whoa...something is off...

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Things are just way out of whack for me. I'm getting things done and yet...I'm not getting things done.

I'm tired...I'm stressed...and oh no.

My comp. is messing up...I feel like I'm never hon...*sigh*

I just realized, before starting this blog, that normally I have my page set up days before the start of the month. Normally I have goals, a new intro, new pics, new backgrounds and all and yet it's 4 days in and I have changed nothing.

Normally by now I would have sent all my sparks buddies little goodies thanking them for their support and love and yet...nothing.

I know that if things are crazy now they will only get worst at the end of the month and for the month of Nov. and that's not due to the holidays.

My first goal...get to bed before 1 am....the whole go to bed at 1am (or late) and wake up at 6 am (or earlier) is not working out for the best. Normally I don't stop till my eye twitches( my physical cue that my body is not wanting to work) but mentally I'm draining myself so that's my new cue.

I've been feeling off but now it's showing...I really am not adapting to dh being here, school starting and adding so much into my life. I'm back to writing, doing sparks and volunteering and it's just all to much.

The bad thing...I can't cut anything out. In all directions someone depends on me and in all directions I have been waiting and dreaming to do all of the above. Let's just hope that sleep is all that i need to get this all together.

Hugs-kat

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KHAL5671 10/12/2008 2:45AM

I sure hope you have been able to take a spet back and collect your self. It is okay to not be everything to everyone. People will understand. Report Inappropriate Comment

SHIRLEYX 10/5/2008 11:36AM

Go to bed and sleep. Work on some exercise and getting to bed earlier and life will look a whole lot better. Report Inappropriate Comment

Yoga Challenge

Friday, October 03, 2008

The yoga challenge has started and I'm totally excited!

I'm hoping to find a solution to my emotional and mental woes. Hopefully the answer will come before my writing since I don't want to be fully stressed out doing that and during the holidays.

I'm totally running around with my head off over here. This whole week was crazy and I've been at the school for days now and will be there tomorrow too. Next week is just as crazy. The kids will be out of school for 2 days and will have half days for the rest of the week...I nearly said year...*sigh*. Plus I got conferences for them both.

I'm going to have to do my yoga in the morning and evening...really I need it badly!!!

I encourage everyone to join me on this yoga challenge! Just head on down to my team and sign up!

Hugs-Kat

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SARAIPHIM 10/3/2008 1:54AM

Yea for Yoga! You sound really stressed . . . *hugs* Get some hugs it should help. (Release the healthy, happy hormones! Really they do.) Holidays are just around the corner. What a scary thought . . . at least we all have a place to vent, right? ^_^ Report Inappropriate Comment

AKASUPERMOM 10/3/2008 12:38AM

I'm excited about the challenge as well. Ok...as I typed that I glanced down and happened to actually SEE the words on your burger picture. I hadn't, honestly, noticed what it said until now. ROFL You're doing a great job. Report Inappropriate Comment

Daily Dosage of Creepy Stalker like Chic

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Today I bring you your daily dosage of creepy stalker like chic.

Okay, it's been a while since I've blogged and yet I'm telling people daily "I'm gonna blog! PROMISE!!!" Well here's the issue, I got things running through my head that I've been wanting to say and was a bit afraid to say.

But, I've decided that I'm gonna say it and either you will understand or you will totally freak out. Either way, it's off MY chest. If at any point you are too freaked out about the subject below, just send me an email and let me know. I understand that some people just aren't on that level.

So I'm a lovable, likable person who never, NEVER understood "chatting, internet relationships, flirting and such." and how people could get wrapped up in them. But, I've noticed my internet friendships and views have changed in the past year. I've had friends pass away, lose their children and spouses, jobs and homes. I've also had people who have inspired me to make changes in my life.

They say that communication is the key to any relationship. Can you communicate any better than this? We write all our thoughts down for the world to see and share just about everything. I mean it's love at first sight-wait, make that love at first site. First word, thread, chat?(I've had this convo. before...)

Look at us...White, black, thin, fat, young, old...our looks don't matter, nothing matters. I'm out here making friends and chatting away and no one cares. No one cares because they only have the choice to talk and learn and get to know us and then decide.

I LOVE MY INTERNET FRIENDS!

