Wednesday, May 01, 2013
I was hoping to head into May on a good note with the tragic events in Boston in the rear-view mirror and spring weather finally arriving.
Sometimes life throws a curve ball and my family was hit with one in a major way last weekend when news spread of a cousin's suicide. He left a wife and seven children.
It was a giant kick in the stomach to all of us, especially considering this is the second suicide in my extended family in the last three years. Even more painful is the fact that my aunt has now has lost her fourth child (still born child, motorcycle accident, heart attack and now this). She's tough my aunt, a wonderful woman that does not let the world knock her down but this has to be too much to shoulder.
My cousin and his wife were with me almost daily helping me with my mom's health crises last year. His infectious laugh and smile lit up the room when he walked in and made my mom's day.
So far, no note has been found and nobody has been able to look back and say "oh yeah, I should have known." Nobody saw this coming. Going back and forth the last few days being angry and sobbing profusely I wondered if it will really helps to know why. I don't know.
I do know he had to be in some horrific amount of pain to feel this was his only option. I can't imagine what that feels like. You couldn't tell though. Another example of just because someone is smiling on the outside, doesn't mean they are not hurting on the inside.
I went for a three-mile run yesterday, cried through most of it. I must have been quite a sight. The sun was shining and I thought of his smile. I saw kids playing and remembered him as a boy. I hoped for a good life and tons of love for the children I passed.
This Saturday we will say goodbye to him. We will have to be strong for each other and get through this low point until the next high comes through. Life comes in waves. All we can do is ride the waves with as much love and dignity as we can.
And I will look for the positive in life and find something fun to blog about soon!
Saturday, April 27, 2013
What a great day for a run in the Chicago area. FINALLY! The last two runs I did, the weather was COLD and rainy with sleet thrown in for an extra punch.
This morning I ran in the DuPage County Human race, benefitting non-profits, including my employer. There was blue sky, sunshine and temps closing in on 60 I believe. Perfect running weather in my book!
I met great people, one of which was the 91-year-old widow of one of our volunteers. She walked the two mile walk part of today's event. There is no way I can ever come up with an excuse to not be active after meeting her! What a great lady!
We started out with a moment of silence for the Boston victims and then singing along with a recording of Whitney Houston singing the National Anthem. I was moved to tears. Even as we started running and Myth by Beach House was playing on my playlist. I had goosebumps!
We ran downhill for a ways and I thought THIS IS GREAT! Then it hit me, I'm going to have to come back up all these inclines eventually.
I told myself to relax, take it slow and enjoy the morning. Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine started playing and I was reminded of the 2012 St. Patrick's Day 5K when this song started me out. I smiled thinking about how far I have come physically from then.
The end of downhill running soon ended and I had to start back uphill. Pat Benetar's All Fired Up was playing and I pushed myself. I noticed a woman ahead of me slow to a walk on the inclines shortly before I would do the same. We seemed to take turns slowing down and picking up the pace passing each other. After a few minutes of this, we started encouraging each other as we passed each other.
Candyman by Christina Aguillara, Baby I'm a Star by Prince and Show me How You Burlesque by Chistina Aguillara played while I started to get tired. I kept telling myself "You're okay, just dance". That always helps keeps me moving.
JD McPherson's North Side Gal helped me pick up the pace, then Somebody's Out There by Triumph played as I saw the finish line getting closer and I took off running. It was like I stepped outside myself. I couldn't believe I mustered up that much energy!
As I crossed the finish line, Done by The Band Perry played. I turned around and saw
the woman I took turns passing earlier and we high-fived.
My time........ 31:33. WHOOHOO! Best time..... so far.
From Pat Benetar's All Fired Up..
Now I believe there comes a time
When everything just falls in line
We live and learn from our mistakes
The deepest cuts are healed by faith
It has taken a while but "I can't" is slowly fading from my vocabulary! I have faith in myself!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Happy Thursday to all.
Hard to believe it's almost the end of April. Hopefully the weather will continue to reflect the calendar consistently very soon.
I'm having a no-energy-no-confidence day. I'm looking forward to getting past the challenges I have to face at work this morning. It was one of those mornings I was not happy with anything I put on, everything looked dumpy. There is large pile of clothes on my closet floor at the moment.
Walking in to work, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I remembered an article someone sent me a couple months ago written by Marilu Henner. Click the link below...
Her friend was trying on coats for a romantic ski trip, agonizing over each one she tried on looking slouchy and uncomfortable. Marilu finally pointed out to her that it wasn' t the coats, it was her. She explained that the coats would look great on her if she would just "work the coat".
The expression caught on in her family, becoming a slogan for attitude and presentation. I have thought about this every now and again the last few weeks. I notice when I see my reflection in a window that I have terrible posture.
I think I'm more toned and slim than I have been in a long time, then I catch my reflection and think, how could I look that awful?! It's amazing what simply rolling my shoulders back, pulling in my abs and holding my head high can do for that reflection!
Today, I feel all off but I know, it's a just a day; everyone has one now and again. I'm not happy with what I am wearing and I feel a little bloated from last night's dinner but nobody needs to know that.
So today I'm going to roll back my shoulders, pull in my abs and power through the morning as if I am TOTALLY confident. Sometimes presentation is everything.
So everyone, let's get out there and WORK THE COAT!
Sunday, April 21, 2013
It's been a depressing week, the Boston Marathon, the horrible flooding here in my area among other terrible local news. I had to avoid the news as much as possible lately. I tend to absorb others sadness.
I focused on Spark People; I read blogs, diligently logged my food, I worked out and kept reminding myself this sad news and endless rain will pass.
The weather is finally spring like this weekend. It felt SO good to get outside. I had a great run yesterday. I took less walking breaks than I usually do, I kept thinking about those that cannot be active right now and pushed on.
It looks to be another beautiful day here so I'm thinking about a bicycle ride. My yellow lab is laying at my feet, patiently waiting for her walk. I'm getting the big eyes. The second I get up from this chair, she'll be on me like glue "are we going now? what about now, can we go now?" She definitely keeps me moving.
I think I hear the Brady Bunch singing....
I think I'll go for a walk outside now
The summer sun's calling my name
I hear ya now I just can't stay inside all day
I gotta get out get me some of those ray ay ays
Everybody's smiling, sunshine day
Everybody's laughin, sunshine day
Everybody seems so happy today
It's a sunshine day!
Check out the video, I dare ya not to get in a good mood!
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