KAYSEA6   3,691
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Negative thinking

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

is a joy limiter.

All week I have been making excuses for not attending an event this weekend.

I won't have a good time.
I would rather stay home.
The 2 hour trip is going to be tiring.
I am sure I will come up with more excuses.

What has happened to me. When did I become an old foggie? With that attitude, I am sure to have a lousy time.

Not only am I going, but I am going to have a great time. I am going to wear some thing nice and I am going to look good.
I look forward to the drive. Actually, it is a very scenic drive. The first part of the drive, you see orchards and fields of crops. Then you drive along side of the Sacramento River til you get to the freeway. After a 45 min drive on the freeway you come to this spectacular view of the San Francisco skyline and the SF Bay bridge.
I will spend a few hours around people I love.

Wow! I must have been depressed when I was thinking all those depressing excuses.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYYVAUGHN 8/8/2013 7:56AM

    Have a wonderful time with your friends. It's so good to hear from you.

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CANDIK48 8/7/2013 2:06PM

    Deciding to have a good time is half way to having one! I find myself doing the same thing though. Telling myself I'd rather relax at home, I don't have the umph to get all gussied up and make small talk or any other excuse I can think of. But deep down, I know if I don't just "bite the bullet" and go, I'll regret it later. Except of course there are two times I would have rather just stayed at home and washed my hair. Oh well, life just comes with moments like that...

I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time! The drive alone sounds nice!

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To Do Lists

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Our country has an equilibrium problem. Our inner scale of balance is tipped in the wrong direction. We have issues with setting spiritual priorities. Perhaps it is time for all of us to make a soul ‘to do list’ in addition to our everyday ‘to do list’.

We’ve all seen this right?

To Do List:

Pay Bills
Do Laundry
Do Dishes
Wash Car
Wash Dog
Grocery Shop
Make calls for work
Reorganize Garage
And the list goes on…

How about this for a change?

Soul Survival To Do List:

Determine the difference between my Wants and my Needs
Give excess stuff to charity
Help a friend in need
Tell my family I love them
Spend TIME with my family – QUALITY TIME
Hold the one you love
Write love notes
Appreciate every morning that you awaken in safety
Appreciate every evening that you sleep in comfort
Love without reason

--TDL Reader

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOCALGAL 7/10/2012 7:50AM

    emoticon So easy to forget what really is important!! Thanks for a great blog!

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CANDOK1260 6/17/2012 5:53AM

    great list and great idea I just started the 8week challenge too.

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HEALTHYIN2014 6/10/2012 7:59PM

    Wonderful list. Makes you realize what is really important in your life. emoticon

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GAYLE119 6/10/2012 6:01PM

    WoW! thought provocking...Thank you! emoticon

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HOLISTIC5 6/10/2012 4:28PM

    Outstanding !!!! emoticon

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KAYYVAUGHN 6/10/2012 4:02PM

    I love your list. Sometimes our wants get in the way.

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Stumbling Blocks Can Be Deceptive

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Whether you believe you can or can't, you are right.
Whichever you decide, you or providence will provide.

Stumbling blocks come in different sizes, density or appearances. I have the power to make them grow or disappear in a twinkling of an eye.

In the past I have tripped over them, been pinned down by them, or walked right into them. I got banged up a bit or a lot depending how I defined them. I would get up, use it as an excuse to give into momentary pleasure in the form of a binge and not give it another thought. I would keep on going as if nothing ever happened. Sometimes a useful insight briefly appeared but since I did nothing with it, I soon forgot the experience. I was doomed to relive the experience over and over.

In reflection I believe my latest stumbling block was an illusion that I created. It all started with a thought -- poor me. Poor me, I can't do this or I can't do that. After a couple of days of poor me, my tear level started rising and a tear or two would spill over now and then. By this time my emotional pain level was rising. I kept this up and a day or two later recognized I had slipped into a low grade depression. Now my anxiety level was also noticeable. I wanted to get rid of this big cloud of stress which I had created. I had created emotional hunger and I wanted immediate relief. I wanted to eat something. Of course this would not be helpful and I would end up eating more until I was stuffed (I would binge). Food would do nothing for my emotional pain, but I would keep feeding it like if it was a pet. Eventually the pain would recede but I would now be back to eating whenever and whatever I wanted as I still needed comfort.

I could of stopped this process at anytime. The sooner would have been the better.

Because of a very weak heart I am limited in what I can physically do. Because my latest blood test showed I might be going in the direction of being diabetic I really want to lose weight. So when I came face to face with wanting to binge -- I took a stand. I processed my feelings by writing and reading instead of eating.

