Monday, November 25, 2013
Well, itís been a long time since Iíve blogged. I donít really have anything clear or concise to write about but wanted to check in and say hello.
Some of you may have seen last week that Iím back. It feels good. Itís been a really hard few months since I started my new job back at the end of April/early May. I feel a little like life, mainly my physical and emotional health, took a turn for the worse at that point and Iím finally getting back on track. The job is very stressful, the commute is just plain awful and the friend who hired me went on maternity leave just a month and a half after I started. I was in a terrible spot filled with all sorts of regrets and I could barely keep my head above water at work and it took a major, major toll. I was failing at work, I was failing at home, I was failing at being a mom to both girls, I was failing at being a good wife and I certainly was failing at my health. While that might not all have been true, it certainly felt like it and still does a lot of the time.
Thankfully, Iím starting to get back though. My friend/boss came back in September and while that didnít exactly ease my work situation much, it did help a lot. Iíve gotten the mess that I walked into in much better shape so the same work takes much less time to complete. And I feel like I have at least a good understanding of most aspects of my job so I donít feel quite as incompetent.
Iím still away from home much longer than Iíd like but Linnea is less dependent on me than before and now that sheís on a better schedule there is time to spend with C.
Home is just going to have to be for now. I donít have the time or energy to care enough. I just need to hire a maid I think. (Where Iíll find that money is beyond me!) We have clean clothes, just not put away. We have food in the fridge although itís not the healthy stuff I used to demand. And if I can walk on the floor without stepping on something, itís a good day.
Iím doing what I can as far as being a good wife goes but as you with spouses/soís know, itís always a work in progress. Itís too easy to put that at the bottom of the pile.
And Iím taking back my health. I recently took up the free two weeks offer at the gym at work. Iíve been hesitant for a number of reasons. Mainly, that itís a few blocks away and finding an hour+ to go will be a challenge but so far, so good. I know I canít make it an everyday thing like I used to be able to but I think I can schedule it two or three times a week so when my pass is up, Iíll officially join. Also, Iíve started back at my Zumba class one night a week. Itís tough to not see Linnea much on those days but it feels so good to be back at class.
Iím just taking it one step at a time to not overwhelm myself into feeling like I have for so much of the past 6+ months Ė like Iím just disappointing one person after another. For now, Iím focusing on working out again. Iíve thought about setting a weekly goal for myself but honestly I canít take not meeting a goal. Iím just trying to get it in when I can as often as I can. Iíll focus on water as well since Iíll need it more with the workouts. Then, when I can do it without disappointing myself I will start to focus more on food.
In unrelated news, Linnea turned one on 11/8! She's fantastic and I just can't say enough about her. She's a full time walker now. Her third tooth just made it's appearance over the weekend. She loves to play hide and seek with me and have me chase her around. She recently started blowing kisses which is just adorable. She also recently figured out how to throw tantrums . . . not so adorable. We made it, unbelievably, a whole year breastfeeding. I pumped through about 10 months and had enough stored up to make it past her birthday on breast milk. This was a pretty huge accomplishment for me and Iím so happy it worked out for us.
C is a pretty typical 14 yo. She started high school this year with has been pretty tough. Sheís one of the youngest in her class and is having to deal with issues that are tough for somebody so young. Academically though she seems to be fine. She made the high school volleyball team but didnít really like it much. I donít think sheíll play high school again next year. But that is over now and JO is starting up. Paul is a co-coach for her JO team this year so that will keep the two of them pretty busy through April.
On a sadder note, we lost our cat on Labor Day. He was hit by a car we think and there was not much we could have done for him. And we had to rehome one of our dogs in October. Aurora was starting some very bad fights with our other dog and it got to be too dangerous to have her with us. I know without a doubt she would never have hurt any of us deliberately, but we could not chance her starting a fight with just C home or with Linnea on the floor or something like that. She is with a friend of my husbands though. We were very lucky that we found somebody to take her. I really hated the thought that we'd have to bring her to the humane society who might've determined she was too dangerous to adopt out.
So, thatís what Iíve been up to? How about you all? Any exciting news to share? Any major milestones, accomplishments?
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Well, despite my complete and total lack of training, I ran my first post baby 5k! It was The Color Run. My younger sister was really pressuring me to do it with her because it was her first 5k. Being from a family of runners this is a big deal! She was pretty excited about it but I was dreading it.
