KIMBERLYJ34   22,287
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Summer of change

Sunday, August 09, 2009

I have had a summer of change to say the least..

My husband and I filed for divorce (I know I'm a cliché now)
I've hit my goal weight
I've had to put my darling boy Balto to sleep due to dementia

Everything will be okay and me and my soon-to-be ex are remaining friendly and trying to stay civil (so far so good) but it's so strange.

I've hit my goal weight right before we filed but then dipped way below and lost muscle due to stress and not eating. I'm back to my goal now and my muscle is coming back as well.

Putting Balto to sleep was AWFUL!!!! He would have been 13 in December and physically he was okay (aches and pains but pretty good) but over the last few months he was not himself-dog owners will know what I mean-he was vacant. He was always slower than his sister, Jacinda, but I could tell that sometimes he was confused and wasn't sure what was going on. This got progressively worse and he started getting anxiety and scared of everyday things like going outside (as a Husky, this was not normal). But the deal breaker was that he started urinating where ever he was and not realizing it. He'd even lay right in it-again, dog owners will know this isn't normal. I (and the vet) believed that he had no clue he was doing it. After talking with my estrange husband and vet, we all decided it was time....GOD, it was sad. My kids blamed me (they don't now but I was the scape goat-always am and always will be) and I actually almost walked out of the Vet's office with him on the dreadful day. I still have my cat, Quasie and Balto's sister Jacinda (who is heartbroken) but Jacinda's day is coming. She is on massive pain killers for her hind leg and is in lots of pain but ironically her mind is as sharp as ever. I've decided that I won't be getting anymore dogs for awhile...too painful because they live such a short time. I usually love summer but this one has had it's moments. The weather hasn't been warm like usual either but am hoping the winter won't be as bad as the last one!

I'm trying very hard to stay focused on my health and well being and am doing pretty well. I have good days and bad days but so far the bad days are fewer and farther between.....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLITTING 8/11/2009 1:18PM

    So sorry about your dog - that would be heart-breaking ...and then to have people blaming you ....! no fun.

Congratulations on doing so well with your weight in spite of it all.

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MS-CEE 8/10/2009 8:32AM

    Bless your heart, girl. It is also cliche to say "it'll get better." I send you love and prayers. I hope nothing but the best for you, sweetie.


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FLGIRL_4EVER 8/10/2009 12:05AM

    You have had a rough summer. You will get through this, I also have had to put my best friend, Kelli down after she was with me for 10 years from renal failure and it also happened right after my divorce. I promise you will come out stronger. Keep the faith. Have a good week.

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TEXASTITCHER 8/9/2009 11:37PM

    I'm sorry that your summer had so many ups and downs and am glad that you are continuing. You brighten the tower.

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I'm insane

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I successfully finished my first semester back to college (after 20 years) with a 4.0. However I only took two regular term in-class classes. Even so, I thought I'd lost my mind! My family life was non existent and my social life...well that was the same because I haven't had a social life since the late 80s! So what do I do? I decided to take 4 classes in the fall (two regular term and two excellerated). I've learned that I'm apparently setting myself up for mediocracy (sp?) or at least a divorce since my husband felt ignored when I took two classes. My problem is that I'm 40!! and if I only take two classes a semester, I'll be close to old(er) age when I finish!!! So I decided to take the bull by the horns and try to go for it. I may fall on my face or I may be successful. Who knows?

Whatever the answer (or question), wish me luck because I'm soooooo going to need it:)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLY0NTHEWAL1 5/27/2009 11:09PM

    Wow! Good job going back to school!

Try not to overwork yourself. I took 5 classes this semester and I almost didn't make it!

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CECILE89 5/27/2009 10:44PM

    Just remember Kimberly to be kind to yourself in the process!! One thing you can never get back is TIME! Best of luck!!

Cecile emoticon

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VENTING...A week in H3LL or Wisconsin-same difference!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Monday: started back to work. Didn't get as much done as I wanted. It was very cold!!
I got home and my female Husky, Jacinda, was unable to stand up. I sat in the kitchen with her and she laid her head in my lap and cried (I soon followed and cried most of the night). I called the vet and I could get her in the next day or in two obviously I picked Tuesday. I was terrified I'd have to put her down.

Tuesday: with wind chills it was -20, I went to work in the morning. During my lunch hour, I went to my first class (starting college again). I was the oldest person in the class and the instructor said to find a group to do a project with by Thursday. I asked a few people and was politely denied. I went back to work for an hour and met my husband and Jacinda at the vet. The vet was running late and we didn't get in to see her until 4:10 (I had to leave by 4:30 to make it to my second class). Good news, she could get pain meds because her liver levels were under 3xs normal. I was so happy and ended up 10 minutes late for my night class...again the oldest person and felt totally out of the loop and in way over my head.

Wednesday: wind chills were in the -20 to -30 and I had to go tanning to aid in my Seasonal Affective Disorder. I did achieve some work so it was ok.

Thursday: Wind chills reached -45 (unbelievable!!) and I had my day class again. I was a half hour early this time and still didn't find a group. I emailed a student and practically begged to be in hers (humility is a virtue, right?).

