Friday, August 14, 2009
One of the things that motivated me to join SP was a call on June 2 from my doctor's office offering a free pilot program aimed at obese women. I figured why not? It's free and it'll provide accountability. I told a close friend about it and he told me about SP, which I joined on June 3.
I first went to my doctor on January 20, and weighed in at 286 pounds and was mortified. I started using FitDay sporadically and lost and gained, but wasn't very consistent, and so by the time I went back to the doctor's office on June 2, I'd only lost 7 pounds, down to 279. I now had a "wellness coach," (WC, heh) and I think she basically assumed that I had all kinds of psychological/emotional issues, because she was full of questions about goals, feelings, etc. I guess I assumed I'd get over it, or she was just trying to gauge what kind of person I was, but I was joining the program for 1) accountability; 2) nutrition advice, and 3) fitness advice, NOT for psychological services. Anyways, we were to check in by phone or email weekly and meet in-office monthly.
Well, every week, I told her I was doing well (because I was) and every week it went something like this:
WC: Great progress. How does that make you feel?
K: Good, thanks! I went out this weekend and made good choices in the restaurants, so that's good. I'm boosting my running, but each week gets harder.
WC: How were you able to be a role model for your friends and husband when you went out over the past week?
WC: Tell me what scares you about running? Have you ever run before? What was it like? How old were you then?
K: Nothing scares me. I've never run before this. I think I told you that... Oh, and I went for a manicure/pedicure as a reward for losing 20 pounds.
WC: How did it make you feel? What are three things you value the most in your life? Also, what are three things you are grateful for? Do you have any nutrition/eating/food goals for next week?
Yikes. I asked her to send me some strength exercises 2 weeks ago and I still haven't gotten any. Oh, but I did get an invite to come in and weigh in today before work.
So okay, I think, maybe she'll give me the exercises there. I go early, early this morning. Weigh in. 256! Woot, one more pound down! I'll take that.
She smiles at me.
WC: How does that make you feel?
K: It makes me feel like I want those exercises you said you'd send me 2 weeks ago...
WC: Ah, um, I was working on that.
K: Listen, I'm here for advice on nutrition/exercise, which is apparently what your specialty is as a nutritionist. If I wanted counseling, I'd go to someone with an "MD" next to their name or I'd go to my husband or friend who actually knows a lot about me.
She looks at me blankly. I tell her I'll email her how I'm doing, but I don't want any more empty questions. Just straight out advice. I leave.
Every day on SP, I get the advice I need without the WC's BS. If I want to learn about lunges, there's a video. If I want to know the nutritional value of a plum, bingo. If I want motivation, I go to the "motivation" section, or I can ask for help. I don't have to talk about my feelings unless I want to, and when I do, people don't say, "How does it make you feel?" but offer me genuine advice and/or encouragement.
I probably was a little mean? But I don't know, it's a frustrating situation... I do know that...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Q: Why oh why did I ditch my "tight" pants last year? (Though I'm glad someone who needed them is wearing them now!)
A: I guess I was resigned to always being fat, and never again fitting into a Size 20 or 18... My change of attitude since then is pretty amazing now that I think about it. Now I KNOW I'm going to be saying sayonara to plus sizes in 2010!
While it's pretty awesome that none of my work pants fit very well anymore, especially in the stomach and butt (I guess that's where I'm losing the most? Measurements next week!), I look like a ragamuffin or a gangsta rapper.
...Waist riding way low... Hello, want to see what color underwear I'm wearing? You probably can catch a glimpse by the end of the day!
...Pant legs way too wide... What kind of sausages was I hiding in there?
...The best part?... I can take my pants down without unzipping them! Hello, easy access!
I don't feel like buying new pants just yet, because (hopefully) I'll have the same problem with THOSE in a few months. I'll wait until the cusp of obscenity. Or just wear skirts! There you go.
I posted on a woman's blog where she wrote she was contemplating quitting. I think with a lot of us that have 100+ pounds to lose, it gets so daunting. I know my journey is going to last more than a year. But why not celebrate progress? 22 pounds is great, and those of you following my blogs know that I can fall victim to the pressures of the scale, but my greatest successes are the following:
- I started C25K running for a minute at a time and thought I was going to die. Now I'm running 15 minutes! Never in a million years would I have thought that me, at 257 pounds, could run a mile. And here I am, in 2 1/2 months on SP!
- I ran up the humongo staircase at the train station yesterday, and didn't pant at all! I didn't even realize it until I jumped into the car, and thought "Geez, did I actually run up those stairs? I didn't even feel it!"
- Eating just 1400 calories in a day and not even "trying" to be "good." Something must be sticking!
