Wednesday, June 26, 2013
On the cusp
Well I finished my big walk 3 weeks ago – and to be honest I am very proud of myself – I know you shouldn’t be that was huge for me. About 8 days ago I fund myself tucking in to a bread and potato crisp and ketchup sarnie at 11 o’clock at night.
I suddenly realised that I had done this for 3 nights running – I realised that I was thinking at about 8 at night what I could have later tonight to eat. This has always been my demon and I couldn’t believe that that the little git had reared back into my life.
I spat the sarnie in the bin and kicked my own ass until my nose bleed. I didn’t sleep that night I was so angry with myself, I couldn’t believe after all the hard work that I could so easily slip back into bad habits.
It was interesting that all I had done on spark was spin the wheel – we all love those points – I hadn’t kept my food diary up to date.
So it is very plain to me I can not be trusted I will always need help to keep focused. My struggle will be life long but I will win – 78lbs done and I feel great.
Have a great day