Monday, January 16, 2012
I am now down to 200.4 pounds.
Sometimes when I step on the scale, I still can't believe what I see. I was happy when I lost my first five pounds. I was so happy when I lost 10. The more I lose, the more I still can't believe how fast I have lost everything. I started spark in August 2011. I still remember the day I decided not to eat "bad" food anymore. I know some people say "ok starting next Monday" or "starting next week". That is great when they actually start and stick with it! For me, I couldn't do it like that. When I decided to eat healthier and lose weight, it had to be at that moment. If I put it off, I probably would still be at 250lbs wishing I was thinner. Every piece of food I turn away, every time I have water instead of something else... it makes me more proud of myself every day!
My weekend was pretty great, and I got to spend time with family, good friends and my fiance. Being in a great mood always makes it easier for me to step on the scale to see what has happened with my weight. I had this feeling I wasn't going to be 200 or below. At first I was sad, because I really want to take the pictures of myself with 50 pound items to show how much I lost so far. Then, I realized I didn't care if I was in One-derland yet. I have done so much for myself, I am amazed I can say I am halfway through my journey to a healthy BMI!
On Friday night, my fiance and I went over my parent's house to play games with them & his parents. My parents have not seen me without 5 layers on in a while (it is so cold!) They told me they were amazed at how much I have lost. I don't see it in the mirror as much as they do - but my Mom told me "Wow, you have a waist now, you look so great!" It is such a great feeling to know that everything I am doing is paying off. My Dad told me even my skin looks healthier.
We can all do it if we stick with it! If you are embarrassed to get pictures taken of you, I think you should get more taken! That is part of why I wanted to start all of this. I had pictures of me trying on wedding gowns, and I was so ashamed of myself. At two different stores, I couldn't even try on ONE dress because I was too big. I told myself I wanted to be in a smaller size so I can buy whatever clothes I want! Even small goals are worth applauding yourself for! GOOD luck to everyone! I know I still need it!
I will get more pictures up once I get below 200lbs! I just wanted to post some to try and remind myself how far I have come so far!!!
Feeling like a whale in this one dress I tried on July 2011 250lbs
My 26th Birthday July 2011 250lbs
Christmas, December 2011 207lbs
Jan 15th 2012 - 200.4lbs!!
Friday, January 13, 2012
I am probably going to do a weigh in tomorrow morning or Sunday to hopefully have lost the 2 pounds to be at 200! If I didn't lose it, I won't be upset though. I still can't do any crazy exercise or anything like that. My 4 incisions aren't healed yet, and I can't move around too much without getting pain. When will I be healed! I really wish my body didn't reject the sutures, because I just want to be healed up now! I have a lot of energy, and I can't really do anything with it physically! I have been wearing regular pants again, but some of them still rub on my tummy, so I have to be really careful!
I am glad it is the weekend though. Tonight my fiance and I are going to my parents house for dinner & games. His parents are coming too, so it will be a fun time with all of us! I hope they don't ruin any of his birthday surprise plans haha.
It is the 13th, but nothing too bad has happened so far haha. Hopefully it stays like a typical day for me
Monday, January 09, 2012
My current weight is 201.8. When I started in August, I was at 250lbs and I didn't think I would make it this far. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself. I have been trying to be a stronger person, but I still question my ability to stick with important things. My first goal is to lose 50 pounds before my wedding this October. I was worried I wouldn't be able to reach it. Now I am less than 2 pounds away to having 50 lbs be off of me. I am starting to get really excited because of BBORDEN86's Page. She wants to get to 199, and I am really excited for her. I am getting really excited for me too now because I am so close!
When I first started on Sparkpeople, I had the ticker show Pounds lost instead of my actual weight because I was embarrassed. I didn't think anyone on here would make fun of me, but I was upset with myself for letting my weight get so high. I keep wondering WHY and HOW I could let myself get like that. I was so focused on the other aspects of my life. Actually, I think I was more focused on making everyone else happy. I let myself go because I just didn't care. I felt fat, felt bad about myself, and just didn't do anything about it. I tried weight watchers and lost 40 pounds. I felt so happy to see 208 on the scale at that time. I felt great about myself for sticking to their points program for 6 months, but then I started slipping. I had one snack, and then ate worse and worse for no reason. I didn't want to pay $14 a week anymore for a weigh in. I hated figuring out the points for the food, and I hated the meetings at the mall. I just gave up on myself. Although I wish I didn't give up, I am kind of glad. I look back now and see how easy it is just to give in. I won't this time- at least I really hope I won't! I know how easy it is to slip... it is too easy.
I am proud of myself for doing so much since August. My goal reward for losing 50 lbs is to get my hair dyed. I decided to give myself this early because I barely ever give myself anything. I didn't give myself the 35 lb lost reward yet. I didn't give myself the 40 lb lost reward yet. AND I didn't give myself the 45 lb lost reward yet. Instead of rewarding myself, I bought other people presents and put them first. I think I will always be this way just because it is how I think. Anyways, I really wanted my hair cut to chop off the dead ends & I wanted it dyed to finally make it all one color. Although I still have two pounds to lose, I decided to go for it and get it done. I am glad I did, because I love the look! I took some pictures of myself the other night. Once I get the time to put them into my home computer, I will post some of the weight loss pictures on here.
Before: Dead ends yuck.
After: Brown & layers yay!
So what is next? I will hit 50 lbs lost and then what? I will not give up! Once I actually get under 200 lbs, my next goal is to get to 185 lbs. Then I will be considered overweight from the BMI instead of being Obese. I really hope I will be healed up soon from the stupid gallbladder removal. I am GOING to go to the gym and/or workout once I am better. From there, I want to get to 155 to be on the high end of the "healthy weight" for my height. I actually don't really know how I will feel once I lose that much weight. I don't know if I will care as much about the BMI. I know I won't give up, but I may not be as hard on myself. No matter what I do, I won't give up on MYSELF. People come and go, but I am always around.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
At work yesterday, I was on the phone with my Mom helping her troubleshoot some computer problem. About an hour after the call, I wanted to eat the last snack I brought with me. I couldn't find it anywhere on my desk. I thought maybe it fell on the floor. Well, my co-worker said he saw me eat it while I was talking to my Mom. I checked my trash can and the empty wrapper was in there! Aw man, I don't even remember eating it! I kind of do, but not really haha. I guess it is a mental thing for me that I feel more satisfied after I eat if I watch what I am doing!
On another note, it is Wednesday already! and I am definitely going to make sure I watch myself eat today so I don't get extra hungry at the end of the day! hahaha.
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