Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The sweetness of reflecting on a dream
Setting goals is easy. The tough part is putting time and hard work into realizing those dreams. The energy you are willing to put forth to reach your dreams is directly related to the probability of achieving them. Above all, be patient with the situation and with yourself. Don't lose your way by being blinded by disappointment, frustrations, and failures. Ponder the goals in your life and the obstacles you might face. Make appropriate plans to overcome those roadblocks even before they occur. Think of the reward of reflecting on a goal you have reached, rather than one you failed to see through. Most big dreams involve big effort!
I am finally starting on a goal that I've been putting off for a very long time. I've put off going to college for 10+ years, knowing that I needed to go. I start October 1st and am working for a Bachelors in Business Administration with a concentration in Human Resources.
One reason I haven't gone is because I never had the money. Ten years later, I STILL don't have the money but decided that I never will so I might as well go for it. The good news is that my work will reimburse this semester, but I think I'm going to apply for a Student Loan next round so I don't feel obligated to stay with my current employer if something better comes along.
Another reason I gave for not going is that I didn't know what I wanted to study. Four months ago, I changed jobs and decided that I loved my last job (only moved away from it because my position was ending), which was a Human Resources job so I have finally decided to expand on my knowledge so I can move forward, and back into, HR.
SparkPeople has given me the courage to move forward with this. A boost from a dear friend made me say "just do it!"
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Hard times are inevitable--death, financial struggle, family problems, the loss of a job, depression--all of these tough times are just seasons. Abraham Lincoln once said, "This too shall pass," and you can apply it to both the good times and the bad. The thrill of a new relationship won't endure forever, just as the grief of losing a loved one won't either. So endure the hardships of life, knowing that time will eventually heal your wounds and you will make it through. Think about what struggles have occurred in your life and what they taught you. No matter how dim the light at the end of the tunnel seems, it is still a light. Each day is an opportunity for that light of hope to get closer and closer, until eventually the clouds above your head part and you feel the forgotten sunshine on you again. Overcoming pain makes you stronger and better equipped to handle the next valley.
I can very much attest to today's Healthy Reflection. I've had my share of heartache and loss, but I remember my step mom telling me growing up that "this too shall pass". No truer words were ever spoken. When she passed in 1997 (10 years this month), it was very difficult for me because she raised me from the age of 5. I miss her all the time.
However, one of the most difficult times in my life was when my now ex-husband left me. We were married when I was 19 and were together for 12 years before we split. It was almost the hardest time of my life because it was all I knew. Fortunately, it wasn't much longer after he left, that I got in touch with an old friend who ended up becoming my best friend and my current husband. He is Jason.
So when things get tough, and they will, I always tell myself that this too shall pass and remind myself that I can't control everything.
The number one hardest thing actually was trying to help Jason quit smoking. Jason was a 20-year smoker when we were married and he had mentioned wanting to quit several times. I always blew it off because I told myself he wouldn't be able to do it. And I was wrong until this year. His New Year's resolution this year was to quit. And it's taken him 8 months of fighting it but I think we've found some relief for him and in doing so, have found some relief for me. It hurt to watch him struggle and have no control over it. I've watched so many people get ill from smoking (my step-mom that died 10 years ago? She died from lung cancer and Jason's step-dad has Emphysema) and it scared me that one day, I'd have to watch Jason get ill and die. So this time when he announced that he was going to quit, I put my heart into it and it got broken several times. It finally took me telling myself that I couldn't control the situation and to put it in God's hands to finally find some relief for myself. Jason started taking Chantix (on his 3rd week) and it's working. I'm so glad. Wish us luck!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Voices screaming for originality surround us in today's culture. Problem is, most originality is happening just on the surface level, and is usually not original at all. People are so "original" now that tattoos--once symbols of rebellion and individual freedom--are now a tool of conformity. Sometimes, you can adopt someone else's value system without knowing it. When that happens, you dilute the one thing you have complete control over: your unique self. People who are truly individuals are ones who are true to themselves. They are self-made people, not composites of borrowed personalities and values. They created their own value system and gain strength by living within that system. These are the people who do more than shock; they leave long-lasting impressions.
I have always marched to the beat of my own drummer. When I was growing up and everyone else was dressing "rock" or "punk" or "mall rat", I was comfortable in my T-shirt and jeans. Even to this day, I do not conform to other's idea of individuality. I am un-tattoed, un-pierced (except one hole in each ear) and finally comfortable in my own skin.
I did have a problem as a child though, I had a hard time feeling like I belonged anywhere. My parents fought all the time and constantly uprooted my brother and I to move from Florida to Ohio to North Carolina (over 40 moves in 13 years - NOT military related) and it made it very difficult for me to feel like I belonged anywhere. However, the knowledge I learned during that difficult time is that I am very adaptable to my surroundings. And now I am not scared of change.
I have settled down with my husband and daughter and finally feel like I belong somewhere. I still hold my own individuality though, I am still comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans and I have made a good life for myself, despite my turbulent childhood.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Today's Healthy Reflection:
Trying new things can give you a real zest for life. Pushing beyond your comfort zone in a responsible way helps you grow confidence and creativity that you can apply to your everyday life. Do not let fear control what you do (or don't) do. While taking risks can be scary, doing nothing is a big mistake, as it produces nothing fruitful within you. There is a direct relationship between the things that we achieve and the effort we put forth to obtain them. To reach the fruit, you have to climb the tree first!
I know all about jumping in with both feet, regardless of my fear of the unknown. In my opinion, the best book in the world to read on this subject is "Who Moved My Cheese?". It's a very simplistic look at how people react to change and fear. Within the last 3 years, I have successfully completed the following changes in my life:
Changed jobs 2 times (both promotions within same company)
Assist my husband with smoking cessation.
Believe it or not the last one was the most difficult. I love my husband more than anything in the world (child notwithstanding) and the fear of watching him become ill or dying from smoking scares me to death. I have found a way to put my own fear aside in order to assist him.
In the beginning, every time he'd slip up all I could think about was how he would never be able to quit and that I'd lose him. And every time he told me he had a weak moment, I would cry and get angry which would cause him to hide it and lie about it. But once I was able to overcome my fear, I was able to open up to him and talk to him and now we have an open floor for communication. When he does slip up, he's not afraid of my reaction so he talks to me. I'm so glad we are on this path together.
My leap of faith was to put my husbands fate in God's hands. I do not have control over it which enables me to help him when he needs support.
Good luck with your leap of fath...
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I did finally reach my second goal of 125 pounds on April 3rd of this year! That was a great feeling. I am still maintaining!
I also had my first SparkPeople anniversary on July 17th. What a wonderful website. Even though I am in the maintenance mode, I still log my food every single day. It makes me feel in control of what I eat and I feel has given me the ability to maintain!
When I first went into maintenance mode, I was afraid of the calorie increase and stayed well below it for a long time. Gradually though, I increased my calories but have still maintained. Just today I decided I'd like to drop another 5 pounds. If I don't, I'll be fine, but I still have this stubborn tummy that won't go away!
My downfall to healthier living is that I don't get enough sleep regularly which does not allow me to exercise regularly. I work all day and by the time I get home I'm exhausted. Exercise is frequently on my mind though!
I wish everyone the best of luck on their goals. If you want to stop and say hi, I always enjoy chatting!
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