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3 Ways, Pigs, and Throttling Elvis

Sunday, May 04, 2014

Today, I finished the Flying Pig Skyline 3 Way Challenge. Yesterday, I did the Flying Pig 10K and 5K. Today, I did the Flying Pig Half Marathon. If I wasn't so sore, I might give King a good strangulating.

Friday night, as I was trying to get the dogs in bed, I explained what I had on tap this weekend. King did this:

"What," he asked, "Is a 10K, 5K, and half marathon?" So I explained it to him in detail. He did this:

Yes, Elvis laughed at me. So I threatened to bring home another cat.

That's right, he gave me the stink eye.

So, we went to bed. In the morning, I went downtown and walked the 10 K and the 5 K. No running. Conditioning is way down and weight is way high. If I were to try to run much, I would have leg issues and completing the challenge would be in doubt. After the 5 K, I gathered my stuff at the gear check and headed to the car and my troubles began. I parked, as I eventually figured out, in the Fountain Square parking garage. The 5 K finished down along the river. From the gear check to Fountain Square was over a mile and over 100 vertical feet. Once I got to Fountain Square, I couldn't remember which garage I parked in. It took about 20 minutes of wandering around various garages before I came across my car. OF course, when I got home, the dogs wanted to know why I was so late. I said I couldn't remember which garage my car was in and it took a while to find it. Elvis was less than sympathetic.

Again, I threatened him with another cat.

Today, I got up extra early and headed down for the half marathon. I kind of put myself on autopilot driving down, parked, headed to my Pig Pen (I swear it was in Indiana), and hit it.

It was hard not to run. I specifically wore cargo shorts over my running shorts to remind myself I was walking. IF I ran early, I would be boned later. I didn't have any extra matches to be burning early just because everybody else was dancing and running. Finishing was the most important thing.

Somewhere around mile 4, the huge blisters on the bottom of my heels started screaming. I got these things towards the end of the 10 K. I was kind of concerned about how they would affect the half. They stayed quiet until sometime after mile 4.

Mile 6, if I remember right, marked the start of the climb up to Eden Park. At this point, I was somewhere around 15 minutes per mile. This was good. I was looking at crossing mile 10 in the neighborhood of 2 hours 36 minutes. That would get me in with a chip time of 3 hours, 20 minutes, or so. Given the amount of climbing coming up, I knew those numbers wouldn't hold, but didn't expect too much slippage from them. Things were looking good for a respectable time and, most importantly, getting to the finishing straight before the beer hand up people ran out.

Until around mile 8, I was in my own little world. 15 minutes before the start, I put in my headphones and turned on the only appropriate play list for a Cincinnati race: my Raisins, psychodots, and Bears playlist. Saturday, I got through psychodots "Terminal Man" cd, Rob Fetters "Musician" cd, and all of my Bears. Today, I started off with the Raisins "Everything and More" and then "The Raisins". I was in heaven, completely oblivious to the world around me.

Just before mile 8, my sister jumped out of the crowd and gave me a hug. She had dropped my niece off at a fluid stop on the full marathon course and came back to look for me. I think it was last weekend she did a half marathon in Nashville with our older sister. Earlier this year, our older sister broke her knee cap. It wasn't healed yet, but she did the half marathon anyhow. Remember my mamby pamby blisters. If The Ancient One did a half with a broken kneecap, I had no excuse to do anything but finish. My sister followed the course and talked with me until the finishing straight. She caught up with me at the finish and we found a nice grassy area to plop down and hang out. It was sometime after she left to find her car and go pick up my niece, that I remembered where I parked.

Yep, over one mile away and over 100 vertical feet up. I think it took longer to get to the car than it did to do the half. When I got home and hobbled through the door, Elvis greeted me with compassion.

And again, I threatened him with yet another cat.

