8,500-9,999 SparkPoints
KAURAKITTEN's Recent Blog Entries

Back to dancing :)

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I woke up this morning feeling like there wasn't a care in the world and that I really feel like dancing today. It's been a while since I REALLY felt like dancing. That's kind of sad though because for a year, dancing was how I dealt with depression. I think if I wouldn't have stopped, the last few months would have gone easier. I just really had dancing by myself though.
But last night I made a few friends at a Church mission group. It felt good to talk about how God has really blessed my family this last week. And a lot of the women got to know me and now want to hang out. Some of them said they want to find time to work out and I said to come work out with me because the kids can be in the same room as us and play around while we dance or do whatever. And if we want to be on the equipment, we can put the kids on the racquetball court where theres nothing to hurt them but walls and we can easily hear them.
I really feel like this wall is slowly peeling away from me. I can breathe a little better.
And I think instead of Hustle I'm going to do a Christian Danceton (Dance-a-ton=hip hop cardio dance class). As much as I like Hustle, the music that comes with it can't always be done in a child friendly setting and it's not easy to switch in other music with it. So I'm going to be coming up with a cardio dance to "Push Play- NY2LA". It's an old song but I love it.
And I'm going to start a missional community in my Church where we can get together once a week and do this class. The church provides the rooms and everyone can bring friends if they want. Maybe I can get 2 other people to teach it with me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DONNA5281 9/19/2012 10:47AM

  So, happy that you are going to dance again! I'm also happy that you have made new friends that also want to dace!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
_JODI404 9/18/2012 6:42PM

    I am SO happy for you Kaura!!! Making new friends and getting back to your dancing are going to give you such an awesome lift to your spirit!!!

Glad the sun is shining again! emoticon emoticon

That darkness sucks!

emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
123ELAINE456 9/18/2012 12:27PM

  Sounds like You have some good plans going for You now. You Can Do It. Have Fun. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. Take Care.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENGOJENGO 9/18/2012 11:43AM

  That sounds great!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Anemia and overeating

Monday, September 17, 2012

I hopefully start carrying this week so I should have a paycheck in 3 weeks. BUT for now we're still on a budget. Its my sucky week of the month so all I can think about is food, sleep, and BE QUIET! I'm not mean, I just get headaches. And we're budgeting our meats like crazy right now.
And I know all of this comes from being anemic. How do I know when I'm really really anemic? Yesterday I think I actually begged our roomate for what was leftover of his sandwich because I was starving but didn't want to stand up (I'm lazy but not that desperate to be lazy) and this morning I woke up covered in bruises and feeling like a snowstorm was in my room.
So I think with my paycheck I'm going to start getting serious about this anemia thing. I already take 2 iron pills a day. My shakes don't have a ton of iron in them (which I think is stupid) but they have an additional 22%. And honestly, my obgyn said I only lose about 4-5 tbsps of blood realistically with my period (and that's considered heavy?). So there has to be something causing me to be like this. It's gotten worse since I started losing weight. But I've also gained back some of the weight and it keeps getting worse.
This is my body. I like it a lot. The scale can't be the only reason I take care of myself.
BTW we had a fallout with our roomate the other day but it was a good thing. I was honest with him and Josh, they were honest with me and each other, now things are better. Lee even gave my kids some money for how much work they do around the apartment and for all the times they take out his dog and stuff. Things are really good here.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUE42DOWN 9/18/2012 12:53AM

    That can be really tough because there's so many possible causes of anemia. Does your doctor have any suggestions beyond taking supplemental iron as to why that alone might not be helping enough?

I know there are some vitamins and minerals where lacking one can cause our body to not properly utilize another or to overuse another. Unfortunately I don't know enough about iron and red blood cells to even know what nutritionally might help.

Report Inappropriate Comment
123ELAINE456 9/18/2012 12:30AM

  Being Anemic is nothing to fool around with. Why don't you get a second opinion? I hope you get to feeling better very soon. God Bless You and Family. Have a Wonderful Week. Take Care. I'm glad things are better at the house too.

