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Scared to shake my butt at the shoe store

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I've gotten serious enough about running that I need better shoes. Don't get me wrong--I'm still a rank newbie and don't go that fast. I was ecstatic over doing a 5K in 35 minutes, and I have a feeling serious runners would chuckle at that.

I just think, if I'm running about 10 miles a week and slowly yet consistently adding to that, the wear and tear on my joints are worth considering. Apparently my sister (a half-marathon veteran) agrees, because she's getting me new shoes from a running store for my birthday.

Here's the thing: a store employee videotapes your lower legs while you run so they can gauge your needs. The idea of an extremely healthy, experienced runner watching me shake my not-so-athletic, not-s0-firm, glaringly amateur stuff from behind makes me wonder if I could succumb to hives for the first time in my life.

I know I love running and that these shoes will be one of the best gifts ever. I know it doesn't matter what some tiny, toned young thing thinks of my jigglies. I know I will never see these people again anyway unless it's from behind them at some area 5K.

So...please remind me that I need to get over my embarrassment and shake what God gave me at the store clerk without shame?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLYCHRISTI 1/16/2012 3:34AM

    You must be proud of yourself! You have done so many things...!
Shame is not for you!
emoticon emoticon

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CEEWASH69 11/1/2011 4:46PM

  Shake what you have and take pride in the fact that you have exercised, walked and ran until you have worn out a pair of shoes!!!! I am really looking forward to the day that I can actually RUN like you are doing so keep it up!!!

emoticon emoticon


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ELLSKI85 10/16/2011 7:40PM

    HAHAAHA That's too funny, and it is slightly terrifying. Why do they have to zoom in?!?!Lol, It'll be awesome though once you got your new, perfect sneakers!

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WALKINGBYFAITH2 10/14/2011 10:27PM

    A big AMEN to what everyone else said. What a great gift from your sister! Enjoy your time in a place where everyone else enjoys talking about running too! emoticon

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SHERYL_B 10/14/2011 5:01PM

    I've never even heard of that. It sounds so awesome and what a great gift!!!! You are taking a step to improve yourself and no one should ever look negatively on that.

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    I agree with everyone, especially how the serious runners will not be judging you! They certainly weren't born that way and had to work at where they are now. I also don't think the shoe people will be watching your jiggles more than your feet, just think about much more amazing your feet are you going to make your run feel girl!

Don't forget...YOU ROCK!

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KLICKM 10/14/2011 1:46PM

    Shake it, Shake it, Shake it!! It will be worth it in the end.

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KKINNEA 10/14/2011 12:21PM

    Shake it girl - the most important thing is a healthy run, which good shoes give you!

I went and babbled all over at least 2 store clerks like a nutter when I needed 2 new pairs of sneakers within a month of my marathon. I was a head case for sure.

If they truly love running, as run-centric store folks do, they'll be so happy to help you better your run they won't notice anything else, real or imagined!

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JENN26POINT2 10/14/2011 11:29AM

    You know what experienced runners/shoe fitters think??

LOOK AT THAT! There is a girl who is taking control and making positive changes! There is a girl who is kickin' ass and taking names! There is the girl I USED to be.

Any serious runner would congratulate you on your 35 minute 5K finish. They'd tell you that you did a great job and to keep it up.

The shoe guy won't even be LOOKING at your jiggle! He'll be looking at your FEET! How they strike, how they push off, etc, etc. They won't even be interested in your jiggle.

I know how it feels... it's like going to the gynecologist and being concerned that you didn't shave your legs... trust me, they don't care. They just want the sale! ;)

I hope you love your new kicks!

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FATGRAMS61 10/14/2011 9:16AM

    Oh girls ya made me laugh! You sound like me worrying over something totally asinine! I dare say the guy could care less about your jiggles and has probably seen far worse than yours! But, I'm right there in the worry league with you. Better you jiggle in front of some young thing than me.... don't ask me to take your place...not interested...lol!

You'll do fine and the new shoes will fit right and you'll be off and running in no time. Go and get it over with! ;)

You'll do emoticon

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BAZOOKABOBCAT 10/14/2011 8:50AM

    I am 100% with you. I have a hard time buying weights, supplements, athletic clothing, or going to the gym. And I am absoLUTEly letting my feelings of inadequacy keep me from joining CrossFit.


You love running! It makes you so happy! The rest of your body should love it too!

Get to that store and shake that sexy bum and get yourself some shoes you LOVE!

