Monday, September 15, 2014
I’m getting into my usual end-of-summer reflective mood. True, summer isn’t technically over in my corner of the world but close enough. So welcome to the reflective pond that is my blog.
Some things I learned about myself recently……
Stop thinking “I can’t”. True, I am not super human, there are things I cannot do BUT, I must stop letting that be my first thought. Last week I was asked if I wanted the house chips or fruit salad with my sandwich. I had intended house chips but said fruit salad without thinking which startled me. This was a first. Will I always make healthy choices every single time? No but I can and it gets easier with practice.
I can run in chilly, rainy weather. Granted it’s not preferable, but I’ve done it before so I need to stop saying “I can’t” when the weather takes an unexpected turn. I did it last week and had one of my better runs.
I can handle uncomfortable situations with my dad. My whole life, I dreaded the thought of my parents aging to the point I’d need to help. I can visit with my dad and his girlfriend after my mom’s pictures have been removed. I didn’t self-destruct. I can ask the nurse to discuss no sexual activity with my dad after his recent surgery.
Okay, I did self-destruct, mildly for a few seconds.... on the inside. But I ask you, who wouldn’t after their 75 year-old father says that having a nymphomaniac girlfriend is not as easy as young guys think it might be?!
I can be happy with my body no matter what the scale says. After years of going up and down the scale, mostly up, thinking “I’d look so much better if I just lost 10 pounds”, “Things would be easier if I was a size 8 again” I no longer live by the scale or what size jeans I wear.
For the last couple years, my focus has changed to healthy food choices and portions, building muscle and endurance. Next week I will begin the last year of my 40s which sounds like a death march but I am feeling good that I am strong and active as I head toward the expressway to my 50s. I have only just begun!
We are all worth taking care of. No good comes from throwing in the towel and self-destructing when life gets hard. Will I never again throw in the towel when life gets hard, no. That’s a very difficult thing to remember when everything seems to be going wrong but it’s important. That thought gets a little easier to avoid the more I repeat that it's important to take care of myself.
If we keep repeating positive messages and practicing positive behaviors, it will soon be like ordering a fruit salad instead of house chips without thinking.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
..... i have said to myself many times when I know better but I do it anyway.
It was a fine Wednesday morning, yeah a little worried about dad but he'll be fine and I had my emotions in check and I felt like it was going to be a productive day at work.
I bought a little bag of chocolate covered raisins in the cafeteria early this morning for a snack for later. I had a chocolate craving and it was a smart portion. I have this under control. I'm not feeling emotional, just have a taste for a little chocolate.
And then it happened, our boss came in with a large bakery box full of delicious treats for his birthday, which we do not normally do here but it was a milestone birthday. They were small and I reasoned it was very early in the day, plenty of time to burn off the calories.
It was just a small canoli and then it was just a small chocolate éclair as we sat with him and had some laughs.
Back at my desk, there was the small bag of chocolate covered raisins. Soon, there were no more chocolate covered raisins. I looked at the bag astonished. Did I do that?!
The day quickly went downhill, stomach lurched, energy zapped, lethargy set in, emotions fired in every direction like a laser light show at a rock concert and papers were shuffled with no meaning. A large cup of tea was drunk but only increased the bloating.
After lunch they pulled the bakery box from the fridge and I quickly consumed a small cream puff. Someone mentioned I looked a little peeked. I said "I feel a lot peeked!"
I heard Grace from the show Will and Grace singing the "I Told You So" song:
So I just went for a 15-minute walk, filled up my water bottle and gave myself a good talking to. RESET BUTTON!
I'm going to go to my hair cut appointment now, otherwise known as my cheap therapy session, and wash this day right out of my hair.
Thank you for listening!
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