When I got out of the shower, I found these thieves in the house:

That's Morty on the right. Sometimes, you just can't win...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AEROBISAURUS 5/7/2014 10:41PM

    emoticon Congrats! emoticon emoticon

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STEVEN2GO2 5/4/2014 8:46PM

    Elvis and Morty were a howl!!!! Looks like they did the race, at least they got the medals. CONGRATULATIONS!!! From your summary you really enjoyed the three pigs. Now I hope you can relax for some time!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIV2RIDE 5/4/2014 8:40PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Cat Herding, Braveheart, Nanci Griffith, and Draft Horses

Monday, April 28, 2014

For some time, I've been looking for a sibling of the same species for King. Elvis just doesn't get to hang out with other dogs nearly enough. So, after much internet searching (whenever I stress at work, I pull up Petfinder on my computer and look at dogs), I found a 5 year old black Lab mix with one of the local rescue groups. Saturday, King and I went to check out the pooch. His name is Count Mortimer and he's probably closer to 3 than to 5 years old. King and I adopted him on the spot.

Here's the first picture of him.

This is the second picture of him. As you can see, he's extremely high energy.

He just bounces off the walls.

One thing I have discovered is that trying to get Morty and Elvis to act in unison is a bit like herding cats. Scratch that. Herding cats is easier. On GOBA in 2004 I was given the task of getting 4 preteens to the severe weather shelter in Wooster, Ohio, when a nasty storm hit the campground. THAT was easier than trying to get King and Morty to do what I need them to do.

It's been quite some time since I took 2 large dogs for a walk. Granted, at only 59 lbs, Count Mortimer is a purse dog by my standards, but he knows how to use his weight and he is all muscle. King, at 79 lbs, is actually long and lean. Mort is compact. When we go out for a stroll, if the coonhound wants to stop and smell something stinky and the Count wants to keep going, I get the Braveheart treatment. Irresistible force meets the immovable object and my arms get ripped out of their sockets. Such fun.

When King and I adopted Morty, we got a free bag of some fancy pants dog food. Apparently, it is much richer than what Mort is used to. We spent most of Sunday out in the front yard. The mutts were on tie outs and I was using a pick ax, shovel, rake, and wheel barrow to even out a large, ugly hump in the yard.

King and Morty Eyeing the Neighbor's Cat

Last year, I had to have my sewer line dug up and replaced. I was advised to give it a year to settle before leveling it out. While I was doing this, Sir Poops a Lot discovered that his lead allowed him to wander into my neighbor's yard. While in said neighbor's yard, and before I could get to him, he pooped. A lot. I used to have a Great Dane that clocked in at 120 lbs. HE couldn't poop this much. In fact, I don't think a Clydesdale draft horse could do this much. 3 waste bags it took to clean this up and there was still a fair amount I couldn't get. I ended up singing a Nanci Griffith song under my breath as I was trying to scoop it up. It starts off, "Oh, I wish it would rain". Rain? I'm hoping for a fricking monsoon.

There is something that scares me about the Count. He is not afraid of his own farts. To me, that means he is used to tooting. King rarely does. He has spoiled me. The Count, however.....

In the morning, I'm taking Mortimer to the vet for a checkout. While there, I think I'll have to buy him a bed. I can't get him to sleep in the bed with King and me. Right now, he is snoozing on the floor.

Yes, that is one of my pillows under his head. If he won't come to the bed, then the bed will go to him.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIV2RIDE 4/28/2014 9:34AM

    Adorable! Your descriptions are hilarious, although I would imagine picking up after both of them isn't so hilarious. Enjoy!

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BILL60 4/28/2014 8:22AM

    What a challenge. I also have 2 dogs, but after many training sessions, they're very well behaved. Good luck!!

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The Ooooh Shinies vs. the Ooooh Stinkies

Saturday, April 12, 2014

I've been walking a lot lately. Over 2013, I did very little, my weight sky rocketed, and my fitness plummeted. So, when the weather started to moderate, it was time to walk. You don't go from curled up in a little ball, hiding from the world for nearly a year to running a 5 K, 10 K, or a half marathon overnight. At least, not without injury.

