Friday, January 27, 2012
Happy Friday! It is almost my weekend.
Last night I watched some shows & then my fiance did an overtime shift. We need the money, but he is usually off Thursday nights so I was bummed he had to go in. At least he is off tonight and even tomorrow night cause he did a double earlier in the week. So I actually got on my computer and made some cds for my car. I have Sirius Radio, but sometimes I want to listen to specific songs. Now I have a lot to choose from!
I am trying to have a good day. I have stuff I can do here at work, but I don't feel like doing it right now. It has been an emotional roller coaster for me all week. I am happy, sad, mad, lonely, overwhelmed, glad, excited ahhhhhhhhh. I also need a new job, but no real job has contacted me back yet. booo.
I am glad I have the weekend off. Tomorrow is my fiance's Sister's 40th birthday party in the afternoon. I still didn't get her anything because I don't know what to get for her! I hate getting gift cards to places - actually I hate any present that shows how much you spent. I am not sure why, I just feel like it isn't very thoughtful. I like giving real presents - items people actually need. I know sometimes it is nice to just get your own gift, but still.
Hopefully everyone has a great weekend, or great Sat & Sun if you are working!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I am trying to make the second half of my week better! The first half really got me
My Dad isn't doing so great. He has smoked since he was 12 years old, and now he is 64. He had a heart attack two years ago and had to have a pacemaker put in. His breathing is awful, but he still smokes. He will never quit because he is a stubborn Vietnam Vet. He goes to the ER because he can't breathe - about once every two or three months. Anyways, I stopped over on Monday to pick up some of the birthday presents that were delivered to my parent's house. I stayed for dinner and had to keep myself from crying. My Dad looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. He had a lot of stubble, and kept wheezing. I felt so bad for him. I know it is his fault from all of the smoking, but I still feel really bad because he is my Dad. My Mom told me she is trying to be accepting of the fact that there is nothing she can do. This makes me feel horrible. I feel bad for her too.
So between that and other stress with some friends, the beginning of the week had me feeling pretty down. I am finally starting to get over it. The special birthday plans I have for my fiance are next week!! Every day I give him a "clue" of what we are doing.
Some of the clues so far are:
There may or may not be food.
His response: So I may starve for three days. Great!
There may or may not be balloons.
His response: Ok, so balloon animals are definitely involved.
There may or may not be people there you like.
His response: Wow I guess all of my enemies will be there, thanks Hun!
Have a great Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Happy Sunday! I can't believe I made it to One-derland!
Last night we went to a regift party. I knew I wanted to drink and have a good time. I looked up some lower calorie drink recipes & even watched my calories so I wouldn't go over too much. I know those aren't healthy decisions - but hey, I deserve a little break once in a while! The party was so much fun. When the host opened the door, she commented even before I took off my coat and sweatshirt. She said I was getting so skinny & looked great. About 30 minutes later, she asked how much weight I lost so far, and I told her almost 50 pounds. A girl I never met overheard me, and asked how I did it. I told her I use Spark! Normally I don't like to talk about the weight loss because I don't want people to think I am bragging. I am definitely not! I must admit, it did feel good to actually be asked advice. Later in the night, another friend came in and said I was starting to look so thin. I may have actually blushed. Normally I feel so out of place at any party because I feel like I am so overweight and everyone was looking at me. I am trying to tell myself it doesn't matter what I look like, but it definitely is nice to get some compliments. When we went out to lunch early in the day, I got a compliment on my glasses and eye makeup. Just that made my smile too. I tried to take a picture with my phone while I was laying down. I took my glasses off though. It reminds me of one of those Myspace or Facebook poses hahaha. I don't even think it looks like me!
I started to feel guilty for drinking, but then I realized there is always another day! I tracked it all & am actually awake at 730am!
I decided to weigh myself this morning. 3 days ago I hit 199! I like to get my weight on two different days before I officially count it - this morning I showed 198.6! I smiled and felt so good! I haven't been below 200 pounds since 2006. I still can't believe I have done so much already. I originally wanted to lose 50 lbs by October 2012 - and it is so crazy I lost it already!
I didn't get a chance to put the weight comparison pictures into the computer yet. Hopefully soon I can put them on here & actually see for myself what the difference is! I still have so much more I want to lose, but I am very proud.
I am so happy I found Spark. Thank you to everyone who has helped. Even just reading other blogs helps me out. I know we are all real people who have a somewhat similar goal. We also have some kind of common problem too! It is difficult sometimes to relate to other people sometimes when it comes to how hard it is to stay on track. Thank you again to everyone! You have all done such a great job and I hope you all stick with it!
My next goal is to hit 185 which will have me be at "overweight" on the BMI instead of obese. Hopefully my surgery wounds will be healed soon, and I can start working out more!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I am trying to keep my head high. I am trying to relax. Deep breathing isn't enough right now. Today is just super stressful all around. The health insurance I pay per check is doubling. Still no raise after 3 years. I keep telling myself to be happy I have a job. Right now, that isn't enough to calm me down.
I am glad I don't have the impulse to eat a ton right now. If anything, I want to just throw up, go home, and curl up in bed. But then I would lose 3 hours of pay so there is no point in doing that!
Hopefully everyone else is having a great Tuesday! I just need to relax after work. It just sucks I won't have anyone there to comfort me. Maybe the puppy will snuggle with me at least.
Get An Email Alert Each Time KIMPY225 Posts