KIMPY225   64,820
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Friday!!!!!!! Trying to stay positive

Friday, January 27, 2012

Happy Friday! It is almost my weekend.

Last night I watched some shows & then my fiance did an overtime shift. We need the money, but he is usually off Thursday nights so I was bummed he had to go in. At least he is off tonight and even tomorrow night cause he did a double earlier in the week. So I actually got on my computer and made some cds for my car. I have Sirius Radio, but sometimes I want to listen to specific songs. Now I have a lot to choose from!

I am trying to have a good day. I have stuff I can do here at work, but I don't feel like doing it right now. It has been an emotional roller coaster for me all week. I am happy, sad, mad, lonely, overwhelmed, glad, excited ahhhhhhhhh. I also need a new job, but no real job has contacted me back yet. booo.

I am glad I have the weekend off. Tomorrow is my fiance's Sister's 40th birthday party in the afternoon. I still didn't get her anything because I don't know what to get for her! I hate getting gift cards to places - actually I hate any present that shows how much you spent. I am not sure why, I just feel like it isn't very thoughtful. I like giving real presents - items people actually need. I know sometimes it is nice to just get your own gift, but still.

Hopefully everyone has a great weekend, or great Sat & Sun if you are working!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIVINGFREE19 1/28/2012 8:42PM

    I hope you find another job soon that you are hoping to get.
I hope you are enjoying your weekend!
I hope the party was awesome!

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Happy Wednesday (try to have one!!)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I am trying to make the second half of my week better! The first half really got me

My Dad isn't doing so great. He has smoked since he was 12 years old, and now he is 64. He had a heart attack two years ago and had to have a pacemaker put in. His breathing is awful, but he still smokes. He will never quit because he is a stubborn Vietnam Vet. He goes to the ER because he can't breathe - about once every two or three months. Anyways, I stopped over on Monday to pick up some of the birthday presents that were delivered to my parent's house. I stayed for dinner and had to keep myself from crying. My Dad looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. He had a lot of stubble, and kept wheezing. I felt so bad for him. I know it is his fault from all of the smoking, but I still feel really bad because he is my Dad. My Mom told me she is trying to be accepting of the fact that there is nothing she can do. This makes me feel horrible. I feel bad for her too.

So between that and other stress with some friends, the beginning of the week had me feeling pretty down. I am finally starting to get over it. The special birthday plans I have for my fiance are next week!! Every day I give him a "clue" of what we are doing.
Some of the clues so far are:

There may or may not be food.
His response: So I may starve for three days. Great!

There may or may not be balloons.
His response: Ok, so balloon animals are definitely involved.

There may or may not be people there you like.
His response: Wow I guess all of my enemies will be there, thanks Hun!

Have a great Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLIAN 1/26/2012 1:49PM

    Sorry about your dad parents can be so stubborn,Glad birthday plans are moving ahead hope your fiance enjoys his day HUGSxxx

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WOLFRAML20 1/25/2012 11:50PM

    yay i am excited for the party or whatever you want to call it. sorry to hear about your dad. see you soon.

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MOEMOORE 1/25/2012 9:37PM

    Sorry to hear about your dad. And it can be so hard to watch the people you love make unhealthy choices. It is hard, but you do have to accept that we are all responsible for our own choices.

I'm sure you guys will have a blast with your plans for your fiance's birthday!

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MAMAWLINDALOU 1/25/2012 11:56AM

    SorryAbout your fathers health problems it does put a lot of stress on us in situations like this one. You are a strong person. Hope the rest of your week is better. hang in there!!

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TWINNYGRAN 1/25/2012 9:44AM

    So sorry to hear of your dad's health problems! You are clearly a great support to him. You sound like fun. Hope you have a great time at your fiancÚ's birthday. emoticon

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  Sorry about your dad's sound like a good support for him. Enjoying the clues you left your fiance. Best of luck to you!

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Onederland!!! Compliments can be a girl's (and guy's) best friend

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Happy Sunday! I can't believe I made it to One-derland!