Comment edited on: 9/18/2012 12:36:19 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOANOFARCTIC 9/17/2012 9:45PM

    Wow - so sorry you haven't been feeling well. It definitely sounds like you do need to take this anemia thing seriously! Good luck :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNA5281 9/17/2012 2:05PM

I'm sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well. Have you seen another Dr. for a second opinion??
I am very happy that everyone talked about their feelings. Isn't it a relief for everyone? That should be one thing off your mind that you don't have to worry about.
Take care,
Your emoticon Donna

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYBULLDOGS 9/17/2012 12:47PM


my sister walks 15,000 steps a day at 63 years old and has lost 105 pounds. she went from a size 24 to a size 10. all her health issues dropped off as the 105 pounds dropped off.

i gave up grain and sugary products and have lost 44 pounds at age 60. i went from a size 18 to a size 10 shorts and medium tops from a 1 or 2x.

we are both still loosing weight until we reach our goal


Report Inappropriate Comment

Potentially awesome news

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

It looks like I'm about to get more exercise than I hoped for. Yesterday I went to the HR department of the post office and pretty much begged for any help I could get to keep my job. Thankfully I met with one of the sweetest women. She gave my number to a guy in the department who hires carriers. He gave me a call back today and apologized that our paperwork had gotten mixed up.
So if this paperwork is approved (my driving record) and I can pass my test I will be a carrier right by my house :) In fact, from what it sounded like, one day a week my house will be on my route.
That means I'm going to be walking. YAY!
In the rain a lot. YAY!
And home just in time for dinner with the kiddos... which is kind of a bummer because I've liked being a stay at home mom. I'm hoping when I talk to them that I can be approved to work part time instead of full time. But at this time I'll take what I can get.
The funny thing is, last nigh I was laying down with Josh in bed just venting. I told him I felt like he just assumed that if it didnt' have to deal with his job, it was my responsibility.
Dinner, my responsibility.
School events, taking kids to school, getting kids from school, my responsibility.
Making sure our house was presentable, not just clean enough for today, my responsibility.
Making sure the kids were happy, my responsibility.
I told him when things fail in our house, I feel it's all on me.
And I know he takes on a lot of responsibilities but when things fail, he doesn't seem to be as sad about it as I am.
And he agreed with me.
He said he's always just understood that when we're together things will be fine. But didn't realize how much of that is because I refuse for things to not be fine.
But I said I felt like I was crumbling and felt like I was getting nowhere as the peace keeper in our house and the less people help me or comfort me, the faster I'm going to go back to being the Laura I hated, suicidal, uncaring, sad, and a failure.
So this morning I took the kids to school, assumed nothing would change. When I got home he was up and apologized that he didn't set his alarm. Then we had breakfast together, he went to work, I got the call from the post office.
This time yesterday I was crying in my car. I told God that I knew he had a plan for me, Josh, and the boys. I knew I was supposed to be patient because faith is knowing without seeing. But sometimes its just nice to get a little hint of it's gong to be ok. I guess I asked a day too early.
Praying this carrier position is accepted. And if it is, I have to figure out how I'm going to tell the two people that have been waiting for the post office to change its rules to swap with me that I can't be part of their swap anymore. I feel guilty but I have to do what I have to do for my family. And hopefully they understand.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STUFFNEARTABOR 9/13/2012 10:37AM

    I'm so glad for you. I know how stressful this can be. Good luck on getting the job & great job going in & ASKING for it!! Yippie for you!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHEETARA79 9/13/2012 8:37AM

    I really hope you get that job you want so bad.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TURTLESLOW14 9/12/2012 10:20PM

    THings always have a way of working out eventually and you are married to a wonderful understanding man, sounds like you just need to vent to him a bit more often so the old Laura doesnt return. Luvs you and you know things will all work out and be happy again!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
_JODI404 9/12/2012 9:02PM

    I am definitely praying for you that you get the job!! I guess living there you have to get used to that rain. (That's a big concern I have about even thinking of moving there!). The exercise would be great, and I know you really need for this to happen.