Like totally in love with you all and that sounds a bit creepy and all but it's true.I'm not talking about "Hey wanna see my boobs? " I love you. I'm talking about...

Everyday I wake up and look at myself in the mirror and want to give up...
And everyday I come on here and one of you are here for me and I knew all along that you would be. And I've never met you...and you never met me...not in person at least. But I know you or at least I know who you want to be, who you wish to be. I know you on an emotional and mental level.

I'm not talking "in love" as in "sexual/romance" I'm talking about "in love"....

A love that honestly makes you cry when your team mate says that she was in tears because someone made a comment about her weight in public.The love that makes you realize that if you could, you would be there in a heart beat to comfort her.

I believe you when you say that you are depressed when those numbers go up and I can actually feel that, imagine that because I've been there too.
I believe you when you say you got into those jeans and the "whoo hoo" is loud and clear to me.

I love who you are, who you say you are because I believe that even if it's not true, it's still who you want to be. You could photo shop your picture or put up one of a model and I wouldn't care because I believe that it's your way of saying "this is who I really am once you get past all the superficial crap." Maybe it's your way of saying "this is who I want to be or know I can be."

And even if it's not the true you...I still love you...I love the fact that you want to be that beautiful person, that you believe and know you are. I love the fact that you are such a great person that even when you don't know someone "in person", you still support them and tell them that you care. How can I not love that about you? How can anyone not love that about you?

I've met many internet friends and it's amazing...I learned so much about them that nothing changed once we met in person. I didn't care about their looks, clothes...nothing. Those little things, well when you learn to love someone for who they are, those little things don't even matter.

You don't have to love me back, you can just like me. I understand that I'm one of those people who loves to love and not everyone is that way. I want you to know that I'm not gonna flash you my boob or ask for your number...street address and where you keep your undies. But, I will tell you that you've changed my life. I've learned to live away from friends and family and I've learned that communication is key.

Know that I really do mean it when I say that I love you. When things hit the fan I'm thinking of you and wishing that I could be there to support you. Yes, I would totally hug you and hold you and cry myself silly. And the whole while I would tell you that it's okay, I know the mental and emotional you, who you want to be and know you can be. I will tell you that, that person I know is truly beautiful, utterly amazing and inspires me everyday to change and become the person I want to be and know I truly am.

I'm totally loving you all right now! Completely in tears!

I love you, you are beautiful and amazing and every time we chat you make me feel the same. It's a feeling we all deserve.

Hugs-Kat

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONSTANCELG 10/24/2008 9:45AM

Thanks Kat darlink one!!!! It truly is amazing and inspiring to get to know such a diverse group of people on such an intimate level as we do here on Spark. You have put the reality of internet relationships in perspective and made a very valid point, everyone wants to live and be loved for who they are inside and out without reservation or judgement. I LOVE YOU MORE!!!! Constance Report Inappropriate Comment

TRECECOOKS 10/3/2008 3:08PM

Wonderful. . . comforting. . . articulate. You WILL be able to use this for one of your writing things, won't you!! Love ya back! Report Inappropriate Comment

LISA_074 9/29/2008 12:12PM

Just a beautiful blog. Thank you. Report Inappropriate Comment

PHILSPHATWIFE 9/29/2008 11:54AM

I could not have said this better myself Kat and well we all know i like to hear myself talk..lol I second this emotion and just know that I love you all too. All of my challenge sisters all of the women i'm met online that have supported me in one way or another. Report Inappropriate Comment

SHELLREED 9/29/2008 1:41AM

well said my friend.. hahah.. you had me laughing and crying all at the same time.. I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND.. MY LEADER.. MY CHALLENGE SISTER!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

CGVALLE1 9/28/2008 9:46PM

I'M WITH YA GIRL!!! I have NEVER gotten so much support in my life!!! I feel oddly connected to everyone here!!! OH GROUP HUG!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

SARAIPHIM 9/27/2008 8:45PM

Wow . . . O.o *Gets excited and runs around room* YEAH! *Hugs* Isn't it great to love others? Report Inappropriate Comment

-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 9/27/2008 7:37PM

Very well said. Thanks! Report Inappropriate Comment

Death is a Dialogue....

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Death is a Dialogue...

