Saturday, April 12, 2008
Well, I've not been working out but have been taking the kids to the pool! I'm with the baby but i do it to put a noodle around him and do a few laps with just kicking, along with some leg exercises. I'm spending about 30 mins at the least, in the pool.
It's okay. I'm not too keen with the fact that my fat butt has to put myself into a swim suit and then walk pass every full length mirror ever sold, along with the scale that sits right at the shower entrance.
I'm still not sure if it's worst than working out in the room of mirrors where I can see every pound of fat bounce, flop and jiggle as I huff, puff, sweat and nearly die as i'm sandwiched between the extreamly skinny and fit chick who keeps on smiling at me, and the hottest guy to walk the face of the earth, who keeps looking over me to smile at her.
either way, why all the damn mirrors?
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
I'm noticing that I'm pretty much not losing or gaining right now. I'm hoping that will change. I've not been able to get in to the gym except for when i'm swimming with the kids and on top of that while I was not eating out I was eating junk food and now that I'm eating out...well, i'm eating out.
I'm actually surprised. I've been doing really awful for a long, long time. Of course during the time dh was home and the holidays, I didn't workout at all and ate junk. The month of March was awful with no work outs pretty much and nothing but junk and yet I managed to lose most of the weight I had gained during the holidays. So far April has been pretty bad too but I'm staying the same...no loss, no gain.
i'm hoping for some form of loss soon. I'm aiming to drop to 200 by the 1st of May. I just need to make it ALL work I think
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Ever since a child, I was known as the skinny kid. We were one of the few and only black families in the area and I was taunted constantly throughout school for being so thin. Comments such as "Crack baby" and "Starving African" were commonly yelled at me throughout my childhood. When I got preg and put on weight, I was so thrilled. When it started to fall off and I reached 119, I did all I could to gain some of it back, not wanting to ever be the way I was in my youth. I found a happy medium of 133 but, for those who knew me as the kid who weighed 101 during my first trimester of preg. and highschool, this was considered "Fat".
It of course hurt to know that no matter where I went with my weight there was going to be taunting and teasing. After my 2nd child I still had weight to lose from that preg and the a miscarriage that lasted into the 2nd trimester. At 150 and less then a year after I gave birth, I had 15lbs to lose to get to the weight that I was before I had gained from both of those pregs. (49 from the full term and about 15 from the first one. I got preg about 1 month after losing my baby.)
While trying to lose those last 15 or so pounds, I began to have splitting headaches. Doctors at the military base put me on all sorts of meds, some for pain, some for depression/anxiety, stating that the pain was due to me being stressed about dh's deployment. Within 3 months of being on the first set of meds and nearly bed ridden from the pain and zombie like effect they gave me, I had gained over 30lbs. I would spend the next year bouncing on meds and gaining weight.
When my husband returned he demanded they fix the issue. With an MRI they detected a cyst putting pressure and causing the headaches. Since it's not declared a "life or death" issue, it has not been removed and to this day I deal with issues such as loss of vision, vomiting and fainting spells from the cyst.
Once i reached 198lbs, I dropped all meds. I found out that I had a thyroid issue most likely caused either from my preg. or the meds.
I became preg. again and began to suffer from SPD, a separation of the pelvic which started at 12 weeks along. by 20 weeks I had to be wheel chaired into my doctor's office and used a walker or crutch for support. By full term I was unable to meet my daily needs.
After giving birth I continued to have pain and was unable to walk on my own for more than 6 months. At about 6 months walking became easy but such things as getting dressed became hard. I found that even though I had lost all my preg. weight and was back to 198, I was slowly gaining it back due to lack of exercise and movement. In turn I was still having the headaches.
With all the pain, I decided to go back on the meds plus the new ones for the SPD issues. I was to check into the doctors every week and every week I did they reported between a 3% to 7% body weight gain. By the end of the first month I had gained 18lbs total. I went off the meds and tried to do things on my own and failed.
When my son turned 2 we took a trip to see family in AZ. I realized that while I was able to walk the trails of the park and zoo with out much pain, I was still unable to squat or do any movement that separated my pelvic/legs. I took this to heart and when Dh went on deployment a month later, I started writing a work out that would help me lose weight without the pain.
I have since then lost 30lbs. I regained 13lbs of that during dh's visit home and the holidays in which I did not work out for 3 months. I also hurt myself during one of my workouts and had to take another break for a month after 24 days of getting back into the groove.
I recently started to slowly exercise, making sure to be more careful and have in the past month I lost 5lbs.
I have just recently looked at Myspace and saw pictures of my High school class. The reunion is this year in Nov. While I could really care less about meeting these people up and really don't want to, I do hate the fact that I know that my weight gain will be the talk of the town when me and dh go out there to visit family in Sept and Oct.
While I know that everyone else has changed, it seems that my change has been a drastic one and not one for the better. I never wanted to be the skinny "crack head baby" during my youth and I sure don't want to be the "Fat black chick with fried chicken in her hand" during my adult life.