Hopefully your talk with Josh will help strike more household balance going forward. He seems to really listen, and care about your feelings.

Wishing the best for you! Keep us posted!


Report Inappropriate Comment
123ELAINE456 9/12/2012 6:40PM

  Awesome!!! God is watching over you and your Family. God is Good. We will pray that you get the job you need. God Bless You and your Famiy. Have a Wonderful Week. Have an ebjoyable Fun Day today. Have your Pastor and Church Pray for You Too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNA5281 9/12/2012 6:08PM


Looks like getting the job. I will say a prayer for you that you will get it Even though we know what their answer will be!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLUEANGELLK 9/12/2012 5:50PM

    It sounds like God took care of things. He will always lead you in the right direction. Praying that things go well and that you get the job!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Hakuna matata

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

After spending half the night worried about money and my weight and Lee's two shelves of sweets that he moved for me... into the pantry... right by the rest of the food... I decided I'm not going to worry anymore.
They take the car, they take the car. My focus is roof over head, electricity, water, phone, and food. I can learn to ride a bus. My mother in law said she'd help with rent until I get a job so why worry about it? I will not cry if they turn off our cable. I don't watch tv anyways. They take our internet, I'll go to the library.
Things will suck for our roomate because everything is in my name. But he's Josh's friend and a pain in my butt so I'll let Josh deal with him. If the internet and cable bother him so much, he can pay for it now and we can pay him back later. With all the times we helped him out in Texas and never asked for anything back, he can kiss my royal rear end if he thinks I'm going to worry about him having to pay more to play TF2 and Battlefeild. He moved in with us so he wouldn't have to pay for an apartment for one person, we moved the bulk of his stuff up here with us in our uhaul and never asked for any money, he pays barely anything for utilities because we split the bills up 5 ways (4 for my family, 1 for him), when I cook dinner I always invite him to eat some of it with us because there's no point in 2 dinners being made, I walk his dog 5 times a day, I clean the apartment every day. Truth is he owes me big time.
And the fit that he threw because I asked him to not put sweets all around our house yesterday royally pissed me off. I said "it's hard for me to tell my kids and myself no if thats what we see on top of the fridge, in the fridge, in the pantry, by the couch, and on the counter". He replied "It's my house too." I know that but be respectful of your roomates. I don't just vacuum around his dogs fur on our couch, I wash his dishes, I don't leave my underwear on top of the dryer, I don't touch his stuff, because its the right thing to do. So if you see someone struggling you help them.
And Josh had to step in to get Lee to listen. I don't think the guy understands how much of a pain he really is as a person. But I work really hard to not see the bad side of people. I work really hard to try and be understanding.
So Hakuna Matata. I'm going to let life change me anymore. There is always going to be a Lee in my life. There's always going to be money issues. There's always going to be temptations on the counter or in the pantry. I'm going to live life the BEST that I can and not worry about the rest. If I win, I win. If I lose I lose. But I'm not going to worry anymore.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_JODI404 9/12/2012 9:06PM

    Great attitude Kaura!! It may not be easy, but you can do it!!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
123ELAINE456 9/11/2012 7:06PM

  You need to have 100% SUPPORT from your HUSBAND!!! Have one place in the house for all their Sweets out of Sight from Everyone. Maybe you can enlist the support of your Mother In Law too. That would help too. Don't make Yourself sick over this. Its not worth it. You will be able to get through this. This Soon Shall Pass. God Loves You and Is Watching Over You. God Bless You, Your Husband, The Room Mate and Family. Have a Wonderful Week. I been through alot of things like this so I understand how upsetting this is for You. Keep Looking Up. Keep Bloging. We are here for You. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNA5281 9/11/2012 2:29PM

You need to tell Lee exactly how you feel. If he doesn't like it to bad.
Does he have a job, if so he needs to help out more. It seems like you have helped him plenty. Now it is his turn to help you!
Some people just think of themselves.
If you continue to worry, you will make yourself sick.

