KIBBLE55   5,665
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5,500-6,999 SparkPoints
 
 
KIBBLE55's Recent Blog Entries

1 Year on - not a good story

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

12 months ago I completed a 155 charity walk after losing 70 lbs in weight since then have I gone on and achieved my goal????????

Sorry only 30lbs away from it and I caved and guess what I am now 80lbs away from it.

I obviously have some very serious issues with food - but for the love of anything I don't know why.

1. I am very happy - great wife great kids great job
2. I am sports mad played it all my life - rugby tennis squash badmington swimming all to a good standard

But since I turned 40 (8 years ago) I have collapsed into a huge fat lardy still incredibly active - SO WHY do I eat so much and so much rubbish.

Am I getting a food high

Do I need professional help

Anyway I'm back on Spark again to Try again - I will succeed - I hope.

Have a great day be healthy and happy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYFROMTHEWOOD 9/3/2014 11:40AM

    It is success to try again. Failure only comes when you quit.

So, you have a flat tire on the road to success? Don't slash the other 3 to spite the one. Fix the flat.

The question that only you can answer is "why?" you let yourself move backwards? Is it because junk food is convenient and you don't have time to make the healthy stuff? Is it because the rest of the family rebels against food changes so that you have to eat celery while smelling pizza? Since you used some negative language against yourself, I would ask if you think you don't really deserve to be healthy? Do you look at yourself as a failure for not becoming a rugby star as opposed to a good husband and father? Is there some other area of your life/heart/head you need to deal with first before you can concentrate on your health? Like, is your messy garage stealing your peace or maybe old family issues keep bringing up insecure feelings that you avoid by grilling a steak and tossing back a cold beer?

I'm so very glad to see you back on SP and blogging. It is truly a step in the right direction to get your fears and thoughts out in the open. I sincerely wish you the best on your journey to being happy and healthy.

Comment edited on: 9/3/2014 11:43:56 AM

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ROCKMAN6797 9/2/2014 8:01AM

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QUIET_RAYNE 9/2/2014 5:07AM

    You will make it. You where so close, and can do this. Don't feel bad, this is my 100th time starting again, but just turning 55, I really want to be here longer and hopefully someday have grandchildren. But I need to get healthy and with the support of my friends and loved ones, I know I can do this. Have a great day!! Be safe,

Geo emoticon

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2013 - A game of two halves - I won but only just

Thursday, January 30, 2014

In 2013 I lost 70 Lbs by July by December 31st 2013 I had only lost 35 lbs.

At first I was devastated and hated myself for once again failing. It took me 10 days to kick my own backside and brave enough to congratulate myself for losing the 35lbs.

I have tried to work out why and yes I was stressed with work and suffering as always with the dark nights (SAD) but I can not understand why I would let myself be so stupid.

I worked so hard to loose the weight and I got really fit again - WHAT was I doing WHAT is it in me that makes me do this WHY WHY WHY!

The answer is I don't know at least this time I caught myself before I put all the weight back on and then some.

I am back on track and enjoying the training - but I wish this website was allowed to send me abusive emails when I don't go on it for a week.

Good luck to everybody in 2014

Kibs

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKMAN6797 2/1/2014 4:21PM

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MOTHEPRO 1/30/2014 3:41PM

    emoticon Wow! You've done incredible!

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CHELERY1 1/30/2014 1:44PM

    Oh my gosh! Don't ever say "only". 35 lbs is magnificent and add that to the 70 before it... 105 lbs is extraordinary. You had a fantastic 2013. Congratulations!!!

Good luck in 2014 too!

Comment edited on: 1/30/2014 1:45:27 PM

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SPARKCHANTAL 1/30/2014 12:38PM

    hi kibbs! where have you been?

and for the life of me, i don't see where you failed...?

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On the cusp

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

On the cusp

Well I finished my big walk 3 weeks ago – and to be honest I am very proud of myself – I know you shouldn’t be that was huge for me. About 8 days ago I fund myself tucking in to a bread and potato crisp and ketchup sarnie at 11 o’clock at night.

I suddenly realised that I had done this for 3 nights running – I realised that I was thinking at about 8 at night what I could have later tonight to eat. This has always been my demon and I couldn’t believe that that the little git had reared back into my life.

I spat the sarnie in the bin and kicked my own ass until my nose bleed. I didn’t sleep that night I was so angry with myself, I couldn’t believe after all the hard work that I could so easily slip back into bad habits.

It was interesting that all I had done on spark was spin the wheel – we all love those points – I hadn’t kept my food diary up to date.

So it is very plain to me I can not be trusted I will always need help to keep focused. My struggle will be life long but I will win – 78lbs done and I feel great.

Have a great day

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYFROMTHEWOOD 6/29/2013 4:57AM

    You realized what you were doing. You spit out the sandwich and threw the rest away. YOU DID THIS. Would the old you have done so, or made excuses for eating the rest? See? All is not lost.
What you may need is "the next goal." Another walk? Maybe one for yourself this time? A new activity to conquer? Rock-climbing? Swimming? Lifting weights?
Yes, track that food. That is a goal itself. Track it, I say!
You can do this. You will reach your goal.
~Teresa

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JOYINKY 6/26/2013 9:31AM

    emoticon Vigilance is our friend and mindless eating our enemy! Lurking, waiting for that "tired" moment when resolve is weak. Even after all these years, I still count calories in my own shorthanded way, I must. I enjoy eating in the evening, so I plan for it. It's still about healthy choices. But, healthy or not; I'm committed to counting it and that keeps me on track. Life is good. emoticon

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KIBBLE55 6/26/2013 8:00AM

    Chantal - the motivation and will power is already with you thats why you use this site. If you are struggling take a look at what you are doing write down your anger at yourself give yourself a good talking too - Have a mantra - mine is "I WILL BE 15 STONE" every time im tempted or lazy I say it sometimes out loud and very loud much to the amusement of strangers and despair from my family.

