Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I am trying to keep my head high. I am trying to relax. Deep breathing isn't enough right now. Today is just super stressful all around. The health insurance I pay per check is doubling. Still no raise after 3 years. I keep telling myself to be happy I have a job. Right now, that isn't enough to calm me down.
I am glad I don't have the impulse to eat a ton right now. If anything, I want to just throw up, go home, and curl up in bed. But then I would lose 3 hours of pay so there is no point in doing that!
Hopefully everyone else is having a great Tuesday! I just need to relax after work. It just sucks I won't have anyone there to comfort me. Maybe the puppy will snuggle with me at least.
Monday, January 16, 2012
I am now down to 200.4 pounds.
Sometimes when I step on the scale, I still can't believe what I see. I was happy when I lost my first five pounds. I was so happy when I lost 10. The more I lose, the more I still can't believe how fast I have lost everything. I started spark in August 2011. I still remember the day I decided not to eat "bad" food anymore. I know some people say "ok starting next Monday" or "starting next week". That is great when they actually start and stick with it! For me, I couldn't do it like that. When I decided to eat healthier and lose weight, it had to be at that moment. If I put it off, I probably would still be at 250lbs wishing I was thinner. Every piece of food I turn away, every time I have water instead of something else... it makes me more proud of myself every day!
My weekend was pretty great, and I got to spend time with family, good friends and my fiance. Being in a great mood always makes it easier for me to step on the scale to see what has happened with my weight. I had this feeling I wasn't going to be 200 or below. At first I was sad, because I really want to take the pictures of myself with 50 pound items to show how much I lost so far. Then, I realized I didn't care if I was in One-derland yet. I have done so much for myself, I am amazed I can say I am halfway through my journey to a healthy BMI!
On Friday night, my fiance and I went over my parent's house to play games with them & his parents. My parents have not seen me without 5 layers on in a while (it is so cold!) They told me they were amazed at how much I have lost. I don't see it in the mirror as much as they do - but my Mom told me "Wow, you have a waist now, you look so great!" It is such a great feeling to know that everything I am doing is paying off. My Dad told me even my skin looks healthier.
We can all do it if we stick with it! If you are embarrassed to get pictures taken of you, I think you should get more taken! That is part of why I wanted to start all of this. I had pictures of me trying on wedding gowns, and I was so ashamed of myself. At two different stores, I couldn't even try on ONE dress because I was too big. I told myself I wanted to be in a smaller size so I can buy whatever clothes I want! Even small goals are worth applauding yourself for! GOOD luck to everyone! I know I still need it!
I will get more pictures up once I get below 200lbs! I just wanted to post some to try and remind myself how far I have come so far!!!
Feeling like a whale in this one dress I tried on July 2011 250lbs
My 26th Birthday July 2011 250lbs
Christmas, December 2011 207lbs
Jan 15th 2012 - 200.4lbs!!
Friday, January 13, 2012
I am probably going to do a weigh in tomorrow morning or Sunday to hopefully have lost the 2 pounds to be at 200! If I didn't lose it, I won't be upset though. I still can't do any crazy exercise or anything like that. My 4 incisions aren't healed yet, and I can't move around too much without getting pain. When will I be healed! I really wish my body didn't reject the sutures, because I just want to be healed up now! I have a lot of energy, and I can't really do anything with it physically! I have been wearing regular pants again, but some of them still rub on my tummy, so I have to be really careful!
I am glad it is the weekend though. Tonight my fiance and I are going to my parents house for dinner & games. His parents are coming too, so it will be a fun time with all of us! I hope they don't ruin any of his birthday surprise plans haha.
It is the 13th, but nothing too bad has happened so far haha. Hopefully it stays like a typical day for me
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