Friday, October 03, 2008
The yoga challenge has started and I'm totally excited!
I'm hoping to find a solution to my emotional and mental woes. Hopefully the answer will come before my writing since I don't want to be fully stressed out doing that and during the holidays.
I'm totally running around with my head off over here. This whole week was crazy and I've been at the school for days now and will be there tomorrow too. Next week is just as crazy. The kids will be out of school for 2 days and will have half days for the rest of the week...I nearly said year...*sigh*. Plus I got conferences for them both.
I'm going to have to do my yoga in the morning and evening...really I need it badly!!!
I encourage everyone to join me on this yoga challenge! Just head on down to my team and sign up!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Today I bring you your daily dosage of creepy stalker like chic.
Okay, it's been a while since I've blogged and yet I'm telling people daily "I'm gonna blog! PROMISE!!!" Well here's the issue, I got things running through my head that I've been wanting to say and was a bit afraid to say.
But, I've decided that I'm gonna say it and either you will understand or you will totally freak out. Either way, it's off MY chest. If at any point you are too freaked out about the subject below, just send me an email and let me know. I understand that some people just aren't on that level.
So I'm a lovable, likable person who never, NEVER understood "chatting, internet relationships, flirting and such." and how people could get wrapped up in them. But, I've noticed my internet friendships and views have changed in the past year. I've had friends pass away, lose their children and spouses, jobs and homes. I've also had people who have inspired me to make changes in my life.
They say that communication is the key to any relationship. Can you communicate any better than this? We write all our thoughts down for the world to see and share just about everything. I mean it's love at first sight-wait, make that love at first site. First word, thread, chat?(I've had this convo. before...)
Look at us...White, black, thin, fat, young, old...our looks don't matter, nothing matters. I'm out here making friends and chatting away and no one cares. No one cares because they only have the choice to talk and learn and get to know us and then decide.
I LOVE MY INTERNET FRIENDS!
Like totally in love with you all and that sounds a bit creepy and all but it's true.I'm not talking about "Hey wanna see my boobs? " I love you. I'm talking about...
Everyday I wake up and look at myself in the mirror and want to give up...
And everyday I come on here and one of you are here for me and I knew all along that you would be. And I've never met you...and you never met me...not in person at least. But I know you or at least I know who you want to be, who you wish to be. I know you on an emotional and mental level.
I'm not talking "in love" as in "sexual/romance" I'm talking about "in love"....
A love that honestly makes you cry when your team mate says that she was in tears because someone made a comment about her weight in public.The love that makes you realize that if you could, you would be there in a heart beat to comfort her.
I believe you when you say that you are depressed when those numbers go up and I can actually feel that, imagine that because I've been there too.
I believe you when you say you got into those jeans and the "whoo hoo" is loud and clear to me.
I love who you are, who you say you are because I believe that even if it's not true, it's still who you want to be. You could photo shop your picture or put up one of a model and I wouldn't care because I believe that it's your way of saying "this is who I really am once you get past all the superficial crap." Maybe it's your way of saying "this is who I want to be or know I can be."
And even if it's not the true you...I still love you...I love the fact that you want to be that beautiful person, that you believe and know you are. I love the fact that you are such a great person that even when you don't know someone "in person", you still support them and tell them that you care. How can I not love that about you? How can anyone not love that about you?
I've met many internet friends and it's amazing...I learned so much about them that nothing changed once we met in person. I didn't care about their looks, clothes...nothing. Those little things, well when you learn to love someone for who they are, those little things don't even matter.
You don't have to love me back, you can just like me. I understand that I'm one of those people who loves to love and not everyone is that way. I want you to know that I'm not gonna flash you my boob or ask for your number...street address and where you keep your undies. But, I will tell you that you've changed my life. I've learned to live away from friends and family and I've learned that communication is key.
Know that I really do mean it when I say that I love you. When things hit the fan I'm thinking of you and wishing that I could be there to support you. Yes, I would totally hug you and hold you and cry myself silly. And the whole while I would tell you that it's okay, I know the mental and emotional you, who you want to be and know you can be. I will tell you that, that person I know is truly beautiful, utterly amazing and inspires me everyday to change and become the person I want to be and know I truly am.