After a few small expeditions, King and I took a 4 mile walk on a Sunday. I couldn't put my finger on it during the walk, but something seemed off. Monday morning, when I got out of bed and felt the beginnings of shin splints, it occurred to me my shoes were a tad on the worn out side. Crap! I had a 10 K scheduled for the next Saturday. I got some new shoes, rested as much as possible over the week, and woke up race day with the last remains of shin pain. No race for me.

I know scheduling a 10 K when you've been following the Jabba the Hut fitness plan for the better part of a year is...how can I put this delicately... moronic. My thought in doing so was that it would spur me to get off my butt and start training. It did. Just not soon enough. Still, I got out, got new shoes, and by the Monday after the aborted race Elvis and I were walking a mile at a time with no pain. The last week, when it has not been raining, we've walked 3 to 5 miles a day. We'll do a mile when I get home from work, 2.5 to 3 miles when we get up, and a mile before I go to work.

All this dog walking has led me to 2 discoveries. First, I'm faster alone than with Poopatroid. This was made clear at the Emerald Miles 5 K in late March. With the hound, I rarely break the 21 minute mile mark. At the Emerald Miles, I finished right around a 14 and a half minute per mile pace with a fastest mile of 13:50. Plus, I did negative splits in a race for the first time ever. My second discovery is that King has a serious case of the Ooooh, Stinkies.

The cat has A.D.D. BIG time. Her's take s the form of the Ooooh, Shinies. No matter what she is doing, if she sees something shiny, she's chasing it. I have seen her get distracted from chasing down a shiny that had distracted her from chasing another shiny which had distracted her from chasing down the shiny that just distracted her. It makes my head hurt.

King also has big time A.D.D. His, however, takes the form of the Ooooh, Stinkies! We'll be walking along and he smells something stinky and on his way to check that out he smells something even stinkier and heads to check that out and gets distracted by yet another stinky. Sheesh Louise, am I the only one in this house that doesn't get distracted by the least little thing? Man....

Another discovery I've made is that Elvis is a faker. Today, we're walking along on a three miler and the dog is walking kind of quick, bouncing, and showing signs of energy. At our turn around is a garbage can. I tossed the 2 very full poop bags in and turned for home. Suddenly, Mr. Energy was tired and could barely lift a paw. The poor puppy...then, he "did his business" for a third time. I filled up the third bag, and turned to go back to the garbage can. Guess who found his second wind? As soon as the bag was deposited and we turned back towards home, the poor tired mutt could barely move once again. About the time I was going to pick him up and carry his 80 lbs carcass home, a jogger with a pretty little white sled dog looking critter went running by. Once again, Elvis was full of energy and straining at the leash. I felt like a couple Iditarod teams were dragging me down the sidewalk. Faker.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIV2RIDE 4/14/2014 10:20AM

    2013 was a rough year for you. I'm glad 2014 is shaping up to be much better and you are getting your butt off the couch. emoticon

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CTICKET 4/12/2014 1:00AM

    I feel for you. When there's no snow up here, I take my dog on 3.5 mile hiking loop a couple times a week. He's usually dragging about 10 feet behind me by the end, all panting and droopy faced. Suddenly he smells a deer and bolts off across the mountainside, his crazy propeller tail the last thing I see as he passes over the horizon. About an hour later he shows up at the back door all indignant that I didn't follow him. Animals...sheesh!

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Here We Go Again....

Friday, March 14, 2014

I am now officially a homeowner, again. The last week in February, after months of dealing with mortgage companies and lawyers and tax consultants, I was able to close on my late father's house.

I've lived here since April. In that time the water heater let go, the sewer line clogged and had to be dug up, and my fuel oil furnace crapped out on a day of sub zero temps. My landlords paid for it. By landlords, I mean my sisters. I had hoped that would be the extent of maintenance issues for a while. The house had other ideas.