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 10/14/2011 3:41AM

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MAESTRACH 10/13/2011 11:29PM

    You can do it! They're trained professionals. Think of them as shoe doctors if that helps. Being embarrassed at running for them would be like going to the spa to get a full body massage and being so embarrassed that you wear your jeans and t-shirt on the table. They're there to make sure you have everything you need to succeed.

Hang in there and keep up the awesome work with the running.

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BIG_BEAR73 10/13/2011 10:32PM

    ha ha ha, shake it gurl! its gonna be on a website without you knowing, LOL j/k

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MONKEYMOM19 10/13/2011 9:46PM

    I have been doing Zumba at the gym and for the first time today I didn't care what the other people thought. I just did my thing!!! If you enjoy running don't worry about what those skinny little things are thinking because you are making life changes and that is the most important thing for you and your family. I wish I had the motivation you have because you may not realize it but I feed off of you and your blogs. Thank you for your blogs cause I need all the motivation I can get. emoticon emoticon

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SUSUSUZZZIE 10/13/2011 8:42PM

    I just got fitted and put through all of those paces on Tuesday and it was a great experience. When I told them how many miles I mostly walk/some run per week they said it was more than a lot of people.

I was there during the week and it was pretty slow in the store so that helped. I told DH that I would have been really uncomfortable if the store had been busy, like I suspect on a weekend.

There were lots of physically fit-looking people coming and going and I weighed a lot more than any of them, but it still was a good experience!

Maybe you can do it during the week or call to find out a less busy time? And do it! You'll love your new shoes.

And by the way a 35 min. 5k sounds super fast to me! I think you are doing awesome!

I hope you can look forward to the experience and the new shoes! And Happy Birthday!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYSLIM2 10/13/2011 7:12PM

    Hi Cathy - Ya know, what comes to my mind is that it's kind of like buying your monthly feminine supplies from some young guy at the checkout... slightly embarrassing,
but you just do it and then it's over and they probably don't even care or notice to begin with because they are just scanning away to get you through as quick as they can!
The running store guys (or it could be a girl, you never know!)will be so focused on the way your foot hits the ground and the way your legs pronate (or whatever), etc, etc, they won't even be thinking about any jiggling that MIGHT happen!
So let the professionals see you from behind without another thought!
What an amazing and loving gift from your sis!
You, my dear, are a RUNNER! Now that is cool!! YAY for you!!

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NETTIEDEE 10/13/2011 7:09PM

    Consider yourself reminded! :-)


Comment edited on: 10/13/2011 7:11:03 PM

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Stopped being horrified; stopped sparking

Monday, October 10, 2011

For the longest time, I had a mental image of myself as being a little chubby, but as having a certain height-to-width ratio that wasn't what I considered fat. After a few horrible photos and the constant evidence of a mirror showed me that I was much bigger than I wanted to believe, I began feeling very unhappy in my own skin, continually thinking about how awful I looked.

Oddly, I don't think less of my friends or value my family less when they're overweight, so I don't think disgust with myself was a proper response. I've learned a lot about not letting weight affect my self-love any more than it affects how I love others. But my horror was useful in that it motivated me to stick with my calorie limits and track everything.

I lost about 25 pounds and seemed well on my way. I had to buy new clothes that weren't falling off me and realized one day that I looked like my earlier mental image of myself. I'm not what I consider the f-word (fat) anymore. A guy actually hit on me. I can't exaggerate my astonishment at actually attracting a member of the opposite sex.

It's awesome that I was feeling better, but just like that, my motivation to restrain my eating disappeared. I kept running because I'm addicted now, but I stop tracking calories and immediately put my weight loss engine into neutral. I ran my first 5K since high school, but I haven't lost weight in a month.

I'm still not horrified by my weight anymore, but I don't want to just be not-that-fat. I want to look great. I want to feel fantastic for having met my goals. When I go on a medical mission to Ecuador in February and see friends in Quito for the first time in 13 years, I don't want to be 40 pounds heavier than the me they remember.

After all, I'm 13 years more practiced at picking flattering clothes and putting on makeup. Back then I dressed based entirely on comfort, had a terrible haircut, and hadn't figured out what to do about facial hair. I think I could look BETTER than they remember.

