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Squashing the drive to eat

Sunday, July 15, 2012

The last week has been amazing as I shift to a lower calorie intake level. Rather than shifting to tiny potions of processed food I've taken my u-pick food to center stage.

A rather surprising thing has happened. I don't feel hunger. The crazy non stop nagging to have more food just vanished. To the point that I did some research today and found an interesting bit of information that I kind of knew about myself for a long time. That is my body will keep eating until it gets what it needs. I use to think about this only in terms of protein, so I really watch that I get protein early in the day. This research www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBpkcGiOYwE&
feature=relmfu

observes that a lack of minerals and vitamins can actually drive hunger - and sometimes for things that can be higher fat.

I looked over my logs and saw that my micronutrient levels have been hanging at really good levels, even without taking a supplement. Also found it interesting that morbidly obese people may have a harder time using fat soluble vitamins (A,D,K,E) due to storage issues.

As another side note we watched fireworks last night at a community fair. I enjoyed a corn dog and 1/2 an elephant ear. I know goes right in the face of all the good eating I've done. Yet, I logged it as breakfast today and have balanced the rest of my day with tiny snack meals. Neither yesterday or today therefore fell out on any of my calorie/nutrition goals. Love it that this really is becoming a lifestyle where I can adapt in happy hours with my aunt earlier this week and a community fair with my husband and still not go off track.

Only three more weeks until I can start using my foot for true exercise. Now my craving is to be able to do true exercise. In the words of Bob, out of What about Bob? (movie)....I need, I need, I need! www.youtube.com/watch?v=fztNCJy-GXI

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIEANNCAN 7/16/2012 8:50PM

    Woo hoo! Congrats on your progress and I'm glad you only have 3 more weeks to wait!

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BARBGEO 7/16/2012 9:58AM

    YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION!!!

And, every time I speak to or read something from you? I learn. Blessings!!!

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KAREN608 7/16/2012 8:04AM

    I've done that, logged my treat as breakfast the next day then kept counting for that day. Love your blog!

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PLUTONIANGIRLNJ 7/16/2012 12:16AM

    I just experienced this for the first time recently...there is actually a tipping point where your body starts to understand that it's fine without the excess calories. And I fully endorse treating yourself every now and then, otherwise I turn into a diet monster! Glad to hear you had fun at the fair!

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JENNIK2 7/15/2012 9:44PM

    I also found this to be true! Once I started eating less calories, I didn't want to eat so much.

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Corrected Birthday gain

Saturday, July 14, 2012

It's amazing that when I put my mind to it, I can knock off three pounds quite easily. I'd put on three pounds post birthday and then let it linger (the 1st through the 10th). The other day I thought this isn't going to go away on its own, but I bumped my tracked down and gone.

I've been on Spark long enough to know a few things about hanging at the low end of calories:

*start the morning off with something that has protein and for me which is easy since I tend to like to skip breakfast - almonds have been my thing and I keep them right next to my bed so I for sure don't skip. I started out estimating what part of a cup, but now am counting them. This tends to make me eat them one at a time...much better.
*there is no room on calories for processed food, so everything fresh big plate fulls of vegetables and using fruit as dessert (except for Dave's bread if I don't have enough calories at the end of the day)
*end of the day - I like to eat something right before bed as it allows me to sleep - I've been using bread and beer. The beer is an ale so it has more trace stuff and I limit it to 1/3 of a bottle. Benefit is that is cuts off the day so I'm not tempted to stay up and then want to snack. Also allows me to sleep really well.
*when I eat this way it is really hard to get enough calories as I'm very full
*oh yea, water....I go up to 10-12 cups.

Today I'm struggling again to get up to 1,200.

Something I also know about myself is if I keep at this range for too long, I binge so I'm going to do it for a few more days and adjust back to the higher range before this happens.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAL1512 7/14/2012 10:05PM

    Happy Birthday!
Sally emoticon

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JULIEANNCAN 7/14/2012 7:06PM

    Thanks for sharing what you do and congrats on your progress! emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/14/2012 9:20AM

    Good idea. Belated happy birthday.

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UMBILICAL 7/14/2012 12:38AM

  Happy BD

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SUNSHINE99999 7/14/2012 12:36AM

  good luck with your plan which is good to at least have one. Blessings!