Friday: it started cold but ended up in the teens (heat wave) and I was really kicking in my data entry that has to be done before Monday (when school starts where I work). Then about 10:30, i get a call from my daughter that she cut her head opened...and what should she do. This is the child of mine who when she sprained her ankle at a BB game, tried to get up and continue to play..she was out of commission for 6 weeks. Needless to say, she's not one to complain so I knew it was serious if she was calling me for help. i work a half hour away from her, but i couldn't get a hold of my husband so i left work, drove to her and cleaned, iced, and dressed her wound. She didn't want to go to the doctor and it probably would have only had one staple or stitch so I left her in the good hands of her friends (about 45 minutes for all of this) and drove the half hour back to work. I worked for two hours with tons of interruptions and then drove the half hour back to home to have company waiting for me! UGH!

At least I wasn't bored.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SANLONDON 5/20/2009 6:21AM

    Good to hear your dog is doing better. Maaaan, that is cold! It's warmer here in London, England! Hope the weather starts improving soon!


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MRSGIXXER 4/11/2009 10:37AM

    I agree with you when it comes to your title for your blog by my daughter said if Wisconsin was h3ll it would be blazing!!

January is bad enough with the cold but you had quite a week. Now we can look forward to some lovely spring weather in maybe June. emoticon

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MRSGIXXER 4/11/2009 10:37AM

    I agree with you when it comes to your title for your blog by my daughter said if Wisconsin was h3ll it would be blazing!!

January is bad enough with the cold but you had quite a week. Now we can look forward to some lovely spring weather in maybe June. emoticon

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ZUZUMARIE 2/4/2009 9:58PM

    I hear you. I live in Michigan's UP and it's so dang cold. Usually I'm ok during the winter but this one has been really tough. Hang in there, it's February, someday it will start warming up!!

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DAWNO64 1/20/2009 9:48AM

    Oooh, Kim, rough week!! Between the weather, the dog, and the kid, they conspired against you, didn't they? Glad things worked out well after all.

As for your classes, HANG IN THERE!! You can do this. The "kids" will soon figure out that you're still a person - I can remember forming some great friendships with the older students when I was in school. It's just going to take some time for everyone to reach their comfort levels.

On the plus side, hey, we're at two digit weather in Wisconsin, with no "-" in front of it!!! HEAT WAVE!!

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MS-CEE 1/18/2009 5:51PM

    Oh, the ongoing saga of the life of a Non-Traditional (Mama) Student! I feel ya, Kim. It'll get better.

I'm gladd Jacinda is better! If anything happens to my Kovu, I would just lose it! emoticon

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Belly pouch is finally shrinking!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

I've had a belly pouch since I turned 30 (almost 10 years ago) and it got it biggest this last winter (I always thought how handy it would be if I could just install a zipper and have my own built in fanny pack)..I exercised, ate correctly and lost weight but my pouch didn't seem to ever get smaller...I accepted it and moved on (ok...I cried a lot and decided not to obsess over it).

Lately, I haven't lost any weight but noticed my pouch shrinking...I could have fit a picnic lunch in it before along with a change of clothes and 3 rolls of quarters but now?...Now Maybe only two rolls of quarters and piece of gum. It keeps me motivated to finally see that maybe someday I'll only have room for one roll of quarters! It takes a long time and like i said, I haven't lost pounds on the scale but that thing Spark always says about measuring success in other ways ....I get it (finally).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNO64 12/7/2008 6:43PM

    Don't you just love those wonderful things us women get to deal with? I'm still working on my pouch; now it seems to fit a somewhat smaller kangaroo, but it's still there. Congrats on shrinking yours; I bet you feel much lighter even though the scale isn't saying that. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat, so you can easily build muscle and slim down even though the scale isn't moving.

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KIMCATUS 12/7/2008 11:02AM

    Woo hoo!! That is awesome...that's gotta be a great feeling! Keep up the great work!

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PEPCEA 12/6/2008 6:18PM

    LOL! i ust love your post and I can so relate! I didn't think mine would ever shrink either but it finaally is and I'm so very glad. I'm happy for you too and I know how you feel! Congratulations and thanks for sharing!

Alex emoticon

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PURPLE0906 12/6/2008 5:45PM

    I know what you mean. Having IBS and Colitis it seems my stomach is always swollen as if i was with child, hate that. Some days are worse than others, but I am finally starting to see my weight go down. I have been trying to go on the treadmill in the mornings since Oct. and I finally am seeing some results. Don't give up, we will get there!



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My hurdles

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I never thought I was an emotional eater but this week, I found out I am...I say "f-it" when there is drama and eat off my plan...or have an extra glass of wine.

I've been feeling satisfied with my body lately and for normal people that would be a good thing, but for me it's the first step to weight gain. Growing up, I had a very fast metabolism so I'd eat anything and was still very thin..I didn't ever exercise (I know, I hate that me too) so I have to fight to keep my new life style (eating healthy and exercise) and not regress to my youthful way of life. With that in mind, I have been concentrating on my successes but remembering that there isn't a stopping end's continual and that's weird for me.

I haven't been able to make myself track calories or track exercise but I have been exercising and my eating habits are ok...but I KNOW, I do better when I's wrestling my kids and husband away from the computer for me to do it that's hard (although it may count as aerobics). I plan to buy myself a laptop for my mid-life crisis so that will make it easier. I also am going to start a notebook log so I have no excuse..

So I can see some of my hurdles...the next step is to make sure I actually make it over them! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MS-CEE 11/15/2008 2:01PM

    I do understand. Complacency is my hurdle, for if I do not watch careful what I eat and not exercise a certain amount, it shows in my stomach and my triceps.

Do you wonder if "accepting yourself" is another way of saying "cop out"??

You can do this, Kim. Let's both get back on track, shall we?? emoticon

Cee emoticon

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