So says Emily Dickinson (my favorite poet!).

Since Saturday afternoon the normal greeting has been:

Random friend: "Hey Kat, how ya doin?"

Kat: "OMG, SOMEONE KILL ME PLEASE!!!"

So it's of no surprise that I start this blog in the same manner of my previous online conversations.

OMG, KILL ME PLEASE!!!!

MY HEAD IS KILLING ME, IT REFUSES TO STOP. HOT POKERS IN MY EARS!!! MY EYE IS GOING TO POP OUT!!!!!

I WENT TO THE DOCTOR ABOUT IT! SHE GAVE ME TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF MIGRAINE MEDS!!

THE FIRST ONE MADE ME DIZZY AND I THOUGHT I HAD A CLAMP ON MY THROAT!!!

THE SECOND ONE MADE ME SLEEPY!!! HELP CAN'T THINK! EYES NOW DRY! THROAT HURTS!

BUT MY HEAD FEELS BETTER!!!!

whoo freakin hooo....

ACK!

SHE CHECKED MY KNEE AND SAID THAT IT'S EITHER GOUT OR ARTHRITIS!!!

EITHER WAY I'M IN PAIN!!!

Let me take that whoo freakin hooo and shove it up my arse!

SPEAKING OF MY REAR, IT WON'T SHUT UP!!!! I WINK, I TOOT, I TOOT AND THE ROOM CLEARS!!! I CAN'T CLEAR WITH THE DAMN ROOM CUS I'M DIZZY AND LIMPING!!!

THIS IS INHUMANE!!! PUT ME DOWN PLEASE!!!

MY SHORT STORY WAS NOT ACCEPTED BECAUSE IT WAS....27 SECONDS LATE!!!!!

okay...take me out before I take them out...

I FIGURED IT WOULDN'T BE ACCEPTED BUT WHEN THE HOLDER OF THE CONTEST DIDN'T MARK ME DOWN AS DISQUALIFIED, I THOUGHT I WAS IN!!! WISH I HAD KNOWN, WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE PAST 2 WEEKS!!!

She did say however that if I had been on time I would have been a contender for the top 3 spots!

I'VE BEEN ASKED TO TEACH POETRY ON THE WRITING SITE!!! I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT SINCE I HELP OUT SO MANY AND HAVE HAD PLANS TO TEACH ALREADY!!! NOW MOST OF THE WORK IS DONE FOR ME!!!

but....

JUST MY DAMN LUCK I'LL GET A BUNCH OF THOSE EMO KIDS AND WILL HAVE TO READ BADLY WRITTEN VERSES ABOUT DEATH AND ANGELS AT THEIR BEDS AND PAIN FORMING INTO POOLS OF BLOOD AND THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE AND LOVE BEING LIKE ROSES AND TEAR DROPS LIKE DIAMONDS AND TONS OF OTHER SAPPY AND TRITE AND ASININE AND CLICHE CRAP AND IN THE END I'LL ROLL MY DESK CHAIR TO THE EDGE OF THE STAIRS AND WILL TOSS MYSELF DOWN WHILE SCREAMING...

"OMG, SOMEONE KILL ME PLEASE!!!!"

Death is a Dialogue....

hugs-kat

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCKYLESLIE 10/4/2008 11:57PM

OH MY!!! -Leslie Report Inappropriate Comment

SOMDGAL 9/26/2008 11:04PM

I love you.......you are honest and silly! hope you are feeling better! Report Inappropriate Comment

TRECECOOKS 9/21/2008 2:14PM

I am sitting here howling!! I am sorry about the story; another one of those speed is of the essence things, huh? Love the description of the emo kids & their poetry. Sorry about the ailments. The meds are probably the cause of the tooting. Hope you don't have an ear infection. Love ya, no matter what!! Trece PS I was channeling my inner Rocky yesterday. Report Inappropriate Comment

SEESKO 9/20/2008 8:05AM

Sounds like things are not going your way at all. However, laughter is the best medicine and you certainly made me laugh. Oh hon, things will clear up ...they always do. Report Inappropriate Comment