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Staying on Track

Friday, July 13, 2012

Calories for the day 1,215 with perfect amount of protein.

Made progress on the Remicade/insurance issue.

When to a U-pick farm today and got beautiful stuff. Will post pictures and tell the whole story tomorrow.

Unfortunately didn't have the greatest health day. Hunger wasn't a problem, because I was feeling nausea all day. When I got out in the sun, I started to feel very shaking and I've actually had to wait until now to force in the last calories to make a balanced day.

Drank more than enough water, just pushing myself too hard. Going to bed and tomorrow will be another day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAL1512 7/14/2012 10:04PM

    emoticon

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JULIEANNCAN 7/13/2012 8:56PM

    I'm sorry to hear about your nausea. Take good care of yourself! emoticon emoticon

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IACTA_ALEA_EST 7/13/2012 8:08PM

    That's a twist isn't it? to force in calories. But you were prepared and you made the best of bad health day with planning and perfect protein!

Way to go!

So glad to hear insurance is turning around.

All you need now is a good night's rest....
emoticon

thanks again for making me laugh with your slip story!!!! I really needed it :D

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/13/2012 9:05AM

    Good job!

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Shifting goals

Thursday, July 12, 2012

So I was staying in the 1,400 to 1,600 range on calories and just nothing was happening. My exercise right now it very very slow walking (due to foot) and floor exercises - neither of which burn a great deal of calories. I looked over my past tracking and found that the only times I had lost more that 2 pounds a month was when one of the two following things were happening 1) eating an average of 1,000 daily calories or 2) exercising more than 3 hours walking or doing stairs for 20 minutes.

I know I ran into nutritional problems in the past by being too low in calories. However, I did readjust to the 1,200 to 1,400 range on my tracker.

Today I did right on 1,200 and don't feel hunger at the end of the day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEXYSIONFARM 7/13/2012 1:15AM

    So happy you found a solution emoticon

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KAREN608 7/12/2012 1:52PM

    I'm dealing with the same thing with calories. At 53, I just do not seem to burn them off easily so it is simpler to eat some less each day. I don't feel hungry if I get enough protein every day. Keep at it!

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JANETSJAMMING 7/12/2012 11:56AM

    That is the way to do it! Keep up the good work emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/12/2012 10:14AM

    Good job!

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Staying positive in the battle

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Life is pretty busy right now.

I hinted before that I had some great news and now that contracts are signed I will share. My husband has a job! I feel this is a really good fit for him and it is wonderful to see the excitement in his eyes.

It is in a different state than we are currently in, so this news has been coupled with doing a great deal of paperwork for state licensing in his profession as well as all the planning that comes with a long distance transition. How to get the car there drive or ship? Where to live? Wrapping up bills, errands etc on this end. It has nearly seemed like a job supporting him getting this job.

So what is my role in all of this. Until the screws come out of my foot and until I can settle what is going to happen with my next Remicade infusion I really can't leave the state since all my insurance is here. Or is it....addressed below.... So at least for the short term and until I could figure out something to do with the house, it looks like I'm going to be on my own again. This is much more unsettling than when he went to california. At that time I was still working and basically health.

As of this morning that really is not true. Inflammation is on a roll again. This is expected since my Remicade infusion is scheduled for tomorrow. I woke up with hips, hands, ribs and shoulders all feeling like I'd been beaten up. It is 2pm and I'm finally moving well enough to get up and get my first meal of the day. I know I will be able to survive while he is gone, just not to the same standard. I'm going to need to hire someone to each week help me with getting garbage to the curb and the few lifting on the stairs tasks (like carrying up laundry) that I can't do.

But then I cancelled my infusion for tomorrow. Wild. This is because I knew that my terms of insurance changed my last month with my job (May), so I've been watching to see if the infusion was going to be covered, before putting in for Cobra...since there is a possibility of getting on the new plan under DH. As of this morning it had not been, so I called the infusion billing office to see what was happening and they told me that the insurance coverage had denied the claim. So I called the insurance company to see the reason for the denial. They needed chart notes. So I called by the infusion billing and they said, we haven't gotten a request for chart notes...back forth on calls to get request and then confirmed with billing office. They then inform me that the last THREE infusions that requested chart notes that were sent still have not been paid.