I'm totally loving you all right now! Completely in tears!
I love you, you are beautiful and amazing and every time we chat you make me feel the same. It's a feeling we all deserve.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Death is a Dialogue...
So says Emily Dickinson (my favorite poet!).
Since Saturday afternoon the normal greeting has been:
Random friend: "Hey Kat, how ya doin?"
Kat: "OMG, SOMEONE KILL ME PLEASE!!!"
So it's of no surprise that I start this blog in the same manner of my previous online conversations.
OMG, KILL ME PLEASE!!!!
MY HEAD IS KILLING ME, IT REFUSES TO STOP. HOT POKERS IN MY EARS!!! MY EYE IS GOING TO POP OUT!!!!!
I WENT TO THE DOCTOR ABOUT IT! SHE GAVE ME TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF MIGRAINE MEDS!!
THE FIRST ONE MADE ME DIZZY AND I THOUGHT I HAD A CLAMP ON MY THROAT!!!
THE SECOND ONE MADE ME SLEEPY!!! HELP CAN'T THINK! EYES NOW DRY! THROAT HURTS!
BUT MY HEAD FEELS BETTER!!!!
whoo freakin hooo....
SHE CHECKED MY KNEE AND SAID THAT IT'S EITHER GOUT OR ARTHRITIS!!!
EITHER WAY I'M IN PAIN!!!
Let me take that whoo freakin hooo and shove it up my arse!
SPEAKING OF MY REAR, IT WON'T SHUT UP!!!! I WINK, I TOOT, I TOOT AND THE ROOM CLEARS!!! I CAN'T CLEAR WITH THE DAMN ROOM CUS I'M DIZZY AND LIMPING!!!
THIS IS INHUMANE!!! PUT ME DOWN PLEASE!!!
MY SHORT STORY WAS NOT ACCEPTED BECAUSE IT WAS....27 SECONDS LATE!!!!!
okay...take me out before I take them out...
I FIGURED IT WOULDN'T BE ACCEPTED BUT WHEN THE HOLDER OF THE CONTEST DIDN'T MARK ME DOWN AS DISQUALIFIED, I THOUGHT I WAS IN!!! WISH I HAD KNOWN, WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE PAST 2 WEEKS!!!
She did say however that if I had been on time I would have been a contender for the top 3 spots!
I'VE BEEN ASKED TO TEACH POETRY ON THE WRITING SITE!!! I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT SINCE I HELP OUT SO MANY AND HAVE HAD PLANS TO TEACH ALREADY!!! NOW MOST OF THE WORK IS DONE FOR ME!!!
JUST MY DAMN LUCK I'LL GET A BUNCH OF THOSE EMO KIDS AND WILL HAVE TO READ BADLY WRITTEN VERSES ABOUT DEATH AND ANGELS AT THEIR BEDS AND PAIN FORMING INTO POOLS OF BLOOD AND THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE AND LOVE BEING LIKE ROSES AND TEAR DROPS LIKE DIAMONDS AND TONS OF OTHER SAPPY AND TRITE AND ASININE AND CLICHE CRAP AND IN THE END I'LL ROLL MY DESK CHAIR TO THE EDGE OF THE STAIRS AND WILL TOSS MYSELF DOWN WHILE SCREAMING...
"OMG, SOMEONE KILL ME PLEASE!!!!"
Death is a Dialogue....
Friday, September 12, 2008
I'm super tired and super busy all at the same time!
I seem to be helping tons of people out and right now it seems that the "Outline" is what is "in".
On the terms of sparking, I'm drawing out outlines (plans/goals) for not only myself but for my team. New challenges are on their way! I'll be sending an email out to the team members! For those wanting to join in on the fun, just turn to my sparks page and click on that hard working hamster and join "The Challenge!"
With my writing: I've got 2 novels to finish and maybe another to start! I got to get to work on it now because I'm hoping to double the fun and do nano twice in the same month meaning 100k words. Plus, I'm helping out a few young writers in the process!
At home we are outlining a family routine now that dh is back. It's hard because with him in the military things change non stop! Hopefully we can pull it together!
I'm working on it all!
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