Monday, April 29, 2013
Just got back from our Florida vacation. This was something we've been planning for months, were supposed to do in February but with all the snow, our flights were cancelled and we had to postpone the trip until this last week. It was great and I felt great knowing that some of my summer clothes are too big and others that used to be too tight are fitting well. I need to buy a new bathing suit but didn't want to shell out the money for that quite yet so I was wearing my old one and feeling self conscious about how it fit, especially around my chest. I managed to go swimming in the pool and the ocean though and we had a great time.
Now several months into my new eating plan (South Beach), I know what items to look for when we go out to eat, which is pretty much all we did on our trip. It's not like you have a lot of options living out of a hotel room with a small fridge but no microwave. Breakfasts were generally easy, with eggs and turkey sausage fairly easy to find on menus, but I did splurge on some french toast and some grits. It is vacation after all! The trick is that now that I'm home I feel like I need to get back on the straight and narrow. I may have been a little too lax on the vacation, eating some fried seafood and potatoes, not going to the gym, etc. We even shared dessert last night and I find that it's hard for me to just jump right back in. I'm heading to the grocery store now to stock up on healthy food options and want to get back to hard core journalling my food and getting back into the gym. I'll be out of town next weekend and can't let it mess with my head.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Well, today hasn't been great. Actually, I think it started before today. I had a girls' night out on Friday night. Kansas City is having its local Restaurant Week and I made the choice to go out despite being in the beginning phase of the South Beach Diet. I'd been doing really well eating on the plan and had lost 10 pounds in the first 9 days! For our girls' night, we chose to go to Fogo de Chao, a Brazilian style steak house with a beautiful salad bar (great start, easy to stay on plan there) and then all the roasted meat you want served on spit at your table. The cuts of meat were mostly sirloin, which is on the diet as long as you don't go too crazy with portion. Well, I can't say that I limited it as much as I should have, but everyone gets a splurge now and then, right? Of course, restaurant week also includes dessert with your meal, and while I didn't eat the whole thing, I did order the flan and and ate about half of it. I go back and forth between being proud of myself for doing as well as I did and disappointment in myself for going off as much as I did. This is my pattern - all or nothing thinking leads me to go off a little, get down on myself and then go off big time. On the Atkins low carb program, this was a major issue - I was eating too much saturated fat to splurge on the carbs and knock myself out of ketosis. That's one of the reasons I chose to do South Beach this time - it's much more flexible and forgiving. But splurging before my first two week were completed may have been a problem.
So yesterday I was pretty focused in getting back on track hard core. We went to the gym, I ate strictly on plan but I also had my partner around for accountability. Today I was on my own and I'm not known for stellar will power and keeping myself on track. I went to church and did great only having a salad at the luncheon meeting afterwards (they were also serving rolls, quiche and cookies) but then I went to Costco and was faced with temptations galore. I know myself well enough to know that sugar is my downfall, especially in the form of chocolate. When I smelled the pies baking yesterday I had to buy some nuts just to give my stomach something else to eat and hold the cravings at bay, but today I couldn't do it.
I bought some chocolate almond bark thins. As candy goes, it's not the worst thing to have, but it's definitely not on my diet - no sugar is supposed to be the norm and giving in to that is only going to set me back. I don't know if the flan on Friday night is partially to blame but I couldn't seem to not get anything. I think in the old days I could have and probably would have eaten the whole bag over the course of the day. I've eaten about a third of the bag (3-4 servings worth) and honestly feel too full to eat anymore. I even made sure to log it in my nutrition tracker (this is the most honest I've been on tracking what I eat) and I'm surprised that it didn't blow things more than it did. I just don't really know what to do now. I can't bring myself to get rid of the rest of the bag, even though I know I should. I can't throw food away - it's just not in me. But if I have it around the house, how long can I hold off on the next craving? I can't hide it from myself - and i can't hide from myself as much as I want to.
I'm supposed to move on to phase 2 of SBD this week, bringing in one serving of whole grains and fruit each day, but I think this set back means I should do at least another week of phase one to clear out my system of the sugar and reset my body again. I can't trust myself with any sugar, which is, I believe, a common problem for many people like me. I crave it and can binge on it in ways that are shameful and literally killing me. It's hard to imagine a life without it but I believe it's the only way. My goal right now is to not let this end the progress I've been making. I probably didn't gain back the 10 lbs I lost that first week and a half, even if I'm not losing anything for the next few days. I can't - I won't - let this be the end of my new life.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
It's been one week and I've been feeling pretty good. I still crave sweet things after almost every lunch and dinner, but sugar free gum has become a good friend to get through those cravings. I'm finally starting to get all my 8 glasses of water in and have continued to be surprised with how few calories I've been eating when I track my food. The South Beach Diet seems to really be clicking for me, kind of combining the low carb way of eating that I enjoyed in the past without the overindulgence in saturated fats that concerned my partner.
Yesterday morning I got on the scale to check in for my weekly update and I lost 10 pounds in the first week!! Totally crazy and I am not expecting that to continue, especially when I start putting fruit and grains back into my diet. I'm really looking forward to having oatmeal and some other items back in my weekly repertoire.
My next focus will be on incorporating exercise more regularly. I made it to the gym the other night for the first time since the holidays. It was crowded with other resolutioners (and I'm a little down on myself for becoming one of them) but I have to admit that it felt good to have burned some calories (on the elliptical) while watching the tv show I would have watched at home anyway.
My first hiccup came this afternoon. Our monthly staff meeting involves breakfast, generally muffins and fruit juice from Costco. Of course, none of this fits into my current eating plan, so I made sure to eat a good breakfast before I went in to work and had my water bottle, snacks, etc. I was fine until later morning when I went to grab my snack of string cheese and nuts, and we had apple danish left over from the meeting sitting out on the break room table. I can clearly remember the thought process - justifying that it was okay to splurge since I have done so well for a week and lost so much already. I didn't have a whole danish - at least I can control myself that much - and the half danish that I had tasted sweeter than I expected, although quite delicious. I don't really know how to track it since there's no nutritional info that I can find, but I found a substitute to at least give me something to remind myself what I did and give me an idea of what kind of affect it has on my daily info. I am surprised that I didn't go back and have the other half after lunch. I know there are going to be times when I choose to splurge, and I think this was probably too soon in my new way of life to try it, but I think even more than that, this is helping me to see that I need to find other ways of rewarding myself. I'm so used to food being used for celebrating, rewarding, comforting, etc. and if I allow it, I'll be able to justify all kinds of splurges that will sabotage what I'm trying to accomplish. Ideas for other big and little rewards?
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