Thursday, December 27, 2012
Well, needless to say, Christmas eve with my family was nowhere near a Norman Rockwell portrait. Even for my family, I thought everyone sunk to a new low. I was just floored and then I was extremely angry.
When no apologies came, I became even angrier. How do you treat family like that, on a holiday no less and just expect everyone to go on like nothing happened?!
I should know not to question this, of course, this is how I was raised. So anger and resentment have built up in me for many years but I have always pushed it away, or ate it away, or when I'm dedicated, I exercised it away and put a smile on my face for the next holiday.
I've been having a hard time letting go of it this time and the aggravation continued to stew and fester. I could feel the acid in my chest and stomach all day today.
I started taking a yoga class at my library the beginning of this year. It made a world of difference for me with work stress. But I got sick recently and then Christmas so no yoga the last two weeks.
Yesterday I did the Spark People 30 minuteTotal Body challenge workout from the 28-Day Bootcamp DVD so my thighs are barking big time. No way could I go run this anxiety off.
So I put a load of laundry in, logged on to spark people to look for a calming yoga workout. I found the 15 minute Qi Gong Routine.
When I started the Qi Gong video, I had my doubts. I was too wound up I thought, yoga helps with minor work stress. I am in serious stress. I turned off the light and turned up the volume on the computer to drown out the chatter in my head.
The narrator's calm voice, the mountains, the swish noise coming from my washing machine almost instantly calmed me.
Half way through I felt everything just release. My neck and chest unclenched. I closed my eyes, pictured doing this on my favorite spot in Key West near the ocean where I was married six years ago.
I have educated myself to know that holding on to anger and resentment only hurts me, not the person who hurt me but it was just so hard to let go of this time. I cannot change other people, just my reaction to them. I know this, but sometimes it is extremely difficult.
I HIGHLY recommend this video in times of stress. Even if you don't get into yoga. It's very easy, and SO relaxing.
Thank you to my spark friends who helped me try to let it go today! I hope everyone who reads this can find a way to let something go that they cannot change.
Monday, December 24, 2012
During this holiday season, I hope everyone is finding peace and happiness. Hugs all around!
The following is one of my many favorite movie lines, from the movie Love Actually.......
Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that.
It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends.
When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do.
Pope John XXIII
I hope everyone has a wonderful day/weekend/holiday!
Do something that makes you happy and proud of yourself, no matter how small!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Be a can-do, will-try person. Focus on what you have and not what you don't have, what you can do rather than what you cannot do.
Marian Wright Edelman
Let's all make it a can-do Thursday!
Thursday, December 13, 2012
I've never been a good patient. I normally roll over and play dead for several days until my body and meds decide everything is all good again.
Last night I had a little tickle in my throat. No big deal I thought as I headed for the gym. I really worked the upper body machines, then a two-mile run on the treadmill. Two hours after I got home it hurt to swallow! At 1am this morning, I felt like I had razor blades in the back of my throat.
Instead of curling into a ball and getting ready to play dead, I got myself in to see the doc. No strep, phew, but swollen glands, fluid in my ears and a sinus infection. My throat hurt so bad that I didn't even realize how congested I was. I asked the doc if light exercise was ok and he said nuh uh.
So for a change, I am being a good patient. I am doing all the things I hate to do when I'm sick. I managed to get down all eight cups of water. Normally I'm lucky to get one glass of water down, makes me feel sick to my stomach. But I'm powering through.
I have held my head over steam twice so far. I hate that. I feel like I'm being smothered but the doctor said it will loosen everything up.
I'm sitting still instead of finishing putting up decorations. I have lots of time for reading now. I should finish this book this weekend which will be my 20th book of the year, reaching my goal on goodreads.com.
I still hate being sick, but I am determined to get rid of this bug that has derailed my plans. I may even gargle salt water. Ugh, maybe.
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