I've lost sight of my initial goal of looking and feeling my BEST, and I'm going to spend this week re-focusing the binoculars on the finish line. I'll be digging through old photos to make a fresh montage, finding pictures of great bodies to emulate, and setting some new running goals. I'll stop kidding myself about moderation and eliminate my worst two saboteurs: coffee and wine.

Yesterday went great--I met my calorie goals even though I got bored and hungry after reaching my limit. Today is going to be great, too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PJH2028 2/5/2012 3:44AM

    Gosh. I just love your self-honesty and your spirit and your DESIRE for more. You can do this. And in your voice I felt my self, too. I've come so far. Not-so-fat-anymore, ain't what I set out to do. I want more. And... can make it so. Keep on keeping on.

Thank you for inspiring me today.
Warm happy wishes. Paula

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MRS-BLOBBY 10/13/2011 8:33PM

    You've done so well to get as far as you have- and we all back slide a little once in a while, so don't beat yourself up too much... but remember... we're all keeping an eye on you, so no slacking either! Haha.

I like the idea of a new photo montage. I was looking at the women I passed in the street today, & their different styles, & thinking that it's time I tidied mine up a bit. Think I might buy myself some red lipstick- did you know that women who wear red lippy earn more??? Strange but true! Have fun with your make-over.


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MEWHENRYSMAMA 10/13/2011 12:29AM


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KCATHY 10/11/2011 4:54PM

    Silly--I can't think why you would have guessed that I was coasting, especially with me posting about enjoying running. Also, it's the kind of thing that I could only really decide for myself, so you might have made me feel guilty instead of productive with your encouragement. Thank you for caring, but no worries!

I love coffee, but I doctor it to death with a couple hundred calories worth of cream and sugar, so two cups in a day is a whole meal worth of calories I can't spend on a chicken sandwich. It just leads to me not having enough calories to enjoy my evening meal, which leads to me cheating because that's my hardest time of day. ;-)

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HEALTHYSLIM2 10/11/2011 4:40PM

    "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."
That may sound trite, but you know it's true!
Congratulations on "catching yourslf" just being OKAY, and now settling. In your heart, you know what you're capable of, and also what you're goaling for. So just remember:
I was wondering why things were so quiet from your corner... maybe I shoulda poked yuo a bit more? Sorry if I wasn't a good friend in that regard. Let me know what works for you in case there's anext time you seem to be a little "absent".

Take care. Enjoy the running and healthy eating. And by the way - I drink coffee too and I do find it makes it a tad harder to drink all my water sometimes!... is it lattes or something that are your challenge? There are some yummy lower cal latte versions out there...

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FATGRAMS61 10/11/2011 1:16PM

    Wow, you've had so many responses that you hardly need my opinion, but, I have to tell you that you really, really inspired me today. I reached my cruise weight goal last week and all of a sudden I guess I thought I could relax a little and BANG! I could just feel the weight coming back because I was not making myself accountable to me! Now, I have to weigh tomorrow and I'm sure it's going to tell on me, but after reading your blog, I'm going to get with it for the next two weeks! I like me and I like me when I feel and look good. Of course we love to look good for those around us we love too just because they love us unconditionally anyway! When I know I've accomplished weight loss and my loved ones notice, I feel like I've given them something valuable. You keep it up! emoticon

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BAZOOKABOBCAT 10/11/2011 8:48AM

    I am in this boat with you. I realized last night that I had reached my goal a few months ago and then just kind of............relaxed. I still work out hard but haven't been in control of what I eat.

That has to change.

I am SO glad I'm not alone in this situation. Thank you SO much for sharing this!!

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JENIYE707 10/10/2011 9:57PM

    I have not been focusing on myself latley. Ive been about everybody else but me and i now i need to get back on track with me and focusuing on me. I love this blog, you are very inspiritiona. Keep up the good work and keep sparking. WHich i need to do more.

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SHERYL_B 10/10/2011 9:01PM

    I've not focused as much on what I am putting into my mouth either. I am trying to refocus on that too.

Good for you on keeping your goals in front of you!

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    You can do it! I know you still have the spark in you. Its great that you kept with theezercisr and that you found one you love so much. It will make the eating part easier to hop back on the wagon! Stay strong!

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LANEY_AIDEN 10/10/2011 4:46PM


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ME_HERE_NOW 10/10/2011 1:50PM

    hey gal, funny how accomplishment can kinda free us up to allow more into our eating world - my feeling good led me to eating more and i am about 14 lbs up from where i was resting - ugh! all we can do is gather our spark fires and get em blazing again, like you i kept working out - for i am addicted - but i was eating too much for it to make a dent. we will fight our way back to our optimals, i have no doubt of it. keep rockin those runs gal and i will be getting my eating in line with ya!!