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SASKGIRL81 9/11/2012 1:10PM

    Boo to having Lee's in your life. I would throw a temper tantrum complete with screams of IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! We have money issues as well so I understand completely the worry over money. Good luck and I hope things get easier for you

Report Inappropriate Comment
TURTLESLOW14 9/11/2012 1:04PM

    I am sorry that your roommate is such a poohead. He needs a swift kick you know where. Wish I could be of more help as a good friend should be. Dont let those stressors get to you, you dont want to end up like me by worry and things you have no control of. Just remember you do have friends that luv you mucho! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

When two men get together, one woman will get fat

Sunday, September 09, 2012

I don't think Josh and Lee understand that stacking donuts and cookies up on top of the fridge do not help the main cook in the family lose weight. I do not think candy really needs to go in the fruit drawer. I have to go on an expedition to the back of the freezer to find my frozen chicken and other healthy food that has been smooshed by pizza boxes, ben and Jerry ice cream, and burritos. When they say they're going to cook dinner, I'm either limited to one brautwurst or a half bowl of chili because there wasn't enough room for my chicken, they forgot to pick up the chicken, or "You're not going to eat the chili? We spent hours on that." Ummm excuse me, I spent hours on most of the dinners in this house and you both still eat around the freggies.
I've talked with Josh about it and he's great when Lee (our roomate) isn't in the house. But as soon as you have them both in the same room for over an hour they're going for a cookie run or Lee wants to try a new recipe or "we need more meat in our diet" and "Do you want some?" And Lee is a diabetic so one box of donuts lasts him about a week so why does he need more?
There's going to be a new phrase in this house. It's going to be "Hell hath no fury like a woman whos husband just brought home more cookies."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUE42DOWN 9/10/2012 1:38PM


Love how you ended this. Maybe make a big poster to hang on the fridge with that motto and some sort of picture that would catch attention.

Report Inappropriate Comment
123ELAINE456 9/10/2012 12:54AM

  You could do all of the shopping for the food in the house. That would put a stop to a lot of it. The room mate needs to take his health more seriously too. Try talking to them. Get them interested in SparkPeople with you. Good Luck. God Bless Everyone. Have a Wonderful Week. Try taking walks together too. Stand Firm. You Can Do It. We are here for you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRAVELUTE 9/9/2012 9:18PM

    Very funny blog. And I think very typical. You ARE NOT ALONE!!

Could I suggest sitting them down with a menu planner. Require them to plan the meals for the day, meeting the requirements for 7 fruits and veggies, 3 whole grains, 2 dairy, 2 protein, 25 g. of fiber, 25 units of iron, or whatever you hold near and dear to your health as important.

For myself, I put my requirements down the side of the page with check boxes so I am sure I've put in everything I should. If I still have requirements, they go in to a meal or snack before I add the "extras" like cookies and donuts.

They both sound old enough to learn their way through this, especially if given some type of organizer. You could even sit them down with the SP Nutrition tracker. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    I am a reformed "food enabler"....so I am guilty of some of this. Now, since I am the one needing to lose weight, my food habits depend on ignoring these things....but I am not always successful. Good Luck to you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARBARASDIET 9/9/2012 5:47PM

    sigh.....they probably won't change which means--you have to....

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNA5281 9/9/2012 5:30PM


They both need a talking to. Tell them both that they need to put it where you won't find it, besides your husband shouldn't be eating all of that stuff.
He should be eating what you have.
They both probably both need to exercise. Give them both a swift kick in the butt!!


Report Inappropriate Comment
TURTLESLOW14 9/9/2012 3:21PM

    He needs a huge talking to! I think I would have kicked him in the rear. As far as the roommate I would tell him to keep his treats in. His room out of respect to you....or he just needs a swift kick too.......want me to come help straighten them out?

Report Inappropriate Comment

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 Last Page