Last night we went to a regift party. I knew I wanted to drink and have a good time. I looked up some lower calorie drink recipes & even watched my calories so I wouldn't go over too much. I know those aren't healthy decisions - but hey, I deserve a little break once in a while! The party was so much fun. When the host opened the door, she commented even before I took off my coat and sweatshirt. She said I was getting so skinny & looked great. About 30 minutes later, she asked how much weight I lost so far, and I told her almost 50 pounds. A girl I never met overheard me, and asked how I did it. I told her I use Spark! Normally I don't like to talk about the weight loss because I don't want people to think I am bragging. I am definitely not! I must admit, it did feel good to actually be asked advice. Later in the night, another friend came in and said I was starting to look so thin. I may have actually blushed. Normally I feel so out of place at any party because I feel like I am so overweight and everyone was looking at me. I am trying to tell myself it doesn't matter what I look like, but it definitely is nice to get some compliments. When we went out to lunch early in the day, I got a compliment on my glasses and eye makeup. Just that made my smile too. I tried to take a picture with my phone while I was laying down. I took my glasses off though. It reminds me of one of those Myspace or Facebook poses hahaha. I don't even think it looks like me!

I started to feel guilty for drinking, but then I realized there is always another day! I tracked it all & am actually awake at 730am!

I decided to weigh myself this morning. 3 days ago I hit 199! I like to get my weight on two different days before I officially count it - this morning I showed 198.6! I smiled and felt so good! I haven't been below 200 pounds since 2006. I still can't believe I have done so much already. I originally wanted to lose 50 lbs by October 2012 - and it is so crazy I lost it already!

I didn't get a chance to put the weight comparison pictures into the computer yet. Hopefully soon I can put them on here & actually see for myself what the difference is! I still have so much more I want to lose, but I am very proud.

I am so happy I found Spark. Thank you to everyone who has helped. Even just reading other blogs helps me out. I know we are all real people who have a somewhat similar goal. We also have some kind of common problem too! It is difficult sometimes to relate to other people sometimes when it comes to how hard it is to stay on track. Thank you again to everyone! You have all done such a great job and I hope you all stick with it!

My next goal is to hit 185 which will have me be at "overweight" on the BMI instead of obese. Hopefully my surgery wounds will be healed soon, and I can start working out more!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOEMOORE 1/25/2012 9:33PM


Congrats on reaching Onederland!!

And you're right - you do need a break every once in a while! I'm glad you had a great time at your party, and when someone asks you, its by no means bragging! Its about sharing your story.

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JMACLIVES 1/23/2012 4:19PM

    YAY! That is a beautiful number, you wear it so well! Keep it up and remember there is no harm in celebrating, even having a drink now and then. This is not one of those restrictive diets filled with "don'ts" is a brand new life and obviously a brand new YOU!

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BEESMUM2003 1/22/2012 9:08PM

    WOOHOO!!! congrats on hitting onederland..l cannot wait for that day!! I am truly so happy for you!! emoticon

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    So happy for you. Compliments are sweet to hear, especially when for so long you just wanted to melt into the background and not be noticed. I know...I spent many years in that corner too. Good luck as you work towards your goal!

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QTEALADY20031 1/22/2012 5:27PM

    Congratulations! You are doing great on your weight-loss journey and accept those compliments with a great big THANK YOU! emoticon June

Comment edited on: 1/22/2012 5:28:11 PM

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HHB4181 1/22/2012 3:45PM

    Of course you deserve a break everyone one and a while!!! Glad you had fun at the party and to hear about all of your compliments!! Congrats!!

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PEPPYPATTI 1/22/2012 3:32PM

    Way to go, girl! I could just feel your excitement at the party! You are doing so great!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRGIRL78 1/22/2012 3:25PM


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Still Stressed, but keeping my smile on!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Life is still tough right now. I am trying not to let it bring me down, or I will be in a funk which will be extremely hard to get out of.

