Sunday, November 09, 2014
So this is as far as I made it last time. I got to 23 days and it was just too much. I fell back into old habits and didn't look up again for over a year.
Maybe this time is different. For one, my plan is different. It allows for a little more wiggle room but has very concrete boundaries. It's not as all-or-nothing as the last time I was on SP.
For instance, tracking calories is not actually part of my plan. I've been doing it somewhat regularly, since I've been tracking other goals via SP, and while I'm in here it's easy enough to log my food, too. But while SP makes it easy to aim for a given calorie range, the plan doesn't require me to stay within that range. As long as I'm only eating real food and not snacking after 8pm, that is major progress, whether I go over the SP-recommended calories or not.
Similarly, making my step/Shine goal is not part of the plan, either. Sure, I'd *like* to walk over 8k steps a day and meet my Shine goal of 900 points, and I've been doing a decent job of doing those things. But I don't have to, according to the plan. As long as I exercise for 10 minutes a day, I'm doing better than before.
I've got to keep all this in mind. Because after three weeks now, this is getting hard and boring. I feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life hungry and on the treadmill. And if I can't do it (be perfect, that is), well I might as well give up and eat a whole bag of Doritos, right?
It's times like these when I need to slow down and focus on my ACTUAL goals:
Eat real food.
Don't snack mindlessly after the girls go to bed.
Move for at least 10 minutes every day.
Don't drink soda pop.
Take care of myself.
I need to remember that, while weight loss will hopefully be a happy side effect of taking better care of my body and loving myself, it is NOT the primary goal.
So as for my primary goals, I've been doing a kick ass job! I've had soda only two times in 3 weeks! That means I've been drinking a lot more water. I've snacked before bedtime an average of 1 in 3 days, which is SO much better than every night, like I was doing before. And I've taken at least one walk almost EVERY SINGLE DAY, which is a vast improvement over never.
I have a lot to be proud of.
I'm not going anywhere. Except on a walk.
(Now I should probably go update my goals with non-weight loss related things ;) )
Monday, November 03, 2014
I'm still here!
Feeling pretty good. Trying to form some good habits.
So far I've been shocked at how motivated I have remained, and how easy my daily goals feel. By focusing on very small daily rules, it makes it that much easier to just keep going day to day. Of course, that means it's going to take close to 3 years to reach my goal, if not more. But if I can really change the way I live, the number on the scale is actually not that important.
I can do this.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
So it's been almost a year and a half since I last had success with SparkPeople. There were a couple starts and stops in there, but the last time I had success sticking to a plan was back in June of 2013. Since that time I've gained back all the weight I lost, plus some. Also, my mom died. It's been a year since her death, and I'm ready to start moving on again.
The new plan consists of elements of my old plans. I'm using SparkPeople to track my goals and exercise, and calories if I want to. I'm using the Elements to motivate healthy changes in my life, but in a more concrete way than in the past.
The plan is:
Air - no eating after 8pm
Fire - exercise 10 minutes a day
Water - no soda pop
Earth - eat real food
Spirit - meditate 5 minutes a day
It's been 13 days so far and I'm down 4 pounds and still feeling pretty optimistic.
But as always failure is a real fear. I've stopped and started so many plans, I just can't trust that this time will be any different.
I'm trying to just live in the moment and do my best, and not worry about sticking with it in the long run. It will come if it comes.
For the time being, this feels like a plan I can live with. This feels like loving myself.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
My clothes are more comfortable.
I am in a better mood most of the time than I was before I started this plan.
I feel more present in the moment.
I have more patience with my husband and daughters.
Food tastes better.
Water tastes better.
I've been having insomnia, but when I DO sleep, I sleep more deeply.
I could keep up with my older daughter at her horseback riding lesson today.
I could keep up with my younger daughter at the playground today.
It's becoming easier to stop eating even when there is still food left on my plate.
I am really proud of myself.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Well, the newness has officially worn off of this plan. That doesn't mean that I'm not still enjoying it from time to time (not to mention I have more energy!), but the bloom is definitely off the rose. I'm at that point where I'm seriously trying to sabotage myself. This is BORING! It's not WORKING! Why am I STILL FAT!?
At least, that's how it feels. Of course, I know that the weight I slowly accumulated over almost 11 years isn't just going to fall off me just because I'm finally making good choices. I know this is a new way of living, not a quick fix. I know this is a journey, and I really do embrace that. But that small, evil voice inside me still keeps chanting, "boring-boring-boring-you-deserve-that-bro
-you-loser-c'mon-WHAT'S-NEXT?" I once named that voice Sue. I need to tell her to shut up.
But the miraculous thing is that I'm still here. I've never been this far along in a plan, so I don't really know what happens next. I'm surprised I'm still here. I think the hardest part right now is living with my mistakes and moving on. I was PERFECT for the first week and it was effortless. Now I've slipped up and not tracked or not had enough water and my SparkStreaks are all back to zero days and part of me feels like I'm not really on the plan anymore at all and Sue keeps whispering to me that I may as well give up because I obviously can't do it.
But I'm still here. And I'm going to stay here. And, whatever else has happened this week, I'm still down 10 pounds.
This is not about perfection; it's about change. I am changing. I am making different choices. Not always perfect choices and old habits can die hard, but it's been two weeks and I'm still here.
I'm not going anywhere.
And tomorrow over my lunch break I'm going to go out and buy myself those new shoes I promised myself once I was on the plan for two weeks.
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