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MARIO432 10/10/2011 1:24PM

    Keep on Sparking. You can do it!

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WALKINGBYFAITH2 10/10/2011 11:07AM

    I so understand exactly where you are in this journey. I went from being disciplined in getting my exercise in on 5-6 days a week, to it's alright if I fit something in 3-4 days. I stopped tracking my food because it just felt too difficult with my schedule, eating out, and trying to figure out the values of complex recipes. I joined a challenge with the hopes that it would get me back on track, and it has helped, but I am still not as disciplined as I was before. And the scale shows it.

I am so happy that you have stayed with the running. And I know that we can both get back on track. We did it before, and both of us were successful in losing weight and feeling better about ourselves. I will join you this week in trying to get focused on the goal of living healthier and feeling great (not just good) about myself. I want to look great too. So let's do this together. We CAN do it! I'm going to go look in the fridge for something healthy to eat now... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon (That is you running and me walking). We can do this!!

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REDHEADMOM2U 10/10/2011 10:42AM

    Today IS going to be great...part of this is keeping going even when the initial burst of enthusiasm is over...and you are doing it! Way to go!!!

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4ANEWME2DAY 10/10/2011 10:36AM

    I thought I was reading about me minus the facial hair. emoticon I'm right there with you in spirit to re-focus on my goals. I don't know what happened to be since last year and now. I was feeling great about myself, lost weight and my DH said I lost weight. Now I'm 20 pounds overweight again and I lost that sparking feeling. Every day I tell myself I'm back on track then something (which I'm still trying to figure out) trips a fuse in my brain and the eating monster rears its ugly head. You must excuse my excessive rant. I feel much better. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Time to face my addiction (to running)

Friday, September 30, 2011

I've been in denial about being addicted to something I used to hate, but a few thoughts that have skittered through my mind lately have finally led me to admit I have a problem.

"Should I feel worried that I wanted to throw up after running? I'd hate to have to tone it down just so I don't throw up afterward."

"Thank goodness it's lunch time so I can go run."

"I've already gone two and a half miles, and it's only 6:30 am. I might as well just do a 5K."

"I don't want to read my book while I run today; it will distract me from how good this feels."

"If I lose more weight, it will be easier for me to run."

"Maybe I should cut all my hair off so I don't have to worry about fixing it after I run on my lunch break."

"I wish I didn't have to stop yet."

Edited to add: Thanks for being concerned, those of you who took this seriously. I have only been doing between 11- and 13-minute miles, which is not very fast. I'm on a cushioned treadmill and have done a couple of tests to be sure I have no pronation issues. Heck, I barely even get sore on my longest runs, and have never run longer than 30 minutes at a time or even combo walked/run for more than an hour. The one time I started hurting more the longer I went, I stopped far short of my usual daily amount so I'd be sure I hadn't injured myself. I've gotten queasy twice, both times after a 5K distance, but the nausea passed quickly, and I think it was just a result of not taking time to cool down properly before taking a cool shower. I generally do 6 - 10 miles in a week, and always take at least one (but often two) full days off each week.

Heck, I even took this quiz: www.sparkpeople.com/resource/assessm
It told me "You have a healthy relationship with exercise."

This was tongue in cheek. I'm loving running, and didn't realize that it might seem like I was being serious until after your comments got me to re-read it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATHRINE2010 10/21/2011 4:41PM

    I love to run! It makes my life so much easier and my stress level lower! So don't be afraid to go farther and don't be scared to think about it! I think about going farther, going faster and just doing it. This is my fun. Go embrace yours. emoticon

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FELKINS 10/2/2011 5:44PM

    Funny, just last week at the gym with my sister, we were discussing that some people get addicted to exercise. I was saying (also tongue in check) that exercise would be a good choice to get addicted to.

Then, she mentioned that some people are addicted to cleaning. Also a good choice, if we get to choose our addictions.

Keep up the great work on your exercise!

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MAESTRACH 10/1/2011 12:04PM

    LOL!!! And I was running! Keep it up.

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MISSLISA1973 10/1/2011 12:54AM


I love Tonic's Kool-Aid comment... emoticon

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SHERYL_B 9/30/2011 10:55PM


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REDHEADMOM2U 9/30/2011 10:41PM

    Run, run, run!

