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KAZINMICH's Recent Blog Entries

It's beginning to look a lot like winter... Everywhere I go...

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

It snowed last night and all day. We only got about 10 inches total, maybe 13 or 14 at the most. Now the snow is up to my knees! I walked around in the snow for a good 20 minutes to get in some exercise - filled the bird feeders in the front and back yard, walked the dog, etc. Then tonight I shoveled snow frantically for 25 minutes! I cannot believe HOW MUCH I accomplished! And I did not hurt my back! I only stopped because I started getting short of breath, and at that perfect moment I saw my husband barreling down the road, knowing he was trying to gain speed to get up our snow filled driveway. He did pretty good, and I made it back up to the house before he got up the full driveway. It really felt good! Then I met with the Avonex nurse that taught me how to self-inject. It was SO EASY! I love this intramuscular shot already! I'm feeling pretty good! The news showed awesome packing snow. Well the snow is heavy, but I'm not sure if it's the greatest for packing. Maybe I can find out after work tomorrow - and build a snow fort! I love building snow forts. Ours came out awesome last year. And maybe a snowman to guard the fort. My husband usually joins me and helps. My daughter will help a bit but always quits real quick once she realizes it's work. lol. I really wish I had cross country skiis. That will be on my list for next winter for sure!

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KAZINMICH 2/3/2011 12:13PM

    Ha! the snow drifts are like that here too!!!! Have to shovel half the snow first (half deep) then a second level to the ground. If I tried to the ground at once, forget it, I wouldn't last more than five minutes! Neither would my back! I'm going to attack the back porch today. :)

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MAMABUGAZ 2/2/2011 11:03PM

    Avonex! You're braver than I am, Kaz. I'm such a needle-weenie. It took me 6 months before I could look at the teeny-tiny sub-Q needle on Betaseron! (I'm on Copxone now.) Can't imagine doin' an IM!

You go girl!

~ Faith

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    I wish we had packing snow...I haven't made a snowman in
years :(

Isn't it great when you start to develop strength and endurance and you can shovel the snow without your back hurting or getting overly tired.

I have snowdrifts in my driveway that are up to my butt...and makes shoveling quite difficult.

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What I am scared of

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

That no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, it will not make a difference. I will still be fat, and look unhealthy. I want my outside to look like my inside! I want to play, have fun, enjoy things, take the stairs, play in the waterfalls of VT. I want to build snowmen, snow forts, and go cross country skiing. I want to fly to somewhere sunny and walk around in a bathing suit. This is the first time I tried changing to all Whole Wheat/Whole grain products, and I track every single thing I eat so i have the reports to print out. I'm trying to add exercise back in, it's hard, but I'm slowly doing it. I know, it's only been a month, and I did lose a lot of weight quickly because of changing my food intake so much. I want to give myself nourishment, I want to not use food for anything emotional. I'm feeling really lost and scared - scared of the what ifs. It would be so much easier if I had someone telling me what I do right, wrong, what to do more of, less of, etc. Just to know what I'm doing is right and will matter. I do the research, read the articles, look up more info, etc. and try my best, but that nagging voice from my past haunts me telling me I will do something wrong, I will never be good enough, try hard enough, and even if I do try hard enough I will still fail. I've overcome those negative thoughts, voices, etc in so many other ways, I never thought I'd have to deal with them when it came to food!

I will look in the mirror and tell myself I will do this, I am doing this, I am doing it right, it will take a long time, but I am making progress. I will look at the positive things I see and focus on them until the rest of me catches up. I will tell myself it's normal to have these feelings come up, and these feelings will go away. I will remind myself of all my successes in life, and I will get through this night, and keep doing this. It's just really dam hard.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMABUGAZ 2/2/2011 11:06AM

    You've already disproved this, with your initial success. "That no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, it will not make a difference. I will still be fat, and look unhealthy."

I don't know if anyone can really tell you if you're doing things "right". I've sometimes heard that the best weight loss program is one that you design yourself. I know that I've kind of done that. I've put together various concepts, and tweaked them to suit me. I would also say, emphatically, that the ONLY weight loss program that will work is the one you DO. You've had some success, so you must be DO-ing something.

There are so-o-o many weight loss diets out there. And, many of them work, for people who follow them, or tweak them, or whatever.

That would be my advice: Keep reading articles, researching, looking up information. You've probably already read some things that make sense to you, and, other things that don't. Choose what you can live with. Follow the good suggestions; and change what you don't like (find a healthy way to make it work for you). Make changes slowly. You don't need to change everything at once.

It sounds like you've already made major changes in your diet. That's probably enough for now. If I try to change too many things at one time, I get overwhelmed and want to throw in the towel. Just sit tight for awhile. Keep the changes you like, "tweak" the changes you don't. But, you've made a lot of changes already. Don't force too many additional new ones on yourself right now.

emoticon emoticon

~ Faith

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TECAVINESS 2/2/2011 12:02AM

    You can do this. If you need some support we are here for you. I have been heavy all my life and for the first time I am 50 pounds lighter and loving it. I still have a way to go, but with Spark Friends I have been able to make it and will continue to lose weight. Hang in there.

