KELLEA927   6,286
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You are always hardest on yourself

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Like most people who struggle with weight I started my morning off irritated that once again the scale is not moving in the direction I had anticipated this morning. I mean I'm busting my butt working out, eating Paleo (although admittedly not as perfectly as I would like) and taking care of my general health and well being. So of course I was mad when the scale went up not down today.
I'm the queen of motivating people and the first to tell people not to look at the scale but look at themselves and here I am stressing over the stupid scale myself. I just feel like I should be there already. Like these last 10lbs should be gone by now. And I know better.
I needed to stop and refocus. Do I even know my goal or is it really just a number on a scale? Is that really my goal is for the scale to show me what I want it to??
So I went back to old pictures. I found my old start picture here from 5 years ago. I thought hey I still have that swimsuit! Lol. Then I started picking myself apart today. Getting upset about why I don't look that much different then 5 years ago! And it hits me, am I insane?? 5 years... I've had two more kids since then, I've moved across the country and I've been through some of the best and worst times of my life. Not to mention I'm 5 years older! If I was one of my friends complaining I would be asking myself if I'm crazy!! LOL. But it's true. So I took a side by side and started trying to look at it in a more positive light. Now granted the before image is blurry so that doesn't help much either but there is still some change. And I've had 2 more kids (gaining 40-60lbs with each kid)!! So for there to be even just a little change for the better after that I should feel good about myself.
So why aren't I? And what do I want to see? That's what I'm asking myself now. If this isn't the goal then what is? Is it really that number on the scale? If the scale suddenly said that number but the image was the same would I be happier?? The answer is no. I don't think that's what I want. So what do I want? Good question right?
So here it is, I want to be more toned. Not six pack ab toned but a bit more definition and one size smaller. And ultimately is any of that going to suddenly improve my life and make it any more amazing? NO! That's the funny part!! I let a number on the scale get me all worked up for what?? It's certainly not going to alter my life in some amazing way. I'm not going to wake up smaller with a huge bank account and any more love in my life. Lol. No, it's just going to be a goal I've accomplished. And then it'll be over. So really? I am crazy. Crazy to be so focused on this damn scale. Making myself crazy over something so stupid. Something I've told millions of people not to focus on.
So instead I'm changing my mood, because I can do that. I'm stopping the feeling irritated and the desire to throw my scale at a wall and instead I'm going to focus on pushing forward and enjoying how far I have come and looking forward to seeing what can be with what I am doing. I will rejoice in the little improvements I see here and there but I can't let it affect my mood. I'm done being crazy... Well done adding to my crazy anyhow. ;)

Here are the images in case you are wondering. On the left is 2009 and the right today. A whole 6lb difference but also a long 5 years too. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

13UST_IT 4/16/2014 6:20PM

    Love your attitude! I try to remind myself of these things all the time. emoticon

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LIVE_2_KICK 4/16/2014 11:47AM

    emoticon emoticon
Way to self-correct! Awesome attitude!

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It's been a long journey

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Hi Spark people!!
Well I have gone through some changes including but not limited to losing my job and moving our entire family from California to Texas (over the last 1.5 years). One thing I have been so worried about has been gaining my weight back after doing HCG (while I had a job!). But I am happy to report that the weight has stayed off and even more has come off. Not due to stress because through it all I have found myself much happier and more at peace then ever before.
I will say selling everything we own and moving across the country was a journey both physically but mentally too. So much baggage gone it feels amazing! Financially we are on the mend but physically and emotionally we are all stronger and closer.
I haven't been watching my good intake but I am always mindful of what I am eating and continue to weigh in daily or as often as I can find a scale. Now that we have our own place again it's back to weighing in daily! I actually for down to 152 at one point but this last month I gained a few back and have decided to join a diet bet challenge and am determined to lose down to my comfort zone back into the 155 range. I think it's healthy to have a 5lb range and mine is 155-160 (I'm 163.2 now). Anyone not family with diet bet it's a website where you place a bet (my group is doing $10) if you lose 4% of your weight in 28 days you get to split the pot with everyone else who also lost 4%. How perfect?! No competing to be the biggest loser just to be healthy!! It starts Saturday and I am pumped!
I have been running sporadically when I can here and there but am also excited to be able to get back I to a workout routine.
In the end life's been crazy but I am proud it didn't cause me to gain weight as before I was such an emotional water. I have never been this small without working out 4 hours a day and tracking every crumb so every day I am amazed at what I have done. I never would've believe it was in me!! So I KNOW it's in you!!!
Here's my before and after pics. I was over 200lbs here, can't remember the exact weight and to the right is today at 163. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NICKJAROSH 10/14/2013 1:46PM

    Way to go!