If you can't tell, I'm bummed and a bit stuck. I have no long term goal because even when I'm happy with my weight, someone comes along to bring me down. Do I want to be 101 like before or do I want to be 135? Should I find a place in between?
It's hard to be happy with yourself when the world is bringing you down. It's hard to set goals when at every turn it was wrong to start with.
I almost feel more lost then depressed.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Support Your Breasts
For those who don't know, I have decided to do life challenges and my challenge for the week was to find a well fitting sports bra. I've found this to be more challenging then ever and have at this point bought three bra's and don't really like any of them. Yes I tried them on, did a few jumps in front of the tiny dressing room mirror and thought for sure that they would work. Well high impact aerobics classes, tennis and full out running in these bras are not going to keep my breast where they need to be. So, I decided that I need to do a bit more research to help in my quest to give my breast the support that they need. Here is a bit of information I've learned.
The average woman's breast shape, size and distribution will change at least six times during the course of her life. Here are some of the lifestyle events that will cause such breast changes: Weight loss or gain, birth control/hormone replacement therapy and other medications, increase/decrease in exercise, pregnancy and/or nursing, breast augmentations, a change in diet/body fat.
Like always, the best way to handle all of life changes is to find the right support and when it comes to your breast, that support comes in the form of a bra.
When it comes to bra's there are many myths out there. One of them is, "There is a perfect bra." and the truth is, there isn't. Just like the fact that we all are different people, we all have different breast and there is no, "perfect bra" that works for everyone. In fact, this idea and many others, are the many of the reasons why up to 85% of all woman are wear the wrong bra.
There are many bra myth's out there and here are just a few of them: A bra that shows back fat is too tight-False, a properly fitted bra will encase the tissue and minimize the appearance of back fat . Minimizers make a woman look smaller busted- False, these bra's flatten your breast giving more surface space which makes you look wider! Underwire's are uncomfortable-False, underwire discomfort is due to a shallow breast cup and the band riding up the back. A well fitted bra will do neither of these. Back pain and shoulder stiffness is due to your shape and fullness-False, this comes from relying on your bra straps to do the work instead of the band. Exercise can improve firmness in breast tissue muscle-False, the elasticity in your breast tissue can not be improved once it is lost. Compress sports bra's are the best for working out-False, this only causes the breast to become one solid mass that will bounce all at once and damage the root tissue closest to the chest wall.
In short, putting your breast into those too tight bra's will not only make you look bigger but will also cause more damage. This of course will cause a loss of firmness which none of us want. To top it off, your body shape and size is not the issue for your pain, discomfort and ripples that are seen around your bra. Yes, losing weight and staying fit will help in these issues but what you really need at this point is a bra that will support your breast without the discomfort and bulges.
So what are the best ways to support your breast? For starters, make sure you have the right size bra! If you experience any discomfort, your bra straps fall, you over fill your bra or the band rides up, then you are not wearing the right bra. Even though you can measure yourself, getting fit by a professional is the way to go. There is much more than the size and a professional can help you pick out not only the size in band and cup but the right shape for your breast and the right bra for your needs. Secondly, make sure that your bra has seams for that added support. Remember that the band of the bra does 90% of the support, not the straps. Lastly, make sure that you work out with the proper support bra.
Your sports bra should not be a compression bra which works to "smash" your breast to your chest. It should have seams, shape and cups to hold each breast separately not both together in one pouch. Your best bet is to find one that is not only comfortable but also supports your breast during high impact activities.
Also, remember to treat your bra's right and they will treat you right. Wash your bra's in sensitive soap, not bleach, in order to protect the elastic. Another way to protect the elastic is by hang drying your bra's instead of throwing them into the dryer. Hand wash your bra's or machine wash them in a net bag with the band clips attached in order to avoid stretching and damage to the clips. Another good tip is to rotate your bra selection in order to allow the material to keep it's structure and form longer.
Remember that bra support and care is only one way to take care of your breast. Self breast exams are your best bet in keeping your breast healthy by detecting many concerns that can affect not only your breast but your overall health. Women who do monthly breast exam's are more likely to catch breast cancer at an earlier stage then those who do not. Having your breast examined during your normal medical exam's is also suggested along with talking to your doctor about when you should start getting monograms.
Remember that your breast are different and as unique as you are and like other parts of your body they need care and support too. With the right support and care, you can limit the amount of back, shoulder and other comfort issues related to your breast and regain your confidence and self esteem.
- March 22nd 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
21 days and i did it...no eating out!
But soon as my 21 days were up i had to pig out. Not because I wanted to but because things came up with the school and i was at board meetings and running errands. I honestly didn't get home until around 8. Pour kids. I ate out twice that day, skipped breakfast too. The next day was just as bad so we had our friday pizza and a movie. Not too bad I guess. I'm hoping that April will be much better since the kids will be allowed in the Y and all.
I need a new challenge! I'm still thinking and will post it up asap!
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