Stress, anxiety and depression can be very draining. When one is weak to begin with, stress drains what little strength one has. When I would go through this, I attributed that I overdid it and had physically tired myself. I believed there was nothing I could do about it except rest and try to pace myself better. It has been very frusterating because I knew that I was already pacing myself. There was nothing I could do about it except more rest -- I was a victim.

Not any more! I am a survivor and now need to work on being aware of any negative thinking so I can nip it in the bud. I am physically stronger than I thought if I am careful not to waste any of my energy on negative thinking. This experience has been very liberating.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYYVAUGHN 5/30/2012 1:57PM

    Excellent article with so much meaning. You should write professionally.

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KAYTEETOO 5/26/2012 2:26PM

    Wow, this is brilliant. That whole paragraph about feeling sorry for yourself and slipping into depression is so familiar to me. It is emoticon that you have found a way through it.

You're an inspiration! emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/26/2012 2:26:50 PM

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Pity Party For One Cancelled

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Instead today I will be making lemonade and having a fun day.

Yesterday I saw trouble on the horizon -- a big stumbling block heading my way. Ordinarily I would not only made sure it hit me but also pinned me down for awhile. I would revert to insane thinking which would go something like this:

First I would put my negativity glasses on and see nothing but gloom and doom.
Of course, this would bring me great uneasiness and anxiety which would be very painful.
I would need to get rid of this pain immediately. How? I would stuff it down with a lot of sugary delights. This never got rid of the pain but it did dull it and tire me out.

Now that I had abused my body, I would then go on to abuse my spirit.
I would tell myself I was not worthy of anything. More pain, more self abuse and more food.

Then one day I saw that I had gained back those five pounds that I worked so hard to lose.

Yikes, Back to sanityville. I have to eat healthy, I want to live, I can do it. Things would go well for a few weeks until once again I would see trouble on the horizon.

I can't change the past but today is a new day. I can choose to try something different.

Yesterday I managed to avoid getting hit. I had a Virtual Binge Party and learned that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for.

Today I cancelled my Pity Party and am going to climb over the stumbling block and search for my gifts. How exciting.

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IBHLKING 5/25/2012 5:44AM

    Love reading your blogs...very relatable.

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LE7_1234 5/24/2012 11:06PM


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VKULON 5/24/2012 9:38PM

    I love this post because so often I have been there with my "Super Victim" cape on. As a survivor of many things, including domestic violence, I have learned to recharge and see these obstacles as opportunities to prove that I am strong enough not to just get out of their way but to push back, stomp on and walk over over. Sometimes I feel myself slipping, then remind myself of a past victory that God brought me and see the trouble for what it is - nothing!

Congratulations for graduating from VICTIM TO VICTOR!

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ONEKIDSMOM 5/24/2012 7:51PM

    emoticon for climbing over those stumbling blocks! Good for you. And welcome to the Turtles, by the way. Great team! emoticon

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ECOAGE 5/24/2012 5:46PM


You know how to throw a party! Two great parties!

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WORLDSERIES11 5/24/2012 3:09PM

    Cheers to you for having a great attitude!!! Bet that lemonade tastes great!!
emoticon emoticon

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JERZEYFRESH 5/24/2012 2:17PM

    Yay for you! You're making lemonade!! emoticon I know all about those pity parties and I'm so glad you canceled yours.

Cheers to changes, big and small, that help you along the way! emoticon

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PLAYBLUES22 5/24/2012 1:08PM

    Sweetie, your blog is right on time i sat here crying for it seem like the whole world was against me and going to take me down

Thank you, thank you, thank you emoticon

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EICHSWIFE06 5/24/2012 12:41PM

    good for you :) great advice too

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NATHELESS 5/24/2012 12:27PM

    Great advice, Kaysea!


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The Binge

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I want to have a binge party but I do not want the calories.

Party time emoticon emoticon
Chocolates are a must at my binge parties so I will have some emoticon emoticon emoticon
I love emoticonand a emoticon
I will finish my party with an emoticon
It all tasted so good. My party is over and I am happy because in my mind I ate all those goodies and can still feel good about it. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IBHLKING 5/24/2012 5:38AM

    Great way to be creative...since the desire to binge is mainly a mental one, why not satisfy it mentally!

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MEDDYPEDDY 5/24/2012 12:54AM

    Hmm, I might try that!

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JERZGURL_NAN 5/23/2012 10:23PM

    that was INCREDIBLE - WOOHOO - congratulations - how FUN!!!!

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NATHELESS 5/23/2012 9:08PM

    Imaginary binges are the best...!

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