Tuesday, December 03, 2013
Today has just been one of those days where things snowball right after the other and you cry over one thing and then everything else just makes you keep crying.
Or am I just crazy??
I got a fantastic bike ride in today that was a little different than my usual, but still AMAZING. I absolutely love Florida weather and the fact that it was in the 70s today :)
Came home and then read an article:
It was so simple and so true, and I teared up reading it. Some resonated more than others, but all are very much true.
Then of course following events earlier today, I talked to one of my best guy friends and he was just able to put a smile on my face that I was SO grateful for (cue some more tears).
I also got a message today from one of the ladies from my church that my family and I spent Thanksgiving with and it just made me so happy to read it.
I think now I'm realizing that the love that surrounds me each and every day from different people can get me through all of this. I don't know if I've ever appreciated it more than I do now at this point in my life.
Yes, for those of you wondering, I AM crying right now, but I don't think I'm hurting. It just feels like a wonderful release and realization of... many things.
But... I should probably stop that because... I DO have a date tonight and it's hard to look good with puffy eyes, right? :)
Much love to all of you my Spark family
There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
No matter what, once in your life, someone will hurt you. That someone will take all that you are, and rip it into pieces and they won't even watch where the pieces land. But through the breakdown, you'll learn something about yourself. You'll learn that you're strong. And no matter how hard they destroy you, that you can conquer anyone.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
It's crazy how life changes in a week and your perspective on things shifts. And oh yeah, God works in amazing ways :)
Quote of the Day:
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Sorry friends that I've been MIA for awhile.... so here goes....
One week ago today, Nate asked me to move in with him next month when his roommate moves out. Ok awesome! We've been together for just over a year, take a next step, great.
Rest of the week was great, then Friday I get up, go to work and come home, and all of his stuff (xbox, computer, etc) was GONE from my apartment. Didn't freak out right away; I was like ok... panic a little, but if I'm moving in (albeit in a few WEEKS) he just moved his stuff now....? But then I found the toiletries and such that I had at HIS place back in my bathroom.
Cue the panic. I texted him and asked WHAT is going on??? Then I went to his place (he goes to school every weekday from 4:30-11:30 and it was like 7-7:30 at this point) to see if he maybe left a note or a hint of anything. But there I find a wallet picture of me and a little note he had sticking in his dash ripped up and thrown in the trash.
Cue hysteric bawling, shaking, convulsing in his living room. NOT normal. I'm like, this is ANGRY behavior, WHAT is going on??? And I had a sick feeling in my stomach that it was over but I had no idea what to think on the other hand.
He goes on break from 8-8:40 every night, so I drive to the school but he left a few minutes before 8 (knowing I'm not stupid and would probably show up) so I ended up seeing his best friend and he was like, omg I have NO idea! He's like, Nate was JUST telling me last night how excited he is that you're moving in! And his roommate had no idea what happened either.
Nate gets back to the school at 8:30. I walk up to his car, and without me saying a word, he goes, I am NOT going to have this conversation with you. And storms off... Cue the bawling again and screaming after him.
So I drive to Victoria's Secret (lol) to see the girls that I started working with before my promotion and I bawled and we went out for a few drinks. Then I came home and he was at his place, so I marched on over to find out what the hell was going on.
His explanation: I feel like I shouldn't have to explain this. We never had a GREAT relationship. It was ok and yeah we worked and had a fun time, but it was never GREAT. There were never the butterflies or the anticipation to see each other.
To which I called bulls***. I said, no. You just don't know what it's like to have someone love you like I love you and no one has ever treated you like I treat you so you don't know what that feels like.
And he says, you're right. I don't. and I don't deserve you giving that to me. You're too sweet and amazing of a girl and a perfect girlfriend, but not for me; I'm an a**hole (YEP YOU SURE ARE) and you don't deserve to give me that love. And I'm like... was I ever unhappy with you? Or made you feel like the love you gave me wasn't enough? And he said no... I know you're happy.
So we walk outside and I'm like, it KILLS me that you can walk away right now and there is no expression or emotion from you. And his response was: I have to be emotionless or I can't walk away. THEN WHY ARE YOU!!?!?!??!
I'm not sad. I'm insanely ANGRY. We had this struggle, not as intense, earlier in our relationship, but he realized that I had his back and I would help and support him.
UGH. There's more, but I just... don't want to go more into it now. I have had zero contact with him since Friday, but I've talked to his roommate twice. I'm done... he can crawl back and offer me the world, but f*** you a**hole (sorry), you're not getting another chance.
Quote of the Day:
there's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up. it's realizing that you don't need certain people and their crap.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
I was reading a blog posted by a friend today via Facebook which had a link to an article of photos of Olympic athletes and their body types.
I think that in society today, we get so hung up on "getting skinny" that we forget what athleticism looks like, and if we are working hard, "skinny" might not be the end result whereas FIT would be a more accurate description.
It was amazing and inspiring to go through the comparisons of these athletes and see their similarities and differences. I then found a link where you can put in your stats and it will show where you fall in the range of Olympians which was pretty cool too!
Wherever you are in your journey, keep your head high, and push forward. Athletes come in all shapes and sizes, and I'm sure that they are proud of their bodies and the amazing things they can accomplish even if they are not the "typical" Hollywood standard "beautiful" size.
Quote of the Day:
You know that feeling when you get done with a workout and your shirt is soaked, you're dripping, a little shaky from the exertion?
That's when you think, "I did it again, I really did it. And I know I can do it again tomorrow."
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