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IGSBETH 9/30/2011 9:52PM


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NETTIEDEE 9/30/2011 7:33PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ME_HERE_NOW 9/30/2011 5:35PM

    keep enjoying those runs :)

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AGRLNKY 9/30/2011 5:15PM

    LOL I think this is a positive thing!

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SUSUSUZZZIE 9/30/2011 5:08PM

    I think I've seen similar in other people's posts. I sure am liking the feeling after (A LOT) but addicted or obsessed yet? - NO! :) But then again, I'm not really running a lot yet.

Remember - Everything in moderation! Don't overdo it which could cause injury.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUGGLER63 9/30/2011 4:36PM

    I don't know about addicted, but a little obsessed maybe? The statement about not wanting to tone down the running despite feeling like you're going to throw up concerns me. I'd talk to a personal trainer (Nicole?) about it. And if you are joking about the whole thing...then congrats! You enjoy exercise!

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KLICKM 9/30/2011 4:20PM

    Well....it could be worse for sure!! Keep running!!

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 9/30/2011 4:19PM


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BLUEROSE73 9/30/2011 4:12PM

    lol. that's great.

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    Better find yourself a program lol. Glad to hear that you are enjoying your running routine. It is so awesome when we find things that become addicted that are actually good for us! WAY TO GO!

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TONIC588 9/30/2011 4:04PM

    You totally drank the cool-aid.

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MEADSBAY 9/30/2011 3:46PM

    You got it good, girlfriend.

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BEACHGIRL76 9/30/2011 3:19PM

    Haha! Sounds like addiction to me! Thank God it's totally positive and excellent for you! You go!! :)

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The value of a calorie, measured in sweat

Monday, September 19, 2011

When I'm trying to convince myself not to have fries with that, 500 calories doesn't seem like that big a deal. When I'm on the treadmill, though, I can spend an hour working hard enough that getting sweat all over my surroundings becomes an actual problem, just to burn just 300.

It never ceases to amaze me how much work it takes to get rid of the number of calories that only take two minutes to consume. I know there are many benefits to exercise, but I honestly think the biggest one for me is that I'm learning the value of a calorie.

It's just so much easier not to put the food in my mouth in the first place. So why can it be harder to say, "No, thanks, just the sandwich," than to jog for 45 minutes?

Oh, well. If it were easy, everyone would get healthy and stay that way. I'm just going to have to be tougher than most, and I have some experience with that. Heh.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUGGLER63 9/30/2011 4:41PM

    Boy, I needed that reminder today! I was really wanting something that I could munch on as I drove home from the grocery store...a 5 minute drive! I convinced myself that I could wait 5 minutes to eat, and I ate better (altho that Dove bar looked so tantalizing!) What I realized that I waited too long to eat and the cravings for carbs hit me big time. When I am going learn this?!

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SHELLYBABE2 9/28/2011 11:16AM

    emoticon Really makes you think, wish I'd read it before I just got a snack though lol!

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FATGRAMS61 9/20/2011 10:29PM

    I enjoyed reading your blog today. I always am amazed how easy it is to eat something we know we shouldn't and how hard it is to make up for it...just not fair, but, true!!!

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BEACHGIRL76 9/20/2011 12:11PM

    Very good point girl! I'm just starting to count calories so this couldn't have came at a better time! Thanks:)

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MARIO432 9/19/2011 10:57PM

    Yes it would be easier in the end - as I sit on my recumbent bike. Usually it takes me 10 mins. to wear off 35 - 40 calories. So that means if I eat something really yummy I could be riding it all day :)

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_JODI404 9/19/2011 9:08PM

    Very true! It does make me want to eat healthier after a hard workout, I'm just not willing to "un-do" all that effort!

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SHERYL_B 9/19/2011 8:22PM

    So true!!!!!!

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CARYA52 9/19/2011 6:53PM

    Too bad it's not the same part of the brain. That the part that says "mmmm, chocolate ice cream!" isn't the same part that will be dying as you are on the treadmill. Unfair, I agree!

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ME_HERE_NOW 9/19/2011 4:34PM

    perspective is an amazing thing, keep enjoying those fitness minutes and occasional treats, overall you are doing an amaaaaazing job sparking your life! :D

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ME_FIRST 9/19/2011 4:20PM

the fries are just another money making part of the fast food industry, just like biggie sizing it. Even if you order a salad, they ask if you want fries with that. Why the Heck would I want fries with a salad? The servers are required to ask that question to every customer no matter what. The powers that be at in the fast food industry laugh on their way to the bank because most people have trouble saying no. Don't let them do it to you.

