KATERYN   21,703
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Back Again

Monday, August 06, 2012

It's been almost a year since I last posted. I am back. For a long time I was simply too discouraged to keep on trying. But, somewhere, down deep, I missed this site. I missed logging in my food and looking at the results. I missed logging in my exercise. I missed reading the blogs and all the encouragement other people have given me. I missed the informative articles. I even missed that spark wheel spin!

You've changed. I've changed. Maybe this time will be better.

I go walking/running with the neighbor most early mornings. This morning, after I dropped her off I went back to my old gym and worked out for half an hour. It felt good! Like coming home. I didn't realize how much I missed going to that dang gym!

I want to enter another 5k in September. Just less than five weeks away (sept 8.) Can I do it? I don't know, but with my neighbor's (and she's a friend also) encouragement I should be able to come in faster than my last 5k. We're doing our run/walk training at the local high-schools track at 5 am. Why the track? Cuz the surface there is much easier on my knees!

Goals? I got goals. And for the most part they are very doable. Loose 5 to 7 pounds a month for the next 6 months then reevaluate. Finish the 5k and start working up to an 8k (5 miles) to participate in next spring. Get off my meds and start saving beaucoup dollars there! I should be able to get rid of the blood pressure meds, and cut back on my diabetes meds, and maybe even cut out my cholesterol meds! That would save me hundreds of dollars a year! Or, if you want to think about it this way - the gym membership would pay for itself in reduced meds cost!

I like that my energy level is going up! And my depression level is going down! And I lost three more inches from my waist and another three from my hips. I thought that my pants felt loose the other day when walking into work - ie: I could feel them moving on my hips as I walked! Nice to know I wasn't imagining it!

Looking forward to tomorrow. And a bit of looking forward to next week, next month and next year. It's so wonderful to be just alive! And looking forward to reconnecting with my friends from facebook!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECCABOO127 10/11/2012 2:25AM

    emoticon back! You've been missed!

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IGSBETH 8/6/2012 12:43PM

    Good luck!

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down 2 points on my A1c! Yahoo!

Thursday, September 01, 2011

So, the mindful eating really really pays off.

I am (according to my doctor) down 8 pounds and two whole point on my A1c. Still not under 7.0 but I am getting there!

I found a great deal on testing strips - 200 for $125. Most pharmacies charge ya 1.10 each strip. I'm paying 62 and 1/2 cents each strip! I got mine thru Amazon.com. What can I say. It pays to shop around.

I had a great fasting reading also - 109!

I had been losing energy, feel depressed, and my fasting blood sugars were going up earlier this summer. And all this despite my training and running in a couple of 5ks! So, I pressed my doctor for a referral to the local diabetes center and got to take 9 hours of classes! it cost me a lot (125.00) but its paying off dividends big time in lowered readings!

I just had to cut the snacks out when my bs reading was above 250. And check what it was before I ate and adjust my meal to lower the carbs downward if it was higher than 200. Not eliminate the carbs, but adjust them downwards!

And to really pay attention to how often i was eating off program!

I found out that drifting off target and mindfulness is a common occurance for those of us with diabetes. It's a life long disease. And sometimes we just get tired of being hyper-vigilent each and every single day. We eventually (because we're all human) let down our guard and eat off program. Nothing bad happens. So of course we do it again. Then again and again until we're no longer feeling well or in-control of our life.

The trick however, is to get back with the program sooner and not get to the point of feeling sick, or depressed or non-energized! (All symptons of sugar overload for the type II diabetic by the way!)

And I can plan special occasions into my diet. I can have a bite of birthday cake - 1 small 2 x 2 x 2 piece (counts as 1 and 1/2 fruits and 1 grain and 1 fat.) Or a donut that someone brought into the office to share - I can have a 1/4 of a donut in exchange for 1 piece of fruit and 1 grain and 1 fat. Are these exchanges always the same - no. Are they dietician approved - oh hell no! But, they allow me to OCCASSIONALLY (let me stress that word again! OCCASSIONALLY) to eat off plan without ruining my diet or blowing my sugars all to heck. Occassionally in this case is defined to be not more often than once every 3 weeks or so.

And I can have my beloved sushi again! Not more than 4 rolls - cuz that meets my 2 grains or 1 cup rice for my dinner. So, I can go to my favorite restaurant and not feel deprived! Yea! Or just 2 rolls of sushi for lunch when I am allowed 1 grain serving. For those that don't know 1/2 cup rice is equivelent to 1 grain serving. And 1/2 cup of rice is not enough. I've learned to eat my asian foods and indian curries with little to no rice. Cuz I want to enjoy the sauces, and the flavors, and I don't need to soak up and eat all sauces or drippings. Cuz that's where all those extra fat calories lurk! See it pays off in so many ways to be a mindful eater and to know what a true serving size is.