Keep fighting trust me if I can do it anybody can.

Take care

Kibs

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SPARKCHANTAL 6/26/2013 5:44AM

    please pass the motivation and willpower

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Birthday Lbs banished

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I am lucky enough to share my Birthday with my daughter. So last Friday was the 18th celebration of when I delivered her in a panic in our bathroom before the ambulance arrived.

Now my best friend makes his living by providing fine dinning experiences in your home - he did this for me and my daughter. Ohhh my wow the food was outrageous and yes i massively overdulged.

On the Saturday we had a chinese meal and then on sunday we had all teh family round for a 5 course meal. Ohh my wow the food was fantastic and yes I massively overdulged.

Monday morning - Scales - Ohhh oh I had massively overindulged +3lbs

But instead of beating myself up (my usual way) i said right IDIOT hit the gym hard reduce the calories in to the low end and get back to were we where.

4 hours of gym work - minimum calories in target achieved back to last Thursday weight. Ok Time to get normal and keep losing steady.

This is the first time I have fallen completely off the rails on this current journey I am very proud at how I reacted to it - I actally am starting to believe that I can do this and keep on doing it.

Have an enjoyable day.

Kibs

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKCHANTAL 5/28/2013 4:47PM

    i'd say "right you handsome young thing who is full of life and enjoyment, now you had your fun so it's time to hit the gym...." and allow yourself some time to get back to 'normal'!

crazy story about you and your daughter!
brings you together, n'est-ce pas?

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JOYINKY 5/15/2013 9:54PM

    Happy Birthday! You ARE doing it! emoticon emoticon

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NKING1982 5/15/2013 10:15AM

    You can do it, keep pushing!

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LADYFROMTHEWOOD 5/15/2013 9:53AM

    Learning how to fall, then get back up with fewer and fewer bruises makes all the difference. You're right, you CAN do this! You are learning!

Again, happy birthday. What a story of your daughter's birth!!! I hope you've written down somewhere all the events and emotions of that day for prosperity!

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Weekend control

Friday, April 26, 2013

Another great week with a weigh in 2lbs lighter YEAH!

However for the last three weeks I have reweighed myself on Monday and even after a very physically intensive weekend my weight has either gone up or at best stayed the same. (Gone up)

So being slow to reasoning as always I have a weekend problem.

Whats causing it.

1. Becasue I am exercising more (20 mile walks on Saturday) I self justify eating alot more because I need it. This may be true BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I AM EATING.

2. In the week I religiously record what i eat in a hand written Journal (i find it better than usingteh tracker) At the weekends I've stopped recording what i eat and just write in what I have done.

3. During the week I eat NO bread - I do allow myself bread at the weekend - this would be fine in MODERATION but last week end I counted that i had 14 slices of bread.

4. Snacking - My wonderful wife will shout to me in teh Graden Fancy a Cuppa - to which I always reply of course is teh Pope a catholic or some other pathetic quip - Now in the week I drink a lot of coffee - I know i shouldn't but hey one thing at a time - I need it - I would never have anything with it but at home at the weekends coffee without a cake or something wouldn't be right.

So the action plan - Bythe way who is sick of action plans - my industry is run by people writting action plans and taking no action. Sorry off message there LOL

1. Record everything i eat at the end of the day - NO EXCUSES.

2. Maximum bread allowance is 6 slices

3. DONT SNACK - no cake (well maybe one small one without any butter cream)

Have a great weekend everybody - I cant believe I am looking forward to a 20 - 25 mile walk tomorrow - I am so excited

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYINKY 4/26/2013 9:36AM

    You are doing great! Only suggestion I would make for now is to write down what you eat BEFORE you eat it! That helps ward off MINDLESS eating; my enemy! I agree with LADY, forbidding something gives it too much space in my head. I try to find ways not to OVERindulge. For some things it means enjoying them away from home. Keep up the good choices!

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LADYFROMTHEWOOD 4/26/2013 7:50AM

    Congratulations! You have really been doing awesome. Don't forget that the muscle you are building also weighs more than the fat, so slow-downs in weight loss can actually be a good sign.
Sounds like you've really gotten the exercise bit pinned down! The eating/tracking part you struggle with. I'm the opposite. But since I have the eating part under control, I hope a tiny bit of advice will help...
Knowing you are trying to deny yourself something will only make you want it more. Perhaps try concentrating on getting your calories in range, in which you are willing to give up coffee and cake one day for having the bread or vice versa? (Just an example, that.) For instance, I know there are cookies in the house, and the family has divided them up so everyone gets their fair share. I know I'm not going to have to worry about losing my chance to eat cookies. That helps. Then, I only have cookies when they fit into my range for the day. That means eating a lighter breakfast and lunch today. It really does work mostly b/c I know I'm not denying myself or that I will lose my chance to have those carbs (which I struggle with also.)
I hope that will help a little. You just have to keep plugging at it until you find what works for you! You're doing AWESOME!
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GHOSTFLAMES 4/26/2013 4:52AM

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