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KLICKM 9/19/2011 4:16PM

    I wish I had thought of this exact fact yesterday while eating 4 servings of candy coated nuts.....that set me back 600 calories. Sometimes food is just SO hard to walk away from, but never really feels like it's worth it afterwards....I need to remember that lesson. Thanks for the reminder!

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_O2BHEALTHY_ 9/19/2011 4:14PM

    such a simple concept but it takes a while for it to truly sink in. great blog!! emoticon

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    How true this is. I always wonder if its worth it but never thought about how long it would actually take me to burn off. Thanks for another fresh perspective!

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IRISHBEANERGAL 9/19/2011 12:44PM

    I can relate to this.. .pre-spark I would exercise just enough to cover the calories so I wouldn't "fall off the wagon"... what kind of messed up thinking is THAT???

Now, I just exercise because I LIKE IT and what it can do for me. I love my new mindshift.

Keep up the great work!


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HEALTHYSLIM2 9/19/2011 12:43PM

    Loved this blog!!
You know, it is so funny that sometimes we (I) know, and STILL we (I) eat the french fries! Then, later that day, spend time basically just doing an hour long "swap".
Makes no sense!
Ah well, if I were locigal, I'd still fit in all my clothes!
I am seeing that God may have something else for me in this journey othen than just getting healthy and losing weight. In spite of the struggle, I am really enjoying the community and all I am learning!!
Have a great week...

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IGSBETH 9/19/2011 12:33PM

    I agree with you completely!

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SWEETBEETL 9/19/2011 11:53AM

    I can't tell the forest from the trees most days and you sure have a way of encompassing the facts and bringing it to the nitty gritty for me:) I appreciate it. emoticon

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TONIC588 9/19/2011 11:45AM

    That is so true. Once you start looking at food that way, aka in the time it takes to work it off, it because a little easier to not overeat as much.

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MEMEME75 9/19/2011 11:21AM

    Absolutely true. Knowing how hard I work to bring the calories makes me think twice about what I am consuming. emoticon

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 9/19/2011 11:12AM

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MEADSBAY 9/19/2011 11:07AM

    You are wickit smaaaaaaaaahrt, as we say in RI!

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BAZOOKABOBCAT 9/19/2011 11:03AM

    Truer words have not been spoken. I hate to let my hard work go to waste on something I know I don't even enjoy that much.

If I'm going to eat a whole mess of calories, it'll be for something special.

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Little shortcuts have gotten me off course

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

My company teaches car manufacturers to install express service operations in their existing automotive service departments.

It's more interesting than it sounds, I swear.

Anyway, one thing my boss hammers into new consultants is how important it is not to let the express techs take tiny shortcuts, like neglecting to check the wipers every time or not putting the oil cap on the hood latch. Little things, but not checking the wipers means missing a chance to sell wipers and keep the customer safer in unexpected rain. Putting the oil cap on the latch means no customer drives off without the oil cap in place (because it's impossible to close the hood until the tech remembers to put it back).

More importantly, he says that small shortcuts tend to accumulate until the whole process is fouled up and has to be taught from scratch.

That is what has happened to my weight loss in the last two weeks. When I began, I had figured out what worked for me. Some key ingredients were cutting out coffee and alcohol. Also, no matter how "wrong" it is, I do better if I eat two or three hundred calories through the day and have a hugely satisfying dinner and late-night snack. I also figured out that running 3.5 miles on Sunday and 1.5 every day all week was energizing and do-able.

Once I had those items in place, it became easy to stick to my calorie limits and exercise goals. I was losing steadily, at 1-2 pounds a week. Perfect.

Then, I noticed that if I had lots of extra calories at the end of the day, drinking a couple of glasses of wine was a nice way to relax before bed. No biggie. But it left me slow the next morning. So I started having more coffee.

At first this was very rare, and the fact that I continued to succeed with my goals made me think it wasn't a big deal to occasionally splurge while staying within my limits.

Pretty soon a full third of my daily calories was from liquids, which left me more hungry. Which led to having a bigger breakfast and made it hard to enjoy a good dinner without going over my limits. Then my kids' dad had to work three Sundays this month and I lost all kinds of miles as a result, even though I could make up some of it on Mondays.

