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Powerless

Wednesday, April 02, 2014



Though my days of drinking are over as of January 2, 2014, the "road to recovery" is not an easy one but nobody said it was going to be. On 1/3 I joined a Christ centered 12 step program called Celebrate Recovery, btw, CR is awesome!

Principle 1 of CR is:
Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.

"Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." (Matthew 5:3)

I am very angry today and it really has little to do with my addiction to drinking or drugs, I'm just angry. So as I sit here at my computer and try to make sense of it, I began to think about how "they" tell us and I tell others that CR is not just for chemical dependency ... I can't help but apply this principle to my horrible eating habits as well.

Addiction is a sickness regardless of what I am addicted to and quite honestly I feel like I can easily add junk and fast food to that list of addictions.

CR teaches us to willingly submit to ALL the changes God wants to make in our lives. Why can't I just let go?

  


Searching for "happily ever after"...

Friday, March 14, 2014



Do you remember what your answer to the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" was when people would ask when you were a child? Honestly I do not think mine ever changed. From a very early age my passion was photography. My older sister bought me a little black and white Polaroid camera. I remember it well. I also had a little instamatic that took 110 film, the negatives were strips and frames were not as big as a postage stamp. Now, much later in life I realize how poor the quality must have been from both cameras but to me they were total works of art.

Moving on ... "happily ever after..." They read us those stories growing up, the princess gets her prince or night in shining armor and they live "happily ever after" ... the end. That is rarely real life right? After two marriages both of which I probably caused the demise in, I have serious issues with the whole "happily ever after" deal even as a theory.

Yet, now, I feel like I am on a new path, I am still searching for "happily ever after", but, it does not start or end with somebody creating it for me! Oh I am totally a people person and I'm not saying I'll never ever love a man again either. I just know for sure now, that happiness has to come from within ones self.

The picture above, is the very first picture I took with my new Nikon D90 back in May of last year. This camera was also a gift, from a treasured friend. I am now studying art at a university in Alabama. My "concentration" is photography. I see a beautiful glowing light at the end of the tunnel, it is indeed my "happily ever after". God is going to allow me to do what I always wanted to do when I grew up, take pictures for a living.

Wow what a ride life has been... and continues to be... and now I'm lovin' every minute of it!
I am careful to give my God all the praise and all the glory for all the happy I feel these days!

The End ... for now. Hahahaha

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

0309COOKIE 3/14/2014 7:33PM

    Good for you! Glad you are doing what you love!

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Just thinking...01/11/14

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Saturday morning, I didn't do too bad, got up at 7:30 AM. Course had to do my internet farming. LOL I play too farm games on the net. Goodgame Studios: Big Farm and Facebook: Farmville 2. I really enjoy them both. I have been dealing with some pretty serious personal stuff lately. Though I do not talk about it to others much at all, I am an alcoholic. A week ago, the young girl next door invited me to her house to watch a football game. I decided to go ... knowing I was going to drink. I cannot say I did not have fun. But, the price I paid for an evening of "fun" surely was not worth it. My daughter found out I was drinking and was so very hurt and disappointed in me.

All was not lost though, God reminded me Friday morning of Celebrate Recovery, a Christ centered recovery program that meets here at the Baptist church where I live on Friday nights, so I went. I am so glad that I did. I love the ministry and the people there. Went to 2nd meeting last night. I'm supposed to be there!

I know all this may seem to have very little to do with the Spark People plan to some of you. But for me, my commitment to God, as a Christian has a ton to do with every area of my life. I had such big plans for SP with the New Year and I've not much carried any of them out. Well yes I have... have done a great deal better with my water drinking.

So many thoughts spinning in my head this morning. Hope my ramble is ok. LOL I have faith though that God is going to lead me in the path He has chosen for my life, so really all is good! I'm way ready to do it the right way!

Leah

  


My Wire Doggie LOL

Friday, September 27, 2013


Above is the wire version of my daughters dog Chew pictured below


I'm an art major at Jacksonville State University in Jacksonville, AL. The wire project was for our Design II class, which is 3d art. The project was honestly a challenge for me to put it lightly. Even on presentation day I was not satisfied with it but apparently my professor was. I got a 91 for my grade. Best grade in class was 93 so I am quite pleased. Mostly making this blog entry because I promised my ladies in Doin' It Again (The Right Way) that I would share pic of wire doggie with them. Our next project in Design is plaster of paris. We will start with a block of it that we poured yesterday and sculpt an organic share with negative space visible within the sculpture. I'm looking forward to this one!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

0309COOKIE 9/27/2013 11:49AM

    Your artwork is fantastic and Chew is adorable! I would love to see more of your work.


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FRANNIEDID 9/27/2013 10:32AM

    Wow, that is awesome!!! I love it. emoticon

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MICHELE1439 9/27/2013 9:04AM

    That is so cool!!!

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AUNTB63 9/27/2013 8:47AM

    WOW this is incredible.....great job. Please continue sharing your projects with us. I have many talents......artistic I am not. Continued success in your class. emoticon

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LINDAKAY228 9/27/2013 7:57AM

    Oh that's so cute!!

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DESERTDREAMERS 9/27/2013 7:56AM

    Lovin' it!

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GEEKYGIRLCHERYL 9/27/2013 7:50AM

    Wow it looks great!

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TATTER3 9/27/2013 6:59AM

    I love this. I'm an artist and just love seeing creativity in motion! Keep Sparkin'!!

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I'm ready!

Sunday, September 08, 2013



Oh wow I truly have so very much to be thankful for and really am seeing this more every single day. I must introduce my brand new grandson though. Maxwell Talmadge was born on August 19th. I love being a grandma! My granddaughter who is five makes me smile so big every time we get to spend time together. Last night I took here to a college football team at the university where I am majoring in art / photography. She had the best time and so did I. I just love to watch her enthusiasm for life. At that age every thing from the game to getting to hug a cheerleader that she didn't even know was amazing to her.

I don't have time really to go into detail about the not so good stuff that brought me here. But that's ok cause I do not look back often. I will say I was in quite a funk when I first moved into this little apartment last August but over this past summer something really snapped in me and I've felt better ever since.

This is a quote that I love:
“Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets, for it and knowledge can raise men to the divine.”

― Ludwig van Beethoven

I am indeed exciting about my craft, my passion which is photography. I am excited about how much I am being given the opportunity to learn at Jacksonville State University here in Jacksonville, AL. Honestly I am just pepped up about life in general and it's been a long long time since I could say that.

I have however gotten off track with my Spark People program so today I start fresh with trackng my food, getting my water in and meeting goal for fitness minutes each week.

I'M READY!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEEKYGIRLCHERYL 9/10/2013 2:34PM

    Congrats on the beautiful grandson!

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CAKAROO 9/10/2013 6:01AM

    Congrats on the new grandbaby!

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PINKYYSUEE 9/9/2013 5:32PM

    Great pic and Congrats!

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AUNTB63 9/8/2013 1:25PM

    First of all you have a beautiful grandson and your granddaughter is such a sweetie pie.
Glad to here you get to enjoy them. Also glad to hear you are up for the challenge of getting healthier in your lifestyle......you surely want to be around to dance at those grands weddings LOL Any ways each day brings us the chance to do things right...to keep moving forward towards our goals. With your positive attitude I'm sure you will do just fine.
Have a great Sunday. emoticon

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