SHELLREED 9/19/2008 4:21AM

oh dear my funny fearless leader I don't know what is funnier the fact that I love your rantings or the fact that I strive to be just like you minus the pain factor of course.. I know for a fact that you would be a great teacher heck you taut me to get up off my a** and get moving and that was no easy task let me tell you, I say you kick some emo butt and whip em into shape if anyone can it is you. Report Inappropriate Comment

CGVALLE1 9/17/2008 10:47PM

LOL!!! YOU ARE CRAZY!!! I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING!! I AM SORRY YOU ARE HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME! IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU ARE KEEPING YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

STACEY-P 9/17/2008 7:53PM

Kat, I feel for you but at the same time I am LMAO!!! You are too funny. Sorry you are going through all the pain and stuff. 27seconds, paaallleeesse!!! What a crock!! Good luck with the poetry. Hey Kat, how ya doin'? Report Inappropriate Comment

PHILSPHATWIFE 9/17/2008 11:11AM

lmfao!!!! this is hands down one of the best and how frustrating to be 27 seconds late!!!!!! that is so crappy. i'm sorry Kat but hey look on the brightside your story was kick ass enough for them to tell you that it would have made the top 3!! that some kick butt validation right there. I hear you on the emo kids thing..please someone poke my eyes out before i'm forced to read another one of those crappy poems. Report Inappropriate Comment

CONSTANCELG 9/17/2008 9:37AM

I am sitting here just shaking my head, knowing things have been terrible for you but somehow through it all you keep your sarcastic sense of humor. Could things get any worse? At least you have your hubby home so something is going right. Wink hUgs and lOvies. Constance Report Inappropriate Comment

MSLETTUCE 9/17/2008 8:52AM

Kat-you crack me up! I love reading your blogs...what a way to start my day! Hugs, Anne Report Inappropriate Comment

Outlining my life!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Hey all!

I'm super tired and super busy all at the same time!

I seem to be helping tons of people out and right now it seems that the "Outline" is what is "in".

On the terms of sparking, I'm drawing out outlines (plans/goals) for not only myself but for my team. New challenges are on their way! I'll be sending an email out to the team members! For those wanting to join in on the fun, just turn to my sparks page and click on that hard working hamster and join "The Challenge!"

With my writing: I've got 2 novels to finish and maybe another to start! I got to get to work on it now because I'm hoping to double the fun and do nano twice in the same month meaning 100k words. Plus, I'm helping out a few young writers in the process!

At home we are outlining a family routine now that dh is back. It's hard because with him in the military things change non stop! Hopefully we can pull it together!

I'm working on it all!

Hugs-Kat

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AROCHFORD 9/16/2008 4:05PM

You also sound Super happy:). I know you can do it. Just keep focused. Keep SParking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!! Comment edited on: 9/16/2008 4:03:29 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

LUCKYLESLIE 9/15/2008 9:49PM

WOW!!! You gotta LOT going Girl! I am afraid that I am lacking on the writing & blogging part of the team! I'm doing all the stuff but just don't make it to that part! I will try to get better or we can help each other like you said! Hope you are having a great day!_Leslie Report Inappropriate Comment

CGVALLE1 9/14/2008 9:09PM

I agree w/ AARJENWAR...try to take time for yourself!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

AARJENWAR 9/13/2008 10:49PM

I thought I was busy. It seems that you have your hands full as well. I hope you remember to take some time for yourself. I tend not to do that all of the time. Report Inappropriate Comment

MSLETTUCE 9/13/2008 5:05PM

Wow-you are one busy lady!!! And a fearless leader to boot. Keep it up, you're helping more than you probably realize. Hugs, Anne Report Inappropriate Comment

TRECECOOKS 9/13/2008 2:36PM

I REALLY liked the story; one of those charming stories that kind of sneak up on you. DD26 liked it, too. I off to check out the team thingee!! Report Inappropriate Comment

CONSTANCELG 9/13/2008 1:36PM

You are doing a great job! Keep up the great motivation! If you need anything or we can help you please let us know!! Report Inappropriate Comment

SHELLREED 9/13/2008 11:12AM

Don't forget to think about you while your helping everyone else.. keep on keepin on and don't forget to have fun while your doing it!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

STACEY-P 9/13/2008 12:39AM

Girl you wear me out!! lol. You are a busy Momma. Good Luck with everything. Get those creative juices flowing!! Report Inappropriate Comment