Before I knew it, I was failing to meet my calorie limit about as many days as I was succeeding. I'm also fell back into the upper/downer cycle of coffee/wine. That makes it harder to drink my water because I have a cup of coffee on my desk instead of a bottle of water. Some of this is situational, but most of it is just that I started making tiny cheats that snowballed into massive problems.

Half the time, if I feel like I've blown it, I just don't track my calories toward the end of the day. I've stopped drinking enough water. I'm still not quite crashing and burning, which is nice because I don't have ground to make up. But I do need to get back on the road quickly, before I lose sight of the goal and take off at a right angle to the track, into the wilderness of failure and self-loathing and eating an entire box of Little Debbies on the weekend.

I veered from the formula that was working, and it's gotten to be a habit.

So. This morning I'm having coffee. But tonight I won't have more than 5 ounces of wine--a soothing treat instead of a sleep aid. The morning after that, no more coffee except on Sunday mornings with my sister.

I know how to do this. I just have to shake off the bad habits and start checking every windshield wiper and putting the oil cap on the hood latch every time. Before it starts taking me 45 minutes to do a 30-minute oil change or I accidentally forget to put oil in the car after the filter is changed.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHELLYBABE2 9/28/2011 11:20AM

    You've put down in blog so eloquently what is happening on my journey. TFS Great blog! & time I got back to tracking my food as I'm letting too many bad habits creep in.

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MARIO432 9/16/2011 12:00AM

    So true. We get too comfortable & that's when we slack off. There have been a few times (what am I saying, most times) that we've gone out for a meal, I know I'll be way over my calorie count & I really don't want to track the calories. But I do & for the next few days I'll watch very close. I know, we all know what to do, it's just to do it. Hopefully we'll realize it before we gain to much of the weight back.

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-LINDA_S 9/14/2011 8:19PM

    I think something similar is happening to me. If I can make it through this coming weekend at the beach, I'll feel like I've accomplished something. It's amazing how quickly we can slip out of control. I'm sure you'll get it together.

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MNMS_MOMMY 9/10/2011 7:40AM

    Great thoughts! Thanks so much for the reminder - little things DEFINITELY add up!!!

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FLYCHRISTI 9/9/2011 11:52PM

    You are in my mind, I think!!!!!!Please, read my blog (it s a little poor in comparison with yours, but it is because I write in english and not in my language), and you will see that you are not alone in the planet of BAD HABITS.
I found me too that the key to all this project is to stay ALWAYS ON TRACK and stop finding excuses.
I read your blog right after I posted mine. Is it a coincidence???I prefer to think that is a message for me to keeping me on the right side.
Have a good day and thanks.
emoticon emoticon

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    Great blog on a timely topic! As the kids head back to school, schedules get even more hectic, and the season begins to change (at least here it does), it is easy to get off track. I know that I have been struggling for about three weeks now. Keep up the good work! We can do this!!!

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MARY emoticon

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CARYA52 9/8/2011 2:04PM

    Another great blog. That IS your picture at the end, isn't it? :-) It's interesting how I have been meditating about how lately I too will just quit logging what I eat at the end of the day. Two things have come from that--one, I go back the next day and write it down, and two, I'm trying not to eat anything at night (my bad time of day) unless I have planned it first and know exactly how it fits in with everything else.
One good thing about this program is that it forces us to pay such close attention that, as someone else commented, we can correct ourselves before we veer too far off course--like you are doing. emoticon

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ME_HERE_NOW 9/8/2011 1:57PM

    the important part is you are observing NOW instead of 20 lbs gained from now, and are ready to move fwd - a beautiful thing! i too am in the process of buckling down, we are all in this together :D

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HARVESTMOM 9/8/2011 10:44AM

    the wine is such a big thing for me too! over the summer my hubby and i got into having a couple of (large) glasses a wine a night just to unwind and heck - we deserve to unwind!
however, it stopped me in my tracks - i had trouble sleeping and would have too much coffee, i'd be kinda tired so i wouldn't run, - i was in a funk ...so glad i'm not the only one!
thanks for the reminder that it's the little things that count when working towards our goals!

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MONKEYMOM19 9/8/2011 9:54AM

    You are an amazing woman! You can do it and at the same time you help all of us that are falling off the wagon just by taking time to write you wonderful thought provoking blogs. Thank you so much. Once again I am motivated to succeed! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOM2NATURE 9/7/2011 10:10PM

    Simply RECOGNIZING the problem is the biggest problem I have. Once you know what it is.....It's easy to face the Enemy!


