of music?

I know the birthday celebrations are going to be great! Have a blast!

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MAMAWLINDALOU 1/20/2012 10:23AM

    I don't want you to be in a funk, I like seeing you on SP you motivate me with your positive attitude. You have fun at the party don't over eat. Never heard of a re-gifting party.

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HHB4181 1/19/2012 11:02AM

    a re-gifting party sounds like a wonderful idea!


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HHB4181 1/19/2012 11:02AM

    a re-gifting party sounds like a wonderful idea!


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Stressful Tuesday so far...

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I am trying to keep my head high. I am trying to relax. Deep breathing isn't enough right now. Today is just super stressful all around. The health insurance I pay per check is doubling. Still no raise after 3 years. I keep telling myself to be happy I have a job. Right now, that isn't enough to calm me down.

I am glad I don't have the impulse to eat a ton right now. If anything, I want to just throw up, go home, and curl up in bed. But then I would lose 3 hours of pay so there is no point in doing that!

Hopefully everyone else is having a great Tuesday! I just need to relax after work. It just sucks I won't have anyone there to comfort me. Maybe the puppy will snuggle with me at least.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMACLIVES 1/19/2012 10:01AM

    So sorry you're stressed emoticon

I understand the raise situation, been like that for me too. Somehow we get by. The good news is we have SPark, the support system here and each other to lean on. emoticon

Hope your Thursday feels better, you're in my thoughts and prayers. XO

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HHB4181 1/18/2012 9:24AM

    Yuck. Sorry to hear about your terrible day. Hope the puppy snuggled with you!

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INKEDPETALS45 1/17/2012 9:51PM

    Sorry to hear you are having a stressful Tuesday! emoticon Try to find the positive in the situation. I know its difficult but remember WE are all here for you to lean on!! Hope tomorrow is better.

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MWILSON432 1/17/2012 6:35PM

    I'm so sorry you are going through this...in my house, its not insurance, but absolutely everything (even my husband's car) is breaking. at. the. same. time. I'm about ready to pull my hair out. The economic situation our country is in will hopefully turn around at some point, because we are all having a hard time with money right now. *hugs* At least we have our community here for love and support. emoticon Oh and puppy snuggles make almost everything better, right?

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KIMPY225 1/17/2012 4:54PM

    Yea the cost of living really sucks now!

Aw that is cute about the puppy yawns! Thank you for telling me emoticon

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COWGIRLUPINOK 1/17/2012 2:48PM

    Look for the puppy to yawn when you are cuddling it. Did you know if a dog yawns when they are being loved on it isn't a sign of being tired....it is a sign of contentment. It is because they are relaxed and feel loved and therefore their heart beats go down....

I never knew that until recently...I am surprised at how often my doggies yawn and how good it makes me feel since I know what it means....It does my heart good.

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BBORDEN86 1/17/2012 2:43PM

    Sorry your insurance is going up... be lucky you have it at least. The cost of everything is high, and we aren't getting compensated accordingly. It's crazy what the world is coming to... the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer. The cost of livings WAY to high, and it's only getting higher.

Hopefully snuggles with the puppy will make it a little better. : 0

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49.6 pounds lost so far- so much more to go!

Monday, January 16, 2012

I am now down to 200.4 pounds.

Sometimes when I step on the scale, I still can't believe what I see. I was happy when I lost my first five pounds. I was so happy when I lost 10. The more I lose, the more I still can't believe how fast I have lost everything. I started spark in August 2011. I still remember the day I decided not to eat "bad" food anymore. I know some people say "ok starting next Monday" or "starting next week". That is great when they actually start and stick with it! For me, I couldn't do it like that. When I decided to eat healthier and lose weight, it had to be at that moment. If I put it off, I probably would still be at 250lbs wishing I was thinner. Every piece of food I turn away, every time I have water instead of something else... it makes me more proud of myself every day!

My weekend was pretty great, and I got to spend time with family, good friends and my fiance. Being in a great mood always makes it easier for me to step on the scale to see what has happened with my weight. I had this feeling I wasn't going to be 200 or below. At first I was sad, because I really want to take the pictures of myself with 50 pound items to show how much I lost so far. Then, I realized I didn't care if I was in One-derland yet. I have done so much for myself, I am amazed I can say I am halfway through my journey to a healthy BMI!

On Friday night, my fiance and I went over my parent's house to play games with them & his parents. My parents have not seen me without 5 layers on in a while (it is so cold!) They told me they were amazed at how much I have lost. I don't see it in the mirror as much as they do - but my Mom told me "Wow, you have a waist now, you look so great!" It is such a great feeling to know that everything I am doing is paying off. My Dad told me even my skin looks healthier.

We can all do it if we stick with it! If you are embarrassed to get pictures taken of you, I think you should get more taken! That is part of why I wanted to start all of this. I had pictures of me trying on wedding gowns, and I was so ashamed of myself. At two different stores, I couldn't even try on ONE dress because I was too big. I told myself I wanted to be in a smaller size so I can buy whatever clothes I want! Even small goals are worth applauding yourself for! GOOD luck to everyone! I know I still need it!

I will get more pictures up once I get below 200lbs! I just wanted to post some to try and remind myself how far I have come so far!!!

Feeling like a whale in this one dress I tried on July 2011 250lbs



My 26th Birthday July 2011 250lbs



Christmas, December 2011 207lbs



Jan 15th 2012 - 200.4lbs!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEWELEE71 1/23/2012 9:06AM

    You are doing so great. Very inspirational. I agree photos do make a huge difference in how we perceive ourselves. It is sometimes like a reality check when we look at them.

Great Job! emoticon

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MOEMOORE 1/22/2012 1:04AM

    Awesome! You're doing great!

I know what you mean about pictures! I don't have a lot of ones from recent years - I've shied away from the camera because I didn't like what I would see. But it does make comparing before and after difficult! LOL!

Keep it up! You'll be in One-derland soon!

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HHB4181 1/17/2012 12:39PM

    emoticon emoticon

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INKEDPETALS45 1/16/2012 12:51PM

    You look GREAT!! emoticon on the success!

I'd love to hear more about what you are doing to lose the weight.

Keep it up!!

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MCJULIEO 1/16/2012 12:49PM

    Wow! Wow! WOW! You are SO making progress!

Way to GO!

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MWILSON432 1/16/2012 11:57AM

    You look great, beautiful girl :-) emoticon You have come so far...what an inspiration.

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BEESMUM2003 1/16/2012 11:47AM

    you look amazing..thanks so much for sharing your motivational story. i have lost about 40 lbs too and have hit a rut....i think i need to follow your lead and just say no to junk food or bad food as you call it. my problem is that i have a cheat night on friday which turns into a cheat weekend.....ugh...why do i do this to myself. thanks for sharing!

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MISTRUNNER 1/16/2012 11:13AM

  emoticon

This is wonderful progress. I know I was 250 lbs and now weight in at 202.4 lbs. It took me 2 years to get to this point.

Your progress is amazing.

Keep up the great work.

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BAZINGABROOKE 1/16/2012 11:12AM

    Wow what a great difference! Way to go!!! Very motivational. :)

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