I like the losing weight part. I'm really liking having more energy also! And the lower blood sugars! That's just part of the package!

Now on to healing this achilles tendon injury so I can start running in 5ks again!


A mindful eating breakthrough

Saturday, August 20, 2011

So, today was a big day for me. I went out for the second time this week and I didn't overeat! I didn't eat at all. I made plans to meet friends for coffee. And by golly that is exactly what I did. I just had two coffees! No pastries, no cookies, no munchies or sandwiches of any kind. Breakthrough for the WIN! I can go out to meet friends at restaurants and coffee houses without stuffing my face!

The other big breakthrough is one I am also sharing here. I admitted that I use food as an emotional crutch to my friend. This week after getting back from vacation I found myself stuffing my face more than usual. And as usual the weight that I had just spent a good six weeks losing started piling right back on. Why was i doing this self-sabotage? I admitted to my friend that I sat down and cried when I figured it out. I eat to make myself less desireable and to drive people away. This way I don't have to deal with failed relationships or rejection because of who I am inside. I can be rejected for my fat - much less personal rejection that way and much much easier on my ego.

As soon as I recognized what I was doing I was able to get my eating under control! And it is such a relief. I literally do feel like I can stand straighter because that admission not only to myself but to my friend (and now you) is a ton off my back!

I've known for sometime that I put on a lot weight after each breakup with a boyfriend throughout my life. About 25 lbs each time. And now I need to get rid of the boyfriends because they are killing me! I want to have fun again! I want to be brave enough to get involved again with someone. But this week is when I first recognized the signs in myself of how I try and reject someone before anything has even begun on anyone's part. The person on whom I have a crush is probably not even aware that I have a crush on them. This way I can't be hurt by rejection. I'm protecting myself by killing myself? What's up with that? I need to confront this part of me and work it through! And writing it here is a part of that.

Thank you for listening. I need to go drink more water now. I've allowed myself to become dehydrated this week as I started a self-destructive cycle. Now I need to overcome it with good food and lots and lots of water! Not to mention lots and lots of exercise!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAVENEL 8/23/2011 1:35AM

    I saw a lot of myself in this post, Kateryn. That fear of rejection is a powerful thing, isn't it? I find myself doing the pushing-people-away-before-somethin
g-can-happen thing too, though I only recently realized that's what I was doing. Bravo to you for seeing your way out of it! You're a fantabulous person and deserve every good thing to come to you--and it's only a matter of time before someone special recognizes that! emoticon

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Getting past my mind-blocks

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Last night I was working out with my trainer. He had me doing the side steps onto one riser plus the stablizer mat. That makes it more of a balance thing in addition to the normal side step up, side step down. The first one was my ah-ha moment. It took me longer to put my weight down on the foot on top of that stablizer mat the first time. Because it felt funny. Not solid (which kinda was the whole point of the exercise.) And I realized as I did it - that I could do it. That most of my hesitation was coming from my mind and not really my body.

And I've been thinking about this ever since. My mind is most of what is holding me back. I give in to the negative thoughts too often. The ones that say - oh you can't do that - you're too fat! You're too out-of-shape! You're too out-of-breath! Well guess what! When I ignore those negative sounds in my brain I find that I can too do it! It's a stretch sometimes, but I can do it!

I think Jillian and Bob call it stepping outside your comfort zone. Well, duh! Yeah, that's exactly it. My mind says no, you can't. My body isn't really saying no you can't. It doesn't care. It will do exactly what I ask of it - until I drop. It's my mind holding me back. It's my mind saying you can't run more than a quarter mile at a time - when at my last walk/run race my body was able to jog that entire last 1/2 mile. So, yes I can run more than a quarter mile at a time.

I got to quit listening to my thoughts and just press on and let my body tell me it can't. Cuz it certainly can do a heck of a lot more than my mind thinks it can. So, that's it mind. I'm putting you on notice. You're either with me or you're against me. And for to long now in my struggle to lose weight and get into shape - you've been against me. I'm gonna quit listening to you for the next month or so and see where that takes me. And then we'll have a little talk about your attitude. Cuz dude, it's not where I need you to be! You need to be my biggest supporter - not my biggest naysayer! I can do a lot more than I think I can!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEESPARKLE 5/26/2011 10:54AM

    Honey if I listened to my 69 year old mind at times. I would be lying on the floor. I a to get myself accountable for me and my team is Done Girls which I love as they are real motivators. I started my 3 day doing the 28 day Bootcamp video's. It is different but I am willing and not going to stop.

I listen now to the better inner inside not the negativity I have listened for years. I can do it. The turtle made it. Slow but sure just a little slower but he made it to the end. The train in the storybook did it. The one who said at first he couldn't.

Puf ,puff I can do it. He made it up that hill. Ya!

emoticon Rock on Girl! Rock on. I am with you. The whole 9 yards.

Comment edited on: 5/26/2011 10:56:51 AM

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