You've GOT this one! JUST DO IT!


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SHERYL_B 9/7/2011 7:26PM

    Love this!!!

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MARGIEH0104 9/7/2011 4:53PM

    The wine drinking is also an issue for me too...even when I count the points for it, it still slows my weight loss. Going without is the best way for me...but so difficult. I really do need to stop and correct this little thing before it entirely takes over !
Thank you for the reminder...like you said also, having the wine as a beverage allows me to cut back on the best beverage...water!

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PROUDLILMOM 9/7/2011 2:36PM

    I can relate to this and was glad to see that someone else goes through the same things that I do. Here's to getting back to a healthy lifestyle.

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    If it was easy - we all would be healthy! It's not easy - but it is doable. It's easy to eat what we want and do what we want. But it's not as satisfying in the long run.

I find myself remembering that if it doesn't feel "normal" it's probably a change which is a good thing and something I need to do. If it starts to feel normal again (or at least familiar) then I need to look at it and decide if it's ok.

I'm worth the work - and I'm worth the conscious effort. So I do it. You are worth it too (and you know it - hence the changes).

Love the car maintenance analogy... rev your engine and jump back in!


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ARGYLE-RUNNER 9/7/2011 12:47PM

    emoticon blog!

emoticon emoticonthis cycle I can relate to :)

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HEALTHYSLIM2 9/7/2011 12:25PM

    This was a GREAT blog! You know how to do this, and will succeed!!
Go forward boldly, never doubting your ability to get back on track. In life (not just weight loss and fitness), it is always about the executing on the small things anyway. Just like your boss says... Put the oil cap on the hood latch and check those wiper blades!


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    I can really relate to this. Thanks for letting me see I am not the only one who falls into this way of thinking and for giving me the realization that I need to get my butt back in gear! Best of luck getting back on track and thanks for sharing your struggle. emoticon

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CLPURNELL 9/7/2011 12:15PM

    You will get back on track in no time!


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ELLSKI85 9/7/2011 12:12PM

    Way to go for being so aware. I was doing the same kind of things, like thinking: well I burned more calories than I planned to today so I'm going to eat over a bit from my range and it'll be fine. Before I knew it I was always over and rarely burning any calories.

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TONIC588 9/7/2011 12:01PM

    I am right there with you. I don't drink coffee anymore. Not since July, Yet this past weekend I had large iced coffees with a shot of chocolate left and right. It made getting up on Tuesday, horrible. Not to mention being dehydrated all weekend because I wasn't getting my water in. I can have one, on the weekends but not 2-3 Saturday then another 2-3 Sunday.

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KLICKM 9/7/2011 11:55AM

    SO TRUE!! I have found myself starting to make my excuses why I can't exercise the past week. And now I'm letting those same excuses creep right in to this week. Not good! I know I feel so much better when I have regular exercise. So it sounds like we both need to buck up and do what we know is right. Thanks for saying exactly how I was feeling....again! You Rock!

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IGSBETH 9/7/2011 11:31AM

    This is a great blog! Good for you for figuring out what you were doing wrong!

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    I totally applaud you and hope that inside you are too. You are facing.the challenges of this journey head on. You see what works and have experiences that don't work and rather than give up (even though there is that little voice I like to call the PAST ) you are taking note of what is wrong and how you can make things work for you!

I know that the day will come that we both make our goal and continue to learn to maintain!

Your so welcome for the high five! You deserve it!

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FATGRAMS61 9/7/2011 11:14AM

    Well, it sure sounds like you were talking about me this week! How did you know...lol! I'm back on track today as well. It is amazing how we think we can do or not do the little things a they don't matter. But they do in the long run and you're so right. If we continue down that path, we're going to get lost again and get caught in the rain w/o a good wiper!

Hang in there and let's start making better choices so we can do a job well done that we're proud of partner! emoticon

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AMELIASEWS 9/7/2011 11:09AM

    Thanks for this. Realizing I have a bunch of those little things that are starting to add up and if I don't change course there will be problems.

It is a hard time not to veer, but I have to have strength somewhere. Perhaps this is where I should be working on it.

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JMARIES51 9/7/2011 10:56AM

    That is a great analogy. It often isn't the big things that get us off track, but the little ones that add up. Good blog.

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