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MWWENSIN 10/12/2013 12:28PM

    That's awesome. It is always stressful to move a long distance. I moved from Maryland to Texas due to a job change. Things are quite a bit different between the 2 and my family is on the east coast. I've been here 6 years and have adjusted.

You can get the 4 % weight loss done. Just lose a little each week so you don't feel overwhelmed at the end. emoticon

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SHANNONINAZ 10/11/2013 3:46PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TINY67 10/11/2013 10:53AM

    emoticon You're looking great.

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NALAYB 10/11/2013 10:39AM

    You look fantastic!

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IFDEEVARUNS2 10/11/2013 8:37AM

    Looking good - in both pictures! emoticon

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P0KERS0PH 10/10/2013 4:11PM

    You look great! Well done!

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I love my crock pot!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

No other way to cook in the summer besides BBQ of course!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMDAQTPI 5/17/2013 6:03PM

    I just love how handy they are. We've got a huge one and make multiple meals out of one pot worth.

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MOMMY445 5/17/2013 8:14AM

    crockpots are great! i use mine often. have a fantastic day!

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LASKIE2 5/17/2013 6:08AM

    I enjoy using my crockpot too, especially during the winter months!

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AHHHH Munchie Attack

Friday, April 26, 2013

Nom nom nom...

just kidding!!! No more Cheeze its!!!

On an up note this shirt finally fits me.... after only being in my closet for three years or so....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANIE0677 4/28/2013 1:47PM

    Aww I eat unhealthy snacks like cheeze its too, but I stick with the one serving amount and add other stuff like a fruit or carrot with it. I don't think it is wrong so long as it is in moderation, that does take discipline though. For me that has not been a problem.

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BUTTERFLYER246 4/27/2013 10:43PM

    The Teddy Grams tragedy comment cracked me up! Loved it :D

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    Great Blog! Try getting into the habit of eating more during the day, and it may help you have better control over your evening 'Munchie Attacks.' Best Wishes in reaching all of your goals.


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STR458 4/26/2013 7:35PM


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I did it!

Friday, April 19, 2013

I did it, I did it, I did it!!! :) The real victory was in not letting a busy schedule interfere with my workout goals!! This in and of itself is HUGE!!!

How do you set yourself up for success?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIBELLALUNA 4/26/2013 1:56PM

    WHAT?!?!? Girl, you look AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No clue how I missed out on your return, but now I feel my excuses run out, you can look so great after birthing 2 babies.....and......I have only birthed wild

I am 'wallowing' on my plateau, maybe forcing my butt into 3 workouts a week. But ruuuuuun...ugh...can't do it. Wah. I am however about to head into yoga booty ballet territory :::cue the evil face of "Black Swan".::: haha

MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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SUNSHINE_ANGEL1 4/22/2013 1:09PM

    Good job!

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DRKEYEZ820 4/22/2013 11:06AM

    WTG that's a HUGE NSV!!! Im so psyched for u :) keep doing your thang girl!

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DANIE0677 4/20/2013 10:12PM

    Wow I am proud of you, like I said I am in training too and right now to run 1.5 minutes to 2 minutes is hard for me. I can't even fathom 20 minutes yet. Your right there are days I don't feel like it and I am like aww I'll just do it another day so long as I get four workout days in this week. If I just go and do it I am so glad I did and feel great for sticking to it. I love working out though. Most days I do look forward to it. I imagine is is harder for those who don't enjoy it like I do.

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CHARITYM00N 4/20/2013 12:52AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Wenona Morning Star Gardner
Leader of the Spark Vlogger Spark Team

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STR458 4/20/2013 12:11AM

    emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/20/2013 12:12:19 AM

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NANINOTTAWA 4/19/2013 7:23PM

    Well done Kellie! I am so happy for you. And 11 minute mile sounds great to me. So it depends from the vantage point the person looks onward. Good advice. Set yourself up for success. And yes, I accomplished the 2 mile walk today. I feel fantastic! Well done! Very well done! emoticon Nan

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TLG71567 4/19/2013 5:16PM

    I am keeping myself accountable on SP.

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