About a week after closing, the electrical system started acting like the house was on an ancient Indian burial ground. The lights would go out when I turned on the garbage disposal. The garage door opened and closed on it's own a couple times. The thermostat picked temps like they were numbered balls in a lotto machine...stuff like that.

The ancient Indian burial ground theory was not really that far out to lunch. The word I always heard when I was a kid was that the subdivision was built near or on the site of an old Native American village. We used to find arrowheads in the creek behind our house. This was a definite possibility.

While I was in the process of researching local exorcists, I also called an electrician. The electrician checked things out and discovered a broken electrical line coming into the house. The exorcist was not needed. The local power company sent a guy out and in 20 minutes things were back to normal.

Just in case, though, exorcists are still being researched and a large supply of Holy water is being sought. Can't be too careful, you know....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PLMITCH 3/14/2014 10:03PM

    It's funny when it happens to someone else, but having been through many of these situations spread over many houses, I offer my condolences!

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GETSTRONGRRR 3/14/2014 5:55PM

    You may need to call in a Shaman....and walk up the stairs backwards for a few days!

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LIV2RIDE 3/14/2014 9:16AM

    Congratulations on the "new" home!! Sounds like a lot of gremlins worked out so hopefully it's smooth sailing for a little while.

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The Trouble With Kittens And Pushups

Friday, November 22, 2013

I'm doing a 30 day fitness challenge I came across on Facebook. 100 pushups a day for 30 days. At present, I'm doing 3 sets of 40 pushups per day. Except for this last Wednesday. On Tuesday, I did 4 sets of 40. Wednesday, I only did 1 set of 40. It averaged out.

I can sneak off to an isolated area at work for the occasional set of 40. At home, things get a little more difficult. I typically do my pushups in jammies that have a drawstring at the waist. The drawstring dangles down and entices my little furry bundle of evil. So...while I'm doing my pushups, the cat is underneath me swatting at the drawstrings. I know. I'm surprised that there is enough room betwixt my gelatinous gut and the ground for a sheet of paper to fit, let alone a cat. Sometimes, she "misses" the drawstring and her claws find my gut. I know she laughs then. She's a cat.

From time to time, the dog gets involved. He'll come over and start grabbing my hands and trying to start a wrasslin' match. Either that, or he's trying to get me to fall on the cat. Dog's, though, aren't that devious. I think he just wants to wrassle.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIV2RIDE 11/24/2013 7:23AM

    HA! Gizmo, my cat, has always liked to work out with me. If I'm doing yoga she likes to be under me or right beside me. If I'm doing something with weights she is right there, on the elliptical, right there. I think it's cute to have a workout buddy. Keeps you motivated to at least laugh every day.

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GOODGETNBETR 11/23/2013 12:26PM

    Cute. But way to go doing so many pushups. Those guns are gonna be rockin' when the weather warms again.

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CIPHER1971 11/23/2013 7:13AM

    I have too many cats, and they tend to walk under me then ask for kisses. Still it is encouragement not to collapse.

Have a great day

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PMRUNNER 11/23/2013 5:50AM

    My kids think push ups are a great time time for daddy gym. I usually end up doing a few sets of squats, presses, or othe exercises with them.

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HKARLSSON 11/23/2013 1:03AM

    Ha ha! I go through this every time I practice yoga! Both cats seem intent on making me fall over in proud warrior, and heaven help you if you try to attempt a plank.

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TIMOTHYNOHE 11/22/2013 11:02PM

    And that is why I hate cats. Such a pain in the neck. N'ah'mean?

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DARJR50 11/22/2013 9:05PM

  aren't pets fun. They make you forget what you are doing and make it for fun

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KARAK523 11/22/2013 8:32PM

  Lol my bully sneaks kisses. Next try 30 burpees in 30 days!

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