Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I went to work, but I sure didn't feel like it. Thank goodness another person in my group called in sick and I got to do paperwork prep for most of the day rather than working directly over patients. It still is slamming busy, but at least I could regulate what I was doing slightly. There were so many minutes that felt faint and dizzy, but I could sit down as needed.
Really hard is that my lead has it decided that what is wrong is that I'm "only eating green beans" for lunch. Not always, but if you look over my food logs you will know I work very hard to get to the right amount of protein and other nutrients if not everyday on a weekend average. I'll admit my appetite lately has been dropping off, but I tend to remember this happening the last time my iron levels were on the rise. Just to keep people off my back I ate a 1/4 of a brownie and munched on some snack (whoops I complete forgot that chex mix was full of iron...not a great thing). Anyway in the attempt to just make it through the day I ate terrible compared to normal. But it seems to make everyone feel I was ok. Nothing like peer pressure on a day that you feel sick.
I took it easy on the stairs today. I did them nice and slowly and didn't knock myself out doing big number. I plan on taking a long walk tomorrow and getting back in the groove. I'm cuddling my inner hamster and letting her know it is ok to be slow sometimes, just as long as she doesn't give up.
P.S. For all of you that think I should push up the doctor's appointment, please just remember this is the doctor that never returned my call the day I found strings of blood in my urine and also had pain in my abdomen. Trust me, it is starting to be either I'm bad enough for ER or just hang in there. The problem with having a high maintenance body is that doctors start to turn you out. My own personal theory is that I have a kidney stone, but I'm better to keep drinking water and allow the doctor to come to that same conclusion rather than me suggesting it. I've been adding cranberry juice... Thanks for the kind thoughts.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I've been signing in, drinking water, logging meals daily....I had a streak going on, but yesterday hit.
I felt very weak, dizzy, and a huge stabbing pain in my abdomen. I stayed home from work and just took sleeping pills all day to keep myself out of pain. I awoke at 2am this morning with the same stabbing pain, I got up forced myself to drink more water, took a motrin and when back to bed.
I'm forcing myself to get up and do some stairs and eat, but I really don't want to. I don't have a fever - if anything chills. I'm losing weight, but I'm not rejoicing about it as I know this is not the way to do it. I had some broth and that is all I want, but I need to get more energy into my body. I was doing so well. I have my next doctor's appointment on the 29th. I feel like the poor little hamster got hit by a truck.
Friday, September 18, 2009
I've been attempting to figure out why "Living like a Hamster" has been working so well for me. Here is what I discovered.
--It is playful - I'm so much happier climbing stairs imaging myself as a fuzzy critter that in my own overweight body.
--I approach situations differently - today at work I was waiting for the elevator, and I started taking the stairs up. I got hot about five flights up, so I went out and finished that last length by the elevator so I wouldn't be sweaty walking into work - but I did do just a little bit more.
--Pretending you're a hyper active rodent, really does make you hyperactive. I was done with one task at work and I started stocking gowns, running around cleaning up things, going and checking if patients were ok in the waiting room, generally not sitting down.
--I'm more playful and fun loving. I "played" soccer using a tennis ball with Louis tonight - I didn't even log it as exercise because we both had so much fun.
--At the end of a hyperactive day, you've tired and ready for bed. It's 8:30 and I'm exhausted - time for bed (no late snacking...)
More than all that, my mind has started seeing myself as this new body that has endurance and energy -- as I walk out of work today I had the thought "I'm starting to live in the body I want to be in".
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