There are so many little good things going for me right now, and I am making sure I remind myself of them! My fiance's birthday events are coming up soon and that makes me so excited. I designed a banner and had it printed out to hang in the apartment. The dollar store helped me get some more birthday decorations. Too bad I have to wait to put them up! haha. Poor guy, I keep reminding him "It is almost your birthday!" I even made up a couple birthday songs about it haha. When I get really happy, I make up silly little songs.

It is almost Friday!!!! Saturday I am going to a fun re-gift party with my fiance and friend. It is usually a fun time to see all of the silly gifts people bring!

Hopefully everyone had a wonderful Thursday! Even when times are tough, just breathe and think back at all you are doing to make yourself a better person! We all deal with life everyday. Good luck to everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLIAN 1/22/2012 3:17AM

    It's years since i went to one of these parties nobody seems to have them now .HUGS xxx

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MOEMOORE 1/22/2012 1:07AM

    I think we all should have a silly song playlist. The songs that make us smile no matter what is going on! Isn't it amazing the power of music?

I know the birthday celebrations are going to be great! Have a blast!

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MAMAWLINDALOU 1/20/2012 10:23AM

    I don't want you to be in a funk, I like seeing you on SP you motivate me with your positive attitude. You have fun at the party don't over eat. Never heard of a re-gifting party.

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HHB4181 1/19/2012 11:02AM

    a re-gifting party sounds like a wonderful idea!

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HHB4181 1/19/2012 11:02AM

    a re-gifting party sounds like a wonderful idea!

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Stressful Tuesday so far...

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I am trying to keep my head high. I am trying to relax. Deep breathing isn't enough right now. Today is just super stressful all around. The health insurance I pay per check is doubling. Still no raise after 3 years. I keep telling myself to be happy I have a job. Right now, that isn't enough to calm me down.

I am glad I don't have the impulse to eat a ton right now. If anything, I want to just throw up, go home, and curl up in bed. But then I would lose 3 hours of pay so there is no point in doing that!

Hopefully everyone else is having a great Tuesday! I just need to relax after work. It just sucks I won't have anyone there to comfort me. Maybe the puppy will snuggle with me at least.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMACLIVES 1/19/2012 10:01AM

    So sorry you're stressed emoticon

I understand the raise situation, been like that for me too. Somehow we get by. The good news is we have SPark, the support system here and each other to lean on. emoticon

Hope your Thursday feels better, you're in my thoughts and prayers. XO

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HHB4181 1/18/2012 9:24AM

    Yuck. Sorry to hear about your terrible day. Hope the puppy snuggled with you!

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INKEDPETALS45 1/17/2012 9:51PM

    Sorry to hear you are having a stressful Tuesday! emoticon Try to find the positive in the situation. I know its difficult but remember WE are all here for you to lean on!! Hope tomorrow is better.

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MWILSON432 1/17/2012 6:35PM

    I'm so sorry you are going through my house, its not insurance, but absolutely everything (even my husband's car) is breaking. at. the. same. time. I'm about ready to pull my hair out. The economic situation our country is in will hopefully turn around at some point, because we are all having a hard time with money right now. *hugs* At least we have our community here for love and support. emoticon Oh and puppy snuggles make almost everything better, right?

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KIMPY225 1/17/2012 4:54PM

    Yea the cost of living really sucks now!

Aw that is cute about the puppy yawns! Thank you for telling me emoticon

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COWGIRLUPINOK 1/17/2012 2:48PM

    Look for the puppy to yawn when you are cuddling it. Did you know if a dog yawns when they are being loved on it isn't a sign of being is a sign of contentment. It is because they are relaxed and feel loved and therefore their heart beats go down....

I never knew that until recently...I am surprised at how often my doggies yawn and how good it makes me feel since I know what it means....It does my heart good.

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BBORDEN86 1/17/2012 2:43PM

    Sorry your insurance is going up... be lucky you have it at least. The cost of everything is high, and we aren't getting compensated accordingly. It's crazy what the world is coming to... the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer. The cost of livings WAY to high, and it's only getting higher.

Hopefully snuggles with the puppy will make it a little better. : 0

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