The race was set up at the state fair grounds and there was a TON of people. Thankfully for me, this was not the type of race where you are shooting for your best race time ever. After every kilometer of the race they spray you with this colored powder which made it go a lot quicker. I always pace against miles but it was nice to keep telling myself 20% done after every color. I don't know how but I ran the first 14 or 15 minutes straight through. The furthest I've run straight since having Punkers is 5 minutes so this was pushing it for me. From then on I had to take walk breaks every 3-5 minutes. I felt terrible because my sister had really trained hard. She's been running for months. But, as much as I apologized, she assured me that it was ok and she was just glad somebody was running with her. (Her two sister in laws were there too but ran ahead of us.) I don't know how I managed but we finished in 37:48!!! The race wasn't actually timed but I had my Polar on so we'd know for sure. I was pretty dang proud!! No training and I got under 40 minutes! I fully did NOT expect that! I know she could have finished with a much better time but I appreciated that she stuck by me. We ended up having a lot of fun and I think she may have gotten race fever! I promised at the next one I'd get a better time!
Her husband met us at the finish line and snapped the pic below. It's me, my sister, then her two sister in laws.
I'm already feeling it now though. My muscles feel 100% fatigued!! Between my spin class yesterday and this today, I'm in rough shape but at the same time I'm feeling pretty good!
Monday, July 08, 2013
Hi everyone! In honor of Linnea turning 8 months old today, I finally have the cord to hook my phone up which means I can post some updated baby pics!!
All tuckered out from her first camping trip.
She survived her first night sleeping in a tent. (Ignore the boogery nose. She has a bit of a cold.)
Sorry, I can't figure out how to turn this one. She thinks she's pretty big time now that she can pull herself up to stand!
Avocados are NOT her friend!
She loves Stinky.
Other than that, I have no real news to post. 8 months post pregnancy and I still have about 10-12 lbs to lose but it still looks like it's 20. Amazing how important body composition is!!
Iím still trying to walk from to work from the furthest bus stop. I mapped it and itís a half mile so Iím getting in about 2.5 miles extra a week doing this.
I also took my first workout classes! It was really fun to get back to it. Iím pretty bummed that the Zumba class I thought was offered every Saturday is at best offered every other Saturday. Instead I signed up for a boat load of spin classes. It had been a long time since Iíd done spin classes and I remembered it being hard and I remembered right! It was pretty tough in all the right ways! Iím excited to go back on Saturday!!
And, Iím supposed to be doing a 5k with my younger sister on Sunday but Iím really, really, really unprepared for it. As fun as I think it would be, I think the right thing to do is have my older sister do it with her. I wish I could say running is happening but itís just not. Linnea doesnít like going for runs with me so it just doesnít happen. Iíve been out a few times without her but itís pretty hard with our schedules and not being able to run over lunch anymore. Weíre going to be doing some ďsleep trainingĒ with her this weekend so hopefully I will be able to start working out after I put her to bed starting next week. (That doesnít sound like it should relate to my working out at night. Without getting into specifics, Iíll just assure you that it does.)
No news on the diet front. Iím still nursing so Iím not really dieting in any form. I should be watching what I eat but Iím not really. No excuses or anything. Iím just simply eating what I want. (Healthy huh???) Itís pretty atrocious.
Anyhow, Iíll end with a pic of both the girls we had done for family picture day. Arenít they cute?
Thursday, June 13, 2013
I wanted to just catch you all up (and check in on some of you too) with what Iíve been up to.
So far, my plans to get in extra steps as been mostly successful. Aside from a few days where itís been rainy, Iíve gotten off at the first stop daily and walked to work. Itís about a 10 minute brisk walk and Iím usually sweaty when I get to my desk. Part of that is that itís been a little warmer and Iím not exactly in workout gear. But Iím also really walking quickly!
My other plan, to do ST at night, has not been so successful. I just fall asleep. Iím tired. I have to make it a priority though. I donít really have another time to do it. As it is, I wake up extra early to get to work on time. And Iím only home for an hour and a half before Linnea goes to bed. I just have to do it.
