Wednesday, May 30, 2012
The past two weeks I have been struggling with the scale not moving despite tracking all my food, drinking all my water and working out in BEAST mode. Coach Krystie thinks I'm not eating enough calories and since I have been guilty of that before, and she's right.
The truth is I'm scared of eating too much so I err on the side of caution and end up eating less than I should. I have this fear of food I guess. When I was 16 I was anorexic ( Can't tell it now I know. LOL!) I would go for 3 or 4 days and eat NOTHING then I would eat some Weight Watcher meal and starve myself for 3 or 4 more days. I want to stress that I know that was the WRONG WRONG way to lose weight and I have never tried that again since I got very ill from doing it. But, I still have the tendency when losing weight to forgo food rather than look for healthy options.
I am working on this with the help of my tracker. I look to balance my macronutrients every day. I make sure I meet all of my requirements every day for carbs, fats, and proteins. However, I'm always at the low side of that range. As hard as I'm working out I need to eat more. Because of my weight training I'm going up on protein and have done well getting that number up. I don't want to ruin all the hard weight training I have done to try to gain muscle so I know I must eat more. Even though it seems counterintuitive, in the end it's absolutely true. My mind knows this, it's my heart and my fear of gaining that needs convincing. Soo.. that's my confession.
And my WOOHOO. I'm down .5 this morning. Nothing big but the scale moved. Also I fit into a size 16 dress today that was given to me. I nearly cried to be in a normal size that you could buy in a regular store. It was a big day for me.