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Takin it easy

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

I've taken it easy two days now. I'll do the biggest loser tape again tomorrow, and then figure out how to incorporate upper body workout into the two days after that since my thighs/legs will be sore again. LOL. I don't know how those people on tv do it. I can't even do the workout 2-3 days in a row! I'm still doing well with the food. I'm trying to incorporate some variety. It's been a bit of a challenge at times. Keeping low on sodium, eating healthy carbs. Garlic salt was one of my favorite things to use on/in everything. Garlic isn't quite the same without salt, but I'm noticing changes in things being too salty when I try them now! So eventually, I'll be more used to it.


My Teen, My emotions & Depression without binging?

Monday, January 31, 2011

My 15 (almost 16) yr old daughter calls me up and says she has to make a spanish music video for her spanish class. Then she asks me about what camcorders we have left. I guess she broke the $150 one my sister bought her last year. So when I tell her we really don't have any, she goes off complaining, and yelling. I asked her, this other girl Mandy that's making it with you, her dad does special effects and all that stuff, and he already has all the equipment, why not all do it at her house? She gets mad and hangs up.

I would love to go out and buy a really nice camcorder. I just can't afford to spend the extra money, plus the way she still breaks things, I don't trust her either.. My daughter seems to have no concept of money what-so-ever. The first thing I wanted to do was reach for the candy dish. I can just feel the chocolate or candy being absorbed. I haven't though, and I won't. But this is really testing me. I feel so depressed this very moment. and I'm trying to figure out what else I can do logically to address my depression rather than eating something.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PJC19671 1/31/2011 4:18PM

    My daughter is 20 and does stuff like that to me too. I get away from her, grab my water bottle and go for a walk get away from the house. I spend many hours in the city park on nice days anything to remove myself from the house and the kitchen. I hope things get better for you. emoticon

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MAMABUGAZ 1/31/2011 3:44PM

    Ohhh, this, too, shall pass.

Although my daughter was always responsible, she was extremely difficult to live with during her senior year in high school, especially after she turned 18. She's 21, now, and, I'm amazed at how much "smarter" my husband and I have become in the past 3 years. lol

Not funny when you're in the middle of it, though, I know.

What to do with your mood without binging? Pick and choose (one or more): A bubble bath, a walk, your favorite CD, light candles, read a book, put a good movie on, maybe even give yourself permission for a small treat (not a binge) -- ie: a cup of flavored tea and one piece of dark chocolate.

~ Faith

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CAROLINAMUSED 1/31/2011 3:35PM

    You know that reaction was her teen-ness. It's sure not something you're doing wrong. She just needs to get over herself, and fast - but having both been a teen and the parent of one, I know it's not going to happen real soon. What's the alternative? You, thinking about how her reaction is not a realistic appraisal of your parenting skills. When my daughter was a teen we had NO money (I was a single parent) and the word very often heard was: NO. No, you cannot have designer jeans. No, we cannot afford it. This is a reality, and your daughter (and my own) needs a reality check. Feeling bad about it is just allowing the guilt game to be played out.


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Feeling better about choices & taste buds changing

Monday, January 31, 2011

I feel better that I am making better choices of food when we go out. I decided that I am going to eat salad - with a small amount of sirloin or chicken on it! ha! I request the salad dressing on the side. Yesterday they did not do that, so I'm not sure how much dressing I ate, so I estimated 4TBSP, which I'm sure is very generous, but better safe than sorry. I'm weighing in tomorrow. My hubby is still excited. He has a gym and showers at WORK.. NO FAIR!!! he says it works out well cuz I get paid more than him, so he needs some perks.. well.. i guess. I'm going to keep doing the biggers loser sculpt tape until I buy the dvds from walmart. I was excited that they were easier moves (except the modified pushup lunge thingy), and it was doable, and I felt my muscles responding, and I didn't injure myself. I did get some neck spasms yesterday along with a sudden horrible headache. Hopefully someday... I'm just feeling more content though, knowing I'm doing something. I can't wait until other people can tell i'm losing weight and not just my hubby/me. I did go out and buy some more new panties to celebrate another 2 lbs gone. lol. I had a free $10 coupon at Avenue, and the four pairs were $12. And it's encouraging, because I bought the size lower and they fit. I am noticing my pants are baggier for the most part. I will weigh and measure tomorrow and see.

I really hope this time I'm doing it right. I will hate it if six months later not much has changed no matter what I do . I'm going to print everything for my doctor and get her recommendation too. I have my next appointment in March, another one in April, and I want both appts for the two doctors to say, you are down "##" pounds, good job. lol

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TBID227 1/31/2011 3:01PM

    Hang in there! After eating healthy for over a year, your taste buds DO change. Thank goodness. For example, in my morning smoothie, I used to have to put truvia in it for it to be sweet enough. Now, no added sweetners. Also, I have cut back from 1/2 cup of fruit juice (100%) to 1/4 cup. I would probably eliminate it now, but the smoothie needs the liquid! I also find myself getting my sweet tooth satisfied with fruit instead of candy. So, hang in there, things will change!

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