In other news, last Saturday I went to my first Zumba class since I went back to work on 1/29. I didnít realize it had been THAT long until I just wrote the date. Wow. It was really fun but I could not move until Wednesday! My feet felt all cramped up every time I so much as spread my toes apart! It was terrible. My neck, back, legs, feet. . . well, basically everything hurt. But it felt so great! Iím excited to go again. Unfortunately the new place Iím going that offers it on the weekends, only does it every other Saturday. So I think Iíll do a spinning class this Saturday. Weíll see how I feel after that!! I bet not good!
Also, my younger sister called me this morning. Sheís doing her first 5k ever on 7/14 and I kind of forgot that I said Iíd do it with her. I tried to register but itís full. ďLuckyĒ for me, her friend just had surgery and might be backing out so I could take her spot. So, I may be doing a 5k soon! Iíd better get my butt running! Since I accepted this job, I stopped doing C25K. Iím going to have to create an accelerated version if I think Iím going to run that whole thing!
Otherwise, Iím for sure going to run on 8/24. This is the one that my whole family does. My dad, cousins, uncle, family friends, brother in law, etc. A lot of them do the longer, 12.2 mile, race, but a bunch of us are doing the 5k, including C and two of her friends!! And my little sister is doing that one too.
Anyhow, how are you all? I apologize for being a bad Spark friend. Iím scrambling to keep my head above water these days in most ways and this just gets pushed to the back burner. I hope all is well with you all!!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Hi all! Itís been a LONG time since Iíve written. To be honest, Iíve not really even thought much about Spark recently.
Let me back up though and explain why. Last I checked in, I was doing the C25K and loving it. THEN, I accepted a new job. (I know. Crazy right? Who takes a new job when they have a 5 month old??? This lady.) Anyhow, I put in a three week notice and I had a BIG project that I was working on that I had to finish up. I wouldnít have felt right leaving it for them to figure out. So, no more lunch time workouts for this gal.
I finished up the project just in the nick of time and my last day was my 31st birthday, April 26th. I started fresh at the new job the following Monday. There is NOT a gym facility on site which is a bummer. Also, I work in a cube now, not an office. Not a problem except now I have to spend my lunch break pumping instead of being able to do it at my desk while I keep on working. Itís really put a damper on my workouts. To be honest, I havenít had a workout since I put in my notice. Iím starting to get my bearings though with my new schedule so Iím working on doing a couple of things.
1) I am trying to get off at the first or second bus stop and walking the extra way to work. It doesnít add a lot of extra steps but instead of walking 2 blocks itís 4 or 6 blocks. Better than nothing right? And Iíll walk down to the first bus stop in the afternoons if I have time. It will only add 2 blocks but again, better than nothing.
2) I am going to try to start getting in at least a 10 minute walk over lunch. Iím still nursing Linnea so I have to go pump over lunch which takes up a good chunk of my break but I think I can squeeze in 10 minutes. I could bring my laptop up with me to work while I pump which would free up some lunch time but I just havenít found that to be very practical.
3) And last night, after Punkers went to bed, I did a little bit of yoga. I think I can start doing a ST routine when she falls asleep. Most of my ST routines were without weights so unless I fall asleep with her, or sheís a bear to put down, I donít see why I canít start that up at least a few nights a week.
4) And our weekends have been pretty full, but Iím hoping I can get in a habit of doing long walks with Linnea for her morning naps in the morning. She sleeps pretty well on walks so Iím hopeful that when the weather clears up, I can make a go of it.
Unfortunately we arenít having great weather here in MN so Iím not getting out with her or the dogs on walks after work like I had hoped I would be by now. Iím not home very long before she goes to bed anyhow so itís not like I have a ton of time to do that with her but even a short 20 minute walk would be nice to get us all out of the house. Weíre supposed to have thunderstorms on and off through tomorrow night though. Maybe Friday.
I have to do something about my current weight and measurements. I went shopping on Sunday and it was terrible. Nothing fits right and I just donít feel good about how I look. My sister took a pic of us with my dad and posted it on FB and I almost cried by how big I looked. Whatís bad though is Iím only about 10lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. Itís just such a different make up that I look so much bigger than that. I was MUCH more muscle than I am now. All that muscle weighed more than all the fat Iím carrying around now so even though itís only 10lbs it looks more like 20-25lbs.
Oh well, we all have to start (or start over) someplace so this is it for me. Iím hoping that getting back to the 10 minutes a day rule will be my jumping off point.
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