My jaw dropped to the floor. Four outstanding infusions if private paid translates to approximately $40,000. There was no way I was going to rack up another 10K of jeopardy in my life.

The shock of this isn't just the money. It is the dread of feeling my body starting to sink back into the hole of stiffness. Then the more fortress knowledge that if I go for longer than ten weeks without the infusions the chances that my body could have a immunity reaction to the mouse DNA increase (meaning possible more hospital follow up and never being able to use this drug again). I should be terrified right now.

If I look at this from a negative viewpoint:
I'm being leave alone with tasks that are beyond my current abilities.
I'm getting stiffer and don't have medicine on the way.
I have no clue when I can get it again and maybe will never be able to take it again.
blah blah blah blah blah.......

But that is not the person Sparkpeople has allowed me to become. I was looking over my weight loss journey and seeing all the issues that allowed me to go down, up, down, up higher and currently on the way down again. I lost a pound this morning and even if it was after a small (3 pound birthday bump up) it told me I'm still in the battle. I'm still trying. I haven't given up. If I've learned one thing, the battle is not just food and exercise, it is the overall package of being a person willing to make this a life time change and not give up.

A lifestyle change is all of me - the medicine, the insurance, jobs... At first this morning I was in the game, but with a great deal of victim anger. How could the world be doing all of this to me at the same time?? Then I got up and walked past my mirror which has F.U.N posted on it.

Future focused without fear - all of my anger this morning was fueled by what if fear
Understanding the viewpoint of others - insurance people need to tick off their checklists
Noble purpose - I didn't start Sparkpeople to fail. I came here to overcome.

So the positive outlook:
My husband HAS A JOB! Life will be getting better. He will be learning more. His income will stabilize our situation. Sure having two households will mean I'm on an extremely (more than before) tight budget, but that is a short term thing to get back up.

I'm happy that my husband gets to leave the house as it is a constant reminder of his lost pal Louis and it will be so healthy for him to get to a new environment. By the way, eating healthy may not have gotten me to my goal yet, but he has!!!! He is at his perfect weight and looks great. What a wonderful way to start a new job!

While he is away I get a chance to challenge myself to do more and make better independent systems for myself. I also have the chance to surprise him with a healthier wife when he sees me next. I do get the screws out in August and I will be able to exercise more again.

I'm going to be calling the insurance daily until I get this resolved and I will get another infusion appointment as soon as it is in order. I can have a voice for my body and I will not be anger, rather helpful to make sure all the checklists are completed.

I'm started the ball rolling on disability paperwork. Part of being strong is having safety nets in place. I will not allow pride to stand in the way of logic.

I can work on sorting out the rest of my life and getting it on track. I will exercise for 20 minutes today, even if I have to break it into two 10 minute sessions like I did yesterday.

I can. I will. I am positive.
emoticon emoticonare we there yet, no emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAG2809 7/20/2012 5:09PM

    Just playing catch-up on blog entries. So glad that good stuff is happening!

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SEXYSIONFARM 7/13/2012 1:23AM

    Go hubby go hubby yah on the Job news!!! And a 10000x cable of support goes out to you in dealing with the insurance. As I read this I clutched my chest then as I read I was Abe to breathe again and smiled right along with you.

YOU CAN YOU WILL AND YOU ARE POSITIVE!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IACTA_ALEA_EST 7/12/2012 12:44AM

    Bless you for taking the joyous road.

Negativities magnify when we focus on the too much.

But your husband has a JOB!

May your stiffness abate and the insurance companies get a boot in the butt and pay up!
Allie

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/11/2012 1:48PM

    Congrats on the new job. And best wishes for a speedy recovery.

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BARBGEO 7/11/2012 12:35PM

    YAY.
I am so frustrated for you--but then so PROUD OF YOU!!! You will be the winner in this race, my dear hamster!!! :)

Hugs!

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JULIEANNCAN 7/10/2012 6:28PM

    You are a strong and wonderful person. Congratulations to you and your husband on the new job! That's great! I'm glad you can look at the positive side of things. I know that can personally be difficult for me at times. I know that you are right and you can do it! emoticon

P.S. I am really mad about your insurance issues. That is just not right! I am sending positive energy so that 1) you can get some relief and 2) they pay your claims like they're supposed to!

Comment edited on: 7/10/2012 6:29:16 PM

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