Monday, October 03, 2011
So I need to really set some ground rules at home again. I'm looking at the container my hubby packed me last night for lunch today. I ate half of it and I'm stuffed, so I'm looking at the other half thinking, wow that's a lot of food he packed. Last night he made my plate for me - which is uncommon. I couldn't eat all of that either - I told him too much, he agreed. Night before he bought chips & dip. I was smart, i got a small bowl of chips and a couple tablespoons of dip - better than my before healthy half bag & bowl of dip - but worse than my healthier (skipping those chips/dips altogether, or only eating five or six chips with dip). Now my hubby does love the sexier new us, and agrees that we are in our "middle" stage of losing weight. We got through the Inital phase (I lost 60, he lost 90) Now we both want to lose another 40. And we will, and I'm going to make sure of it! lol. First I have to get us back to not having certain items in the house.. and doing things like buying the mini versions of snacks if they must be in the house, at the same time the portion control has to be set. And I MUST exercise MORE. I need to dedicate 45-60 minutes to exercise (5-10 to get dressed, 30 min exercise, 5-10 to shower/cool off/change). I have to remind myself THIS is IMPORTANT to me and it's what I WANT. My new rule is goin to be when I get home I am exercising before anything else. I'm going to try that tonight. I'll write later to say how it goes. I also have a roast in the crock pot for tonight's dinner, so it will be about a smaller portion & self control. I already ate enough for lunch!!! Yikes! lol
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I will not lollygag (or procrastinate) any more! I will hold myself accountable, I will track things so I am back on track. NO MORE EXCUSES. I am going to stop wallowing over why I allow certain things to take control, or the bad luck that I've had lately. Enough! I have to look at all the positive happy things in my life. I have so much to look forward to also. I did get some exercise in the past few days, however I didn't log it, and I ate more than I should have a few nights. Well, I am starting at point 1 again. Tracking everything I am eating so I can determine what changes I need to make (again) cuz I picked up a few bad habits from the past that need to go back to the past! I will do this.
Thank you for the friends who have encouraged and stood by me through the past few weeks especially!!! I'm feeling better emotionally, and your messages have really meant a lot.
Friday, September 23, 2011
I am still trying to get this under control and take the time to post my food. It's so difficult! I just don't get on the laptop aside from work because there's always soo much to do. Clean, Cook, errands, etc. I'm trying to make myself take care care of myself better. It's so frustratingly hard. My work also seems to be getting so busy! Plus I'm training someone, so even more work. I still haven't gotten motivated enough to begin exercising again. I see it in my head, my brain, I replay what I want to do, what I could do.. and then end up not doing it. Either I need to go to bed earlier so I can wake up earlier and try to get some exercise in, or I need to figure out how to exercise with a family being home. I'm feeling a little bit better emotionally. I know it will get better, so I need to set some goals, that's my goal for this weekend, is to come up with some short and long term goals, etc that will help encourage me to continue being healthier.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
So, I don't have any friends in Michigan that I hang out with on a regular basis. I only have one or two good friends, and even those friendships aren't regular. I miss having friends, I miss feeling like I have friends. So I got to thinking, am I a good friend? And what does being a good friend mean to me? Do other people feel the same way about what makes a good friend? I know when we have children, we start young teaching them how to be good friends through sharing, through conversations, etc. As an adult I have a hard time. I've made a few friends, then they wanted me to share too much and when I couldn't buy/pay, they were gone (not really a friend, more a mooch?) Then through conversations, I don't know what to talk about? I have a wonderful little family (dog/kid/hubby), I do love my job, home, car. Other than that, I don't have much to talk about? I LOVE to have fun. I love to laugh, be silly, crazy. I love bowling (but I am horrible, if I hit 101 it's a good game lol), puttputt can be fun, cards and board games, PS3 & Wii, stuff like that. I've suggested to other couples, we should (play games/go bowling) and never had anyone that followed up. Everyone is always too busy (including us too). So I don't quite know how to do this as an adult. Work/Church/Other parents aren't viable options. I'm not sure? And I wonder how other people see me when they meet me? Do they think I'm totally insane? Or am I nice and fun? or what? lol. In general I don't care, but I would like to have friends, who I would care. . so I guess I have to start caring more first? ugh.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
I have no clue what to title this blog entry. I realized yesterday, after I threw a fit for not getting my 10cents off per gallon, yelled at a woman for driving without her headlights on, and then broke down crying - because I'm so sick of people not following laws, being safe, etc. and feeling like I'm getting all their tickets and issues they should get.. lol.. that if I don't do something now my depression will spiral outta control (along with my weight and other good things..) So every time I find myself being negative, I am making myself think of two positive things to counteract that negativity. That will help some. I'm going to talk to my hubby tonight too and let him know just how depressed I really am. I'm also looking at where I'm really at, and how much worse life could be for us. I've got a good hubby, beautiful daughter, good home, good vehicles, a bit of emergency savings, and great job. I do need some good friends, I'm going to start a new blog about that and ask for advice. lol. .I guess this blog is just for me to reflect upon when I'm not feeling so close to the yuchy stuff in life.. lool
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