So while I sit here for another 12-14 hour day in the office in my ragamuffin clothes, trying to fidget as much as possible, I can't help but smile. Life is pretty good right now.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I'm adding this SP article in case anyone hasn't read it, but it's amazing! "What does 300 calories really look like?" Some of my friends marvel when I tell them I try to eat 200-350 calories for breakfast and lunch with a larger dinner and a lot of snacks. "300 calories is nothing," they tell me.
Look at some of the 300-350 calorie meals in this article. They're huge!
It's Day 70 of my lifestyle change, and I've learned to stretch a calorie and still feel full and naughty. My lunch today? Arnold sandwich thins (thanks to SP for the recommendation, they are absolutely amazing!) topped with 1.5 tbsp of natural peanut butter, a tsp of Nutella (you know how good that is), and a tsp of raspberry jam. C'mon, how decadent is that at 316 calories? Full of protein (and yes, sugar), but also fulfills that omnipresent need for sweets and chocolate.
Yesterday for breakfast I had an egg white omelet, because I'm lucky enough to work in a place with a cafeteria with made-to-order omelets. A HUGE egg white omelet with tomato, mushroom and bacon (mmm, bacon!) is a whopping 175 calories, and SO FILLING.
It's the little substitutes that make it work... egg whites instead of full eggs for omelets (though I eat real eggs sunny side up or boiled; yolks are good for you!), cooking spray instead of oil and butter, almonds instead of those measly 100 calorie packs...
I've been kind of lax with exercise this week because we were given the opportunity to work 60 hours in 5 days and I'm going to take it and get the overtime, trying to compensate with eating the low end of my calorie range. I did some strength training last night when I got home and I'm spending my commute and breaks doing as much brisk walking and stair climbing as I can. I'm going to get to the gym and run my mile (or more?) tonight, but definitely not my best week activity-wise.
Hugs to all my Sparkies, and hope this article helped a little!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I'm calling this blog patience and payoff, because sometimes my digital scale is a great big jerk. Sometimes I succumb to its siren song, "Step on meeee, Kristina!!!" and it tells I've gained 3 pounds, giggles (OK, flashes) at me, and retreats into the corner when I know a 3-pound gain is impossible.
And then there's days like today, my ACTUAL weigh-in day, when the scale is my friend. Down one more pound... 257!
Don't be an idiot, Kristina. Weigh in on Tuesdays with a do-over on Wednesday if necessary.
Monday, August 10, 2009
What a weekend! I had so much fun in the outdoors and playing in the sun!
I ran the mile at last! I decided I would figure out what running a mile in my neighborhood meant in distance and would run it, no questions asked. It was excruciating, especially since it was hot and humid even at 8 a.m., but I did it!
I kept moving all weekend, walking, doing yard work, playing baseball and cricket on the beach!
Friday night I had the option of getting a nice grilled fish when we went out to eat at this beautiful restaurant with a riverside terrace, but instead I succumbed to the pressures of my dining companions and had fried oysters and onion rings instead. Oh, and two mojitos. Which were amazingly delicious, but probably did me no favors. We had to wait over an hour for a table, so we didn't end up eating til 9 p.m., which is part of the reason why I overate, I think. I was starving, and I think my brain was telling me to order whatever I wanted...
Yesterday, my husband suggested going to a terrific ice cream shop with the amazing creamy ice cream. I planned on getting the smallest size (1/4 kiddie) and enjoying it and eating simply the rest of the day, but I later realized a 1/4 kiddie was actually two enormous scoops of ice cream, and to get the smallest size, you had to order a "one-scoop." Oh, my mistake. I took off the top scoop of the ice cream, but still probably ended up eating more than I should. I still only ate 1300 calories for the day, but still, 500 calories of ice cream and god knows how much fat is not the best for me.
So despite my triumph in the fitness department, the scale is showing me back up to 259 again. Sigh. I'm now on Day 68 of my lifestyle change, and in the beginning, I skipped whole weekends of healthy eating, and still managed to lose 3 pounds for the week. It encouraged me that if I kept an overall healthy diet, a slip-up wasn't going to kill me. Now I keep losing and gaining this pound, even while exercising more and eating better than I did at the beginning of this journey.
I need a shock, I think. A shock to the metabolism! I'm thinking strength training is probably the answer, as well as smaller meals. I'm always so intimidated by the strength machines at the gym, but it's probably time I get acquainted with them. And I'm so used to eating a bigger meal at night (and so is my husband) so that may also be a challenge.
I still love SP, and I knew there would be a plateau, I was just hoping that it would happen when I lost oh, around, 50 pounds?
Any other suggestions?
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